30 Day Yoga/21 Day Plank Challenge

I spent the day in London Saturday. I asked my guides to just lead me to wherever I was supposed to go. I found myself in an accupunturist's office by the end of the of the evening. I felt like hell and was in so much pain it was ridiculous. Given the past 7 years of working toward healing 9 damaged disks in my spine, please understand how much trust this took!!! In mySelf, my guides and Dr. Wang, who I just randomly found. Long story short, it was a very positive experience. Of the many things he advised me to do was to go back to yoga everyday. (Because my intuition, my former trainer and dear friend who did SO much to bring me healing over th years, and the tarot had never suggested the importance of this...) I knew beyond a doubt I'd get the 10 of wands/swords/the Hanged Man. Here is how this will benefit me.

 

 

Mind - 6 of wands - Those neurotransmitters will start firing properly and I can tell my old buddy Depression and Anxiety to miss where the sun don't shine! I will have more clarity and confidence and see myself as the amazing woman I am. Go me.

Body - Magician - (I chose to place this card at the bottom.) I will feel so much stronger and physically adept. This speaks to the mind/body/spirit/heart connection that Eastern philosophy addresses. To treat the entire being, unlike how in Western medicine the focus is symptomatic treatment which is so fucking foolish. But that generates more $,€, and £ baby. I think this card shows I'm in very capable hands with Dr. Wang. I am excited to be able to show him that I've progressed when I return next month.

Soul - The Empress III - (placed in the middle, where my soul is) My central focus needs to be on self-care. I have such a tendency to nurture everyone else but me. I'm instantly drawn to the swan and her cygnet. I had an amazing experience this past Sunday where I got to see Her Magesty's Royal Swan Warden tag swans! The purpose is to asses the health of the swans and ensure their population increases. They are gorgeous creatures and extremely protective of their young. Witnessing this was pure medicine for my soul. And yoga will be as well.

Bottom line - 10 of wands - Lol, and there it is. One of my primary indicators of back pain and accupressure. being a wand this shows me that yoga will help aliviate stress due to the fact that I feel the weight of the world is upon me most days. I'll be getting my energy/qui moving and feel far less lethargic and more revitalized.

Here is the nice YouTube lady I chose to follow for the 30 day yoga if you'd like to try it as well and a video on proper form for planking.

 

 

 

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New Moon in Aquarius Spread

I thought I'd try a New Moon Spread. I found this one from a Google search that took me to a blog I'd never seen. It uses the four directions and Spirit to tap into how to best use the energies at this time. It is a new moon in Aquarius.

New Moon in the North - 10 of wands - Don't take on more than I can handle, and damn sure what is not mine. I also see the wands in her hands like weights. I need to work out and build my physical strength. I also need to somehow stop stressing about money. It looks like her eyes are looking down at the next card.


New Moon in the East - The Wheel of Fortune - Brainstorm new ideas. Aquarians just love to plan. I need to write out lists and set  plans into motion about the direction I want things to go in. I see the noon phases above her head. Since this is a new moon spread I really think something significant will happen by this time next month. I think I will make new connections with people who will help spin the wheel in my favor.

*Sorry about that flash. Click on photo to enlarge*

New Moon in the South - 9 of swords - As soon as I pulled the card I heard "Quit being such a scaredy-cat!" This is the nightmare card and in this position it is reminding me that when I give in to anxiety and fear the way I so often do, it keeps me stuck, trapped. I need to use my fears to my advantage and feed the flames of creating the things I desire.

New Moon in the West - 7 of wands - I need to put myself and my own needs first.  I have got to realize that this does not make me selfish!! It makes me smart and a person who values and loves herSelf. It will also make me happier.

New Moon at its Core - King of Wands - If I tap into this new moon in Aquarius energy I can really make some serious headway. I can find success in the things I am passionate about and that will inspire and energize me. Look at how confident and brave this King is. I can hear The Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz say "Courage!" which ties right back in with the message from the 9ofSw in the south.

What are you hoping for in next month or so? Do any of you have a New Moon spread you like?

No Rain On My Birthday Eve

Today is Dec 24th. Tomorrow is my birthday. I really wish I was more excited about this. Right now, I really am not.

I decided to do two birthday spreads. This first one in this post I found on a ladies blog from a Google search with those two key words.

1. Body and Health - 6 of wands- The butterflies coming from under her hat remind me of how I have been thinking of the transformation I have made with regard to the issues with my back. I really believe that transforming my mindset has gonna very long way in my healing it. And look at how happy she is, feeling on top of the world and proud of what she has done or overcome. This card is telling me that my ass needs to get back on the workout wagon! It gives me so much more energy and vitality. It seems it will be very important to me accomplishing the things I want to, starting with feeling accomplished lol!

2. Mind and Intellect - 3 of swords - I have had several very painful experiences that broke my heart this past year with regard to friendships. But I see how big the person's heart is on the card and that he still shows it proudly. Though he guards it a bit, he is has by no means locked it away. He put a Band-Aide on the wound, but that's not what he is focused on, nor the three swords. He is focused on the three candles. To me they are faith, hope and clarity. His skirts look like a patchwork quilt. My experiences are all what make up the fabric of my life. Some positive, some crappy, but all serve a purpose. I have a bit more healing to do, and the quilt also says to me that I need to  do a bit more work on taking care of and nurturing mySelf. His somber countenance reminds me that though I do a very good job at keeping the daemon of depression at bay, I need to be sure to keep my thoughts positive. Thoughts become words, become actions. become results. Free ya mind, ya ass'll  follow.

3. Heart and Relationships - The Empress III- This is such a lovely version of this card. I notice that there is a lot of green - healing and growth. And being the archetype of the mother, this makes all the sense in the world to me give the situation with my mother and the healing that is slowly taking place with us. The little blue eggs in the nest on her head make me think of my precious little 7 month old cousin Kade. I have never really liked babies. Sorry if that sounds mean or harsh, but I don't. Too much hollering and pooping but other than that, what do they do? Who are they? But this kid won every inch of my heart! He has changed my mind a lot about babies in general. More specifically about me wanting one (?!?!?? yikes!) In terms of the future, does this mean that I will have one within the next year?? If I'm gonna do it it damn sure needs to be soon! At 09:45- exactly 7 hours to the minute from now, I shall be 40.  I ain't no spring chicken LOL! And I just love the skulls on her dress!  So me! Reminds me of this site I tripped over called Baby Goth. OMG!! The coolest kids clothes ever man!

4. Spirit and Evolution - Page of Wands- I freakin' love this interpretation of the PofW! He is happy as a clam! (or a happy bunny) and wants to announce it to the world! I need to remember that HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE. I have been hearing that phrase in my head for several days now. Even though I have always been a very optimistic, 1/2 full kinda gal, I have fought depression for a long time. Again this shows that I need to be mindful of my thoughts and take action to work toward things that will bring me true joy, not subjective happiness. This bunny is doesn't give a poop what anyone thinks! He totally makes me think of one of my favorite videos ever with little girl is in the bumble-bee costume and is searching for other bees like her. I can never remain down after I see that video! He is telling me to live for mySelf and inevitably others will   benefit and be happy. He wants me to be excited about life and get out and experience it! This is Phase II! Stop  bullshittin' and do all the thongs my souls is crying out for me to do and experience. There is NO MORE TIME LEFT TO GIVE IN TO FEAR! Glad I  took the financial risk and bought those flight lessons for my birthday. This bunny rabbit totally took flight lessons! Skydiving too! And he is not afraid to toot his own horn. Self confidence is not being pompous. It is pride in ones acquired wisdom---- where the hell did that come from LOL!? No idea, but I like it!

5. Special Birthday Wish from The Goddess - 10 of wands- Wowwww. She said, put my burdens down! Stop giving myself more work by stressing and working harder not smarter. That way I won't be so overwhelmed and fearful of living life to the fullest. She is also saying that I need to learn to say "No." much more often. And stop feeling driven to explain why all the time. Just politely but simply, "No." I take on too much, don't have a plan, and get burned out. Stop that She says.


I am really liking the Joie de Vivre tarot more and more. It had just the right blend of honesty mixed with its gentility that I need today on Christmas/My Birthday Eve.

Should I Start A New Blog??

So I've been toying with the idea of a new blog for quite some time now. Ever since I did the wonderful teleseminar with the very cool Theresa, The Tarot Lady. So I've asked "If I do this, what will I get? What will I give?"

GET:
6 of Pentacles, 10of Cups, 7 of Pentacles
Ok, straight talk here, I gotta say I was so happy to see some pentacles up in here lol. Because as aultruistic as I may be, I need and want to make some cash! The next thing that stands out to me is that the top row that has a lot of red and orange tones and the bottom has lots of blues and greens. This will bring me a lot of joy and will be something I am passionate about. I think these colours are to show that in spite of a lack of wands, this venture will  require me to take action and light a damn fire under my ass, something I so desperately need.
The 6ofP lets me know to NOT feel in anyway guilty about charging for readings! Fair exchange is no robbery! And as much heart and soul as I put into my readings I give a whole lot of myself. The circus tent is saying don't allow others to treat tarot as some cheap parlour game, respect it as a true skill not just cheap entertainment. The 6ofP is all about give and take.

The 10ofC says I will gain so much emotional fulfillment from this. I see the woman's left hand is the one holding the hand of the man she can not actually see. My guide(s) will be with me talking right in my ear so just lay back and relax just like this chick and trust the process. It's about feeling and feelings and the subconscious, that's why I think there are not swords. Don't think so damn much, just feel and let it flow!

The 7ofP tells me that I will get more confidence the more I practice and do the performance of it. Practice on my friends and their friends. That way I can evaluate my progress and continue to get better and better. But tarot is a continuous journey of learning, NOT a final destination of perfection. And as Theresa said, find my own voice, my own style. No matter how many times the same song has been played, the world has never heard it sung in my voice. I also think this is speaking directly to my confusion about traditional meanings and intuitive interpretations. It is calling to mind how I just found out that a song that I've loved for years is actually a re-make. The Looking Glass by Siouxsie and the Banshees was actually done like 10 years earlier by Kraftwork. What if Siouxsie had not thought her own way of expressing the song had just as much (maybe more??) value than the original? Use the original meanings to build from and create my own version. And don't compare myself to anyone but me as I evaluate my progress!

GIVE:
The Hermit IX, 8 of Swords, 10 of Wands
I notice that this row has all shades of greens and blues in contrast to the upper row. I will give people emotional support and a means to grow. And I see all three cards have mountains, so I'll also give them a way to overcome the obstacles they face. Two cards have homes at the top of the mountains. I do have the ability to make others feel safe and cared for.

The center card calls to me first, the 8ofSw. People come to readers when they feel stuck. My blog will give them a safe place to clear their head and sort things out, all of those self-imposed limitations that keep all of us trapped and made to feel like victims. I will give my readers (including me!) a way to stop going round and round, back and forth in a figure 8, like a rat on a wheel with no way off.

The Hermit shows how that can be accomplished. For me this card has always been like the Grand Poobah version of the 6ofP. Once you've gotten that wealth of knowledge, it is each of our responsibility to pass it on. This Hermit is writing in his journals, like I will be typing on my keyboard. The little bird on his left shoulder again says that my guides will be there to make sure I give the proper information in the best manner of understanding for each person. And I love the look of pensive compassion on his face.

This 10ofW shows all of these people who have been turned into puppets, trapped, not living but just kept prisoner by some unseen force. And the are stuck on this tiny ledge with little margin for error. But the strings look like if they just gave them a few good yanks they'd break. They are all looking down and their hearts are covered by their arms. The new blog could be what inspires people (starting with my own ass) to cut the crap that keeps us trapped and closed off from living life to the fullest. And again, here is another house. It may be an uphill battle, we may fall a few times, but that's damn sure better than being victims of circumstance.

The Devil Went Down to GA

Now ordinarily I would be starting to freak out completely with the cards I drew today, but actually it's kind of a strange comfort. in that it tells me that I am actually in touch with my cards and guides. Because I've been freaking out and unable to sleep and stomach a wreck. And today I drew the 10 of wands and The Devil. See? Total conformation that things are as fucked up as  I feel they are. Or at least that I feel as fucked up as I feel. Overwhelming fear and impending doom to say the least. I just got some way bad news confirmed. I'm still in Atlanta and  few days ago I wrote how I felt something wasn't write with my room mate back in Philly, but I didn't know what. Well at this moment I still don't, but I do know I will need to move. I feel like dude in the 10 of wands, so much heavy weight to carry, back hurting, face down in the shit. Out in the wilderness, alone. He's got to cut those red ropes that hold all that shit. What are my red ropes?? Fear, doubt, anxiety, pain, guilt, shame, insecurity... just to name a few. And of course the big dog of them all who rules all of those pleasant things, ole Prince of Darkness himself. Sitting on that hourglass I do feel like a fool and time is running out. So how do I somehow find a positive in all this awful shit. Plain and simple, I gotta face my fears head on and deal with the shit because it's about to deal with me! This is a serious test of faith. If the man in the 10 of wands drops his heavy load and turns around, there seems to be sunlight in the clearing, a way out of the thick woods. And The Devil of the LoD deck isn't nearly as scary as he is in most decks. Now looking at his muscles, this is not going to be an easy fight or situation to overcome!! But I see the Capricorn symbol. I've GOT to be a true goat-fish! Adaptable, yet strong and determined to get to the top of the mountain.  I have to believe in myself and limitless potential to be able to create the life I want!! In Buddhism, hell is not an actual destination, but, a state of being or life condition. Where one feels trapped and completely hopeless, helpless and in utter misery. But the man in the card can jump (take a huge leap of faith!) to the poll and crawl down and get out. This is so gonna suck, but I can do this.

At the bottom of the deck is the 8 of Swords, but of course lol!! This too is exactly how I feel, alone, trapped, and like any move I make will cause me more pain and fuck myself up. Hell, she even looks like me! And damn it's dark and wooded where she is! So what the hell is she falling into!? But I do see Jupiter behind her, the planet of good fortune. And "a sword in the hand of a coward is useless!" according to Nichiren Dishonin. So I had better grow a pair and cut myself free and help my damn self out of this situation.
 I can't imagine what would make things come to this b/c my roomate and I are so close and love each other so dearly (although something or should I say someone does come to mind...) but some shit is clearly about to jump off.
I drew one more card, just for s&g and it was The Fool lol! Same guy who is pictured on The Devil card. His legs are so strong and he has the world at his feet. And the hourglass is full. Somehow....somehow, this is going to be a good thing in the end. A whole new beginning. I have got to make my mind focus on that and keep the faith.

UPDATE: So it's about 4 hrs later, and yes, I was asked to leave. Hence The Tower and QofS the other day. I'm shocked b/c we so often talk about my being there. That even though it was supposed to be temporary but b/c it has turned into 1 1/2 yrs it's totally fine. That she loves having the company. That b/c she was in the same kind of situation years ago she understands and is happy to pay it forward. That though it is for very different reasons, she needs me there as much as I need to be there. She says this has nothing to do with me, that she needs her space and she is in no way angry or resentful that I have been there and loves me still, but b/c she just found out that her back is getting so much worse she needs her space. Now what the hell sense does that make!? She'll need me even more! I'll go to my grave knowing it was the who and not a "what" that happened to cause this shit. I am pissed, and very hurt, but I will never ever forget all the love and kindness she did show for so long. I've already been blessed enough to have a mutual friend ask me before I even thought to ask her about moving in. So I'ma take this as blessing. An opportunity to get my damn shit together and make some much needed MAJOR changes and start living the life I deserve.---In my own damn house that is lol!