No Rain On My Birthday Eve

Today is Dec 24th. Tomorrow is my birthday. I really wish I was more excited about this. Right now, I really am not.

I decided to do two birthday spreads. This first one in this post I found on a ladies blog from a Google search with those two key words.

1. Body and Health - 6 of wands- The butterflies coming from under her hat remind me of how I have been thinking of the transformation I have made with regard to the issues with my back. I really believe that transforming my mindset has gonna very long way in my healing it. And look at how happy she is, feeling on top of the world and proud of what she has done or overcome. This card is telling me that my ass needs to get back on the workout wagon! It gives me so much more energy and vitality. It seems it will be very important to me accomplishing the things I want to, starting with feeling accomplished lol!

2. Mind and Intellect - 3 of swords - I have had several very painful experiences that broke my heart this past year with regard to friendships. But I see how big the person's heart is on the card and that he still shows it proudly. Though he guards it a bit, he is has by no means locked it away. He put a Band-Aide on the wound, but that's not what he is focused on, nor the three swords. He is focused on the three candles. To me they are faith, hope and clarity. His skirts look like a patchwork quilt. My experiences are all what make up the fabric of my life. Some positive, some crappy, but all serve a purpose. I have a bit more healing to do, and the quilt also says to me that I need to  do a bit more work on taking care of and nurturing mySelf. His somber countenance reminds me that though I do a very good job at keeping the daemon of depression at bay, I need to be sure to keep my thoughts positive. Thoughts become words, become actions. become results. Free ya mind, ya ass'll  follow.

3. Heart and Relationships - The Empress III- This is such a lovely version of this card. I notice that there is a lot of green - healing and growth. And being the archetype of the mother, this makes all the sense in the world to me give the situation with my mother and the healing that is slowly taking place with us. The little blue eggs in the nest on her head make me think of my precious little 7 month old cousin Kade. I have never really liked babies. Sorry if that sounds mean or harsh, but I don't. Too much hollering and pooping but other than that, what do they do? Who are they? But this kid won every inch of my heart! He has changed my mind a lot about babies in general. More specifically about me wanting one (?!?!?? yikes!) In terms of the future, does this mean that I will have one within the next year?? If I'm gonna do it it damn sure needs to be soon! At 09:45- exactly 7 hours to the minute from now, I shall be 40.  I ain't no spring chicken LOL! And I just love the skulls on her dress!  So me! Reminds me of this site I tripped over called Baby Goth. OMG!! The coolest kids clothes ever man!

4. Spirit and Evolution - Page of Wands- I freakin' love this interpretation of the PofW! He is happy as a clam! (or a happy bunny) and wants to announce it to the world! I need to remember that HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE. I have been hearing that phrase in my head for several days now. Even though I have always been a very optimistic, 1/2 full kinda gal, I have fought depression for a long time. Again this shows that I need to be mindful of my thoughts and take action to work toward things that will bring me true joy, not subjective happiness. This bunny is doesn't give a poop what anyone thinks! He totally makes me think of one of my favorite videos ever with little girl is in the bumble-bee costume and is searching for other bees like her. I can never remain down after I see that video! He is telling me to live for mySelf and inevitably others will   benefit and be happy. He wants me to be excited about life and get out and experience it! This is Phase II! Stop  bullshittin' and do all the thongs my souls is crying out for me to do and experience. There is NO MORE TIME LEFT TO GIVE IN TO FEAR! Glad I  took the financial risk and bought those flight lessons for my birthday. This bunny rabbit totally took flight lessons! Skydiving too! And he is not afraid to toot his own horn. Self confidence is not being pompous. It is pride in ones acquired wisdom---- where the hell did that come from LOL!? No idea, but I like it!

5. Special Birthday Wish from The Goddess - 10 of wands- Wowwww. She said, put my burdens down! Stop giving myself more work by stressing and working harder not smarter. That way I won't be so overwhelmed and fearful of living life to the fullest. She is also saying that I need to learn to say "No." much more often. And stop feeling driven to explain why all the time. Just politely but simply, "No." I take on too much, don't have a plan, and get burned out. Stop that She says.


I am really liking the Joie de Vivre tarot more and more. It had just the right blend of honesty mixed with its gentility that I need today on Christmas/My Birthday Eve.

For Chloe It's Sixx A.M.

I have been in love with Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue for about 25+ years. But the more I learn about him, the more I love him. One of the many things that makes me hold him in such high regard is his passion for helping teenagers who are suffering,  run-aways in particular. In 2008 he founded a charity that works with Covenant House called Running Wild In the Night. They provide everything from legal services to drug treatment to transitional living services, as well as  a music program since that was his primary outlet as a troubled kid. Having been a run-away himself he is all about being an advocate for any child who is in trouble or suffering.

So when I was puttzing around on FB today I saw a post he made of a video a very special young lady made on YouTube for the song that his side project Sixx A.M. wrote titled " Skin". She touched his heart and many others in a very deep place. I could go on for days about the songs that Sixx A.M. creates and how deep and meaningful the lyrics are, (I may have to do anther post in him/them...) and this song is definitely no exception. I am still, (yes even after all of the media attention) completely shocked with this whole bulling situation in our society. Have there always been bullies, of course. But what is happening today is just beyond anything I can ever remember seeing.

For years he was the quintessential Knight of Wands; hot, sexy, wild ,crazy, animated, the life of the party and totally fearless dare-devil. Also for his amazing business skills. .But Nikki has well and truly grown into the title of King of Wands For one, he is a Sagittarius. (what is it about Sag men that drives me wild!? Oh yeah... Everything! lol). He still lives his life with such a lust for it.  He is very charming, and on Dec 11 he will turn 55 and his ass is just as sexxxy as it was in 1987! He is passionate about everything he does, but like every Sag I have every known, he is passionate beyond words about protecting kids and making sure they feel loved. I swear the more I know about him the more I love him. 

So I am posting two videos for the same song. I want to share with you this video that this precious little girl named Chloe made and sent to him as well as a video that someone else created to speak out against children being harassed and bullied. I will warn you, both are absolute tear jerkers, so you may want to know that before you watch them. But I am creating this post because this has got to stop. Awareness is the first step. And I want to make sure that children who are victims, especially little Chloe who was so raw and honest and courageous in making this video, get heard. She is truly an inspiring little girl. I see her as the Page of Wands, a fearless little leader who is full of potential and has a mischievous spark in her bright eyes and and the power to create much needed change. My heart is sending you so much love and healing sweetheart.

 *Yes, it is the same song. I am intentionally posting two videos of the same song because each one is so powerful and special, as are the lyrics*

Relationship Reading: Chuck and Sparkle

A friend asked me for a reading on a love interest. I decided to try Rhiannon's relationship spread using her deck the Faulkner Tarot. She has a fabulous YouTube video on how to do it. This spread involves a lot of cards, 16 of them. I had a hard time trying to figure out how I was going to take picture of the cards. Should I break it up with several pictures in groups? I chose not to and to do a shot of the entire spread so we could actually see the cool way she lays the cards out. I just put it in the middle of the reading. If you click on the picture it will enlarge it so you can see the cards in more detail.

1-3. What does Sparkle bring into the relationship? Well, all three cards are swords, so right off the bat that tells me that Sparkle is very stressed about realtionships and that she may need to work on her communication skills. Perhaps she can be a bit cold or use her words as weapons. First card is the 9 of swords- aka "the nightmare card" which reiterates the stress and often times actual nightmares. Being right next to Justice XI this shows her recent divorce is still very fresh in her mind. It seems she was in a relationship that was extremly painful and her heart is still very heavy. Next to it is the 4 of swords, the card that says you need to rest and take care of yourself. All together, this group is telling me that she needs to take time to heal from a whole lot of nasty shit from the past that still haunts her. Letting go of old ghosts that still haunt her. Everything is energy and the energy of her past relationship or her ex is still clinging to her spirit, which makes all the sense in the world. Even though we know it's best to leave a situation it doesn't take away the pain. Right now, I see her bringing a lot of old wounds and a need for self-care and nurturing. It's great to see she has learned to set boundaries, but I fear she has set up walls.

3-6. What Chuck brings to the reationship? He seems to bring a lot more emotion and openness than Sparkle, but he still has his own apprehention and fear. The first card is the 3 of cups. I think Chuck wants a good healthy relationship, commitment, something where he feels safe and supported, but also fun and happy times they can share together. The next card, the Ace of Swords, shows he is still scared a bit shitless but wants to take the plunge, break out of his comfort zone. Is he afraid of loosing his personal freedom if he gets into a relationship? And this next card is the Queen of Cups. Who is she? Is she the woman from his past who may have been emotionally manipulative? Did she not treat him as an equal or does he have some "mamma's boy" tendencies?

7. How Sparkle sees Chuck- Page of wands- Chuck seems like his ass is a whole lot of fun! She sees him as wild, adventurous, and sexy as hell! Chuck really makes her all tingly in naughty places lol! She sees him as a break from the monotony of life and a fresh new start.

8. How Chuck sees Sparkle- 6 of Swords- This makes me think that the Qof C we jsut saw is someone from his past. He sees Sparkle as moving on to a less stressful time. Someone he can do fun and romatic things and who will appreciate him for it. But he also sees her as hiding something. He sees that wall she has up.

9. How did Sparkle first see Chuck? When they first met, what did she think? - The Hanged Man XII- She saw him as a very strong possibility she wanted to pursue, but she saw his apprehention, his need to take things slowly and in his own time. I like how this shows that she has learned from her past to see a person as they are, not who she wants them to be.

10. How did Chuck see Sparkle when they first met?- 2 of pentacles- He saw her stress and trying to find her footing and balance in her life. He saw she needs to take things slowly as well. I also think he saw that she is the type of person who is such a giver and that she gave so much of herself in the past yet never had it balanced out with recieving from her ex that she is just tapped out at the moment and needs to continue working on her own needs. I like that, it shows he thinks about others and not only himself.

11. What are Sparkle's fears that could block this relationship? 9 of pentacles- Well Chuck ain't the only one who fears loosing his independence huh. The 9ofP is all about someone who has worked long and hard to get to wear they are. A person who has learned to love themselves and is very independant. They like the company of others, yes, but they do not need anyone else! Her fear of loosing herself in the relationship in another person could block thngs.

12. What are Chuck's fears?- Knight of Cups- I think he fears getting all caught up in the romance of it and I also think he fears rejection. Is there a shy aspect of Chuck? Or is it again that QofC from his past who kicked his ass emotionally and made him insecure? This man needs a lot of emotional reassurance.

13. Outside influences in Sparkle's world- The Lovers VI- I feel this goes back to her divorce since this card often has to do with marriage. It also has to do with choices and balancing the head with the heart. Are there issues other than the ones already mentioned that are major choices in Sparkle's world that are making her have to choose what road to take?

14. Outside influences in Chuck's world? The Knight of Pentacles- Is work or money making and planning for the future in a slow methodical way a major factor in his world that would infuence him? Or does he see that this relationship would be a lot of hard work and he is trying to go very slowly to see if it's worth it. Not in a cruel way or that he is seeing Sparkle in a negative light, just a mature assement of of his life and what is best.

15. Outcome- 5 of swords- I hate to say it, but I have to be honest in my readings. The 5ofSw is just a nasty card that really doesn't have a good side to it. I see the two of them just rubbing eachother the wrong way and things getting nasty and stressful, bringing out the worst and not the best in each other. The 5ofSw is about gossip, and shit-talkin', and empty victories. Shit hits the fan and the gloves come off and people fight unfairly.

16. So I jsut had to check another card to see if there was anything else we could find out. I did the card at the bottom of the deck which sums it all up, the bottom line of it all.--Damn... 10 of Swords. I hate like hell to say it, but it does not look very promising to say the least for this relationship. 10ofSw is another one of the most nasty cards in the deck. It shows starting over, but from a place of a lot of pain and stress and emptiness. Which I guess kind of comes full circle from the first cards we laid out to begin with.

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Light a Fire Under My Ass

So I've got a major dilemma and very, very little time to figure it out. So I decided to keep it simple for once, and just use two cards and assign positions today:

First thing I notice is the elements fire/air. They are a work perfectly together. And it shows that I need shit to happen on the quick, no time to waste. (I've wasted quite a bit...I know... Me?! Shocking huh...lol)

1. What do I need to do? Page of Wands
Pages are all about communication and the Page of Wands is the one who makes sure it gets done sooner rather than later. He's energetic and enthusiastic. But I notice that this page is chillin' just sittin' back playing his guitar. Wth?....He's telling me to stop sitting on my ass like I have all the time in the world cause I don't! Make calls, contact folks via internet, make moves Girl! Chop-chop! And don't be dumb and not use my gift of gab and charm. I often feel like that's cheesy and shady. Which if used in a cheesy or shady way, it would be. When used as the gift that I have, it's not. I suck at a whole lot of things. Talking to people and being warm, sincere and engaging ain't one of them! So do that! I think him sitting and looking relaxed is to tell me not to stress no matter how stressful things are. Be calmly confident, yet aggressive.

2. Best course of action to make that happen? Queen of Swords
I mean look at her! She is clearly one not to be messed with who is not taking not for an answer! And I never noticed before that she is tied to a burning stake! Yet this chick is sooo not scared!! (I ain't scurred! lol) She looks like all hope is lost but she is so not thinking about that! She is devising a plan, a strategy, as is so characteristic of QofSw. She is determined, focused and courageous. She reminds me of a witch burning at the stake (still blows my mind that was really done to people!) I think I may need to do a little candle magick. The moon right now is waning and in Gemini, one of the signs that represents this Queen. It's a good time to do magick that removes blocks with regard to communication, making a plan, being assertive, focused, direct and determined and cutting out all the bullshit while doing it. The asp at her third eye makes me think of Isis. I've got to keep my thoughts positive and clear as to the result I want, NOT think about what I don't want or am afraid of happening.

There are no other people on the card; she knows that no one is around to pull her out of the hot seat, she's got to save herself this time. Being afraid or not focused will lead to her detriment. She's got a fire lit under her ass. Even though I can see no way of her getting out of this, the look on her face just screams, "Oh yeah?? Watch me!!"