R.I.P. President Mandela - Day 23

Today the entire world is a little less bright today.

"A leader. . .is like a shepherd. He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being directed from behind."

~ Nelson Mandela July 18,1918 - December 5, 2013

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”

 

 

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Happy Birthday Dr. King

January 15th is the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King as well as Joan of Arc. I would like to pay my respects to two of the most profound and courageous figures in history. I have chosen a couple of cards that I associate with both of them.

Dr. King~ Emperor IV, The Star XVII, King of Pentacles

 Joan of Arc ~ Queen of Pentacles, Emperor IV, 7 of wands

Two incredibly strong human beings who both are Capricorns. This sign is known for unwavering loyalty to any person or cause that they feel is worthy of respect and honor. I chose the Emperor card for both of them because they were such amazing leaders who took care of the masses and wielded a great deal of power and authority. The Star card because of Dr. MLK's unwavering hope for humanity and for peace. The 7ofW because to me this card is all about valor, standing up for what you know is right, sticking to your principles, regardless of how difficult or unpopular.

What cards do you associate with the two of them?

Questions About Moving

I want to move. I used to hate Philly, but now I see that I don't hate Philly, I hate the state of my life, and my life just happens to be happening in Philly at this time. Philly is a great city. I now truly get that wherever you go, there you are. So if I have a shitty attitude in Philly and then move to Bangkok, I'll have a shitty attitude in Bangkok. If I have a shitty attitude and move to Paris, I'll just being having a shitty attitude and it will just so happen to be in Paris. It's "who" you are, not "where" you are. Because you make the place, the place doesn't make you. It's taken me 39 years to really get that shit, and I still have to remind myself of it.

The first row is Atlanta, the second is New Orleans. The first thing I notice is the elemental dignities. 2 fire and 1 earth and the fire are both majors. This shows getting out of a stagnant way of being and using that to fuel change and ambition. It's using that feeling of being stuck to motivate me a light a fire under my ass. God knows I need that!!!!!

Row 1: Atlanta 
The first thing I notice is the 6 of Pentacles. I have such wonderful friends who love me there and have done so much already to help me. And I want to be able to repay their kindness and give back in any way I can. I just did a round of EFT (a link is enclosed if you are unfamiliar with it) about generosity a few minutes ago. I see the large pentacle over her heart and it reminds me of a mediation I did from Chakra Healing (link included, check it out. Some great information).  She has you envision a flower over your heart chakra and see money, dollars, yen, pounds, euro, whatever, going into the ground and the flower blossoming. The point is to open your heart and root chakras and to see that money is NOT evil, (your motives surrounding it may be) and that self-worth is tied to money issues. Open your heart to self-worth and a wealth of things will grow into existence, and money is not an exception. Maybe there will be a money making opportunity in the ATL. The five points on the pentacles also make me think it may be a good idea because the area I'd want to move to an area there called Little 5 Points lol. The Tower XVI is the need for me to shake things up and and make a clean break.  Just last night Beyond Worlds did a great show about the Tower. I need to let go of what's not working. And believe you me, that's a whole lot os shit lol! This also makes me think I may be in for a rude awakening when I get back to Philly. Oye vey! God knows that's what happened a few months ago when I was here!! Yeesh! But with the Emperor IV next to it, I see that it's so jacked-up, shitty, kick-you-in-the-ass situations that can lead you to take charge of your life and command you to control it and not let life control you. The rising sun on the Tower is leading my path to the inquisitive little meerkat on the Emperor. And I love how on this deck's version of the Tower, there's not the usual nose-dive out of the burning building. She is safely nestled up in the tree away from danger and with her teddy bear. It make suck, a lot in fact, it may be scary, but it WILL be ok. My guides and angels are with me. Focus on the end result I want, not how much getting there sux.

Row 2: New Orleans
These make all the sense in the world to me. The first things I notice are the High Priestess II and the Queen of Pentacles. Both are cards I use to identify myself, as a Capricorn and as a woman who has always sought the esoteric. The HP is a card I always associate with New Orleans, the witch (which in my book is a compliment to be admired, NOT feared! No matter what I practice, at this time it is Nichiren Buddhism, I will always be a witch honey. It's in my Creole roots and I love it), the mysterious sorceress, the sensual lady that she is, who draws you in and makes you fall in love with her. Once she is under your skin, you are never free from her intoxicating rush that makes your soul crave her all the more. Think, Marie-Laveau. Mysterious, misunderstood, and just plain missed. And that huge moon on the QofP is something I also associate very much with the city, the Crescent City as she is known. It's where I've always gone to heal and nurture my spirit whenever major emotional upsets occurred or when life was just driving me crazy. That is until Katrina. Which brings me to the last card, the Knight of Cups. How sad and lost as he feels is how so many of us who had to leave still feel. Searching for a place called home. And looking at the E.D. water, earth,water, it makes me think of Katrina, earth surrounded by too much water and then washed away. All of that emotion I feel, the need for security and a solid foundation to build a life and a home, but not enough money. Because I would not feel safe moving back home without a the "Oh Shit!!" fund set aside. Not just savings, but a specific account to sustain myself when the next hurricane comes. Because as negative as it sounds, we all know it's not IF, it's when that is the question.

Bottom Line:
The 3 of Swords. I need to heal my heart, and that can only come from within. In Buddhism it teaches that your surrounds are a reflection of your inner state of being. Swords are air. I need to change my way of thinking and do some more inner work to create true happiness that can not be destroyed regardless of what is going on around me. And looking at the large X over her heart, it's just like what people do when you visit Marie Laveau's grave. You write your heart's desire/prayer on a piece of paper and make the red X's. As I look at the trees bending from the wind from those large storm clouds, I see the tears of sadness flowing down this woman's beautiful face. Is she pointing to her broken heart? Or to the ahnk, the symbol of eternal life. Maybe both, point out that life goes on no matter how terrible the storms.

Face to Face

So I got a message from an old friend I have not seen since the night we met back in '05, about a week before Hurricane Katrina. Then we found each other on FB a few years ago and occasionally say hey, what's up or Happy Birthday since we are one day apart. The chemistry between us is HOTTT!!! So he hit me up this evening via FB and text to let me know that he will be in town tomorrow. (Well, since it's 03:52 we can call it today huh.) I'm torn about seeing him. I really do want to. He's a really cool guy. But I have reservations about it for several reasons. A. I'm about 15lbs heavier than I should be. Now I'm very lucky that I carry my weight very well since I'm kinda tall and am lucky enough to have a pretty nice shape naturally. But 15 lbs too much is 15 lbs too much no matter how ya stack it!! And though he is almost 10 years older than I am, he is in amazing shape. He used to be a professional athlete and still looks like it!  2. is the fact that my back is has been so bad lately. Being in chronic pain is such (ok, here it comes...really bad pun) well, such a pain! Today I was walking around looking like a ward of the state and didn't get out of my pajamas until like 9:00 at night! And here I am in quite a bit of pain right now. It can make me cranky and not the best company to be around and often keeps me from going places and doing fun stuff. And 3. he works in the airline industry like I used to until I fell and damaged 9 disks. It's so hard to deal with the normal questions people ask: How are you? What are you up to? Where do you work? Well what do you do? How do you manage? Will you go back to flying? What do the doctors say? How long has it been? UGHHH!!! So all of that to say I have a few very deep insecurities that are keeping me from wanting to see him. I could always say that now isn't a good time for me, but that would only lead to the question "Why not?" since I have expressed that I'd really like to see him when he can get an overnight here. And to lie and say I'm not in town or something like that just seems dumb. I'm 39 and I'm gonna lie about anything much less dumb shit!?? I mean, for real!

So of course I had to consult the cards.
Holy. Cow. !
Sooo many things that are so perfectly descriptive of the dynamic between he and I!!! So I shall just name but a few.

First thing I notice straight away is that 3 out of 3 cards are Majors! And the first one is The Lovers VI! LOL And this version in the Tarot of the Sweet Twilight is so incredibly beautiful and romantic. I notice that the woman is nude as the man gently caresses her face. It shows how vulnerable I feel right now, how exposed to disclose what is going on (or not going on as the case may be) in my life right now. But I guess this also shows that he will be compassionate and accepting of me just as I am. Which, if he isn't, why be with him at all, regardless of what the dynamics are! The two lovers on the card are as if they are an island unto themselves. Maybe he needs to be alone with me and to feel safe too. And the way it is just floating in mid-air makes me think of us working on an aircraft, miles above the planet.
The next card is my beloved High Priestess II. I guess in many ways we are both a mystery to each other. And I think for him I really am. Talk about mystery and romance, we met on a hot summer night in the French Quarter and it was an instantaneous attraction about as subtle as white lightening streaking though the velvet sky just before the crack of thunder whips through the clouds before a rain storm. And I must say, I most definitely let my inner High Priestess II run the show! I look at this version of her and have to laugh. There is often a lot of "cat and mouse" interaction in our conversations. I see the High Priestess as an alluring seductress. Kinda hard to feel that way these days though. The look on the cat's face is more like how I feel! "Oh! Shit! He's gonna see through the veil! I'm no good at game playing and so I won't be able to keep up the facade that my life is going just fantastic!" I also notice that the High Priestess II has her back to the next card, the Emperor IV, who clearly has two sides to who he is and is fine with letting me see both. This card is represents a man who is powerful and has good business sense, posses a lot of character and strength and has his shit together. As a pilot, this card really could be a good one to represent him.  It's like the Priestess has her back to him and is looking off into the distance into the "if only..." that is not my reality at this time. And he is looking dead at me. I'm gonna have to face him, yet I still want to retain some air of mystery and magnetism with him. If this card is here, then so far I have. But can I keep that?? The High Priestess is the woman that a man is drawn to like a bee to honey, or more appropriately, the ocean to the moon. Even when he is not consciously thinking of her, she is not that far away from his thoughts. She's under his skin. Even if they don't see each other or speak often, he never forgets her or how she makes him feel. It also shows how he had confided in me about a lot of personal thoughts and feelings about himself and his life.

The card at the bottom of the deck is the 9 of Pentacles. This is by FAR  my very FAVORITE 9ofP and dare I say the best interpretation I have ever seen!!! I was looking at it earlier today and for some reason was thinking about New Orleans! This card just screams everything I think the 9ofP is all about and everything I want for my life, The deep red says passion, as a personality trait, but a passion for life. She's Catwoman for Goddess' sake! The 9ofP is about a woman who is confident and strong and has not had anything handed to her easily, but has worked hard to attain what she has and is very comfortable and financially secure but also very secure within herself. She chooses to be with others is she so desires, but she is very independent and no matter what, she always lands on her feet! It's like the High Priestess has changed outfits, still looking off into the distance, only here she looks so much more content and at ease. Is it because she has her mask on? This deck is sooo Tim Burton-esque! I now hear the the lines  spoken and the song that was in Batman Returns when Michelle Pfipher/Selina Kyle was at the party dancing with Bruce Wayne/Michael Keaton. It was "Face to Face" by Siouxsie and the Banshees and it is one of my very favorite songs. "Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it. But a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it." We have spoken many times, but this will be the first time in 6 yrs (!!! Holy shit Batman, where in the world does time go!?!??!) seeing each other face-to-face. I wonder if either of us will really take of our mask or if when we kiss, will we allow ourselves to mean it...



**Update-- This reading couldn't have been more accurate lol! I am so glad I did this reading and took its advice. It was so nice to see him and I could tell my guides putting the Siouxsie song and the Catwoman/Batman dynamic into my head was so accurate. And when I took of my mask to a good degree, he did as well. And boy was I pleasntly surprised. I was so afraid he would see my life as one big giant hot mess and judge me. Meanwhile, he spoke very briefly, yet finished my sentences as though he read my mind, only he spoke in first person. And in that moment I was so very glad I did go to see him. And as opposed to feeling down on my self and how my life has been for the past few years, I felt understood and accepted. My God, what better gift can you give another person. I don't know if it ever struck me so deeply that there actually can be a greater gift than love.
And I also felt like a school girl having her first kiss that night! LOL I kept thinking of this song: 

** Why the hell this is so damn large is beyond me LOL!!