Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The Queen of Swords as Mel Robbins

So after I made the last post I tripped over an very powerful video. About 2 min into it I almost turned it off. The woman presenting this Ted Talk, Mel Robbins, was seriously rubbing me the wrong way. My mind was coming up with a lot of judgements about her, many of which may or may not be true, but I'm so glad I realized that silly shit was irrelevant to the amazing knowledge she was sharing. She is as Queen of Swords as anyone I've ever seen. She is a public speaker and blogger, criminal attorney, mother of three, wife and relationship and career expert. (You can see why I decided to tell my critical board member in my brain to go play in traffic) She is an extremely direct, curt, to the point, in your face, unapologetic woman of action. I'm lucky to have found her powerful voice that cuts through the bullshit and tells it like it is. The next time I say "I'm fine" I'll see this outspoken blonde and hear her words, "...get outta your head! You would not hang out with people who talk to you thway you talk to yourself!" How synchronistic the Universe sent me this after what I just posted! I hope this helps any of you who check it out.



Enjoy the Silence - Shhh...

This morning's card from my Earth Magick Oracle was Island - Solitude. It's kinda perfect because yesterday marked the very first day I've been all alone since... Holy fucking sheep shit. Since May 30. OH MY FUCKING GOD IVE NOT BEEN BY MYSELF SINCE MAY 30?!?! 7 WEEKS TO THE DAY OF CONSTANT INTERACTION WITH OTHERS EVERY SINGLE DAY??! Sweet Jesus it's a wonder I'm not in a mental institution with Haldol running through an IV drip! I had no idea it'd been this long. As an empath that's some very dangerous behavior! No wonder I've been depressed and anxious and had extreme back pain, sleepless nights and feelings of impending doom! I've got all of my own shit plus that of all the people around me that I'm absorbing NON STOP. Leaving NOLA was traumatic and that day was so fucking painful and stressful I had a total melt down. Then got in a car to drive 16 hours up to Chicago because my wife's (my best friend Michaelle) father died. Oh to hell with it, I'm not going to rehash all the details. It was some bullshit. It also was wonderful because it made me, Michaelle and our friend Wendy even closer. But then I had to fly to Philly to deal with some extremely stressful things within a 9 hour period and then get on a flight to London, followed by a 3 1/2 hour bus ride. I'm here visiting my amazing friend Karen. Her 14 yr old lives here, and for the first 6 weeks of my stay, her 21 yr old son and his girlfriend (lovely people!) lived here as well. Then I find out my dog died. Jesus on a bicycle.

All I can say is, did you ever see the movie Falling Down by Michael Douglas? I deserve a fucking medal for not going on a mass killing spree. And a cookie. From the Double Tree! In Paris! While wearing a pair of boots by Lanvin! Preferably these:


So last week the older two moved out and into a fantastic new home. And Sunday Karen and the youngest went on vacation to Thialand. So this is the second day in approximately 51 days that I've been alone. Mother of God.

This card shows a green expanse of solitary land. Some parts are a smooth carpet of moss-like grass, others are rock formations that form a peak leading to the night sky. The island is surrounded by a body of water that is as perfectly smooth and still as polished glass, reflecting the land and the sky. One side of the island is shrouded in darkness, the other in light because a large portion of the sky is covered by ominous dark clouds. Yet from the opposite side of the sky a silent veil of moonlight casts an ethereal glow. In the center of the island is a single tree. It looks like a mighty oak, but it has a gorgeous canopy of amethyst blooms. There is nothing at all scary of loney about this image, just the beauty of peaceful stillness. This tree has been left unattended by humans and it thrives. The purple flowers make me think of the crown and third eye chakras. The moonlight makes me understand the importance of quite reflection as it shines through the dense stagnation and congestion of the thick clouds and onto the pristine water.

I decide to do something I've been feeling pulled to do since I worked with Kiki as my life coach (God I miss her!) but have not done. I have taken a vow of silence today. At least until 6PM. If you know me, you know what a challenge this is LOL! Now since there is nobody here but the three cats, it sound super easy. But it's been four hours now, and doing this with purpose has a very different feel to it. A very good feel. And Goddess knows I am that crazy bitch who freely talks to herself and the cats lol!

I intended to ask tarot why card will help me and then do a shuffle to specifically ask which of the court cards would be whispering messages to my mind. Two cards fell out, one a court card. The 5 and Page of Swords. Damn. "Extreme negative self-talk" is what I instantly heard. The ultra critical self-destructive voice of ego that is nothing more than a fucking bully who points out everything I'm doing wrong, have done wrong, will do wrong, how fucked up things are and always will be. "You type too damn slow! You need to start making some money. You still haven't called your mother in a week? You've gained damn near 10lbs ya know. You should walk today, but you probably won't." Yada yada fucking yada.

This very direct Pg of Sw, giving his completely unaffected stare, offers me a choice delivered on a lapis lazuli colored cushion (pausing now to go get that stone and keep it with me today...) Continue listening to that shit or not. We can't kill off that member of the board of directors in our dome, but we can tune him out by tuning into more positive voices. I'm finding out how to do that by so many of the YouTube channels I subscribe to a few of which include anything by Abraham-Hicks and Tony Robbins. Another way is yoga each day for the past 8 days. I also will start reading a book one of my new British friends let me borrow that addresses this issue and teaches how to manage it. The air aspect of both cards also address the thoughts I've had about looking up videos on breathing exercise and mindfullness. I wonder if I communicate telepathically with any of the cats??


In the immortal words of one of my favorite bands, Depeche Mode:

Words like violence, Break the silence

Come crashing in

Into my little world
Painful to me

Pierce right through me










Monday, July 21, 2014

Dancing Messages From Oshun

I'm currently in the UK on an extended stay. I'm so fortunate to be able to have this opportunity. I've met some wonderful people and gotten a chance to do some very cool things. In spite of that, I've been pretty far down in the dumps lately due to my dog Selene transitioning to the next existence only two weeks after my arrival. That has caused the ongoing issue of back pain to be exacerbated. It's been hard for me to find any motivation which feeds the depression and anxiety. Ugh. Then enter the guilt of being a house guest trying to fake happiness. Just some really low vibration bullshit, ya know. But I've been trying to raise it in a variety of ways. The yoga is helping a LOT. I've been doing an oracle card each day and today I got New Moon - Promise.

We see a couple sitting arm-in-arm on a bench watching the sunset and give off the last of its vibrant golden rays. As it melts into a large river or lake, hues of pink-ish lavender introduce the coming of twilight and allow the silver sliver of the Goddess in Her new moon phase and the tineist point of light of the evening star which is actually the planet Venus, goddess of love and beauty. The new moon is a time to start new projects, to put our energy into any new ideas or old ones we haven't done anything about but still feel drawn to. A lunar cycle is 28 days. This makes me think of the 30 Day Yoga and Plank Chalenges I've started already. There are a couple more that I'm drawn to and this tells me to go for those as well. Each of these challenges are like promises I make to honor and assist myself each day, and they promise to bring about results. As I write this it is during the waning moon, so the new moon won't be until next Monday the 29th. Which is funny because the following day I will be catching the train to spend a week in the seaside town of Mevagissey, so a new journey to visit new friends ushered in by the new moon sounds like this promises to be a good experience. I really like how the creator of this deck, Steven Farmer explains the meaning of the new moon's promise:


I also asked the tarot which card would help me to feel encouraged and inspired today. It gave me the Page of Cups (Legacy of the Divine by U.S Games) If I write out the lessons for the lessons for the King and Queen of Cups today, I will have finished the majors, wands and cups suits. That will make me feel a sense of accomplishment. I also heard in my head to be open and accept any loving messages, allow them to brighten my day and inspire me. Be gentle with my inner 7 yr old, she's super sensitive. Judging that fact will be toxic. Today needs to be all about the love and be open to receiving it.

I go down to the kitchen and there is a bee, just hanging out in the sink. I feel the presence of Oshun. The bee floats over by me. I put on my YouTube playlist of songs the honor her. The bee makes a few circles and then I thank it and gently escort it out the window. Wow. A message, from the spirit who is the Orisha of love and beauty. She is also over prosperity, abundance, laughter, music and dance. One of her sacred symbols is the river.

*green tea, honey, citrine crystals and a gris-gris bag my friend Ren made before I left New Orleans*


If you are interested in learning more about Oshun, I invite you to check out this gentelman's podcast on BlogTalk radio. A wealth of information! I'd only heard excerpts before, but today listing to the entire thing, I learn how he explains the connection between Oshun, Aphrodite, Venus and Laxshmi (who I am so be,see as to have come to me and offer her assistance as well last week!) Of the many things he speaks on, he introduced me to laughter yoga. Who knew!?

As I started to type this post, the most perfect song ever came on. It's an old 80's tune I love, Shout To the Top. I never really paid attention to the lyrics until today. The music is the happiest that speaks to exactly where my spirit is today and where I want it to be. So before I could write this, I decided to stop and honor mySelf and Oshun by dancing and sing it like my life depended on it. Damn did it make me laugh and feel better! I'm most appreciative she made me turn on the radio app only a few moments before hand.


Shout To The Top Lyrics

from The Sound of the Style Council

I was half in mind, I was half in need

And as the rain came down

I dropped to my knees and I prayed

I said, "Oh heavenly thing, please cleanse my soul

Ive seen all on offer and Im not impressed at all"

I was halfway home, I was half insane

And every shop window I looked in just looked the same

I said, "Now send me a sign to save my life

Cause at this moment in time there is nothing certain in

These days of mine"

Ysee its a frightening thing when it dawns upon you

That I know as much as the day I was born

And though I wasnt asked, I might as well stay

And promise myself each and every day

That when youre knocked on your back and your lifes a flop

And when youre down on the bottom theres nothing else

But to shout to the top, well we're gonna shout to the top

We're gonna shout to the top, we're gonna shout to the top

Hey, we're gonna shout to the top

Ysee its a frightening thing when it dawns upon you

That I know as much as the day I was born

And though I wasnt asked, I might as well stay

And promise myself each and every day

We're gonna shout to the top, shout

We're gonna shout to the top, shout

We're gonna shout to the top, shout

We're gonna shout to the top, shout

We're gonna shout to the top, shout

We're gonna shout to the top, shout

So when youre knocked on your back and your lifes a flop

And when youre down on the bottom theres nothing else

But to shout to the top, well, we're gonna shout to the top

We're gonna shout to the top, we're gonna shout to the top

And when youre knocked on your back and your lifes a flop

And when youre down on the bottom theres nothing else

But to shout to the top, we're gonna shout to the top

We're gonna shout to the top, we're gonna shout to the top

Hey, yeah, shout to the top



Published by

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Read more: The Style Council - Shout To The Top Lyrics | MetroLyrics




Tuesday, July 15, 2014

30 Day Yoga/21 Day Plank Challenge

I spent the day in London Saturday. I asked my guides to just lead me to wherever I was supposed to go. I found myself in an accupunturist's office by the end of the of the evening. I felt like hell and was in so much pain it was ridiculous. Given the past 7 years of working toward healing 9 damaged disks in my spine, please understand how much trust this took!!! In mySelf, my guides and Dr. Wang, who I just randomly found. Long story short, it was a very positive experience. Of the many things he advised me to do was to go back to yoga everyday. (Because my intuition, my former trainer and dear friend who did SO much to bring me healing over th years, and the tarot had never suggested the importance of this...) I knew beyond a doubt I'd get the 10 of wands/swords/the Hanged Man. Here is how this will benefit me.


Mind - 6 of wands - Those neurotransmitters will start firing properly and I can tell my old buddy Depression and Anxiety to miss where the sun don't shine! I will have more clarity and confidence and see myself as the amazing woman I am. Go me.

Body - Magician - (I chose to place this card at the bottom.) I will feel so much stronger and physically adept. This speaks to the mind/body/spirit/heart connection that Eastern philosophy addresses. To treat the entire being, unlike how in Western medicine the focus is symptomatic treatment which is so fucking foolish. But that generates more $,€, and £ baby. I think this card shows I'm in very capable hands with Dr. Wang. I am excited to be able to show him that I've progressed when I return next month.

Soul - The Empress III - (placed in the middle, where my soul is) My central focus needs to be on self-care. I have such a tendency to nurture everyone else but me. I'm instantly drawn to the swan and her cygnet. I had an amazing experience this past Sunday where I got to see Her Magesty's Royal Swan Warden tag swans! The purpose is to asses the health of the swans and ensure their population increases. They are gorgeous creatures and extremely protective of their young. Witnessing this was pure medicine for my soul. And yoga will be as well.

Bottom line - 10 of wands - Lol, and there it is. One of my primary indicators of back pain and accupressure. being a wand this shows me that yoga will help aliviate stress due to the fact that I feel the weight of the world is upon me most days. I'll be getting my energy/qui moving and feel far less lethargic and more revitalized.

Here is the nice YouTube lady I chose to follow for the 30 day yoga if you'd like to try it as well and a video on proper form for planking.




Lifting the Fog

I'm pleased to report that my tarot course curriculum is coming along! Not as quickly as I'd like for it to, but it is coming. I've written out the lesson plans for all of the majors, the wands suit, and most of the cups. Today was even slower progress than usual and it has me super frustrated. So I decided to ask th cards how I can improve my progress.

I first asked my Earth Magic Oracle what the energy of the day would be - Fog (veiled) - Well that explains how I'm feeling quite perfectly. As I see the sun's rays shining through and burning it away I realize that I just have to be patient and accept I feel confused and like I can't see where this is going to go, if it will go anywhere. The way will become more clear as I go through the day. Find things to remain positive and excited.


Jumper - The Queen of Pentacles - My personal significator jumped out as I was shuffling. This is such a beautiful version of it. I need to stay true to mySelf as I work on this project. It's so important for a Capricorn to maintain a solid sense of integrity with anything that their name is associated. I'm drawn to her plumeria flowers which represent beauty, charm and grace, three traits very much associated with Capricorn females. The beautiful pentacle shines like a star at her third eye chakra. All of this tells me to be patient with myself, be true to myself, and that will allow me to connect with Divine energy and convey messages from Spirit with clarity. This Queen also bodes quite well for the success of any business venture.

1. What will help me? - The Chariot VII - I need to see this as already accomplished. It is done. Like Jesse Jackson used to say, "Keep your eyes on the prize." This is really reinforcing what the Fog card said. When I get frustrated with myself, I get of course. Negative self-talk brings me to a halt. Some days I may make more progress than others, some days less. That's not what matters, only that I stay focused. I think creating a template for how I write each lesson will do that for me as well as my students as they work through each lesson. I also need to know when I need to take a break and do it without guilt. Just like when driving. If you're too tired, pull over and get some fresh air, a snack, take a nap. Then get back on the road feeling refreshed in stead of lethargic and pressured.

2. What's hindering me? - 5 of wands - Waaayyyy too much negative self-talk is just wearing me the hell out! I won't let my students beat up on themselves, so why allow it in my own head?! I'm using my own energy as a weapon against me. The only thing I'm creating is unnecessary drama,mkilling my spirit and getting me no where fast.

3. Bottom line - 3 of swords - I'm still so heartbroken about Selene's death. It is really fucking with my head. I swear everywhere I look I see people with their dogs. I've got to work through the grief, anger and guilt. Maybe I will dedicate the course to her. I won't go into what all that means right now because I don't feel like crying but I can see where it can help me to heal. I think this is the most beautiful 3ofSw of any deck and it really does capture the essence of the cards meaning.

This reading really touched on the issues I need to address and how to do that. I feel a lot more inspired now, thank you very much! And I love the gorgeous, vibrant jewel tones of both of these decks. The sunlight on Fog really draws my eye back to the QofP and the torche on the Chariot. I have to remain an open vessel for Spirit to work through me. Ashé.



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