Monday, February 28, 2011

Passion Pit

 I was going for my Initiatory Tarot of the Golden Dawn and realized the bautiful Star XVII card was facing me.  Then I heard and felt one of my guides pull my hand to my Universal Goddess deck. She said to me, "don't shuffle, no need. I 'll direct your hand." I open up the deck, and I'll be damned in The Star XVII in that deck isn't what I open up to!!  I am pretty sure I know which guide it is. She told me to pull a few more until I'd pulled 5 cards in total.  While all this is going on, a song I have never heard before comes on my Moloko Staion I created on Pandora called The Reeling by Passion Pit, a group I've never heard. It's all cloudy and rainy and cold and this song is one of those ones that make you forget that or the fact that you are in your living room and not at the club in a brand new pair of shoes from Bebe! So I just looked it up plus lyrics on Youtube. And now I'm looking at the cards again..... LOL!!!

The Star XVII, Ace of Cups, 3 of Swords, The Empress III, Temperance, and Knight of Pentacles. 

Oye vey..... lol!!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

3 Cards, All 3 Are 10's

I'm so tired, but I had to ask the cards about a situation. I wrote an email today and the very very short version of the story is that I  told certain someone today that I needed to distance myself from him because I feel more for him that he feels for me or is capable of showing. I was a big girl and made sure that I was very honest but not all "girl' and melodramatic and doing the emotional blackmail crap. So I asked the cards just now what is going on with him in light of that. I tried a little trick Rhiannon taught me where as to imagine a huge sailors rope coming from around me and crossing in a figure 8 and looping around him to feel his energy. (If you try this always be sure that at the end of the reading you are doing, imagine a huge pair of scissors cutting the rope and free the connection. You do not want to remain pulling and carrying around another's emotions like that! It's not healthy for either party.) Since there is such a strong bond between us, this was not at all hard to do with him. I instantly felt sick to my stomach and very heavy and confused. I used my Universal Goddess deck which is one of my very favorite decks and became the one I used for readings about him or us. Here are the cards:
 10 of Swords, 10 of Pentacles, and The Wheel of Fortune X

3 cards, all 10's. WTF.

An ending, a new beginning, and a cycle that continues. The 10 of Pentacles shows what I want. I'm 39, no kids and never been married. He's 37,  has 3 kids and is an amazing single dad. I want to get married. To him?? Not sure, but I at least want a serious, committed relationship with him to find that out. I love how warm and inviting the Japanese goddess Ben Satien is and that's what I want. A warm home filled with love and family and friends. We both love to have people over and eat and hang out. And this card is about family and legacy. I told him today that "I am not happy with how my life is going and that at 39 I need to get my head out of my ass and get my shit together". 10 of Swords shows how we both feel in a lot of ways. I'm not at all a victim in this, but I am sad because I don't want it to be this way. Take note of the gold ring in the water. He's sad because to quote the LWB "I am the innocent victim of a cruel curse. I am alone, afraid and desperate in this gloomy forest." Now though he would never in a million years say this, it describes a lot of what he feels. In addition to other personal issues, he is an Iraq War Veteran. That kinda says it all. And then there is The Wheel X. The those white flowers Arianrhod has floating about makes me think of how I threw caution to the wind by being extremely upfront in telling him what I did without any expectation. Hope? Yes, but no expectations. I live as the complete east coast and he one the complete west. If I were still a flight attendant, this would be totally workable. But as of the foreseeable future, I'm not one. She looks so free, and there is a certain freedom from taking the weight off of myself by being so upfront. The Wheel of Fortune is about karma and fate and the ups and downs of life. We have had many many ups and downs and there is an extremely strong karmic connection between us. One way is the fact that his mother who is on the other side talks to me so often. But I had to say what I did today. And I feel like those flowers are saying "let the chips fall where they may". The blue of her dress says be at peace with whatever happens.

I wonder what getting three 10's means!? I know 10's are all about starting over, re-generation. For me they are also about a transition. I see 9's as an ending, and 1's as a new beginning, but 10's as that in between phase of regrouping and transition from one phase to the next. Kinda like Purgatory for Catholics. And I am tired of feeling like I'm in limbo with this cat.

The bottom card is one that I so very often get with him, the 9 of Wands. (So we have three 10's and one 9......) I absolutely love this interpretation of this card! It is by far my favorite 9ofW in any deck. It is the goddess of the winter solstice, Angerona. The LWB says it so beautifully, " Silence is the mother that never asks questions but welcomes you silently between her benevolent arms when you are tired and uncertain." How beautiful is that. And since he lives in Portland, those evergreens covered in snow are so fitting. The snow on the wooden fence post to symbolize the rods is like telling him it's ok to stop fighting, lay down your arms, the war is over my baby. I see myself posed as Angerona is, welcoming him home, not asking pointed questions or forcing him to discuss anything, though I know he needs to free himself of the pain in his soul. And most of all, not judging, just greeting him with acceptance and love.

As far as E.D. , there is one

For shits and giggles, I decided to turn over another card. Don't you know it was the King of Wands. He's a Sag.

Celtic Cross Reading for Penelope Garcia

Synchronicity never ceases character to blow my mind lol.
So ya know I love myself some Criminal Minds (just about as much as Dexter I may have to say, and believe you me that is saying a hell of a lot!!) And  ya know how a freakin' adore the character Garcia. (I recently did a post on her and another character Morgan to interpret The Lovers VI card). The show is about FBI agents who do criminal profiling. So I was thinking that I should profile the characters I love so much since I want to make a list of them from various books, tv shows, and movies to apply to all 78 cards. Then today I found this fantastic teaching tool from Tarot Eon that blew me away! (link will be below) It sounds like it is gonna help me take my tarot skills to a whole 'nother level. And I'll be dog-gone if he doesn't use the word "profile". He basically says to create profiles on imaginary clients. You can also use people from the media, but Doug says that kinda goes against the whole point, which is to use your imagination. But I'm gonna go ahead and do it this way first as he advises you take a lot of time to create each profile and I just wanna get started. I am one be all fired up about something and then just flake out on it. But you want to act like it is a real live client who you are reading for.

Penelope Garcia
Very highly skilled computer expert. So good she hacked into the federal governments computers. So they took advantage of her skills in stead of imprison her and she works with a team of FBI criminal profilers called the BAU-Behavior Analysis Unit. Mid 30's and lives in a 2 b/r apartment in N.E. DC. She often shops in DuPont Circle and Commander Salamander and can be found at Eastern Market scoping out the most awesome vintage stuff on any Saturday she can possibly have time off to get there.

Though she is a total tech geek, she does believe in readers and astrology.

She's married to her work like all of her co-workers and they are her family, but she would love to be married and have a family to come home to. She needs as much normalcy as she can get.

She has a very deep emotional and romantic connection to her co-worker Derek Morgan, but they both choose to not act on it. Partially because of the conflict of interest at work where they are part of a team who saves many lives and can not be compromised, partially from their own fear of each other. From the outside, they are total opposites in every single way. Inside, they are as much alike as any two people can possibly be. They are two sides of the exact same coin and couldn't possibly be better matched. She

She needs to have as much around her that helps her escape from the horrifying realities she faces at work, so she dresses in an over-the-top whimsical fashion that is a cross between goth, vintage and her own very bright and fun style.

She's an extremist at everything. At being fun, outgoing, charming, witty, intelligent, compassionate, loving, loyal, and nurturing.

She easily connects with others and makes them feel safe with her warm and inviting, comical demeanor, yet feels safest from behind a computer screen. Her childhood was a rough one bouncing from one foster home to the next. She shields herself emotionally with her intellect and very sharp wit.

She is the best at her job and she knows it. She's absolutely beautiful yet has no idea of it. She is like a ball of sunshine with moon beams shooting out and a circle of stars sparkling in orbit.

So let's just say I gave her a general reading. I'll do the Celtic Cross spread, but the way my first actual teacher Glenda does it. Sorry that I will have to show the cards out of positional order. Lord and Lady I can not wait to have a scanner. So here's me, as Garcia's trusted reader that she sees a few times a year.

I chose the Gill Tarot because of it's bright fun colors and of the decks I have with me, this one seems like one she'd choose. If I had Tarot of the Sweet Twilight  I'd have chosen it. The majority of cards are either fire or water. A lot of passionate emotion, and thus at odds with herself on a lot of things. This shows how strong your are to not give in to impulses, but is it at the expense of your happiness? I do see all four elements are present so I think you are doing a decent job of balancing all of this. Three Majors are present, so we need to look at the karmic patterns that keep replaying in your life.

1. Where the cards want to start talking: 10 of pentacles-  It seems you've been thinking a lot about your future and wanting to something of value to leave behind. I'm looking at that QofC and the 3 of cups plus the AofW.... Girly I gotta ask if your pregnant??! No you say? Are you SURE!? Cause if you're not, you may want to use some serious birth control. In fact if I were you, I'd use two or three forms from the looks of these cards LOL! But anyway, Did you get a pay raise? Cause I see that as a possibility. That 10ofP says to me how happy you are at your job, and what a ray of sunshine you are around there in spite of all the darkness you guys are submerged in. You give so much of yourself and bring a lot of healing to everyone around you. 

2. What's is either helping or hindering the issue in question one: Queen of Swords- Even though you are not this particular Queen, she is such a strong part of you of you since you have Gemini rising. *I'm making that up* She is who you are at work, all tech and super-duper brainiac. This is you sitting at your desk and that mouse pad and keyboard is your weapon of choice. The pen is mightier than the sword lol. Again that bright yellow background showing the bright light you are that. Your presence is so powerful to make everyone around you better at their job because you take away the doom and gloom. Your contagious joy is like the voice of reason when you all are constantly analyzing situations that are so dark and seem to make no sense whatsoever. And this makes the people who sign your paycheck inclined to make sure you are well compensated because they know how much you deserve it and how much they need you. 

3. What is root of the issue: Queen of Cups- I gotta come back to this baby issue. I think you are missing JJ a whole lot since she left the team. I think you are also thinking about when she had the baby. That 6ofP keeps calling me back to it. It's like you are the unconditional love that is a constant give and take that she and her son share. Both of you are such mammas at heart who nurture everyone on the team. You are a woman who's life is so based on logic and tangible results, yet in this card your emotional side seems to being looking into that cup and feeling empty, yet she is surrounded by so much water. 

4. Recent past: Ace of Wands-  In the resent past you had some bright ideas in how to spend your birthday a few months ago. Oh you took that knitting class you wanted, how cool! I think you've also been thinking about some other bright ideas I'll touch on in a min LOL!

5. What's on your mind": 6 of pentacles- This card is about give and take, exchange of money. Oh you went to one of those clothing swap things, how was it?? I hear they are so cool! You say you got lots of great stuff huh, more of your rainbow colors you love to wear. I know you can't wait for the warm weather so you can go down to Eastern Market.  You should give Suzette a call and meet up with her there. Maybe you guys can go for lunch and swap stuff because you know she has some awesome really fun pieces of costume jewelry. I think that raise will come in the next 6 weeks.

6. What's possible in the near future: 4 of wands- Now... on to those other bright ideas I mentioned LMAO. Ok Chippy. In one reading you got the AofW, 4ofW, 3ofC, and The Hierophant!??!! I mean can we say "Married With Children"?!! Now let's stop faking moves, because it's just you and me here. I know how you feel about him and how he feels about you. You know the cards show what is most likely to happen based on what is going on in your life  at this time and if you continue to do things the same way. Well I say keep on keepin' on because I see that 10ofP as what you will have to leave the children you and Derek will have LOL!! There looks like there will be a whole lot to celebrate! 

7. What you don't want: 7 of wands- I see this card as what you don't want because doing "the right thing" sux. It's like that hooded cloak is how you have to cloak your feelings for Derek and vice-versa.

8. What's in your environment: King of Swords-  I think this is both a person and a situation. How is Hotch doing? I know he puts on a good front because he is the team's leader, but he is still hurting so much from his wife's murder. I also see that this means your pay raise will also mean they are expecting more from you, as if that were possible! Oh yeah, that's right. You did start working with the other team on Suspect Behavior huh.

9. What you do want: Hierophant V Again, since The Hierophant is the pope, and I see the AofW and the 4ofW so screaming marriage. And stop denying it woman, I'm your damn tarot reader LOL! And don't think that the icing on the cake of that King of Cups went unnoticed LMAO. But this card is also about your highest guide speaking to you and telling you to get real with yourself. As many shades of grey as there are in life, some things are black and white. Hang on a sec. Let me check something I saw online earlier.....Aha! This lady has such a great site!! She is awesome here's what she has to say about that staff that he is carrying:  'Nuff said Penelope! LMAO

"Alchemy is rife with Tarot symbols including the staff which represents polarity sulfur (male) and quicksilver (female) in alchemical iconograpy. This symbol also infers the union of of opposites woth the goal harmonization and  transformation."

*this was a direct quote from an amazing reader who's site I will put a link for called Tarot Teachings*

10. Outcome if things stay as they currently are: (this is done as a story line with 3 additional cards) - King of Cups, Temperance XIV, 3 of cups, The Moon XVIIISo we top it all off with that Scorpio man's card at the end. Like the king is pictured here on King of Cups, Derek tries so hard to be so controlled and even,  but that man is all raw emotion. And those fish just show me how his subconscious mind constantly goes back and forth with how he feels. And next to it we have Temperance XIV. It shows that patience you both exhibit given the situation. It also shows me that you are his angel that  gives him hope in the middle of a constant shit-storm. Didn't you tell me that after that  incident where he drove that ambulance with the bomb to save everyone and it was you on the phone who gave him the route to get to a safe space for when it went off, he said,  "Woman, you are my God-given solace"? And there you are,his angel under that rainbow. And this card also represents inter-racial couples ya know. HelloOOo! The 3ofC shows the the joy that is possible when you two get together, drinking champagne at your wedding. And that baby! Now The Moon XVIII  at the end shows me that you two will get together, but still keep it under wraps for as long as you can. But the emotional pull between you two is to strong to be denied or hidden for long. And that if you two let this slip through your fingers you will have the deepest of regrets.

This was so much fun to do! The Tarot Eon's blog has taught so much about letting go of my issues of "am I gonna do it right?" and the "rules" you are "supposed to" follow. I have got to remember that tarot is all about using our imagination to tap into the subconscious mind. The only rule is to not get caught up in rules. The only "wrong"way to read cards is read from a place of doubt and insecurity.  

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Playtime Is Over!

I was drawn to use a deck I almost never use. It was one Lo Scarabo came out with a few years back called Initiatory Tarots of the Golden Dawn (yes, for some reason it's "Tarots" with an S. Like in the movie Selina when her brother was like "they kept calling her Selinas, with an "s" Dad??" I think this will be the last time I write it that way lol.) Anyway, I asked what did I need to post about and a very interesting set of cards came up.

First is the Queen of Pentacles, which is my card since I'm a Capricorn. So I especially love the way she is done in this deck with all of the Capricorn symbolism. I was actually studying this card a few days ago and all kinds of things were popping in my head, yet today, not a whole lot. (Most likely because I should be somewhere quite where I can focus. Ya think??) When I first looked at her today she looked like a mannequin, so stiff and rigid. Now I hear "wish in one hand, shit in the other. Tell me which one fills up first!" As in, stop being so damn rigid and stuck in your set ways if you want to accomplish anything woman! She's just sitting on her throne, as I do everyday now for hours on end. All those stars above her head are like ideas that are sparkling but seem so far away. Yet the little goat is looking to the next card, The Lovers VI. (what an interesting lovers card huh? tee-hee!!!) He's looking toward the card of choice and passion. And I just did a whole thing on The Lovers VI a few days ago. There is a whole lot of action going on in that card too. Now though girly on the card looks like she is a "poor, helpless, damsel in distress", that is NOT AT ALL the vibe I'm getting. First off, the big scary monster is an imaginary creature, meaning my fears seem huge and terrifying, and as real as they seem, they are just my imagination. In Buddhism it's called the "devilish functions". They are the things that hold us back from living our lives to the fullest and believing in ourselves and that we can create anything in life we want, including fear. And fear is an absolute sure-fire guarantee to get me to stay stuck and trapped in a  situation I need to move on from. Then there is dude, all strong and powerful, coming out of the clouds to "save" chippy who can't get herself free. Give me a damn break! This whole scene to me looks so staged, like Girl is not a helpless victim, like when she has had too much, or maybe even had enough, she is gonna stop the scene. This girl is not in real danger and she is nobody's victim. She is the one who is really running the show. The chains around her ankles look loose to me. So if she stands up all the rest of them will just slide off and she can get up and put on a pair off jeans and boots and a turtle neck and continue with the rest of her everyday. It's telling me playtime is great, but it needs to be over for now. I need to choose to attend to the other things I am passionate about. Maybe the guy is Mercury, the messenger god, and since he is at the top of the card he is piercing through the fog in my head that causes me to not think clearly, to think of all the negative reasons why I can't get off my ass and fight harder. That I restrict my own Self. This guy is ready to slay a humongous, murderous sea dragon for Chippy, he'd do anything to save her. How bout I feel as passionate about myself and my life and think that whatever I'm afraid and no matter how scary it is, I am worth the risk!!!

Looking at the 7 of Wands from this deck it confirms all of that. This cat has said enough is enough and I am bustin' loose! He looks like Thor. I wonder if Loki ever captured Thor and he had to use his strength to break free? I've been getting this card a lot lately too. I checked the LWB and it says "Valor. The capacity to navigate through any situation. Spirit of freedom." Break free woman!!

The card on the bottom is the damn Knight of Cups. Dear Lord God......Am I really that entrenched in victim mentality??? What an ugly, but clearly much needed wake up call. Maybe it also means that if I follow this advice I'll be in the loving relationship I really do want but haven't made any effort at because there are so many other more pressing issues in my life I need to take care of first.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Wake Up

As I was shuffling The Hierophant V jumped out. I immediately felt like it was the goddess Freya talking to me and telling to listen up.

The first thing I hear Her saying is from the 4 of Swords. Get off my ass and do something. And since the rest of the cards are all pentacles, it's about me making some damn money in spite of my back injuries. Pentacles are about money, but also health as well as tangible results. I see Jayne sitting at the table weighing out her money on the 7 of Pentacles. She's got coins, not dollars, kinda like me lol. But it's gonna take a hell of a lot more than some coins to get that house pictured on the 10 of Pentacles. (which oddly enough looks like Helen's house that I currently live in.) Which I so desperately want! I mean my own home. And a nice big house. Not because I want a big house just for the sake of saying I have a great big house. That just means more to clean! The only time I didn't have a room mate (damn did I learn to love that!)  was my apartment I had after Katrina forced me to leave my beloved New Orleans. It was a 450 sq ft little studio. After the big beautiful home I finally realized I was sharing with someone I SO needed to remove myself from, and then 8 months later losing my apartment I had moved to in New Orleans, my little tiny abode was heaven on earth. 3 of my friends were so wonderful and painted it for me in shades of purple and silver and I loved it. As tiny as it was everyone always commented on how warm and inviting it was, and also how safe it felt. I was a practicing witch at the time an had done some heavy magick to create that feel. So though it was a small little cheese box, it was a mansion to me. But I do want a sizable home, because I want to have enough room so that I can offer any of my friends and family a home when they are going through a major transition in life the way that people have done for me.  10's are about starting over, being in a transition, just as I currently am.  The 10ofP is also about leaving a legacy behind, something for posterity. Even though I am not a mom, according to Rhiannon's tarot readings I will be, God help me lol! At 39, I ain't seein' that!! But either way, I'd want to leave something for my loved ones.  But Freya is reminding me that if I don't get off my ass and do the hard work, I won't make that transition. There are so many earth cards that are trapping the air. Too stuck, to sedentary to allow ideas to flow. No fire means no energy, no drive (so sad, but so true). I think the lack of water cards means I need to feel more hope about my situation, maybe even more self love. Feel like I deserve to have the things in life that I want and need.

Freya says it's time to wake up.

*while I was in the middle of typing this earlier today, one of my dearest friends called me and told me of something going on in her life that is different from my situation but that these cards very strongly reflect. But she's a Queen of Swords, so nothing will keep her down for long lol.

Even though this song has a different meaning, it's what I heard in my head, and I going to start doing as my guides advise.

The Lovers VI

Do it already!

Derek Morgan: Good morning princess.
Penelope Garcia: [quickly says] Good morning.
[and keeps walking]
Derek Morgan: Pump, ya breaks.
[Derek beckones Penelope back to him]
Derek Morgan: Every day I say 'Good morning' and every morning you say 'I'll show you a good morning, hotstuff.' Everyday. But not today?
Penelope Garcia: I hate profilers. Do you know that?
Derek Morgan: Spit it out.
Penelope Garcia: ...Fine. I met a guy. 

I love to the tv show Criminal Minds. I've been known to watch 3 or 4 episodes back to back. I guess it comes from that need to know that there are people who work to keep the bad guys away. And I really love the characters. I remember seeing a deck of tarot cards online some years back where the creator used actors or people from the entertainment industry on the cards. So I decided to come up with a list of my own in order to help me connect with the cards on a more personal level. I had to start this with my favorite character of all on the show, Penelope Garcia. In fact, she is gonna be on at least two cards so far. Another of my favorite character is Derek Morgan. If you watch the show, you'll totally see how I chose them together for The Lovers VI card.

The Lovers card is about, It's also about choice. The love aspect is beautiful, wonderful passionate, romantic love. The choice aspect is one that must be made and is a huge decision that you face, and you feel quite passionately about it too. My two favorite characters on the show are so truly in love, it's like everything you ever (well, everything a least that I ever) dared hope for. They know each other so well, maybe even better than they know themselves. The connection of friendship between the two of them is so strong, the desire and passion is palpable! They trust each other implicitly and in their line of work as FBI agents who profile and track some of the most horrible criminals imaginable, that says a whole lot. The good times we share with people so often form our relationships, but the hard times are what can make them iron clad. These two have shared both extremes and the bond between them just keeps getting stronger. Yet they continuously make the choice to not act on what they feel and actually take things to the next level to an actual relationship. It drives me completely nuts but I can kinda understand why they choose what they do. There is so much at stake if they did choose to act on what they feel. Careers could be lost, maybe even lives. I feel pretty passionate about these characters, so I choose to keep watching them. I'll bet my bottom dollar that the producers of the show will choose to finally let them get together when the viewing audience no longer chooses it to be one of the top ranking shows on tv.

I've chosen to pull out The Lovers VI card from a few different decks I own and love to show some of the various interpretations of it.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Make a Wish

Ok, if I did have any followers, they'd be sick and tired of hearing about my damn room mate situation because at this point I know I am lol!

The 6 of Pentacles shows me the give and take in any relationship, and that I need to see that I give so much, even when I am in need. That a dollar sign can't be put on things of real value. I gave as much as I took. The Star is a house move in the gypsy meaning. Also shows how I have so many angles who always are looking out for me. I need to keep the faith and remain positive because things are working out to my advantage. And with that wishing well right next to a hand filled with coins, this is like it's screaming at me to make a wish and make it good because it's a guaranteed thing! And that 8 of cups is mean moving on out. I also just heard "don't take any emotional baggage with you."

Now this an odd twist. I was gonna be done with that, but I just looked at the 6ofPent and it's as if the coin was floating upward. I feel like an unexpected source of income is the meaning. And it's next to The Star....does all this mean Iwill hear something today about a new job?? Or about money for pro make-up school in Paris?? Or maybe my law suit being wrapped up so I can move and leave all of that baggage behind me?? When I remember that Doug from Tarot eon said that timing can often me judged from the card that really commands your attention, so does that mean it will be in 6 weeks from now??

And holy cow! The Sun is at the bottom of the deck!! Whatever this is all about, it sure is one positive reading! And with a2 out of 4 cards being major arcana, this seems to be pretty significant situation. Gonna have to keep my eyes peeled and my heart and mind open and gracious!

How can you not smile and be happy when you her this song??! LOL
Jag (short for Jaguar), likes to help read the cards and work on the blog LOL!

A kitty-cat and my Apple in my lap, tarot cards, and a gorgeous new nail colour ; what more does a girl need!

The Fool, The Moon, and the 5 of Swords

Ok, so it's the end of the day, but here's what I got, and it's kinda funky to me. Especially since I went over to my old residence and got more of my belongings. Now I must say, things went FAR better than I anticipated. I guess we are supposed to just act like nothing ever happened and we are all hunky-dory....what the hell ever man. She is quite clearly fine with the decision she made to tell me I needed to find another place to stay. Over the phone. Initially in a text msg. While I was 800 miles away. Without the slightest provocation. (Or so she says. Obviously;  she was provoked.) I have been praying very hard to forgive, meaning to let the hurt go and not carry it around like a medal on my chest. But our friendship will never be the same.

So having said all that, the cards I got just now are as follows: The Fool 0, The Moon XVIII, and the 5 of Swords. WTH!? The Fool is all about new beginnings, a fresh start in life. And the gypsy meaning is "new home". Well we see the validity of that! The first thing my eye was drawn to was the dark little island. I see it and I feel cold and closed in and alone. It looks like I'm just trapped by all that water. And then to be next to The Moon? Not making me feel any better. You need to understand that The Moon has always been one of my two favorite cards in any deck (the other is the High Priestess II, and too has a very strong connection to the moon.) I've always loved the moon that sits up in the sky. For as long as I can remember I've felt compelled to stare and the moon, literally drawn to Her. I have done what is called "drawing down the moon." For those of you who don't know what that is, I can make another post at some point to explain it. (I talk like I actually have even one follower on this damn blog lol) For those of you who do, then you know how much I love and respect the Moon. But to see it placed next to The Fool and the fact that I didn't get a good vibe from that card is not making me feel the usual love I get from the sight of this card. Does The Fool next to The Moon mean "new beginning or start to uncovering the truth"??  To add insult to injury, the freakin' nasty nasty 5ofSw is the other card!!! Eewww!! Or maybe Yikes!! To quote Rhiannon, "the massive argument card. No winning with this one. People absolutely attacking each other and they look absolutely evil! There's no good side." The Moon in it's "darker" aspect is trickery, lies, deception, hidden truths, and just plumb crazy madness. I see Uncle Al on the 5ofSw and his cigarette hanging out of his mouth and I am instantly remembering the scene in the Clint Eastwood movie Grand Torino (absolutely one of the best movies I've ever seen!!!) where that horrid little asshole kid attacks and burns one of the main characters in the face with his cigarette. One of the basic points to the plot was how destructive and cruel racism is. This particular scene was not about racism, but about just being cruel and a horrible bully to hurt someone because they won't do something bad or wrong that you want them to do. I will have to keep this in my mental Roladex of interpretations of the 5ofSw because that is exactly what this card is all about.

This reading is showing me that my suspicions about the situation with my former roommate are dead on. There are 2 majors out of only 3 cards because this was a very major event in my life and I have a lot of lessons I am learning. Her boyfriend is in fact a racist and and bully. The bad or wrong thing he wanted her to do was to throw me out. They have had the physical altercations that are pictured in the card. They both smoke. He has dark hair, she has light. She and I would have a wonderful day together, then he'd come over, as he did every single day, and the entire tone of the house would change. I'd stay closed up in my room, her in hers, him out in the living room being all miserable. That's why I saw and felt what I did in The Fool card, and why it was time for me to get out of that dark, closed off place. And how she felt too. The Moon just confirms that his shady ass is that hidden element that is at the root of our friendship being so damaged. And believe me when I say that both the emotional and the physical issues are very much kept secret! No one really has any idea of how bad this situation really is between the two of them. Now that I am trying to see the card combination meaning, The Moon in a reading (and damn sure it it is next to!) the 5ofSw to me says emotionally abusive relationship all day long!!! And then you wanna have The Fool next to that! It makes that card go from a wonderful new thing to meaning actually "playing the fool".  And the 0 on the card makes me think of emptiness, worthlessness, no value, and a place holder. Like, "I'd rather have this worthless zero in my life as a place holder than to face the emptiness I feel from being alone."

So something made me go to the Tarot Eon blog.....

The bottom card is the 7 of Wands. This shows the stress of this messed up situation. It also shows how torn I am. The 7 of Wands is a card of valor and honor. Of standing up for what you know is right regardless of how difficult it may be. I am so torn. There is a huge part of me that still loves my old room mate dearly and wants to protect her. There is an even bigger part that has tried for a year and a half to protect her and help her to see the reality of her situation and numerous times she has let shown me with crystal clarity she is choosing to stay in this relationship at all costs. I did everything I could do, even to my own detriment. Maybe she feels the same way about me. All I can do now is hope she will make better choices. Somehow, I sadly do not think she will.

For the love of God; guess who just text me. Like it's just another day, telling me a funny little story, like nothing bad ever happened. You gotta be kidding me....

Sunday, February 20, 2011

H.E.L.P. Spread

I was meditating this morning, something I never do, but know full well I should on the regular. I thought about how many people are always willing to help me throughout my life. Then I thought about the fact that I need to be more efficient at helping my damn self! Then I heard my guides tell help me form an acronym for the word "help". I chose the colour yellow because it represents caution and also the element of air. Caution should be used so your thought process doesn't become clouded and you loose sight of your own power. Too bad I have for so long. Might wanna do somethin' about that 'ay??....

H=Harness...What can I do to harness my own power?
E= Emotions... What emotion would best serve me?
L=  Leave... What or who do I need to leave behind in order to help my life move forward?
P= Problems... Since life will always have it's share of problems, what problems can I transform them into benefits and how??

1. 4 of Wands- Now the first impression I get is to laugh my ass off!!! Dude has his feet kicked up on the desk just chillin'! Now I'd have to say I need to do far less of this in order to get a good result. So let's figure this out.... The 4ofW is about celebration, 4's are about stability and structure, and wands are about energy, drive, passion, desire, and work. So...I guess I need to stop stressing and  relax from all that nervous, negative energy  I so often feel inside aka "anxiety". I guess all that damn worrying keeps me from using my energy and my time to recognize and be grateful for all the many blessings I do have. And from seeing the power I have. Or all the things I am good at, or would be if I would relax about  and stop thinking I'm not good at! So I can harness my power by just learning to relax! I mean hell, look at the socks Uncle Al has on in the picture! I never noticed those before LOL, but clearly they are the sign of a person who knows how to enjoy life and have some fun, regardless of whether he is at work or not.  I am a believer in The Law of Attraction (Buddhism without actually calling it that). If I keep harping on the things that make me stressed out, that's what I'll create more of. But if I can learn to calm down and kill the anxiety and put my energy into creating ways to create a life worth celebrating, then that's exactly what I will create.

2. King of Wands- Any emotion that makes me realize I can be successful and keeps me motivated and ready to do the hard work necessary to help myself. So I'd have to say hope and happiness.

3. 2 of Pentacles-Wow, this card says some really powerful stuff to me. Leave behind the mentality of poverty! That there is only a finite amount of wealth in the world as opposed to the limitless abundance available to anyone who taps into it and decides to access it. I see Uncle Al covering his face because he just got the NSF memo on his printed receipt. Ugh, God how that sux!!! I need to have a better relationship with money and finance. If I follow the advice I just got from the KofW I can earn the money I want and need. But I still need to learn to balance and create a budget.

4. 7 of Swords- Why is she looking down at the ground and why is she walking under this ladder in the first place?? I see the wall and I just heard Pink Floyd "we don't need no education. We don't need no forced control". Hold my head high, believe in myself and be more aware of my surroundings for starters. I also need to realize that life is one huge classroom, and we never finish or quit going to school. I've got to be more shrewed and take notice of the various tools I have at my disposal. They come in the very good disguise of problems. This card is the bad luck card. I've got to be aware of what situations I have around me, because with this card, Rhiannon says "it's a nasty card where people are talking about you behind your back and out to hurt you and doing nasty stuff to you, plotting against and backstabbing you. It's about lies and half-truths. People will be bold enough to even lie straight to your face!" It's funny because that is what I am currently going through these days. So I take from it that I have to realize there will always be negative situations and hurtful people. I have to get past the pain of those nasty swords and not let those people make me act the same way in retaliation because I am hurt or angry. To those who think the have power or authority over me because of that 2ofP message, all and all I am just another brick in the wall. They are just opportunities for me to see past the dark sarcasm in the classroom.

*in the explanation of the 7ofSw, there are a lot of lyrics to the song "Another Brick In the Wall" by Pink Floyd used as a means of interpreting the card. I also notice that once again there is an abundance of fire in this reading with a little bit of air and earth it needs to burn.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Full Moon Spread

I am so damn tired my eyelids are begging me to allow them to close, but I really want to try this spread I just found on the Tarot Dame's blog. She said she got it from Aclectic Tarot. I think I am just so excited b/c Rhiannon just messaged me to say she checked out the blog and was pleased and proud of my last post! Pretty freakin' cool to have the person who created the deck you used give you approval!!!! And since it is the last night of the full moon, I want to take the opportunity to use that energy.

Full Moon Spread

1. Moon Cycles: What old patterns am I still spinning around in?
Ace of Wands-- This is SO embarrassingly true! I get all hyped about something and all excited but don't ever finish shit! I look at the pyramids and see that i need to remember that to create anything of value and beauty takes a lot of follow-through and commitment. You can't just  get board or get disappointed or get lazy and just say screw it! There is always gonna be some bullshit to deal with is what the desert says to me. Conditions will sometimes be extreme and not working in my favor. A lot of hard work and sweat may be involved. But when I look at the green leaves sprouting out of the ahnk, it reminds me that I am the one to create new karma in my life. I have to stop getting caught up in negative thinking and seeing all the reasons why things won't work out, because that just creates the reality I don't want: things not working out! Bast is the goddess of cats. I have to stop with the victim mentality that is so unattractive and exhibit the confidence of a cat with 9 lives. I just got the image of a black cat walking along the top of a fence in the moonlight. He is confident he won't fall and if he does that he will land on his feet. Not taking advantage of the new creative opportunities I am given is such a lame pattern. And then I have nerve to wonder why I so often feel stuck! Ha!

2. Moon Magnetism: What am I attracted to?
Knight of Wands-- Big dreams and big time excitement that may be somewhat romanticized. I am attracted to being on the move, on the go and anything fun. The rainbow makes me think of "rainbow moments" which for met translated in to saying no when I need to. It just thought of how Susan said once that being grown is the ability to tell yourself no. There is no easy, quick fix in life. I've got to be more grounded and disciplined (note, there is not one earth card in the bunch!) in stead of flitting off to do what is more attractive and fun, yet not at all smart. Work first, then play.

3. Lunar Influences: How the moon affects me...
2 of Wands-- This seems kinda tricky to answer. I mean, I have always LOVED the moon and been so drawn to it. I used to stare at it when I'd say the Hail Mary as a child, having no idea about magick or The Goddess at that time. I see the boys fighting. Does the moon cause me to be more feisty?? Inner turmoil?? I just got the message that I need to block against psychic attacks. 2's are about choices, balance, decisions, equality. Wands are about passion, creativity, energy, drive. Am I more driven to create balance and choose to make decisions that create what I am passionate about?? I'm gonna have to study this one.

4. Old Man MOon: What in my past is returning?
7 of Wands-- Hopefully this means a fighting spirit that will never surrender to anything or one who will try to take away what is mine by intimidation or trickery. Or it can be the fact that I need to get my own place and the troubles surrounding all of that. I see the woman fighting with this guy, I feel like she knows him and he is trying to attack her so she has to defend herself and stand up for what's right. Or it can be depression I have to be so mindful of since it is so sneaky and tends to return in cycles.

5. Moon Dreams: What my subconscious wants to tell me....
6 of Cups-- Let go of old emotional baggage KrystenLOL!)

OMFG I AM SO PISSED!! I just wrote a ton of REALLY good stuff here and it has somehow managed to get erased!!!!!!!!!

I do at least remember that one thing was how much I miss being a F/A and I need to get on that shit.

6. Moon Reflections: Illusions and delusions
3 of Swords-- So this is about what is skewing me from seeing reality in a clear light. The first thing to jump out at me is the well in the background and it makes me think of The Star card in The Faulkner Tarot. That negative tape that goes off in my head of how bad things are or what heart aches I've had in the past keeps me from having hope and faith that no matter how unhappy I am or how jacked up things are, I have got to know that I am surrounded by angels who are constantly looking out for me, so do NOT get caught up in that hopeless mindset!! It's victim bullshit and it keeps me from living in the now because I'm so freaked out about the future because I'm still stuck on the past!! I see the three fates, and I am thinking of how I need to remember that fate is not set in stone. Our lives may be predestined, but our choices at every turn of our lives can change the course of our lives completely. I have to cut the cord to what keeps me living in the past or in a negative mindset. Because that's how I end up breaking my own heart.

Another thing I want to make note of is the E.D. There are 4 fire cards out of 6! There is 1 air, 1 cup and NO earth. To me this says that the air of the 3ofSw will encourage all that fire to keep me motivated and inspired. The one water card shows I am in an emotional place to a certain extent, but it is not controlling me or an unhealthy thing. The lack of earth clearly proves how up in the air my life is and how I so desperately want and need to be grounded, to heal my back, and to make some damn money!!!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Ceelo and I Say Fuck You!!!!!

This is how I feel right now. If anyone had EVER told me things would EVER come to this, I'd have called them a lying, dirty dog! I am shocked beyond words.

Making H's Wedding List

Hmm..not sure what to make of these (but that is why I started doing this, to learn how to break through the fear of "getting it wrong" or not being a "good reader". But to open up my subconscious and read the damn cards!)
Page of Pentacles, The Wheel of Fortune X and the King of Swords. When I first saw the adorable Leila who is pictured on the PofPent I saw her adorable princess dress and beautiful happy smile. The Wheel looked humongous and actually made me dizzy, and then to see Dave in his tux all = the fact that H has been sitting here making her list for her wedding guests.  The 7 of Wands is on the bottom. This reading is so exactly what is going on today lol! Most women think of their wedding day as their fairy princess day, and then there is Dave pictured in his tux is Eddie (Helen's fiance') and the Wheel and the 7ofSw is how she is feeling as she makes this list. It's a huge task to organize a wedding and her head is spinning from trying to make sure she remembers everyone and to try to keep from going overboard on spending too much money. Hence, the stressed out look on Uncle Al's face (the guy in the picture is named Uncle Al, a dear friend of Rhiannon Faulkner who created the deck) as he looks at the paper work on his desk.

Then when I think about the elemental dignities, it actually does confirm the divinitory meaning I got. There are 2 earth, 1 fire, 1 air. There is no water. Out of only 4 cards, there is one major arcana, 2 court cards, and only one pip.

The majority of earth shows me that money is a big factor even though H is pretty financially set.  The air right next to it shows the need to be pragmatic. That Princess is the inner little girl who is lost in the fantasy of it all, and pentacles need to have a set plan that they can rely on to feel at ease. That King says clear, smart decisions must be made, and a sword makes me think of how we have been saying "who's gonna make the cut" as we've been making the list knowing she has can't go over a set number of guests.  At $67  a head, some heads may have to get cut!

Hmph...and I started this off saying I didn't know what to make of these cards! LMAO

Molly had to come double check lol!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Today Was a Good Day

Ok, can't find a quite spot to do my reading LOL! But I can say for sure this is a wonderful reading lol! 8 of Wands, 3 of Wands, and 9 Cups. And the bottom card is the 10 of Cups. First thing that comes to mind is how the wands are coming up out of those dark storm clouds and into the bright sunshine and then you see in the next card how it looks like a the continuation of that scene. The Sag symbol says how lucky I am, and also that I  need to call Jacqui b/c it's been way too long since i have! For some reason the flags on the back of the ship on the 3ofW reminds me of the ones you see on a used car lot LOL. What the hell?? And the top balloon looks like an ice cream cone lol! And the 9ofC is the wish card. All that food makes me think about the fact that H (Helen) and I are going to lunch since the 10ofC in this deck is her animals and house in the picture.

When I look up the meaning of the elemental dignities I really am reminded of how powerful of a tool that can be to give readings more depth and understanding. The sites that Catherine (Tarot  and Doug ( have are so educational! I very strongly suggest if you are interested in expanding your tarot skills no matter how new or how experienced you are at tarot! (link to Catherine's site will be below this post) This is what they say of Fire/Fire/Water or Water/Fire/Fire 3 card spreads:

"These triads are moderately strong.
There’s a real desire and impetus to move forward and get things moving with this combination, but it’s really being dogged by an emotional tug, perhaps a conflict of interests; guilty feelings of putting work before love maybe? However, it’s still action over emotion.
Douglas: The central card will still have a slight influence over the client’s life. This triad brings images to mind of eagerness and enthusiasm for a project just begun but…, resistance to that project. As with most things, despite what we want to happen, things inevitably slow it down; whether that is the client’s inner emotional resistance, or the environments apathy. Overall, things move forward, but expect resistance."

This makes so much sense! (checking elemental dignities E.D. almost always  does) I do have to be mindful not to let my emotions of anger and sadness get the best of me given my current situation (water) and keep my ass in gear and moving, stay motivated and energetic (fire) NOT apathetic  about my life and the fact that this is really a whole new opportunity with a lot of possibilities!
------So not that I'm home and it os like 6 hrs later, I can see even more how the cards were talking to me. The 8ofW was because we were zipping all over today. Helen is a very zippy one lol. That card also means messages, letters, phone calls ect. often from a romantic interest. I got a really cool email from a certain someone how still makes my heart skip a beat and makes me very tingle-y in naughty places ;-D

 The 3ofW was to show how well we do get along,  I did have several moments were I truly felt so much gratitude for my life and the things I DO have. Like when I saw the man crossing a very busy street in his wheel chair. Or the homeless man on the Blvd. Or how generous H is!!! She got me the coolest, schnazy new slippers that are made like boots, furry, black and with silver sequins!! HA!! How freakin' cool are they!!!

And the 9ofC is to remind me of how my wishes actually have come true from all of this crap. I SO did NOT want to have to go back "home" and see my roomate's b/f!! We got along so well (or so I thought...) with the exception of him!!! I have been wishing to have pets, and now I live with 3 (2 of whom look like the ones on the 10ofC) and possibly 2 more yet to come LOL! I wished for a non-smoking house and always felt so guilty that my old roomate tried so hard not to smoke around me (the b/f so did not!) and H hates smoke as much as I do, so that is perfect!

I'm a very lucky girl and today was just as wonderful as these cards said it would be!

ATL-PHL: Moving Day 2/15/11

I'm on the plane right now on the way back to Philly. Today's message is  instantly clear to me. Don't worry about the things that have brought me down or could keep me in a state of depression because I have so much to be grateful for. I have created a lot of good fortune and I will be receiving a lot of it today.

I got the 4 of Cups, 6 of Pentacles, and the 9 of Wands. (very surprised there are only minor arcana.) When I look t the 4ofC today it's like I see myself seeing things that I want but I don't have. I have to believe that I can acquire anything I want, I just have to believe that it is possible, focus, and work for it. It's also saying to me that I can not sit around the house anymore, I have got to be active and go do things in spite of how broke I am right now. The 6ofP is the fact that Helen has offered for me to stay with her. And hell, I won't have to every say again that I actually live in fucking New Jersey LOL!! Ugh!!  I also feel like that may be her mamma Carol saying she wants Helen to do it. And not just Helen, but how many wonderful people who love and care about me and are so kind a gracious to me! I am one lucky ass chick!!! The 9ofW says for me to not be defensive and angry or bitter, but to use my energy to get my life on the track I want to be on.  I do have somewhere to go for now. In this deck, this card represents the Winter Solstice; it's always darkest before the dawn. That now is the time to let go and release old patterns that aren't good for me and plan for the future I want to create. 9's are about transition and wands are energy, creativity, drive, work, passion. I have a lot of hard work ahead of me, but I also have a whole lot to be grateful for.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Make An Assessment!

I just listened to my dear Rhiannon's new tarot radio show on BlogTalkRadio and one of my fellow approved Faulkner Tarot instructors, Kelley Trewin, did a wonderful show today. So I asked my guides "How can I be a better reader? I know I am meant to be one, but what do I need to do to make it a reality?" I for some reason have a hard time with reading from this deck in spite of how special it is to me. I'm not sure if it's because it's so different from any other deck or if it's because Rhiannon has offered me an amazing opportunity by the fact that she and her guide Brian selected me to be a representative of her beautiful labor of love and that makes me feel even more insecure and the self-imposed pressure to "get it right/not mess up". Now when I think about the msg I received today from my daily guidance from Neil Donald Walsh, it really makes it all come full circle that I just need to get my head out of my ass. (I will add it somewhere in the post and add his link. Scary how spot on he so often is!).

 But here is what my guides told/showed me.
Knight of Pentacles, King of Swords, Justice II
The very first thing to jump out at me was the KofSw and I heard "Be decisive and clear! Cut the shit and just do it! If you don't believe in you, who the hell else will? Make an assessment (a phrase/joke I have with a certain KofSw man!! LOL) and be direct b/c we are with you! Stand your ground with your doubting voice and don't let it just stone-wall you! You are a tarot healer, but you have to start to heal yourself first. Stop judging yourself so damn harshly!" Holy shit that's a mouthfull huh! The KntofP says I need to be more structured and that this blog will be a great way for me to do that and to learn more. About myself, my cards and my abilities. Again the message to be patient with myself. Tarot is a way of life for me, so just take my time and continue to learn and build on my skills. The Justice card, the scale on the left that looks so dark stood out first. I feel like being next to the KofSw it's saying how much all of this court crap weighs on me so heavily and how it has gotten my whole world so out of balance! So I could blame my struggle on that blocking my gift, or I can look at it as a Buddhist and how we see true happiness. That there will always be struggles and obstacles, it's up to us to look at them in a way that we do NOT let those things determine who we ARE or the quality of our life. Or how amazing of a tarot reader I am. It's all about believing in my self and my limitless potential and that I a totally worthy of success! 

The bottom card is The Hierophant V. 5's are so....."interesting" Lol! It just depends on how you look at them: A. a bunch of bullshit!! Or 2. Unique and special opportunities to make much needed changes. I really love the way Rhiannon has chosen to portray this card, very unique. She says it's like God yoking you up and saying cut the crap and get real, the time is now!" I feel like it is reminding me that God/Goddess/Spirit and all of my guides, including the people I love who are now gone are always there to help me read. Just ask them to help, trust that they always do, and most importantly trust myself and see myself as the beautiful guide for so many others that I was created to and have chosen to be. 

Electric Feel

I had an interesting dream last night. I'm so glad to be dreaming so vividly again!! There was an older, light-skinned lady and she was tell me about her amazing life. I could hear "Rebel Rebel" in my head for real as I saw her as a young girl passing out flyers on stage while The Stones and David Bowie performed. (how crazy is it that I just saw Mick Jagger preform on The Grammys!) Her husband was in the Navy. Then I saw her yard outside and there was a beautiful rose bush full of bright coral blooms. We were in her house and my mom was in the other room. The lady and I were in the kitchen. She whispered in my ear, "I own 3 houses. A girl has to always be prepared to take care of herself. " Somehow I knew she was trying to let me know she was leaving one to me.  Then I look out the window and see a helicopter flying very low and about to crash in the front yard. I ran and saw Mom running ahead of me. We saw the pilot's face, how he was trying to remain calm but it was inevitable and it came twirling to the ground.
We see the light from the blast and we go outside, only now there isn't a yard but a dock and lots of water. The Navy and Coast Guard are there. They tell us to jump. Mom says she won't because she can swim (the woman is petrified of water in real life!) and I can't. I remember thinking "WTF didn't I take swmming lessons!!?" I see lots of rescue boats and a large bridge not far away. (Then the barking of chihuahuas in real life woke me up as they tried to attack the Jehovah's Witnesses LMAO!)

4 of Wands, Knight of Wands and 2 of Swords with the 10 of Cups on the bottom. (second time today of the 2ofSw). First thing I saw was the rainbow and heard "rainbow moment". (Since I have no scanner and the photos suck, you can't see the dam rainbow, but it's there. I'll add a link so you can see a few images and get a feel for how gorgeous the deck is.) While I was here in Atlanta I had what I have now named "a rainbow moment" which I had while talking to Jeanette and actually forming a friendship with her. We were talking about me telling this really cute but totally weird-vibe-having guy that I was not going to go out with his ass. It all translates into me learning to say No! If I mean no, to say NO and mean it and be fine with it! The happy, safe home life pictured on the 10ofC is so my new room mate's house! Her cat and dog look just like this and are the best of friends and sleep together just like that! I think it all translates into making better, smarter choices(2ofSw) and taking decisive action to live my life with passion and vibrancy (Knt of W) to have the home life and marriage I want.  The Knt of Wands is so the kind of man I want! (Still got it for one in particular but that is a whole 'nother crazy story of what will never be in spite of how he makes my heart feel. And a whole lot of other parts on me!!! DAMN the man is amazing!!! Ugghhh!! I gotta hit that at least one more time!! but this is another long story for another time.) Well, with the maturity of the King of Wands!! But this is who I want to cultivate within my own self and thus attract! This knight is the one is is like electricity! He's fun and alive and will skydive,(as pictured on the Vanessa Tarot!) have fun, a joy to be around, funny, out going, and crazy hot passionate hot sex! (Mmmm..I can see Rain from Ninja Assassin in the knight's helmet today!) To plan and execute them better so I am prepared for the unexpected shit that can change your life in an instant. Also so that when I  am old and grey I can look back with no regrets and say I have lived a wonderful life worth living and did all the things I truly wanted. And there is SOO much more I want to do!

Omg, I can't believe what song just came on Pandora!! I have got to add the lyrics so as to really make it clear how profound this is LOL!!!

Electric Feel by MGMT
All along the western front
People line up to receive
She got the power in her hand
To shock you like you won't believe
Saw her in the Amazon
With the voltage running through her skin
Standing there with nothing on
She's going to teach me how to swim

Said oh, girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl
Turn me on with your electric feel
I said oh, girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl
Turn me on with your electric feel

All along the eastern shore
Put your circuits in the sea
This is what the world is for
Making electricity
You can feel it in your mind
Oh, you can do it all the time
Plug it in and change the world
You are my electric girl

Said oh, girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl
Turn me on with your electric feel
Said oh, girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl
Turn me on with your electric feel

Do what you feel now
Electric feel now
Do what you feel now
Electric feel now
Do what you feel now
Electric feel now
Do what you feel now
Electric feel now
Do what you feel now
Electric feel now 

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Lessons Learned

The first thing I thought of when I saw the first card was my sister in Atl who I have been visiting. It's the Chinese goddess NuKua (my sister is half Chinese). The 8 of Pentacles is all about learning, education and promotion. As I looked at the picture I thought of how I taught her about Nichiren Buddhism. Also how much I have learned about my life while I have been here and how much she has taught me, especially about the amazing, unbreakable bond we have after almost a lifetime of friendship. Of how she helped me to pull myself out of the nasty mud of depression I was in, and put up with my crazy ass and still loved me through it . So I decided to look up some more info in NuKua and will add a link to that. Thalia Took, creator of The Goddess Oracle Deck, said, "She is the tempering influence that calms situations and brings level-headedness." (I have been watching the creation of this deck for years and can NOT WAIT for it to be complete so I can be one of the first to purchase it!) This really sums up how my sister has helped me deal with the craziness that has just unfolded in my life. I also notice the huge bright light that looks like a portal that the people are walking into as they leave Her. It says to me that I am leaving ATL to walk into a very bright future.

The next card says the choice is mine, the 2 of Swords. It also says not to be angry with my old room mate, to choose to bury the hatchet that I literally have been feeling with the stabbing pains between my shoulder blades.  Also not to forget the lessons learned and to make much better choices about my life. The presence of earth cards and an air card shows I need to not be so fixed and be more flexible so I can take decisive action, something I suck at.

The  on the bottom of the deck says the bottom line is to see how very fortunate I am and actually have always been throughout my life in so many ways no matter how dark things may have been and to be grateful for all the many blessings I have been given and the good fortune I have created.
Also how very fortunate I am that my sister found me after all these years!!!  Aces are all about new beginnings, and we have a whole new beginning to our relationship. And I have a whole new beginning to my life. The A of P is all about something firmly rooted that continues to grow and prosper and produce tangible results that are quite valuable.
Spirits of the Cosmos Quilt, Nu Kua This woman's quilting I found on Flickr is so beautiful and I really like her interpretation on the Goddess NuKua.

Dj Krush Feat. Esthero - Final Home (Piano Mix)

What a sultry, seductive, beautiful song....

And I think this is the perfect picture to go with it....

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Like Night and Day

I am really trying to go more with an intuitive approach to my readings as opposed to the standard book meanings. So the cards today instantly made me think of the situation with my room mate. The 2 of Pentacles instantly said to me "like night and day" which is what I have been saying about her actions. This is SOOO not like the person I've known so well, lived with and shared so much with!! I see the balancing act going on in her going back and forth inside to make this decision and the back and forth that she has been going through with the "who" that I know is at the root of this decision. Her head is spinning. And that mutha fucker's card is the other one I pulled, so that confirms my though process. The King of Cups. It's like the king on the card is sitting on a pedestal, which she puts him on, the cup raised like he is expecting her to fill it. If I still did reversals, I know this would have come up reversed! The K of C at his negative aspects is a very moody, emotionally manipulative, selfish, controlling, vindictive person. (Ask me how I know!! Only mine was a Scorpio not a Cancer! Yikes!) The look on her face is somber, and God knows his ass is always so miserable and grumpy! Which sux because she is so vivacious and full of love and life, but he sucks that right our her her, and that's what the waterfall looks like to me. Her energy just being sucked and drained. The bottom card is the 8 of Wands, which explains how fast this all jumped off. It confirms that I have to be a very big person and get over my hurt feelings and stay in communication with her, that it's not about me right now, crazy as that sounds. I don't like this shit. Not one bit. I think that oddly enough, this is all gonna be a good thing for me, but a very bad thing for her. Hell, maybe the butterflies even mean that it will transform both of us to something even better. 

Friday, February 11, 2011

Black Cat Before Bed

Few things make me happier than black cats. So I will end this very stressful day with a happy image, especially since I just got off the phone with one of my chicks who is a Halloween baby and always makes my ass laugh. Thx Dawn!
Meet Morticia

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Let My People Go!

I got this spread from a wonderful blog I've been reading from the Tarot Dame and give her 100% of the credit for it. It's the Law of Attraction spread.

1.What am I currently attracting right now? (due to how I am currently vibrating)
Ace of Wands Holy shit! For someone having as crappy a day as I've had this is quite the pleasant surprise! It's the Bast, goddess of cats. She is telling me it is time for me to start out on the path of independence and bravery. To hold my head high and see all this crap as a golden opportunity to spark my creativity on how I want to make the life I want. I hear to things: the 70's disco song Fire In the Sky and the bible quote "let my people go!" I've been leading a dry barren existence and all this is really a way out. I wonder if those pyramids mean Vegas??

2. What do I need to do to raise my vibration to the next level?
Princess of Swords Be direct and clear! SET GOALS AND KEEP MY EYES FIRMLY FIXED ON THE POINT OF VICTORY!!! The new moon says to me that new opportunities are on the rise. The Goddess is watching over me. Don't be afraid of the uphill battles, don't be discouraged! 

3.What will I attract when I do?

Justice XI A firm grasp of the life I truly deserve. I will not have to bow down to anyone again! And I will change my karma. This is Ma'at the goddess of justice and karma. And since this card is here and it's next to the Pnc of Sw I really think that my whole court case crap will be ending sooner than I thought. Actually, Rhiannon said in 10 weeks and that was like 3 weeks ago, so we'll see what happens.


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