I wanted to share a simple prayer/ritual I did petitioning blessings from Yemaya. Most of you are probably familiar with Chloe's wonderful blog Inner Whispers. Please do take a visit when you can. She usually features a different deck each week. Well tomorrow her eldest son, Big Boy is having a very complicated surgery. I've invoked the Orisha of maternal love and healing for complete success in this. To bless all of the hospital staff, surgeons, nurses, staff and that entire environment of the hospital as well. And for Chloe, her beloved and their young son who is braving this experience. I ask that anyone who reads this send positive energy as well. Big Boy has some on-going, serious health issues that demand constant care, so no matter when you're this, your prayers will be appropriate.
While praying, I had my Yemaya playlist on my iPad. There is sea salt around the candle, as she is the embodiment of the salt waters of the oceans of the world. The photograph behind the mermaid statue is underwater photography my cousin took whilst diving and met a sea turtle, which is one of the most perfect symbols for Yemaya giving their association with maternal instincts.
I used Ocean - Ebb and Flow from the Earth Magick Oracle. The Queen of Cups from the Universal Goddeess Tarot was created as Yemaya, an absolutely perfect choice for that card. I chose The Sun from Doreen Virtue's Angel Tarot Cards to represent complete healing, life giving energy and cause for celebration. It says Uriel, but I called on Raphael since he is my go to angel for healing. And the Ace of Swords from my Legacy of the Divine tarot. It tends to show up as surgery readings and it represents the courage it takes to go through challenging times that we most often would never sign up for but bring about great benfits.
So after I made the last post I tripped over an very powerful video. About 2 min into it I almost turned it off. The woman presenting this Ted Talk, Mel Robbins, was seriously rubbing me the wrong way. My mind was coming up with a lot of judgements about her, many of which may or may not be true, but I'm so glad I realized that silly shit was irrelevant to the amazing knowledge she was sharing. She is as Queen of Swords as anyone I've ever seen. She is a public speaker and blogger, criminal attorney, mother of three, wife and relationship and career expert. (You can see why I decided to tell my critical board member in my brain to go play in traffic) She is an extremely direct, curt, to the point, in your face, unapologetic woman of action. I'm lucky to have found her powerful voice that cuts through the bullshit and tells it like it is. The next time I say "I'm fine" I'll see this outspoken blonde and hear her words, "...get outta your head! You would not hang out with people who talk to you thway you talk to yourself!" How synchronistic the Universe sent me this after what I just posted! I hope this helps any of you who check it out.
This morning's card from my Earth Magick Oracle was Island - Solitude. It's kinda perfect because yesterday marked the very first day I've been all alone since... Holy fucking sheep shit. Since May 30. OH MY FUCKING GOD IVE NOT BEEN BY MYSELF SINCE MAY 30?!?! 7 WEEKS TO THE DAY OF CONSTANT INTERACTION WITH OTHERS EVERY SINGLE DAY??! Sweet Jesus it's a wonder I'm not in a mental institution with Haldol running through an IV drip! I had no idea it'd been this long. As an empath that's some very dangerous behavior! No wonder I've been depressed and anxious and had extreme back pain, sleepless nights and feelings of impending doom! I've got all of my own shit plus that of all the people around me that I'm absorbing NON STOP. Leaving NOLA was traumatic and that day was so fucking painful and stressful I had a total melt down. Then got in a car to drive 16 hours up to Chicago because my wife's (my best friend Michaelle) father died. Oh to hell with it, I'm not going to rehash all the details. It was some bullshit. It also was wonderful because it made me, Michaelle and our friend Wendy even closer. But then I had to fly to Philly to deal with some extremely stressful things within a 9 hour period and then get on a flight to London, followed by a 3 1/2 hour bus ride. I'm here visiting my amazing friend Karen. Her 14 yr old lives here, and for the first 6 weeks of my stay, her 21 yr old son and his girlfriend (lovely people!) lived here as well. Then I find out my dog died. Jesus on a bicycle.
All I can say is, did you ever see the movie Falling Down by Michael Douglas? I deserve a fucking medal for not going on a mass killing spree. And a cookie. From the Double Tree! In Paris! While wearing a pair of boots by Lanvin! Preferably these:
So last week the older two moved out and into a fantastic new home. And Sunday Karen and the youngest went on vacation to Thialand. So this is the second day in approximately 51 days that I've been alone. Mother of God.
This card shows a green expanse of solitary land. Some parts are a smooth carpet of moss-like grass, others are rock formations that form a peak leading to the night sky. The island is surrounded by a body of water that is as perfectly smooth and still as polished glass, reflecting the land and the sky. One side of the island is shrouded in darkness, the other in light because a large portion of the sky is covered by ominous dark clouds. Yet from the opposite side of the sky a silent veil of moonlight casts an ethereal glow. In the center of the island is a single tree. It looks like a mighty oak, but it has a gorgeous canopy of amethyst blooms. There is nothing at all scary of loney about this image, just the beauty of peaceful stillness. This tree has been left unattended by humans and it thrives. The purple flowers make me think of the crown and third eye chakras. The moonlight makes me understand the importance of quite reflection as it shines through the dense stagnation and congestion of the thick clouds and onto the pristine water.
I decide to do something I've been feeling pulled to do since I worked with Kiki as my life coach (God I miss her!) but have not done. I have taken a vow of silence today. At least until 6PM. If you know me, you know what a challenge this is LOL! Now since there is nobody here but the three cats, it sound super easy. But it's been four hours now, and doing this with purpose has a very different feel to it. A very good feel. And Goddess knows I am that crazy bitch who freely talks to herself and the cats lol!
I intended to ask tarot why card will help me and then do a shuffle to specifically ask which of the court cards would be whispering messages to my mind. Two cards fell out, one a court card. The 5 and Page of Swords. Damn. "Extreme negative self-talk" is what I instantly heard. The ultra critical self-destructive voice of ego that is nothing more than a fucking bully who points out everything I'm doing wrong, have done wrong, will do wrong, how fucked up things are and always will be. "You type too damn slow! You need to start making some money. You still haven't called your mother in a week? You've gained damn near 10lbs ya know. You should walk today, but you probably won't." Yada yada fucking yada.
This very direct Pg of Sw, giving his completely unaffected stare, offers me a choice delivered on a lapis lazuli colored cushion (pausing now to go get that stone and keep it with me today...) Continue listening to that shit or not. We can't kill off that member of the board of directors in our dome, but we can tune him out by tuning into more positive voices. I'm finding out how to do that by so many of the YouTube channels I subscribe to a few of which include anything by Abraham-Hicks and Tony Robbins. Another way is yoga each day for the past 8 days. I also will start reading a book one of my new British friends let me borrow that addresses this issue and teaches how to manage it. The air aspect of both cards also address the thoughts I've had about looking up videos on breathing exercise and mindfullness. I wonder if I communicate telepathically with any of the cats??
In the immortal words of one of my favorite bands, Depeche Mode:
I'm currently in the UK on an extended stay. I'm so fortunate to be able to have this opportunity. I've met some wonderful people and gotten a chance to do some very cool things. In spite of that, I've been pretty far down in the dumps lately due to my dog Selene transitioning to the next existence only two weeks after my arrival. That has caused the ongoing issue of back pain to be exacerbated. It's been hard for me to find any motivation which feeds the depression and anxiety. Ugh. Then enter the guilt of being a house guest trying to fake happiness. Just some really low vibration bullshit, ya know. But I've been trying to raise it in a variety of ways. The yoga is helping a LOT. I've been doing an oracle card each day and today I got New Moon - Promise.
We see a couple sitting arm-in-arm on a bench watching the sunset and give off the last of its vibrant golden rays. As it melts into a large river or lake, hues of pink-ish lavender introduce the coming of twilight and allow the silver sliver of the Goddess in Her new moon phase and the tineist point of light of the evening star which is actually the planet Venus, goddess of love and beauty. The new moon is a time to start new projects, to put our energy into any new ideas or old ones we haven't done anything about but still feel drawn to. A lunar cycle is 28 days. This makes me think of the 30 Day Yoga and Plank Chalenges I've started already. There are a couple more that I'm drawn to and this tells me to go for those as well. Each of these challenges are like promises I make to honor and assist myself each day, and they promise to bring about results. As I write this it is during the waning moon, so the new moon won't be until next Monday the 29th. Which is funny because the following day I will be catching the train to spend a week in the seaside town of Mevagissey, so a new journey to visit new friends ushered in by the new moon sounds like this promises to be a good experience. I really like how the creator of this deck, Steven Farmer explains the meaning of the new moon's promise:
I also asked the tarot which card would help me to feel encouraged and inspired today. It gave me the Page of Cups (Legacy of the Divine by U.S Games) If I write out the lessons for the lessons for the King and Queen of Cups today, I will have finished the majors, wands and cups suits. That will make me feel a sense of accomplishment. I also heard in my head to be open and accept any loving messages, allow them to brighten my day and inspire me. Be gentle with my inner 7 yr old, she's super sensitive. Judging that fact will be toxic. Today needs to be all about the love and be open to receiving it.
I go down to the kitchen and there is a bee, just hanging out in the sink. I feel the presence of Oshun. The bee floats over by me. I put on my YouTube playlist of songs the honor her. The bee makes a few circles and then I thank it and gently escort it out the window. Wow. A message, from the spirit who is the Orisha of love and beauty. She is also over prosperity, abundance, laughter, music and dance. One of her sacred symbols is the river.
*green tea, honey, citrine crystals and a gris-gris bag my friend Ren made before I left New Orleans*
If you are interested in learning more about Oshun, I invite you to check out this gentelman's podcast on BlogTalk radio. A wealth of information! I'd only heard excerpts before, but today listing to the entire thing, I learn how he explains the connection between Oshun, Aphrodite, Venus and Laxshmi (who I am so be,see as to have come to me and offer her assistance as well last week!) Of the many things he speaks on, he introduced me to laughter yoga. Who knew!?
As I started to type this post, the most perfect song ever came on. It's an old 80's tune I love, Shout To the Top. I never really paid attention to the lyrics until today. The music is the happiest that speaks to exactly where my spirit is today and where I want it to be. So before I could write this, I decided to stop and honor mySelf and Oshun by dancing and sing it like my life depended on it. Damn did it make me laugh and feel better! I'm most appreciative she made me turn on the radio app only a few moments before hand.
Shout To The Top Lyrics
from The Sound of the Style Council
I was half in mind, I was half in need
And as the rain came down
I dropped to my knees and I prayed
I said, "Oh heavenly thing, please cleanse my soul
Ive seen all on offer and Im not impressed at all"
I was halfway home, I was half insane
And every shop window I looked in just looked the same
I said, "Now send me a sign to save my life
Cause at this moment in time there is nothing certain in
These days of mine"
Ysee its a frightening thing when it dawns upon you
That I know as much as the day I was born
And though I wasnt asked, I might as well stay
And promise myself each and every day
That when youre knocked on your back and your lifes a flop
And when youre down on the bottom theres nothing else
But to shout to the top, well we're gonna shout to the top
We're gonna shout to the top, we're gonna shout to the top
Hey, we're gonna shout to the top
Ysee its a frightening thing when it dawns upon you
That I know as much as the day I was born
And though I wasnt asked, I might as well stay
And promise myself each and every day
We're gonna shout to the top, shout
We're gonna shout to the top, shout
We're gonna shout to the top, shout
We're gonna shout to the top, shout
We're gonna shout to the top, shout
We're gonna shout to the top, shout
So when youre knocked on your back and your lifes a flop
And when youre down on the bottom theres nothing else
But to shout to the top, well, we're gonna shout to the top
We're gonna shout to the top, we're gonna shout to the top
And when youre knocked on your back and your lifes a flop
And when youre down on the bottom theres nothing else
But to shout to the top, we're gonna shout to the top
We're gonna shout to the top, we're gonna shout to the top
I spent the day in London Saturday. I asked my guides to just lead me to wherever I was supposed to go. I found myself in an accupunturist's office by the end of the of the evening. I felt like hell and was in so much pain it was ridiculous. Given the past 7 years of working toward healing 9 damaged disks in my spine, please understand how much trust this took!!! In mySelf, my guides and Dr. Wang, who I just randomly found. Long story short, it was a very positive experience. Of the many things he advised me to do was to go back to yoga everyday. (Because my intuition, my former trainer and dear friend who did SO much to bring me healing over th years, and the tarot had never suggested the importance of this...) I knew beyond a doubt I'd get the 10 of wands/swords/the Hanged Man. Here is how this will benefit me.
Mind - 6 of wands - Those neurotransmitters will start firing properly and I can tell my old buddy Depression and Anxiety to miss where the sun don't shine! I will have more clarity and confidence and see myself as the amazing woman I am. Go me.
Body - Magician - (I chose to place this card at the bottom.) I will feel so much stronger and physically adept. This speaks to the mind/body/spirit/heart connection that Eastern philosophy addresses. To treat the entire being, unlike how in Western medicine the focus is symptomatic treatment which is so fucking foolish. But that generates more $,€, and £ baby. I think this card shows I'm in very capable hands with Dr. Wang. I am excited to be able to show him that I've progressed when I return next month.
Soul - The Empress III - (placed in the middle, where my soul is) My central focus needs to be on self-care. I have such a tendency to nurture everyone else but me. I'm instantly drawn to the swan and her cygnet. I had an amazing experience this past Sunday where I got to see Her Magesty's Royal Swan Warden tag swans! The purpose is to asses the health of the swans and ensure their population increases. They are gorgeous creatures and extremely protective of their young. Witnessing this was pure medicine for my soul. And yoga will be as well.
Bottom line - 10 of wands - Lol, and there it is. One of my primary indicators of back pain and accupressure. being a wand this shows me that yoga will help aliviate stress due to the fact that I feel the weight of the world is upon me most days. I'll be getting my energy/qui moving and feel far less lethargic and more revitalized.
Here is the nice YouTube lady I chose to follow for the 30 day yoga if you'd like to try it as well and a video on proper form for planking.
I've been considering teaching a tarot course for a very long time. I asked the cards today about that.
1.General energy surrounding the matter - 7 of pentacles - I've been waiting a long time to see this through and actually manifest as a reality and the time is nigh. I've been through a whole lot of shit, but that will only make the course that much more well-rounded, informative and meaningful to myself and my students. This has the potential to profitable, though it may be a bit slow going initially. Don't give up! It will also lead to numerous other opportunities I can't yet see. Don't be upset with myself for not doing it sooner, it'll prove worth the wait. But it's time to roll up my sleeves, put actual time and planning and do the work necessary to get the result I want. The rewards will not just be financial gain, but a sting sense of pride and accomplishment. (I started working on the course this afternoon *smile*)
2. Why should I do it? - 9 of pentacles - Self. Sufficient. Woman! This completely Amen's everything the 7ofP just said with neon. I'm also getting that my spirits are poised and ready to assist me.
3. Why I shouldn't do it? - The Star XVII - Not one good reason not to! So tell the voice of self doubt that is so ready to point out all may flaws and past failures to kiss where the sun don't shine! I have so many angles surrounding me and supporting me it's ridiculous. If I don't do this, I'll be doing such a great dis-service to mySelf as well as others exponentially. Touching touching people's lives through tarot is my dream, my passion. I have the potentially to be every bit as successful, inspirational, and healing as the people I most admire. My fear has always been that it would take a miracle - well here it is delivered with sparkling pixie dust and the assistance of an entire Legion. I also see this as confirmation that I will incorporate what I am learning through my crystal healing course I'm taking from Hibiscus Moon and yet further confirmation that I am to take an angel healing course (Doreen Virture?? Mayyybe. Maybe through someone else. Either way, do it.)
I pulled a card from my Earth Magic Oracle by Dr. Steven Farmer to ask how I can best tap into the energies and desires above. I got Meadow. I'll let the pictures from tonight's walk explain how the Universe provided an opportunity to do so.
Tonight's card is just ultra fucked up given the news I received a few days ago.
I'm in the UK for a few months. I made went to great lengths to make sure my dog was well cared for while I'm gone. Long story short, I found out she hung herself. How you ask? Good question. Because that would mean I'd know why the fuck she was outside in the summer in New Orleans in the first damn place after making it abundantly clear she could not be since she has a thick, all black coat. And more over, why in the hell was she on a got damn leash, tied up when she has two very large backyards to fun and play in since my neighbor opened the fence between our yards!? I don't feel like talking about it at all, so I won't go into anymore detail except to say that I had my ex boyfriend who is still a very close friend (if you follow this blog, yes, Joshua and I are great friends lmao. Whoda thunkit!?) go around to check on her since my neighbor was ignoring my phone calls. In the middle of lying saying she was fine, another neighbor comes up and says, "yeah, that's so messed up that dog hung herself".
So this card, The Hanged Man XII, that I've never had a hard time with is now what the Devil and the Tower once used to be for me, a the worst card in the deck to get. Right now it reads like the two of them plus the 9 of swords, 10 of swords, 3 of swords, Judgement and Death. I want the rename it "The Hanged Innocent Belgian Shepherd" . I see the coins falling out of his hand. I've lost something more precious than gold. I thought she was in safe hands. Nope. She's in the ground and the afterlife. I pray she can forgive me. And that I can too.
We're back! Damn, when I fall off, I fall OFF!!! Six months to the day! Anyway, let's just get to the point. If you don't follow the girls who do the Tarot Blog Hop, you may want to check it out. I haven't participated in a long time, but I still support them. They do posts based on the Celtic Wheel of the Year. Today is Litha or Midsummer, the longest day of the year when the sun shines the longest it will the entire year. The topic for the hop was "How can I bring more joy into my life?" It's so weird to have the words joy and tarot in the same sentence and not have Arwen saying it lol!
This is a damn good question since I just found out 3 days ago that the "safe, responsible, reliable" neighbor I left my beloved 1 1/2 year old Belgian Shepherd Selene with wasn't such a good choice. I've been gone two weeks. She's dead. I have no words to explain what I feel. Before I start throwing things and crying uncontrollably, I'll leave that topic alone.
So here's shag tarot has to say about how I can find some joy. Although I kinda feel like saying fuck joy and anything to do with it. *sigh*
1. Where can I find joy? - Queen of Cups - By the sea. I'm currently in the UK, close to the coast, and have already been to the water and will spend a week there soon. What's funny is I haven't used this deck in over two years and it is one of the ones I brought with me from he US. And it is the one I brought when I wentt to the beach a few weeks ago. And guess which card I took pictures of lol. I felt so much LaSirene energy and I have heard her gently whisper in my ear today. And here she is. I also feel like this her reminding me of how much joy music brings me, but as I look at the fish, that she wants me to dance. I stopped my morning therapy of listening and dancing to Pharelle's "Happy" at least three times first thing in the morning. Need to get back to that This is also a reminded to meditate.
2. What will help me to find joy? - Page of Swords- As I was shuffling I hear "the anise is by writing/blogging" and here we have a true representation of communication and done in a very raw, speak with no filter kind of a way. And that is the whole point of this blog. I created it as a place where I can speak from a place that is unfiltered and raw. That's why I do nothing at all to promote it. I don't want to be concerned about what I say or who it will affect. It's my haven to say what the fuck I want of need to. It's how I cleaf my head. Very swords-like indeed.
As I look at this boy offering me two swords presented on a beautiful cobalt cushion, one silver the other gold, I'm reminded that happiness IS a choice. Is a difficult one as of late, but I know what happens if I choice not to actively pursue it. It ain't pretty.
3. What will hold me back from it? - Strenght VIII - Ha, this was the very last card that I drew when shit just got ridiculously crazy and I stopped posting. I'll need to go back and see what it had to say back then.
This card has so much solar energy to it, it's Leo. Not recognizing just how strong I am, how much shit I've dealt with and overcome and not giving mySelf credit for diminishes my power. I need to channel Leo energy that radiates pride, confidence. Think Mick Jagger, Lucille Ball and President Obama and his pimp-ass walk. Stop thinking small, embrace feminine, feline power like on the card.
As I'm typing this I guess I got confirmation as sun-colored feline jumped on the cards lol. Meet Ozzy who is a love! Cats. No shame lol!
It seems the royal family of Swords wants a bit more publicity. Last time it was the Queen and tonight we have the King of Swords as our "Person of the Week". The KofSw is an intellectual who tends to see life in very black and white terms. His approach is very logical, so forming emotional connections can be a bit of a challenge. Think Dr. Spock. If you want someone to wipe your tears or listen while you give a long narrative with regard to how you feel, this is not the guy you want to talk to. If you want things done methodically and with precision, he's your man. The downside is he may be a pompous ass with a God complex who believes the rules apply to everyone but him. The upside is since he prides himself in being the the shit, you can bet your ass he has the chops to back it up. As a matter of fact, when the pressure is on, this is the guy you want running the show. He's a natural born authority figure and his ability to be logical, impartial and take decisive action quickly in situations where there is no margin for error earn him respect from others every time. This is the guy that will make make you say, "What a dick!" But as a former flight attend, I have to admit he's also the guy you want when you have hydraulic failure at 35K feet.
Astrologically the KofSw is associated with Aquarius, Libra, and Gemini. Though he may not be an air sign, he has those qualities. This is a man who cannot sit still. They literally have to have both their bodies and brains active. They tend to be walkers or joggers and always have a book within reach. He most likely graduated top of his class. NatGeo, Discovery and Science Channel are their first choice on the tube. Career wise, these guys come up in readings as doctors, attorneys, pilots, surgeons, politicians or Soldiers, Air Force in particular. They are always the ones who come most highly recommended in their field.
If this King shows up in a reading either look for a person with these qualities or this is the kind of approach you need to bring to the situation in order to get clarity.
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