3's -Day 13

I decided to pull two cards.

1. What am I moving away from? Hanged Man Rx - Being in limbo. We see the clock and from this perspective it looks like it's 5 or 45 min until midnight/noon. It ain't over yet, but very soon a major turning point will be reached.

2. What am I moving toward? - 3 of cups - the first thing I think of is the brilliance and the solid nature of a diamond. I will have joy will have a strong foundation based on a commitment to loving and honoring mySelf.

I notice both a cards are 3's. This speaks to me of nurture, love, creativity and completion. *big smile with a glimmer of hope in my heart*

 

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The Rx Star - Day 12

As I was shuffling the Faulkner Tarot, a card flipped over, The Star Rx. As many times as I've looked at this card I've never noticed that there is a lid covering the wishing well. It's like all the things I'm wishing for are so close, but something is blocking me from having access. I'm taking this a sign to not loose faith in spite of the many obstacles in front of me. And The Star card means angels and according to Rhiannon Faulkner who created the deck it means a house move. Just what I've been praying for. Thank you angels for looking out and for sending me signs.

I was ready to call this done and as I was typing the very simple title The Rx Star instead of The Star Rx, it made me think; what is a reversed star ? A black hole? I'm too tired to get lost in Google-land looking it up and I think the point is the question I just asked myself that questions the contrast between the two. What I'm getting is a warning to be mindful not to absorb negativity, a reminder to do my cleansing baths and to shield.

 

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Lovers Rx

Just cause you don't like a card doesn't mean you get to ignore it. In fact, I guess the argument could be made that you definitely need to pay attention to it. Today's draw for myself comes from the Faulkner Tarot and it is The Lovers Rx. I recently had a break up and though I have no doubt that it is for the best, it still makes me very sad.

The Lovers card is also about choice. It is ruled by Merucry, which is Rx at this time. This card says to me that regardless of how well-suited and compatible we are in so many ways, or how clearly we both saw ourselves walking down the same path toward a future together, we clearly got very off track. Choices we both made, or in some cases didn't make, got us both in the very fucked up place we are in our lives respectively. Communication that was open and forthcoming became half-truths and lies from one partner to another to cover up addiction issues. And then that became lies to ourselves, and thus a toxic cesspool that caused both our lives to implode. No matter how much love there is, if things become imbalanced, what was once a beautiful union turns into a codependent death trap. All we can do is choose to accept where we are and choose to make choices that lead to our own true happiness.

 

 

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For Chloe It's Sixx A.M.

I have been in love with Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue for about 25+ years. But the more I learn about him, the more I love him. One of the many things that makes me hold him in such high regard is his passion for helping teenagers who are suffering,  run-aways in particular. In 2008 he founded a charity that works with Covenant House called Running Wild In the Night. They provide everything from legal services to drug treatment to transitional living services, as well as  a music program since that was his primary outlet as a troubled kid. Having been a run-away himself he is all about being an advocate for any child who is in trouble or suffering.

So when I was puttzing around on FB today I saw a post he made of a video a very special young lady made on YouTube for the song that his side project Sixx A.M. wrote titled " Skin". She touched his heart and many others in a very deep place. I could go on for days about the songs that Sixx A.M. creates and how deep and meaningful the lyrics are, (I may have to do anther post in him/them...) and this song is definitely no exception. I am still, (yes even after all of the media attention) completely shocked with this whole bulling situation in our society. Have there always been bullies, of course. But what is happening today is just beyond anything I can ever remember seeing.

For years he was the quintessential Knight of Wands; hot, sexy, wild ,crazy, animated, the life of the party and totally fearless dare-devil. Also for his amazing business skills. .But Nikki has well and truly grown into the title of King of Wands For one, he is a Sagittarius. (what is it about Sag men that drives me wild!? Oh yeah... Everything! lol). He still lives his life with such a lust for it.  He is very charming, and on Dec 11 he will turn 55 and his ass is just as sexxxy as it was in 1987! He is passionate about everything he does, but like every Sag I have every known, he is passionate beyond words about protecting kids and making sure they feel loved. I swear the more I know about him the more I love him. 

So I am posting two videos for the same song. I want to share with you this video that this precious little girl named Chloe made and sent to him as well as a video that someone else created to speak out against children being harassed and bullied. I will warn you, both are absolute tear jerkers, so you may want to know that before you watch them. But I am creating this post because this has got to stop. Awareness is the first step. And I want to make sure that children who are victims, especially little Chloe who was so raw and honest and courageous in making this video, get heard. She is truly an inspiring little girl. I see her as the Page of Wands, a fearless little leader who is full of potential and has a mischievous spark in her bright eyes and and the power to create much needed change. My heart is sending you so much love and healing sweetheart.

 *Yes, it is the same song. I am intentionally posting two videos of the same song because each one is so powerful and special, as are the lyrics*

Reading For a Client: To Trust or Not To Trust?

A client wanted to know if she should or should not trust a certain person  she knows. I used the Faulkner Tarot because it is black and white photography and my client is a very give-it-to-me-straight kinda girl. And boy did it! There isn't even a question about the answer to this!

1-3. If you do trust said person, what will be the result? 8 of swords, Queen of Wands, The Tower XVI- Dammnnn Gina! (a quote from the show Martin lmao) I mean dang. The short answer; aww HELL NO!!! But let's break this down as to why.

1. 8 of Swords- This is a sneaky, sneaky person who likes to play the victim card. I feel like if you trust her you will be giving her power or authority over you and she will use this against you and somehow make it look like you are to blame. Or if she gets caught playing her deceit, she will say that she had no choice *doe-eyed look* That she couldn't make everyone happy and she is so sorry but she was only doing what she had to. The situation was out of her hands. But that is a load of crap! This 8ofSw is saying to me that need to be very cautious who you say what to about this person or situation. She or someone else eavesdrops or reads emails or listens in on conversations when no one is aware. If you trust her, you are leaving the door wide open for her to hit you with some kind of surprise attack, and judging from the rest of the cards in this set, it will really bite you in the ass! But we'll get to that in a minute.

2. Queen of Wands- I keep feeling like this is a work situation, office politics crap. The person in question is a climber. You know, one of those who would say they would hand in your report to the boss since they are going into her office *smile like Brie from Desperate Housewives*. And on the way there, replace your quotes or spread sheet with the wrong info. Or they would answer your phone and "be sure that you get the message asap!" *Brie smile* and transpose the numbers or just never even write them down. Then go and handle the situation herself. You look like an ass, she looks like a rock star. Why? Because she A. took care of the situation and made sure the customer was happy (so the boss thinks she is so pro-active and efficient, a problem solver) and B. she just went ahead and took care of that for you since she knew you were just swamped! (aka you are an incompetent employee and she is all of those obnoxious corporate America terms that make us want to puke like "team-player" and "crew resource management" *Brie smile*  (dear God I hope this about work since I keep feeling that so strongly. Either way, do NOT trust this person!!) She fights nasty. She is smug and she is a liar. But do not underestimate your opponent! She is one very very sharp cookie! She is power-hungry and loves to be right. She totally enjoys making others look foolish so she can come out smelling like a rose. Think that chick from The Hand that rocks the Cradle or Eli Gold on The Good Wife. Or, although I love this character, Constance from American Horror Story. Vindictive, cunning, and duplicitous. Nasty!

3. The Tower XVI-  Man.... whew! Just keep one eye open at all times and steer clear of this person! Do not give them even a slight hint that you are nervous about them, that will only fuel the fire with a personality like this! This person is a predator man, very destructive. But not everyone else may see her that way. She may appear to be harmless, "oh, you know how she is. It's not big deal." Uhh... yeah, it is a very big deal! Again, that whole sweet little victim routine. They are very destructive and if you let your guard down and trust them, it will somehow be worse than what you can see right now. Something will catch you totally off guard and will blow up in your face and there will be hell to pay. Do not goad her into a battle, but like they say when you think a predator is following you or in a elevator with you to make eye contact. Don't start any fires, but let them know that you have got their number "Hi there. How are you today? I'm well thank you." *Brie smile*

If you trust this person, you will rue the day!

4-6. If you don't trust this person, what will it get you? The Lovers VI, The Star XVII, Knight of Cups- This whole set speaks to making choices based on intellect as well as gut instincts and being happier for it.

4. The Lovers VI- This card is so often about romantic relationships. So if I am wrong about this being a work situation, still don't trust her. She is a divide and conquer sort. The Lovers is ruled by the planet Mercury, the planet of communication and intellect. It is also about blending the intellect with what you are passionate about, making choices that ring true in your head but also in your heart. I feel like you already know you can't trust this person and you have had an experience or two that substantiates your suspicions. If you don't trust her, there is some relationship that will be much better for it. No matter how much someone else thinks she is harmless, she ain't! If it's a co-worker, a boss, a lover, a family member, they may be blind to this person's true nature. You aren't and I think you know why. Don't forget it.

5. The Star XVII- The Star is all about hope, faith, trust even when you can't see why. Trust your gut! I also think that there is someone else who has got your back in this situation, acts as your guardian angel, a true friend. Maybe they know how she really is and will give you heads up on things. I still would let that person do more of the talking and you do the listening though. Not trusting her will keep you safe and somehow not let your faith in someone, or something be tainted. Maybe your faith in humanity, that not everyone is out to get you and it is ok to allow certain people in. Again, go with your gut.

6. Knight of Cups- You will be much happier and have emotional contentment if you don't trust said person. Peace of mind is priceless.

7. What is hidden that you need to know?- 8 of pentacles- Ok the dang card is an office scene with a coffee cup that has the word "Boss" written on it. Again, is this a work situation? Is this chick trying to take your job, or get a promotion so she has authority over you? Or even if it isn't work related, she wants to have you at a definite disadvantage. I keep hearing that there are lies and something to do with communication that is sneaky.

8. Advice- King of Wands- Again, just keep acting like it's all no big deal, she is no big deal and she doesn't even phase you. Look her in the eye and smile when you see her *Brie* but don't make it overly obvious that you know she is a wench. She is the type who will never ever let anyone see her sweat! She is cocky and loves to be in control and she is very quick on her feet. Always keep the upper hand by doing what you need to but ignoring her. She will hate that lol. But do not let either her or this situation consume you. Stay focused on what is most important, and that is your own happiness and peace. If you let this be at the forefront of your thoughts all of the time, then she has won in all actuality. Because you know her game, treat her as no more than the annoying gnat at the picnic that she is.

I hope this is helpful and gives you the information you need to make the best choices.

Relationship Reading For a Client: Will My Ex and I Get Back Together?

This is a reading I did via email for a client. Her is her request:
I got divorced a yr ago, but I want to know if my ex and I will get back together. He's dating someone right now though. 


This is the reading I sent to her via email:
First of all, I don't know if you've ever had a tarot reading before. Think of it as a snapshot of your life right now and the energies around you at this time. Everyone has free will, so either you or the other person can change things based upon what choices are made.

The first thing I notice is how many cups and fire you have in the reading. so this shows me a lot of love and a lot of passion as well. I also notice the lack of pentacles and only one sword and it is not the most positive of swords to say the least. That tells me that there are some major communication issues and that ideology or logic is in question and that there is not a solid foundation that is present. A lot of growth and nurturing needs to take place because there are a lot of security issues.

1. Where things stand right now- The Sun XIX- Well for you to have the question you do, this is a most auspicious card. The cards want to start talking about focusing on the bright side. It seems that there is a lot that is positive and to be hopeful for. It reflects that at one point there was a lot of happiness and joy. But that healing and growth needs to take place.

2. What helps or hinders- 10 of Cups- Wow, again such a positive card, the card of the happy family and marriage. The fact that you both want the emotional support of a relationship is what is in your favor for reconciliation. But my eye is also drawn to dark woods in the background. Did something happen before you guys got married that is still an issue because it wasn't dealt with or brought to the light?

3. How you see him- 2 of Cups- You see him as the yin to your yang, as your true mate that you want to have a very deep connection with. The person you want to share your ideas and feelings with, but in a very deep and profound way. You see him as your rock, your strength. Like maybe you are opposites in many ways but that is a big part of what attracts you to him. 

4. How he sees you- 4 of Cups- I feel like he doesn't really see the gift he has in you, your unshakable loyalty. You are ride or die, 100% committed and your love is so pure. I question whether or not he realizes how lucky/blessed he is to have that. What issues from his past again are hanging over him and causing him to be distant and detached. He may need to get out of his own head so much and realize that not everything can be planned out and followed like a business plan. And in all fairness to him, what things did you do when you where dating and first fell in love that you stopped doing? The things that attracted him to you and made him want to get to know more about you and made him excited and feel that passion.

5. What's best for you? 5 of Cups- It's like what's best for you is to let go and move on. If things have a chance to be worked  out, you need to take care of you and do a lot of healing. It is imperative that you gain a sense of independence. So that both of you know that you want him, not that you need him. I think you feel like that would be dishonoring your strong sense of commitment, but that will actually prove it. You have to be committed to yourself first. And stop beating yourself up. Take responsibility for what you should, but stop beating yourself up! Whatever you did or maybe that you didn't do is gone and over. All you can do is start from this moment and move forward. But you can NOT continue to beat yourself up! Nor let anyone else beat you up for anything! You have to move on and let go if there is any chance at reconciliation. Because he has GOT to respect you more.

*click on the picture to enlarge it*

6. What's best for him- King of Wands- I feel like he needs to grow up in a lot of ways. It can be hard to balance work, home, wife, friends, other family, hanging with the boys, ect. But if he wants to be in a marriage, he's going to have to start to work on it. And work itself cannot be his scapegoat for everything. Is he a work-a-holic? Does he have the Peter Pan syndrome? What is he not facing or want to deal with or put his energy into? What's best for him is to re-define what he is truly passionate about in life and what success really means to him.

7. Advice/outcome - 9 of Swords- There is a consistent theme of not facing something and ghosts from the past that need to be faced and put to rest. Something that keeps one or both of you extremely stressed and  literally gives you nightmares that wakes you up at night. It's time to face the demons of the past or they will continue to haunt you, both individually and separately. And with any other relationships that may come in the future. I think counseling or spiritual advice will really benefit you all. The power of prayer can do amazing things, but again, human beings have free will. So it's up to us what we choose to do, or not do. This card says to me that if there is a chance of a new beginning, there has got to be a definitive ending. The loss of a relationship or marriage is just like a death and so a period of mourning and all of the steps that go along with that are necessary for healing to begin. And anger and acceptance are part of that process.

8. Over all Bottom Line- Judgement XX- This is the card being used to sum up all of the rest of the reading. It says to me that there is a good chance that reconcilation is possible. But a lot of very hard work is needed here, it won't be an easy road. This is known as the card of second chances, the do-over card I call it, taking things to the next level. But it also means that a lot of courage is required and a lot of healing is required if there is a chance to reconstruct this marriage. And I say reconstruct and not rebuild here because a whole new foundation needs to be established, a completely clean slate to work from. Some huge emotional situation needs to be overcome. This is the Archangel Gabriel giving the call to you both. It's time to wake up and choose what response you want to give to this call, what you want out of your lives, separately and as a couple. But I am coming back to that 2 of cups. This card is about PARTNERSHIP, not just a relationship. If two people are not working together toward a common goal, it's just a relationship, not a partnership. And if both of the partners are not on the same page of what they want to get out of being together then you are not working together. Prayer is talking to God. Meditation is being quiet and still long enough to listen to the answers. Find time to be alone and light a white candle and start writing a letter. To God, to yourself and to your ex-husband. Get your feelings out on paper. Then come back to it and read it after 3 days. I feel like your answers will be in that writing.

Sending you love, healing, and prayers to you. Please feel free to give me your feedback

xoxox

Relationship Reading: Chuck and Sparkle

A friend asked me for a reading on a love interest. I decided to try Rhiannon's relationship spread using her deck the Faulkner Tarot. She has a fabulous YouTube video on how to do it. This spread involves a lot of cards, 16 of them. I had a hard time trying to figure out how I was going to take picture of the cards. Should I break it up with several pictures in groups? I chose not to and to do a shot of the entire spread so we could actually see the cool way she lays the cards out. I just put it in the middle of the reading. If you click on the picture it will enlarge it so you can see the cards in more detail.

1-3. What does Sparkle bring into the relationship? Well, all three cards are swords, so right off the bat that tells me that Sparkle is very stressed about realtionships and that she may need to work on her communication skills. Perhaps she can be a bit cold or use her words as weapons. First card is the 9 of swords- aka "the nightmare card" which reiterates the stress and often times actual nightmares. Being right next to Justice XI this shows her recent divorce is still very fresh in her mind. It seems she was in a relationship that was extremly painful and her heart is still very heavy. Next to it is the 4 of swords, the card that says you need to rest and take care of yourself. All together, this group is telling me that she needs to take time to heal from a whole lot of nasty shit from the past that still haunts her. Letting go of old ghosts that still haunt her. Everything is energy and the energy of her past relationship or her ex is still clinging to her spirit, which makes all the sense in the world. Even though we know it's best to leave a situation it doesn't take away the pain. Right now, I see her bringing a lot of old wounds and a need for self-care and nurturing. It's great to see she has learned to set boundaries, but I fear she has set up walls.

3-6. What Chuck brings to the reationship? He seems to bring a lot more emotion and openness than Sparkle, but he still has his own apprehention and fear. The first card is the 3 of cups. I think Chuck wants a good healthy relationship, commitment, something where he feels safe and supported, but also fun and happy times they can share together. The next card, the Ace of Swords, shows he is still scared a bit shitless but wants to take the plunge, break out of his comfort zone. Is he afraid of loosing his personal freedom if he gets into a relationship? And this next card is the Queen of Cups. Who is she? Is she the woman from his past who may have been emotionally manipulative? Did she not treat him as an equal or does he have some "mamma's boy" tendencies?

7. How Sparkle sees Chuck- Page of wands- Chuck seems like his ass is a whole lot of fun! She sees him as wild, adventurous, and sexy as hell! Chuck really makes her all tingly in naughty places lol! She sees him as a break from the monotony of life and a fresh new start.

8. How Chuck sees Sparkle- 6 of Swords- This makes me think that the Qof C we jsut saw is someone from his past. He sees Sparkle as moving on to a less stressful time. Someone he can do fun and romatic things and who will appreciate him for it. But he also sees her as hiding something. He sees that wall she has up.

9. How did Sparkle first see Chuck? When they first met, what did she think? - The Hanged Man XII- She saw him as a very strong possibility she wanted to pursue, but she saw his apprehention, his need to take things slowly and in his own time. I like how this shows that she has learned from her past to see a person as they are, not who she wants them to be.

10. How did Chuck see Sparkle when they first met?- 2 of pentacles- He saw her stress and trying to find her footing and balance in her life. He saw she needs to take things slowly as well. I also think he saw that she is the type of person who is such a giver and that she gave so much of herself in the past yet never had it balanced out with recieving from her ex that she is just tapped out at the moment and needs to continue working on her own needs. I like that, it shows he thinks about others and not only himself.

11. What are Sparkle's fears that could block this relationship? 9 of pentacles- Well Chuck ain't the only one who fears loosing his independence huh. The 9ofP is all about someone who has worked long and hard to get to wear they are. A person who has learned to love themselves and is very independant. They like the company of others, yes, but they do not need anyone else! Her fear of loosing herself in the relationship in another person could block thngs.

12. What are Chuck's fears?- Knight of Cups- I think he fears getting all caught up in the romance of it and I also think he fears rejection. Is there a shy aspect of Chuck? Or is it again that QofC from his past who kicked his ass emotionally and made him insecure? This man needs a lot of emotional reassurance.

13. Outside influences in Sparkle's world- The Lovers VI- I feel this goes back to her divorce since this card often has to do with marriage. It also has to do with choices and balancing the head with the heart. Are there issues other than the ones already mentioned that are major choices in Sparkle's world that are making her have to choose what road to take?

14. Outside influences in Chuck's world? The Knight of Pentacles- Is work or money making and planning for the future in a slow methodical way a major factor in his world that would infuence him? Or does he see that this relationship would be a lot of hard work and he is trying to go very slowly to see if it's worth it. Not in a cruel way or that he is seeing Sparkle in a negative light, just a mature assement of of his life and what is best.

15. Outcome- 5 of swords- I hate to say it, but I have to be honest in my readings. The 5ofSw is just a nasty card that really doesn't have a good side to it. I see the two of them just rubbing eachother the wrong way and things getting nasty and stressful, bringing out the worst and not the best in each other. The 5ofSw is about gossip, and shit-talkin', and empty victories. Shit hits the fan and the gloves come off and people fight unfairly.

16. So I jsut had to check another card to see if there was anything else we could find out. I did the card at the bottom of the deck which sums it all up, the bottom line of it all.--Damn... 10 of Swords. I hate like hell to say it, but it does not look very promising to say the least for this relationship. 10ofSw is another one of the most nasty cards in the deck. It shows starting over, but from a place of a lot of pain and stress and emptiness. Which I guess kind of comes full circle from the first cards we laid out to begin with.

. 

I Popped My Cherry!

I DID IT!!!
 I did it damnit all to hell! I FINALLY carried my ass down to the French Quarter (FQ) to Jackson Square (JSq) and read cards!
I was so nervous, but I finally made up my mind because it was just before Halloween and what better time  and place for Goddess sake!?! New Orleans, LA in The FQ, on Halloween! If not then, WTF man! I went to my cousin's room and told that ballsy Leo chick to kick my ass. And she did lol! I had no idea how the frick I was gonna get me and all my shit from A-B. It hit me, *ding* use your rollerboard flight attendant! So I packed up candles, put newspaper and prayer in and around the glass holders, my pillow, blanket, cards inscence, 3 decks of cards, and pretty cloths for my table, shoved a wad of bread and a Motrin 800mg down my gullet, slapped on my screaming whore red MAC Russian Roulette lipstick and rolled on out the door. My cousin had gotten the cloth fold up chairs out for me. I threw it all in the back of his beat up pick up truck his wife The Leo named The Green Goblin and carried my ass to the store to get a table. I'd looked it up online, called and they said they had it. I drive to the FQ and decide to go to pay to park so I knew I'd find a  space. I knew I could not have even the slightest thing be even a remotely possible reason for me to punk out! I drag my shit to JSq and start to set up and stop short. WTH.... The freakin' table is  SO NOT the one I saw online!! It barely came as high as my knees and was like 1' X 1'! Was this intended for a 3yr old's tea party?! My heart sank a bit, but I was just so proud I had even got this far. I was jsut about to pack up when the husband, Xan, of the nice couple I have become friends with comes over and is looking at me like WTH is that LOL? He then goes over and Willow, his wife who gave me a wonderful reading a couple of weeks ago and encouraged me to come out there, was so kind and let me use one of her tables! They are the nicest people, I'm really happy to be building a friendship with them! Long story short, no sooner than I lit the candles did a woman come and sit down. I was so so nervous, that I was too nervous to remember I was nervous LMFAO! I ended up doing 3 readings. I'd set a goal of leaving by midnight and not without $100. Well, by 11:30pm, I had exactly $100! I'm so pissed I forgot to take pix of my first big night because I had a ball! I've done readings before, but not anything like this. This was the most brave I may have ever been about my tarot career. I'm still in shock. I have had the most f*kd up stomach flu so I haven't been back yet. But on Oct 30, 2011, (the birthday of my mother who would so not approve- tee-hee-hee!) I popped my tarot cherry LMFAO!

So my inner "Yeah But....." is all like, "well... what if that was just a fluke and you totally suck next time hmmm??"
So my I'm going to pull some cards to address that. I will use my Faulkner Tarot since all 3 peeps chose that one out of the 3 decks I had to choose from. (I just knew someone would want The Tarot of Vampyres on Halloween for Pete's sake, but nope)

This is so direct and to-the-point it's as ridiculous as I am about being such a chicken-shit LOL! We got 2 Major arcana and one face out of 3 cards. The elemental dignites are water/water/air. Which in this reading I'd say are perfect; intuition and emotions mixed with logic and communication. Bam.

1. How do I need to see myself as a professional reader now that I did this?- Queen of Cups- This is water of water. She is the nurturer, the compassionate woman who's intuition is almost always spot on. If you ever wanted a card to represent who you are with regard to anything in the psychic realm, other than the mighty High Priestess Herself, this is it!


2. What is blocking me from seeing myself that way?- The Hanged Man XII- The first thing that came to mind was the word " bullshittin'!" As in wasting time, hanging out, not being direct and waiting until I'm under the gun to do shit while I'm all stressed out. This card is ruled by Neptune. Many of us involved with the spiritual side of life tend to not be successful because we get stoned on the big pink smoke machine and glitter of the esoteric like a bunch of 1930's jazz musicians. We just float along and don't remember that time is money, so use one wisely and you will create more of the other one! --- Omg--- It's 00:10 and someone's alarm clock jsut went off, surely by accident, but while I am looking at this card! Talk about your wake up call! Wake up and get my shit together! Treat this as the real profession it is and not like a hobby to pass the time!

3. What card should I focus in whenever I start to doubt mySelf as a professional reader?                         The Magician I Ruled by Mercury, planet of speed and communication. Card that is the Godsmack of a golden opportunity. It says you have everything you need right at your hot little hands to create the result you want. Just focus, believe with every fiber of your being and make the shit happen. It means an amazing new job opportunity. I have amazing chemistry with people more often than not. I make them feel at ease and not judged and am very easy to talk to. I see the path and the bend in it. I don't know where this will take me, but if I don't keep moving I'll neer find out. And the brightness is almost like I'm really outside in the sunshine. There is the path, the boat, the bridge; this will all lead to numerous opportunities that far reach what my narrow vision can see right now. It will take work, but it will be SO worth it!

Follow If You've Been Down the Same Road

So I saw a post on Craigslist for an apartment. I had seen it last week but I dragged my feet and didn't act on it so I thought in my indecision it was gone. I saw it just now and was like, "wow...is this a second chance??" So I whipped out my Faulkner Tarot and did a 3 card. First row is the pros of taking it, the second is the cons:

Row 1: 9 of Swords, 3 of wands, 0 The Fool
....Ok...this is pretty damn clear...Hello Krysten!! 9ofSw is the nightmare card, and I had one last night. Taking this place will end the insane amount of stress that being in limbo is causing. The sleeplessness, the nightmares, the clenching my teeth which leads to my hair falling out of my damn head (lovely!) and the endless tape recording of thoughts reminding me of how fucked up things are. The graveyard scene on this card says to put those ghosts to rest. I'm not really living right now, just kinda existing, floating from place to place, like a ghost. The church window shows I need to go inside a safe place. (Like a permanent place of residence...ya think!) The 3ofW shows a deal has been made, there is a fair exchange. Funny, yesterday I kept hearing the phrase "fair exchange is no robbery". The Fool 0 is all about taking a risk. He has no fear, he makes the decision to take a leap of faith and he goes for what he wants. He has trust that his experience mixed with the love of the Universe will lead him down the right path. The bright sky and the rainbow stands out most to me-- good luck from out of the blue. I think the Fool also means a house move as the Brits say. The elemental dignities work great in this trio. Fire is flanked by two air cards. The fuel needed to take action, make decisions, is present to feed and strengthen my will.

Row 2: Page of Pentacles, Queen of Swords, The Chariot VII
Again, the glaringly obvious....the Page of P shown here is adorable little Lola in reality, but the cards are telling me that I know EXACTLY who she is in this reading...ME. My inner child! I'm supposed to be the QofP but I'm not acting like a mature, responsible adult,  but like the scared little girl who loves to get lost to fantasy, just like Lola in her princess gown and feather tierra as she hides from the world behind her wand. The wand also says I have exactly what it takes to create the magick I want to occur in my life, but like the Buddhist proverb says, "A sword in the hands of a coward is useless." Which is exactly what the QofSw is thinking as she looks back at the Page. The QofSw is a very bold, direct, balls-to-the-walls decisive woman. She cuts through the shit and keeps it moving! And The Chariot shows the back and forth time and time again I've been  doing will only continue. Hell, it literally shows it! Philly to New Orleans! The constant moving from pillow to post I've done the since last Nov! And when I think of elemental dignities, this poor QofSw is in utter hell in this position. She is trapped between earth that won't budge and water that is too wishy-washy! And together those two are just making mud!

Ok....time to call the guy about the place. And get over the fear of him thinking I'm a total flake and telling me to kiss off. Which is really just my Shadow sides opinion of me huh....

A Message From the Goddess Rhiannon

So I asked my guides and angels, "What do you want me to know right now?" (I am so sorry for the crappy picture! Scanner/printer gods, hear my plea! lol) Since I am supposed to have been at the gym, the first things that this says loud and clear is to get off my ass and put it on the EFX lol. I really do not like to exercise, but  the benefit can not be denied. Mental clarity as well as physical action, swords. This is the Goddess Rhiannon. So this is now telling me a couple of other things. First, I needed a refresher on Her, so I found some cool info at this site, http://www.goddessgift.com/goddess-myths/celtic_goddess_rhiannon.htm  The author summed Her story up like this: The story of the Celtic goddess Rhiannon reminds us of the healing power of humor, tears, and forgiveness.  The goddess Rhiannon is a goddess of movement and change who remains steadfast, comforting us in times of crisis and of loss.

I definitely am still in a time of crisis and lots of changes I need what's interesting is that when I did my morning prayers, I specifically focused on accepting and welcoming change and that needs to change with my thoughts and attitude. So a Swords card makes all the sense in the world and even more so this particular one now that I have learned even more about Rhiannon.

The other thing this says is that I need to pull out my Faulkner Tarot, which was actually gifted to me my Rhiannon Faulkner herself. I am planning to go to Washington DC this weekend to do some professional readings, please pray that scheduling goes off without a hitch so this can actually happen. It's a big step for my scaredy-cat ass, so wish my luck lol! I will make sure it is one of the decks I bring.  Also that I need to take her up on her offer to be an approved instructor for her deck.

Summer Solstice Reading 6/21/11

Today is the summer solstice, or as many would call it, Mid-Summer. It is the longest day of the year, when the sun is at its zenith, and marks the first day of summer. Mid-Summer has a lot of energy that goes with it. It is a great day to focus on healing, prosperity, relationships, fertility, finances and ways of creating happiness and joy. So I decided to ask the cards what message they have for me today.

I must say....not real pleased at first glance man! WTH?! Ok, lets take a closer look and see what to make of this.

9 of Swords, The High Priestess II, and the 5 of Swords
The E.D. are air/water/air, which to me makes fog. I will need to keep clear head and not let my emotions make me confused. A bit of a task for me ya know.

The only card that makes me feel any kind of positivity is the High Priestess, my favorite card of any deck. But next to these two janky cards, I just don't know! I think She is trying to tell me that I have GOT to follow my own path and stop stressing about what others think of me! My life, my choices, my call to make. I have to turn inward to find the way that is best for me. I have to learn to trust mySelf. 9ofSw is the nightmare card, and I kinda remember having a few the other night. 5ofSw is such a nasty card! And being next to the HP I wonder if it is a woman who is talking shit and causing dissension with regard to me. Unfortunately I can see where that is totally possible right now. It could also be my own mind. As the tag line for this blog says, "There are 5 chicks in my head and all of them have way too much to say. These are their stories." So it could be the nonstop chatter in my own mind that keeps me so stressed and in a state of fear and doubt. Uncle Al is attacking this poor man on the card. Is that just me attacking me?? And is it the 5ofSw in my head that is keeping my inner HP from being able to have a voice and show me the path to my own feminine power that I can never seem to stay on? Quite probable, but I drew one more card to see if I could get a bit more clarity, and the 8 of Cups came up and the 10 of Pentacles is on the bottom. This takes me back to the possible shit-talking female. I may be moving again and, and it may not be under the best conditions. 

8 of Cups, 10 of Pentacles 

Crap.

This is SO not anywhere near what I was expecting, but I guess the cards tell you what you need to know, whether you like it or not. 

NOT!!!

Something Wicked This Way Comes...

Well hell and damnation!!! I decided to ask the cards what does this next week hold for me and i get The Fool 0, The Tower XVI and the 5 of swords!!! WTF!??! In the same day I have managed to pull the damn 5ofSw twice! And to have it next to The Tower XVI is like gasoline to the fire! My eye was drawn to paper in the fireplace first. Are missing or destroyed documents in question? The one thing I must say about the way The Faulkner Tarot depicts this card is that it is at least a contained fire and does seem like total devastation. But that nasty, nasty 5ofSw makes me wonder what unpleasant and nasty surprise do I need to be aware of. Since The Fool 0 is here and the gypsy meaning for it is moving, I really pray it has nothing to do with my new residence. Either way, I will really pray for the protection and happiness of both me and my enemies in hopes of diffusing what looks to be something very ugly, mean, and nasty where no one will win and irreparable damage is done.

So now I have to ask: What can I do to prevent this or to protect myself?

The Wheel X, the 7 of swords, 3 of cups. I am drawn first to the center of The Wheel and think I want to look up Rhiannon's meaning of when that draws your attention first. It is the "good luck" card, yet its' right next to the nasty bad luck of the 7ofSw which is all about lies and thievery and cheating. I really do not like this because The Wheel is all about karma and how sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug and with that 7 next to it, it says to me my luck ain't so good and being the bug is beyond my control this week. And the woman pictured is walking under a ladder which we all know is complete bad luck! With the 3ofc next to that, the first thing that popped into  my head was "commitment", and next to the 7ofSw I'd say the end of one. Man I hope this room mate shit doesn't get even worse. The only way around this that i can see is to at least try to avoid any situations where I would be at risk and to be true to my commitment to my principles and to myself.

Going to See the Queen of Wands, the King of Pentacles, and 3 Princess of Pentacles today

LOL!! Well if this isn't crystal clear confirmation! I'm going in a few hours to see my g/f Jacqui and help her for a day while she has lasiks surgery. She is a Sag. She actuaclly has 3 daughters whom  I love and adore, and this cards meaning and the interpretation with Nathalie doing ten things at once is dead on lol! Her husband is a Virgo who drives a really sweet little sports car quite similar to the one on the card. She just told me about an amazing possible new bussisness opportunity for me that could be pretty profitable! I see myself getting off the dark island and going toward the end of that rainbow. 

Wake Up

As I was shuffling The Hierophant V jumped out. I immediately felt like it was the goddess Freya talking to me and telling to listen up.

The first thing I hear Her saying is from the 4 of Swords. Get off my ass and do something. And since the rest of the cards are all pentacles, it's about me making some damn money in spite of my back injuries. Pentacles are about money, but also health as well as tangible results. I see Jayne sitting at the table weighing out her money on the 7 of Pentacles. She's got coins, not dollars, kinda like me lol. But it's gonna take a hell of a lot more than some coins to get that house pictured on the 10 of Pentacles. (which oddly enough looks like Helen's house that I currently live in.) Which I so desperately want! I mean my own home. And a nice big house. Not because I want a big house just for the sake of saying I have a great big house. That just means more to clean! The only time I didn't have a room mate (damn did I learn to love that!)  was my apartment I had after Katrina forced me to leave my beloved New Orleans. It was a 450 sq ft little studio. After the big beautiful home I finally realized I was sharing with someone I SO needed to remove myself from, and then 8 months later losing my apartment I had moved to in New Orleans, my little tiny abode was heaven on earth. 3 of my friends were so wonderful and painted it for me in shades of purple and silver and I loved it. As tiny as it was everyone always commented on how warm and inviting it was, and also how safe it felt. I was a practicing witch at the time an had done some heavy magick to create that feel. So though it was a small little cheese box, it was a mansion to me. But I do want a sizable home, because I want to have enough room so that I can offer any of my friends and family a home when they are going through a major transition in life the way that people have done for me.  10's are about starting over, being in a transition, just as I currently am.  The 10ofP is also about leaving a legacy behind, something for posterity. Even though I am not a mom, according to Rhiannon's tarot readings I will be, God help me lol! At 39, I ain't seein' that!! But either way, I'd want to leave something for my loved ones.  But Freya is reminding me that if I don't get off my ass and do the hard work, I won't make that transition. There are so many earth cards that are trapping the air. Too stuck, to sedentary to allow ideas to flow. No fire means no energy, no drive (so sad, but so true). I think the lack of water cards means I need to feel more hope about my situation, maybe even more self love. Feel like I deserve to have the things in life that I want and need.

Freya says it's time to wake up.

*while I was in the middle of typing this earlier today, one of my dearest friends called me and told me of something going on in her life that is different from my situation but that these cards very strongly reflect. But she's a Queen of Swords, so nothing will keep her down for long lol.

Even though this song has a different meaning, it's what I heard in my head, and I going to start doing as my guides advise.

The Lovers VI

Derek Morgan: Good morning princess.
Penelope Garcia: [quickly says] Good morning.
[and keeps walking]
Derek Morgan: Pump, ya breaks.
[Derek beckones Penelope back to him]
Derek Morgan: Every day I say 'Good morning' and every morning you say 'I'll show you a good morning, hotstuff.' Everyday. But not today?
Penelope Garcia: I hate profilers. Do you know that?
Derek Morgan: Spit it out.
Penelope Garcia: ...Fine. I met a guy. 


I love to the tv show Criminal Minds. I've been known to watch 3 or 4 episodes back to back. I guess it comes from that need to know that there are people who work to keep the bad guys away. And I really love the characters. I remember seeing a deck of tarot cards online some years back where the creator used actors or people from the entertainment industry on the cards. So I decided to come up with a list of my own in order to help me connect with the cards on a more personal level. I had to start this with my favorite character of all on the show, Penelope Garcia. In fact, she is gonna be on at least two cards so far. Another of my favorite character is Derek Morgan. If you watch the show, you'll totally see how I chose them together for The Lovers VI card.

The Lovers card is about, well...love. It's also about choice. The love aspect is beautiful, wonderful passionate, romantic love. The choice aspect is one that must be made and is a huge decision that you face, and you feel quite passionately about it too. My two favorite characters on the show are so truly in love, it's like everything you ever (well, everything a least that I ever) dared hope for. They know each other so well, maybe even better than they know themselves. The connection of friendship between the two of them is so strong, the desire and passion is palpable! They trust each other implicitly and in their line of work as FBI agents who profile and track some of the most horrible criminals imaginable, that says a whole lot. The good times we share with people so often form our relationships, but the hard times are what can make them iron clad. These two have shared both extremes and the bond between them just keeps getting stronger. Yet they continuously make the choice to not act on what they feel and actually take things to the next level to an actual relationship. It drives me completely nuts but I can kinda understand why they choose what they do. There is so much at stake if they did choose to act on what they feel. Careers could be lost, maybe even lives. I feel pretty passionate about these characters, so I choose to keep watching them. I'll bet my bottom dollar that the producers of the show will choose to finally let them get together when the viewing audience no longer chooses it to be one of the top ranking shows on tv.

I've chosen to pull out The Lovers VI card from a few different decks I own and love to show some of the various interpretations of it.

Make a Wish

Ok, if I did have any followers, they'd be sick and tired of hearing about my damn room mate situation because at this point I know I am lol!

The 6 of Pentacles shows me the give and take in any relationship, and that I need to see that I give so much, even when I am in need. That a dollar sign can't be put on things of real value. I gave as much as I took. The Star is a house move in the gypsy meaning. Also shows how I have so many angles who always are looking out for me. I need to keep the faith and remain positive because things are working out to my advantage. And with that wishing well right next to a hand filled with coins, this is like it's screaming at me to make a wish and make it good because it's a guaranteed thing! And that 8 of cups is mean moving on out. I also just heard "don't take any emotional baggage with you."

Now this an odd twist. I was gonna be done with that, but I just looked at the 6ofPent and it's as if the coin was floating upward. I feel like an unexpected source of income is the meaning. And it's next to The Star....does all this mean Iwill hear something today about a new job?? Or about money for pro make-up school in Paris?? Or maybe my law suit being wrapped up so I can move and leave all of that baggage behind me?? When I remember that Doug from Tarot eon said that timing can often me judged from the card that really commands your attention, so does that mean it will be in 6 weeks from now??

And holy cow! The Sun is at the bottom of the deck!! Whatever this is all about, it sure is one positive reading! And with a2 out of 4 cards being major arcana, this seems to be pretty significant situation. Gonna have to keep my eyes peeled and my heart and mind open and gracious!

How can you not smile and be happy when you her this song??! LOL

The Fool, The Moon, and the 5 of Swords

Ok, so it's the end of the day, but here's what I got, and it's kinda funky to me. Especially since I went over to my old residence and got more of my belongings. Now I must say, things went FAR better than I anticipated. I guess we are supposed to just act like nothing ever happened and we are all hunky-dory....what the hell ever man. She is quite clearly fine with the decision she made to tell me I needed to find another place to stay. Over the phone. Initially in a text msg. While I was 800 miles away. Without the slightest provocation. (Or so she says. Obviously;  she was provoked.) I have been praying very hard to forgive, meaning to let the hurt go and not carry it around like a medal on my chest. But our friendship will never be the same.

So having said all that, the cards I got just now are as follows: The Fool 0, The Moon XVIII, and the 5 of Swords. WTH!? The Fool is all about new beginnings, a fresh start in life. And the gypsy meaning is "new home". Well we see the validity of that! The first thing my eye was drawn to was the dark little island. I see it and I feel cold and closed in and alone. It looks like I'm just trapped by all that water. And then to be next to The Moon? Not making me feel any better. You need to understand that The Moon has always been one of my two favorite cards in any deck (the other is the High Priestess II, and too has a very strong connection to the moon.) I've always loved the moon that sits up in the sky. For as long as I can remember I've felt compelled to stare and the moon, literally drawn to Her. I have done what is called "drawing down the moon." For those of you who don't know what that is, I can make another post at some point to explain it. (I talk like I actually have even one follower on this damn blog lol) For those of you who do, then you know how much I love and respect the Moon. But to see it placed next to The Fool and the fact that I didn't get a good vibe from that card is not making me feel the usual love I get from the sight of this card. Does The Fool next to The Moon mean "new beginning or start to uncovering the truth"??  To add insult to injury, the freakin' nasty nasty 5ofSw is the other card!!! Eewww!! Or maybe Yikes!! To quote Rhiannon, "the massive argument card. No winning with this one. People absolutely attacking each other and they look absolutely evil! There's no good side." The Moon in it's "darker" aspect is trickery, lies, deception, hidden truths, and just plumb crazy madness. I see Uncle Al on the 5ofSw and his cigarette hanging out of his mouth and I am instantly remembering the scene in the Clint Eastwood movie Grand Torino (absolutely one of the best movies I've ever seen!!!) where that horrid little asshole kid attacks and burns one of the main characters in the face with his cigarette. One of the basic points to the plot was how destructive and cruel racism is. This particular scene was not about racism, but about just being cruel and a horrible bully to hurt someone because they won't do something bad or wrong that you want them to do. I will have to keep this in my mental Roladex of interpretations of the 5ofSw because that is exactly what this card is all about.

This reading is showing me that my suspicions about the situation with my former roommate are dead on. There are 2 majors out of only 3 cards because this was a very major event in my life and I have a lot of lessons I am learning. Her boyfriend is in fact a racist and and bully. The bad or wrong thing he wanted her to do was to throw me out. They have had the physical altercations that are pictured in the card. They both smoke. He has dark hair, she has light. She and I would have a wonderful day together, then he'd come over, as he did every single day, and the entire tone of the house would change. I'd stay closed up in my room, her in hers, him out in the living room being all miserable. That's why I saw and felt what I did in The Fool card, and why it was time for me to get out of that dark, closed off place. And how she felt too. The Moon just confirms that his shady ass is that hidden element that is at the root of our friendship being so damaged. And believe me when I say that both the emotional and the physical issues are very much kept secret! No one really has any idea of how bad this situation really is between the two of them. Now that I am trying to see the card combination meaning, The Moon in a reading (and damn sure it it is next to!) the 5ofSw to me says emotionally abusive relationship all day long!!! And then you wanna have The Fool next to that! It makes that card go from a wonderful new thing to meaning actually "playing the fool".  And the 0 on the card makes me think of emptiness, worthlessness, no value, and a place holder. Like, "I'd rather have this worthless zero in my life as a place holder than to face the emptiness I feel from being alone."

So something made me go to the Tarot Eon blog.....

The bottom card is the 7 of Wands. This shows the stress of this messed up situation. It also shows how torn I am. The 7 of Wands is a card of valor and honor. Of standing up for what you know is right regardless of how difficult it may be. I am so torn. There is a huge part of me that still loves my old room mate dearly and wants to protect her. There is an even bigger part that has tried for a year and a half to protect her and help her to see the reality of her situation and numerous times she has let shown me with crystal clarity she is choosing to stay in this relationship at all costs. I did everything I could do, even to my own detriment. Maybe she feels the same way about me. All I can do now is hope she will make better choices. Somehow, I sadly do not think she will.

For the love of God; guess who just text me. Like it's just another day, telling me a funny little story, like nothing bad ever happened. You gotta be kidding me....

H.E.L.P. Spread

I was meditating this morning, something I never do, but know full well I should on the regular. I thought about how many people are always willing to help me throughout my life. Then I thought about the fact that I need to be more efficient at helping my damn self! Then I heard my guides tell help me form an acronym for the word "help". I chose the colour yellow because it represents caution and also the element of air. Caution should be used so your thought process doesn't become clouded and you loose sight of your own power. Too bad I have for so long. Might wanna do somethin' about that 'ay??....

H=Harness...What can I do to harness my own power?
E= Emotions... What emotion would best serve me?
L=  Leave... What or who do I need to leave behind in order to help my life move forward?
P= Problems... Since life will always have it's share of problems, what problems can I transform them into benefits and how??

1. 4 of Wands- Now the first impression I get is to laugh my ass off!!! Dude has his feet kicked up on the desk just chillin'! Now I'd have to say I need to do far less of this in order to get a good result. So let's figure this out.... The 4ofW is about celebration, 4's are about stability and structure, and wands are about energy, drive, passion, desire, and work. So...I guess I need to stop stressing and  relax from all that nervous, negative energy  I so often feel inside aka "anxiety". I guess all that damn worrying keeps me from using my energy and my time to recognize and be grateful for all the many blessings I do have. And from seeing the power I have. Or all the things I am good at, or would be if I would relax about  and stop thinking I'm not good at! So I can harness my power by just learning to relax! I mean hell, look at the socks Uncle Al has on in the picture! I never noticed those before LOL, but clearly they are the sign of a person who knows how to enjoy life and have some fun, regardless of whether he is at work or not.  I am a believer in The Law of Attraction (Buddhism without actually calling it that). If I keep harping on the things that make me stressed out, that's what I'll create more of. But if I can learn to calm down and kill the anxiety and put my energy into creating ways to create a life worth celebrating, then that's exactly what I will create.

2. King of Wands- Any emotion that makes me realize I can be successful and keeps me motivated and ready to do the hard work necessary to help myself. So I'd have to say hope and happiness.

3. 2 of Pentacles-Wow, this card says some really powerful stuff to me. Leave behind the mentality of poverty! That there is only a finite amount of wealth in the world as opposed to the limitless abundance available to anyone who taps into it and decides to access it. I see Uncle Al covering his face because he just got the NSF memo on his printed receipt. Ugh, God how that sux!!! I need to have a better relationship with money and finance. If I follow the advice I just got from the KofW I can earn the money I want and need. But I still need to learn to balance and create a budget.

4. 7 of Swords- Why is she looking down at the ground and why is she walking under this ladder in the first place?? I see the wall and I just heard Pink Floyd "we don't need no education. We don't need no forced control". Hold my head high, believe in myself and be more aware of my surroundings for starters. I also need to realize that life is one huge classroom, and we never finish or quit going to school. I've got to be more shrewed and take notice of the various tools I have at my disposal. They come in the very good disguise of problems. This card is the bad luck card. I've got to be aware of what situations I have around me, because with this card, Rhiannon says "it's a nasty card where people are talking about you behind your back and out to hurt you and doing nasty stuff to you, plotting against and backstabbing you. It's about lies and half-truths. People will be bold enough to even lie straight to your face!" It's funny because that is what I am currently going through these days. So I take from it that I have to realize there will always be negative situations and hurtful people. I have to get past the pain of those nasty swords and not let those people make me act the same way in retaliation because I am hurt or angry. To those who think the have power or authority over me because of that 2ofP message, all and all I am just another brick in the wall. They are just opportunities for me to see past the dark sarcasm in the classroom.

*in the explanation of the 7ofSw, there are a lot of lyrics to the song "Another Brick In the Wall" by Pink Floyd used as a means of interpreting the card. I also notice that once again there is an abundance of fire in this reading with a little bit of air and earth it needs to burn.

Full Moon Spread

I am so damn tired my eyelids are begging me to allow them to close, but I really want to try this spread I just found on the Tarot Dame's blog. She said she got it from Aclectic Tarot. I think I am just so excited b/c Rhiannon just messaged me to say she checked out the blog and was pleased and proud of my last post! Pretty freakin' cool to have the person who created the deck you used give you approval!!!! And since it is the last night of the full moon, I want to take the opportunity to use that energy.

Full Moon Spread

1. Moon Cycles: What old patterns am I still spinning around in?
Ace of Wands-- This is SO embarrassingly true! I get all hyped about something and all excited but don't ever finish shit! I look at the pyramids and see that i need to remember that to create anything of value and beauty takes a lot of follow-through and commitment. You can't just  get board or get disappointed or get lazy and just say screw it! There is always gonna be some bullshit to deal with is what the desert says to me. Conditions will sometimes be extreme and not working in my favor. A lot of hard work and sweat may be involved. But when I look at the green leaves sprouting out of the ahnk, it reminds me that I am the one to create new karma in my life. I have to stop getting caught up in negative thinking and seeing all the reasons why things won't work out, because that just creates the reality I don't want: things not working out! Bast is the goddess of cats. I have to stop with the victim mentality that is so unattractive and exhibit the confidence of a cat with 9 lives. I just got the image of a black cat walking along the top of a fence in the moonlight. He is confident he won't fall and if he does that he will land on his feet. Not taking advantage of the new creative opportunities I am given is such a lame pattern. And then I have nerve to wonder why I so often feel stuck! Ha!

2. Moon Magnetism: What am I attracted to?
Knight of Wands-- Big dreams and big time excitement that may be somewhat romanticized. I am attracted to being on the move, on the go and anything fun. The rainbow makes me think of "rainbow moments" which for met translated in to saying no when I need to. It just thought of how Susan said once that being grown is the ability to tell yourself no. There is no easy, quick fix in life. I've got to be more grounded and disciplined (note, there is not one earth card in the bunch!) in stead of flitting off to do what is more attractive and fun, yet not at all smart. Work first, then play.

3. Lunar Influences: How the moon affects me...
2 of Wands-- This seems kinda tricky to answer. I mean, I have always LOVED the moon and been so drawn to it. I used to stare at it when I'd say the Hail Mary as a child, having no idea about magick or The Goddess at that time. I see the boys fighting. Does the moon cause me to be more feisty?? Inner turmoil?? I just got the message that I need to block against psychic attacks. 2's are about choices, balance, decisions, equality. Wands are about passion, creativity, energy, drive. Am I more driven to create balance and choose to make decisions that create what I am passionate about?? I'm gonna have to study this one.

4. Old Man MOon: What in my past is returning?
7 of Wands-- Hopefully this means a fighting spirit that will never surrender to anything or one who will try to take away what is mine by intimidation or trickery. Or it can be the fact that I need to get my own place and the troubles surrounding all of that. I see the woman fighting with this guy, I feel like she knows him and he is trying to attack her so she has to defend herself and stand up for what's right. Or it can be depression I have to be so mindful of since it is so sneaky and tends to return in cycles.

5. Moon Dreams: What my subconscious wants to tell me....
6 of Cups-- Let go of old emotional baggage KrystenLOL!)

OMFG I AM SO PISSED!! I just wrote a ton of REALLY good stuff here and it has somehow managed to get erased!!!!!!!!!

I do at least remember that one thing was how much I miss being a F/A and I need to get on that shit.

6. Moon Reflections: Illusions and delusions
3 of Swords-- So this is about what is skewing me from seeing reality in a clear light. The first thing to jump out at me is the well in the background and it makes me think of The Star card in The Faulkner Tarot. That negative tape that goes off in my head of how bad things are or what heart aches I've had in the past keeps me from having hope and faith that no matter how unhappy I am or how jacked up things are, I have got to know that I am surrounded by angels who are constantly looking out for me, so do NOT get caught up in that hopeless mindset!! It's victim bullshit and it keeps me from living in the now because I'm so freaked out about the future because I'm still stuck on the past!! I see the three fates, and I am thinking of how I need to remember that fate is not set in stone. Our lives may be predestined, but our choices at every turn of our lives can change the course of our lives completely. I have to cut the cord to what keeps me living in the past or in a negative mindset. Because that's how I end up breaking my own heart.


Another thing I want to make note of is the E.D. There are 4 fire cards out of 6! There is 1 air, 1 cup and NO earth. To me this says that the air of the 3ofSw will encourage all that fire to keep me motivated and inspired. The one water card shows I am in an emotional place to a certain extent, but it is not controlling me or an unhealthy thing. The lack of earth clearly proves how up in the air my life is and how I so desperately want and need to be grounded, to heal my back, and to make some damn money!!!