Family Love - Day 45

Haha ha! Same card four days later, the10 of pentacles. And once again it is perfectly appropriate. My mother came to town. We went to dinner and I spent the evening with her and met several cousins I never knew and ones I haven't seen since I was a child. I got to hear about many family members I love dearly, many who are gone to the spirit world. It makes me realize how important it is to pass down the stories and recipes from the older generations and to spend time with loved ones while we have the with us.

 

I pulled one more card and got The Fool. This truly marked a fresh start with regard to my relationship with my mother. It has always been an extraordinarily stressed one despite the enormous amount if love we have for one another. Maybe because if the self-discovery we have both done this is the beginning of a much happier, healthier and enjoyable relationship. I certainly hope so.il

 

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Change and Courage Will Pay Off - Day 21

Tonight I used the Crystal Visions Tarot and it spoke to me in a series of bullet points. As they have been doing with these nightly draws, the cards jumped out while shuffling. I got The Fool 0, the 6 of pentacles, and the King of Swords.

~ Taking risks to seize new opportunities will pay off and give me so much more clarity and a sense of control

~ Using the knowledge and wisdom of past experience as encouragement when starting from ground zero leads to the ability to trust Self. There will be opportunities to repay kindness that has been show. Be proud of the courage and strength exhibited.

~ The attorney is going to get the final compensation deserved. Plan ahead to repay any debts and start fresh, but seek counsel from a professional advisor who can give clear, objective advise.

~ A trip overseas is the smart action to take. It will pay off and bring confidence, success and monetary compensation so go for it. There is no unfair exchange here so graciously accept gifts offered.

~ Stop being chicken-shit and reapply to be a flight attendant again.

~ A house move will bring a sense of balance, security and control. It will be near water and have an area with beautiful flowers and trees. The landlord will be fair and honest.

~ An opportunity to go to the ballet on a date with man who may be a pilot, lawyer, or be an air sign. Though he may be a bit of a know-it-all, he will be very generous, sincere and an animal lover who is a lot of fun and likes to travel.

 

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Message From the Blue Heron

There is so much beautiful wildlife in the S.E. Louisiana bayou country. There are always lots of egrets/storks/cranes, but the past week I have seen so many blue heron. (what the specific difference is between them all, I'm not sure. The differences are not very obvious except with the blue heron) So in addition to looking up the symbolism, I decided to ask Tarot what the blue heron is trying to tell me?

I first used the very pretty Druid Animal Oracle. I did a daily draw when I first got back down here a week ago and that was the card that came up. This deck has a special sentimental value to me because I won it in a contest held by the incredibly sweet Monica of Tarot In a Teacup.  The booklet talks about the crane being the keeper of arcane knowledge in addition to the extreme concentration, patience and perseverance this bird possesses. It can stand there, one leg lifted, for hours waiting to strike and capture its meal. With the recent upswing things have taken, it is telling me to remain vigilant, as well as patient Capricorn,  in seeking the things I most want.

Then I Googled and found an environmental management company and for some reason clicked on that link. I am astounded by how germane the information was that I found. This is a direct quote from their site: According to North American Native tradition, the Blue Heron brings messages of self-determination and self-reliance. They represent an ability to progress and evolve. The long thin legs of the heron reflect that an individual doesn't need great massive pillars to remain stable, but must be able to stand on one's own.

Blue Herons have the innate wisdom of being able to manoeuvre through life and co-create their own circumstances. Blue Herons reflect a need for those with this totem to follow their on unique wisdom and path of self-determination. These individuals know what is best for themselves and need to follow their hearts rather than the promptings of others. Those with the Medicine of the Great Blue Heron may sit until the rest of us loose patience. And, when they follow the promptings of the heart, they are one of the most magnificent when they choose to soar.

This is the message that Blue Heron brings.
I was for some odd reason called to my beautiful Ancestral Path deck. I haven't used this deck in about 6 years, so I have NO idea why it called to me today. Here is what it wanted me to know using my RockStar reading.

                                                        *click photo to enlarge*

Lead Singer - 5 of wands -  This version of the card is the complete opposite from any other that I know of. It clearly speaks to working together in order to achieve a specific result. We see the pharo overlooking the cartographers with their protractors and T-squares, and graphs. The 5ofW so often makes me think of the tag line for my blog; "That I know of, there are 5 chix in my head. All of them have way too much to say. These are their stories." *insert the duhn-duhn sound fro Law & Order* I need to make sure my thought process is cohesive and with set goals. And realize Rome wasn't built in a day, nor were the pyramids. I must see my desires through to the end. I need to take every word from that website and deeply ingrain it into my being!

Back-up Singer 1- The Fool 0 - This is the most unique and thought provoking version of The Fool I have ever seen. I know I have only scratched the surface of what Julia Cuccia-Watts is trying to convey through it. It always calls to mind New Orleans given the tarot reader as well as the jesters and voodoo doll. It is telling me I need to take more decisive steps in reading professionally, and life in general. Be bold, brave and daring. Expect things to work out in my life far better than what I can even expect. The Fool reminds us that the Universe completely supports us so be fearless because we are safe. I always associate it with the root chakra, so this is also a reminder about poverty-conscious mentality.

Back-up Singer 2 - The Empress III - .... ok, WTH!?! Egret/stork, whatever the hell, potato, potahh-toe! I just  can't even get with this one right now LOL! Doctors clinical analysis be damned I suppose!

I am so grateful for my love of nature and the way that the Goddess speaks to me through it.

Head-turner In Houston

I've been away from my blog for so long now. Lots going on. At first it was lots that was not too good, but now it is lots that is actually pretty good. That whole Mars Rx thing was a hum-dinger! Who knew it was such a powerful transit? And I think it being in Virgo made it even more challenging, yet also quite beneficial. Ever since it went direct, things have been moving in a much more positive direction with some umph. There are a few posts I'd like to make, but I'll start with this post. It  is with regard to a possible new relationship with a very hot guy I met while flying through Texas. I'll give more info later, right now I just want to do this so I can make a dang post! (And cause I really really want to know what the cards have to say about it all! tee-hee! It's been a long time since I had a man turn my head! And this one dang sure did! I'm pretty sure I did the same to him!)

I've chosen to use my Gill Tarot. It was the second deck I ever owned. (Don't you agree that U.S. Games makes the hands-down best cards with regard to quality!) You all know love my dark and goth decks! But I think maybe it is the whole Spring thing that has me wanting the brightness of this deck and its simplicity at the moment. I am choosing to only pull one card at a time instead of laying them all out first and then doing the reading.

                                                        *click photo to enlarge*

HIM
Where he is right now? - The Lovers VI - Ok, if I told you I didn't just do the girl squeal and I'm not sitting here looking  like the Cheshire Cat, I'd be a damn lie! The  Lovers for me blends the head with the heart. It is about romantic love, but just as much about choice. He has made the choice to be open to love, make a real connection with someone. His energy in person reads to me like that of a person who has been through some serious shit and came out on the other side better for it. A man who is very comfortable in his own skin. And a might fine skin it is LOL! And this card says that he is a point where he has chosen to have a serious commitment.


What is influencing that? - The Chariot VII - He has either tried to harness his emotions in the past or let them run out of control and not gotten a good result. He is an air sign, so he has most likely had a hard time balancing emotions and logic, as was shown in the previous card. This card also tends to represent travel. And being in the airline industry, I'm betting he is wanting the Cancerian traits of this card in his life. The safety and security of a nurturing home life after traveling so much. I also think this shows that we both felt some serious sparks and are really trying to pace and not get ahead of ourselves.

What does he want in a mate?  - Death XIII - Uhh.. ok. Let me think on this for a few min... Ok, I first notice the scythe the angel of Death is holding. He wants a woman who cuts through the bullshit and tells it like it is. (Wait until I have time to tell you guys the story of how we met lmao) Next I notice the crown. He needs a woman who knows what she wants and who recognizes her own majesty, knows her own worth and commands respect. Now I am thinking of how the Death card is ruled by Scorpio. He wants depth, passion, wisdom, sensuality, loyalty and trust. A woman who is sexually adventurous. Trust is a very sensitive issue for him I'd say. I just heard in my head " till death do us part" Does he want a wife??


What does his gut tell him about me? - Ace of Wands - That it is time for him to make a bold new start and I am a very passionate woman who will inspire him to take chances and have fun, and he seems like he loves to have fun.  Especially following the Death card, that I will offer him a whole new way of living, a fresh start. That I am bright, enthusiastic, passionate woman who he is now ready for.

What action will he take? - 10 of cups - This cat is really wanting to create something serious, dare I say, even to be married?? And holy crap, out of these 5 cards, 3 are majors and one is an Ace! There is major karma or a much higher prupose at work with all of this.

                                                                         
ME
Where am I right now? - 6 of cups - On this deck, we see the word "satisfaction". It is a bright card and the colors make me think of the solar plexus and heart chakras. I notice how the chalice on the top of the wheel is replenished from what is pouring out of the one at the bottom. I really am in  a much better place emotionally and I would really like to have the give and take of a loving relationship. And the emotional satisfaction that I have been cultivating from within is what is attracting healthy emotional situations.

What is influencing that? - Princess of Swords - I really like this version of the card. And yes, these days my mind is much clearer and focused. I do feel more in control of my thoughts and am learning to be better at speaking my own truth. The fact that she is the Princess/Page shows that I am still in the earlier stages of this and still have more growth to do. This version of the card also calls to mind the spell I did back in Oct to find a compatible mate.

What do I want in a mate? - The High Priestess II - My favorite of all tarot cards. I do want someone who is deeply spiritual and has done a lot of self-reflection and thus has a lot of wisdom and respects the wisdom I have. Who is very comfortable with who they are, a profound sense of depth to their character. Who has an air about them that just draws me to them, like the tide to the moon, and them to me. Yet understands the importance of quiet solitude and soul searching.

What does my gut tell me about him? - King of Swords- LOL! And yes, he is an air sign! An Aquarius no less! (If you've read my  blog for a while, you will know the irony of that. Well get a load of this: he has the same birthday as my previous KofSw!! wth) My gut tells me he is so strong, yet can be fragile at times. He is most likely a work-o-holic. Goddess, please don't let him be a total Aquarius know-it-all! He is probably very outspoken. He may be prone to insomnia. He needs change, excitement, and he has a very strong personality. He has a very strong humanitarian side and is drawn to things that are unconventional. If nothing eles, I have most likely made a friend for life. And I do have Venus in Aquarius, which is why the weirder they are, the better I like 'em! He doesn't strike me as "weird" but we are defintely opposites in some respects. Which is always right up my alley. And the KofSw aka King of Air goes along with him being airline.

What action will I take?  - Wheel of Fortune X - Lol, yep, that's how I'm feelin'. Let's spin the wheel and see what happens, but I'm feelin' pretty lucky. 10's mean it's time to start again and go into the next phase. His last card was a 10 and so is mine. The earth energy of it shows me being grounded and my need for something stable and secure in my life, but that I am willing to take a chance.

What does Spirit want me to know?  - The Fool 0 - For this i used the card at the bottom of the deck. Another major! This is a whole new phase of life for both of us. We are ready for a fresh start, a new adventure and we are both feeling very optimistic. We have both played the fool before, but now we are so much wiser for it. I have a feeling that we are both trying to not get over zealous and just walk right off the deep end, but we are so ready for this new adventure. This card often times means a house move, and with the 10 of cups and AofW, I really can see where this could be the case. Spirit is telling both of us to keep an open mind and an open heart and dare to go for it! I have to say I also find the 10ofC, AofW and The Fool to be a very interesting combination! I dare not even speak that yet though lol!

Relationship Reading For a Client: Will My Ex Boyfriend and I Get Back Together?

This was a reading done via email request. The querent wanted to know if she would reunited with an ex-boyfriend.

You have a pretty nice blend of all 4 elements in this reading, so I see that given the fact that there are more swords than any other, I'd say that there was some stress and conflict. Also that communication may have been an issue. The number of wands shows me that there was/is passion, 2 cups show me that a lot of emotion or love was involved. But there is only one pentacle, so a lot of growth is needed and stability and security are issues that need to be addressed.

1. Where things are right now- 9 of Swords- Right now things are almost a dead issue and that has lead to a lot of stress. But there is something that is the corner stone of the relationship and that holds one or both of you in this. Did you all meet at church? I feel like faith, religion or spirituality was a big part of the relationship. (Somehow church was involved.) I also feel like someone was truly heartbroken and still carries that pain. It needs to be addressed and given time to heal before any progress can be made. 9's are about things coming to an end. The good thing about that though is that if you bury the ghosts of the past, you can have a fresh new start. But let go of the baggage, whatever that may be.

2. What helps or hinders the situation- 4 of wands- Time away from each other has been good. Relaxing and kicking back, enjoying the moment, not stressing is what will help things. Going out and having a good time but not putting any strong expectations on the outcome. Doing fun things that you both can relate to and enjoy, but nothing heavy or real demanding. I feel like the subject of marriage is an issue that weighs heavily and adds anxiety. Dating and enjoying the experience of each others company is what is needed here. Dinner with friends, go on Living Social or Groupon and find really cool, different and interesting stuff will help you both to really learn who each other is, yet not make anyone feel like they are under a microscope or being pressured or tested. This kind of stuff is a really good way to see past the best-foot-forward we all put on. It will show you how compatible you are. Do you enjoy the same things, are you both advernterous, or are you both home bodies? Do you like to go out to eat, or is take-out and Netflix what you both rather? Do you both enjoy meeting new people or is one of you more of a recluse who would be just fine never leaving the house. And how do you compromise if you have a different opinion or plan? Do you respect each others space and independence or is somebody co-dependent? Take the stress of and you can both see who the real person is.

3.How you see him- The Lovers VI- It's very interesting that you both got very similar cards here in a lot of ways. You both got 6's, and they are about re-establishing balance and re-organizing what you want to create. I'd say in a lot of ways you are very well-suited. You see him as husband material, a keeper not just a fly-by-night-and keep-it-movin'. A person you could grow old with, who is not afraid of commitment. Was he married before? You feel a sense of balance and mutual respect.

4. How he sees you- 6 of Pentacles- He sees you as an equal partner, someone who understands that a relationship is give and take. He sees you as a very giving and generous person who may expect a lot, but only because you damn sure give a lot. He sees that you have a lot to offer, and that you balance him out because in a lot of ways you really "get" him. He sees that ride-or die woman who may smack you upside your head when you need it, but will love and stand by him through thick and thin. This man sees your worth, he values what you bring to the table.

*clicking on the picture will enlarge in for better view of the cards*

5. What's best for you- King of Swords- Ok chick, I'm just gonna say this point blank-- what's best for you is to make a firm decision and stand by it. And that means do you want him or do you want your ex, because this card is the one that represents you ex! You've got to cut the ties you have to the ex if you want things to happen with this one. He is much more emotional that your ex. It's harder for him to bounce back after heartache, he is much more sensitive. No two ways about it, the energy of the feelings you have for you ex will create a wall between you and this man. Even though it souns like I am addressing what's best for him, it really is what's best for you. You don't want to get hurt, but you don't want to hurt anyone else. Not making a choice will keep you from really knowing what you want or seeing what is best for you . You've got to clear off your plate. If you are supposed to be with the ex, it will become evident ONLY after you let him go. Sounds ass-backwards, I know, but that's what I really feel. And you will only know if this cat is what's best for you if don't have thoughts of someone else dancing in your head.

Another thing I feel from this card is have you taken time alone without a relationship and just gotten a clear understanding of who you are and what you want. Not having to consider anyone else but what You. An extended period of time as a single woman not dating anyone and getting in touch with who you are.

6. What's best for him-The Chariot VII- He may or may not show his emotions easily, but he is very emotional. What's best for him is to have a clear direction of where he wants things to go. I feel like he is a long haul kinda guy. The emotional yo-yo, whether it's him or its you who is pulling that string, will wreck him. He needs security and affection. Someone to come home to who he can trust and feel safe with. He needs control, but not necessarily in the negative sense. In the sense that he has peace of mind because he knows his heart is in safe care.

7. Advice/Outcome- 5 of Wands- This just reiterates letting go of stressing out over the outcome, wracking your brain to have all the answers. It's gonna drive ya nuts! I still feel like getting out and being social and having fun is key. With him, but also on your own. Passion is not just in the bedroom, it's what are you passionate about in life, things that make you smile 'till your face hurts, laugh until your side is splitting! If both of you let things flow and you will really see things from a whole new perspective.

8. Bottom Line- The Fool 0- It looks like there is a definite possibility, dare I say probability of a a fresh start. This card is all about that child-like fearlessness that kids have. They take risks and are excited to do so. It is all well and good to take the experiences from the past to kind of guide you, but don't let them keep you in a box. If you can't see the forest for the trees, you will never know what wonderful things lie ahead of you. But look at the number of this card, 0: you gotta work from ground zero with a fresh new approach, an open heart and an open mind. You two may have a few challenges but the fact that you seem to respect and want to work together will go a very long way to that marriage you want being healthy and happy.

I hope this helps and gives you some insight as to what is best for you,

Follow If You've Been Down the Same Road

So I saw a post on Craigslist for an apartment. I had seen it last week but I dragged my feet and didn't act on it so I thought in my indecision it was gone. I saw it just now and was like, "wow...is this a second chance??" So I whipped out my Faulkner Tarot and did a 3 card. First row is the pros of taking it, the second is the cons:

Row 1: 9 of Swords, 3 of wands, 0 The Fool
....Ok...this is pretty damn clear...Hello Krysten!! 9ofSw is the nightmare card, and I had one last night. Taking this place will end the insane amount of stress that being in limbo is causing. The sleeplessness, the nightmares, the clenching my teeth which leads to my hair falling out of my damn head (lovely!) and the endless tape recording of thoughts reminding me of how fucked up things are. The graveyard scene on this card says to put those ghosts to rest. I'm not really living right now, just kinda existing, floating from place to place, like a ghost. The church window shows I need to go inside a safe place. (Like a permanent place of residence...ya think!) The 3ofW shows a deal has been made, there is a fair exchange. Funny, yesterday I kept hearing the phrase "fair exchange is no robbery". The Fool 0 is all about taking a risk. He has no fear, he makes the decision to take a leap of faith and he goes for what he wants. He has trust that his experience mixed with the love of the Universe will lead him down the right path. The bright sky and the rainbow stands out most to me-- good luck from out of the blue. I think the Fool also means a house move as the Brits say. The elemental dignities work great in this trio. Fire is flanked by two air cards. The fuel needed to take action, make decisions, is present to feed and strengthen my will.

Row 2: Page of Pentacles, Queen of Swords, The Chariot VII
Again, the glaringly obvious....the Page of P shown here is adorable little Lola in reality, but the cards are telling me that I know EXACTLY who she is in this reading...ME. My inner child! I'm supposed to be the QofP but I'm not acting like a mature, responsible adult,  but like the scared little girl who loves to get lost to fantasy, just like Lola in her princess gown and feather tierra as she hides from the world behind her wand. The wand also says I have exactly what it takes to create the magick I want to occur in my life, but like the Buddhist proverb says, "A sword in the hands of a coward is useless." Which is exactly what the QofSw is thinking as she looks back at the Page. The QofSw is a very bold, direct, balls-to-the-walls decisive woman. She cuts through the shit and keeps it moving! And The Chariot shows the back and forth time and time again I've been  doing will only continue. Hell, it literally shows it! Philly to New Orleans! The constant moving from pillow to post I've done the since last Nov! And when I think of elemental dignities, this poor QofSw is in utter hell in this position. She is trapped between earth that won't budge and water that is too wishy-washy! And together those two are just making mud!

Ok....time to call the guy about the place. And get over the fear of him thinking I'm a total flake and telling me to kiss off. Which is really just my Shadow sides opinion of me huh....

How Can I Co-operate With God/Goddess

I was at a blog I think you should all check out, Tarotize.com. The lady's name is Lisa and she had another blog, Tarot Healing, that has taught me a lot and been so inspirational.  Today I  found a great spread she created and I'm going to try it. I absolutely love the title of this! I mean when you think about it, isn't that where a lot of our troubles stem from? The lack of understanding and thus lack of co-operation on our part?

HOW CAN I CO-OPERATE WITH GOD/GODDESS?

1. General answer to the question: Wow...let's just start off with a bang here lol. The Fool 0. The basic answer I need to focus on is that I need to trust in the limitless power of The Divine, and thus my own limitless power! Trust that everything will be great and that is what I will pull to me. At first the wolf looks so scary, but I just heard that saying the old folks use, "God protects babies and fools!" And now I am realizing that the child has the wolf on a leash! The child is in control, NOT the wolf!! Trust that I am more powerful than my fears and then I can harness them and train them to behave the way I see fit. This way, I don't have to act foolishly, but can have that lack of fear and total confidence that children have when facing a new adventure. You can not kill your Shadow self no matter how much you dislike it. But once you lovingly accept that you must co-exist with it, you can transform it and use it to your advantage. The baby is not focused on the wolf now, but on that beautiful rose, new life, hope, beauty, creation, and it's like the rose is bending down for him to grab. The red color and that the child is firmly seated is making me think of how much I need to do energy work on my root chakra. The color for it is red and it represents knowing that one has a right to be here and is safe, that the Universe supports you.

2. When I'm alone: Choose to face my fears, and start with the really scary ones first. The Lovers VI is ruled by Mercury who rules communication and speed, which just went retrograde until the 28th  and tht tells me a few things.A) Again a sign that blogging is good for me. 2. I need to continuously, actively choose to keep my thoughts positive and be clear and direct in my prayers. If I'm sending mixed messages to the Divine, I guess all I could get would be mixed results.  3)Don't get too caught up in my own head as I tend to do and do NOT see mySelf as a fcking powerless victim. True, I've got some scary and overwhelming shit to deal with. But either deal with it or it's gonna deal with me! The knight coming down from the sky makes me think I need to ask Micheal the arch angel for help. Been getting a lot of signs about angels lately,

3. When with friends and family: Another Major Arcana, wow! And my beloved High Priestess II. She is telling me to stay true to mySelf and trust my own intuition. No matter how wise and sincere those who love me are, I have GOT to listen to and trust my own inner Goddess!! This card never ever leads me astray.

4. In my professional life: Are you serious, another Major!? lol! I SOOO have to get my resume' out to more airlines and do some readings for others! Again, the whole babies and fools theme, and also be brave and stop going round and round in a maze of confusion that gets me nowhere fast. Breakout of my own self-imposed prison and go for it. The Sun XIX is as "yes" as you'll ever get to any question! Yet ANOTHER reminder that I will be hugely successful in both areas IF I get my shit together and go for it. The one child holding the other child's make me think of my biggest supporters these days, Suzette, Marjorie, Ray and my dear friend in the UK, Karen. xoxox

5. Around those who are negative or try to thwart my efforts: ......You've GOT to be kidding me.... I swear to you I shuffled well and no, I have not been doing anything with only majors lately that would explain this.... Justice XI This tells me that others will always be judging me, but I can NOT listen to that crap. The beam of light as she looks upward tells me that it's not what anyone other than The Divine thinks. I just watched The Town, again last night. Such an amazing movie! This card is reminding me of how Doug's best friend Jim was such an sad and judgmental asshole. He didn't want Doug to succeed because he didn't want Doug to do more and grow to be a better person because of his own insecurities. They came from a place where honor was the law of the land, but it became a very twisted and unjust weapon that people used against each other. But Doug had finally grown and learned from his mistakes, and they where some huge ones. There are a lot of parallels to be drawn, but I know this card is telling me SO clearly that the friendships I have recently lost where no longer healthy and it was time for them to end. Just like Doug, I don't want to blame, judge, or punish others for  how they choose to live their lives, it is not my place and it is not healthy for anyone. Karma is very efficient, She does not need my help. Just for me to keep being true to mySelf. Honor and being a true friend has to start within your won self first.

What an amazing reading this was! And this many majors is a neon sign I need to come back to often and take head. Thank you Lisa for sharing this spread. 

Something Wicked This Way Comes...

Well hell and damnation!!! I decided to ask the cards what does this next week hold for me and i get The Fool 0, The Tower XVI and the 5 of swords!!! WTF!??! In the same day I have managed to pull the damn 5ofSw twice! And to have it next to The Tower XVI is like gasoline to the fire! My eye was drawn to paper in the fireplace first. Are missing or destroyed documents in question? The one thing I must say about the way The Faulkner Tarot depicts this card is that it is at least a contained fire and does seem like total devastation. But that nasty, nasty 5ofSw makes me wonder what unpleasant and nasty surprise do I need to be aware of. Since The Fool 0 is here and the gypsy meaning for it is moving, I really pray it has nothing to do with my new residence. Either way, I will really pray for the protection and happiness of both me and my enemies in hopes of diffusing what looks to be something very ugly, mean, and nasty where no one will win and irreparable damage is done.

So now I have to ask: What can I do to prevent this or to protect myself?

The Wheel X, the 7 of swords, 3 of cups. I am drawn first to the center of The Wheel and think I want to look up Rhiannon's meaning of when that draws your attention first. It is the "good luck" card, yet its' right next to the nasty bad luck of the 7ofSw which is all about lies and thievery and cheating. I really do not like this because The Wheel is all about karma and how sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug and with that 7 next to it, it says to me my luck ain't so good and being the bug is beyond my control this week. And the woman pictured is walking under a ladder which we all know is complete bad luck! With the 3ofc next to that, the first thing that popped into  my head was "commitment", and next to the 7ofSw I'd say the end of one. Man I hope this room mate shit doesn't get even worse. The only way around this that i can see is to at least try to avoid any situations where I would be at risk and to be true to my commitment to my principles and to myself.

Going to See the Queen of Wands, the King of Pentacles, and 3 Princess of Pentacles today

LOL!! Well if this isn't crystal clear confirmation! I'm going in a few hours to see my g/f Jacqui and help her for a day while she has lasiks surgery. She is a Sag. She actuaclly has 3 daughters whom  I love and adore, and this cards meaning and the interpretation with Nathalie doing ten things at once is dead on lol! Her husband is a Virgo who drives a really sweet little sports car quite similar to the one on the card. She just told me about an amazing possible new bussisness opportunity for me that could be pretty profitable! I see myself getting off the dark island and going toward the end of that rainbow. 

The Fool, The Moon, and the 5 of Swords

Ok, so it's the end of the day, but here's what I got, and it's kinda funky to me. Especially since I went over to my old residence and got more of my belongings. Now I must say, things went FAR better than I anticipated. I guess we are supposed to just act like nothing ever happened and we are all hunky-dory....what the hell ever man. She is quite clearly fine with the decision she made to tell me I needed to find another place to stay. Over the phone. Initially in a text msg. While I was 800 miles away. Without the slightest provocation. (Or so she says. Obviously;  she was provoked.) I have been praying very hard to forgive, meaning to let the hurt go and not carry it around like a medal on my chest. But our friendship will never be the same.

So having said all that, the cards I got just now are as follows: The Fool 0, The Moon XVIII, and the 5 of Swords. WTH!? The Fool is all about new beginnings, a fresh start in life. And the gypsy meaning is "new home". Well we see the validity of that! The first thing my eye was drawn to was the dark little island. I see it and I feel cold and closed in and alone. It looks like I'm just trapped by all that water. And then to be next to The Moon? Not making me feel any better. You need to understand that The Moon has always been one of my two favorite cards in any deck (the other is the High Priestess II, and too has a very strong connection to the moon.) I've always loved the moon that sits up in the sky. For as long as I can remember I've felt compelled to stare and the moon, literally drawn to Her. I have done what is called "drawing down the moon." For those of you who don't know what that is, I can make another post at some point to explain it. (I talk like I actually have even one follower on this damn blog lol) For those of you who do, then you know how much I love and respect the Moon. But to see it placed next to The Fool and the fact that I didn't get a good vibe from that card is not making me feel the usual love I get from the sight of this card. Does The Fool next to The Moon mean "new beginning or start to uncovering the truth"??  To add insult to injury, the freakin' nasty nasty 5ofSw is the other card!!! Eewww!! Or maybe Yikes!! To quote Rhiannon, "the massive argument card. No winning with this one. People absolutely attacking each other and they look absolutely evil! There's no good side." The Moon in it's "darker" aspect is trickery, lies, deception, hidden truths, and just plumb crazy madness. I see Uncle Al on the 5ofSw and his cigarette hanging out of his mouth and I am instantly remembering the scene in the Clint Eastwood movie Grand Torino (absolutely one of the best movies I've ever seen!!!) where that horrid little asshole kid attacks and burns one of the main characters in the face with his cigarette. One of the basic points to the plot was how destructive and cruel racism is. This particular scene was not about racism, but about just being cruel and a horrible bully to hurt someone because they won't do something bad or wrong that you want them to do. I will have to keep this in my mental Roladex of interpretations of the 5ofSw because that is exactly what this card is all about.

This reading is showing me that my suspicions about the situation with my former roommate are dead on. There are 2 majors out of only 3 cards because this was a very major event in my life and I have a lot of lessons I am learning. Her boyfriend is in fact a racist and and bully. The bad or wrong thing he wanted her to do was to throw me out. They have had the physical altercations that are pictured in the card. They both smoke. He has dark hair, she has light. She and I would have a wonderful day together, then he'd come over, as he did every single day, and the entire tone of the house would change. I'd stay closed up in my room, her in hers, him out in the living room being all miserable. That's why I saw and felt what I did in The Fool card, and why it was time for me to get out of that dark, closed off place. And how she felt too. The Moon just confirms that his shady ass is that hidden element that is at the root of our friendship being so damaged. And believe me when I say that both the emotional and the physical issues are very much kept secret! No one really has any idea of how bad this situation really is between the two of them. Now that I am trying to see the card combination meaning, The Moon in a reading (and damn sure it it is next to!) the 5ofSw to me says emotionally abusive relationship all day long!!! And then you wanna have The Fool next to that! It makes that card go from a wonderful new thing to meaning actually "playing the fool".  And the 0 on the card makes me think of emptiness, worthlessness, no value, and a place holder. Like, "I'd rather have this worthless zero in my life as a place holder than to face the emptiness I feel from being alone."

So something made me go to the Tarot Eon blog.....

The bottom card is the 7 of Wands. This shows the stress of this messed up situation. It also shows how torn I am. The 7 of Wands is a card of valor and honor. Of standing up for what you know is right regardless of how difficult it may be. I am so torn. There is a huge part of me that still loves my old room mate dearly and wants to protect her. There is an even bigger part that has tried for a year and a half to protect her and help her to see the reality of her situation and numerous times she has let shown me with crystal clarity she is choosing to stay in this relationship at all costs. I did everything I could do, even to my own detriment. Maybe she feels the same way about me. All I can do now is hope she will make better choices. Somehow, I sadly do not think she will.

For the love of God; guess who just text me. Like it's just another day, telling me a funny little story, like nothing bad ever happened. You gotta be kidding me....