I Just Wanna Fly

I just bought myself a birthday present for mySelf. On Christmas Day I will turn 40. I'm having very mixed feelings about that. I am not where I had hoped I'd be in life by the time I hit 40. Not by a long shot. I made the determination a few weeks ago that I would not go into the second half of my life with the same crap that has held me back in the first half. So I get this notification from Groupon for an amazing offer. (Groupon is a deal-of -the-day company with offers specific to a particular local area. Anything from manicures to getting your house painted to local attractions and they are most often really great sales). Well I see a deal a few days ago for something I have always wanted to do for as long as I can remember, but never really thought I'd get to do. A total Bucket List kind of thing. Flight lessons! A 3 hour orientation and lesson for only $120! Now I know damn well I can't afford this. So for the past week I have gone back and forth on whether or not to do it. With 40 min left to take the deal or not, I whipped out my Tarot of the Sweet Twilight and asked for her advice. 

*(Uh.. as I am now proof reading this, I just noticed it was 40 min left to decide on my 40th b/day present!)*

1. If I do get it- 10 of swords- At first I was like WTH?! Then when I studied the picture, I saw the sweet little angel with two ponytails kneeling in the graveyard looking at a crypt and holding 3 roses. The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon. When you fly an aircraft, keeping an eye on the horizon is extremely important. In fact, there is a gauge in the cockpit called the virtual horizon. The sun climbing up to push back the night sky said to me that this was a time for me to awaken to the life I truly want to live. Ever since I was a little girl who wore ponytails, I have wanted to fly, hence becoming a flight attendant. When I was 7, my dad could point to an aircraft and ask me if it was a C-130, an F-16 or an F-21 and I could tell him. And at about 14, I decided I wanted to skydive. I figured if I could do that, what could I possibly have to ever fear again in my life! As I looked at the card, I thought about when the King of Swords went skydiving. (Even if there were not this specific person who this card represents, i would still associate the KofSw with a pilot or anyone in aviation.)  The person who went up in that plane was NOT the same man who came back down. I mean when you watch the video, you see the total transformation in the depth of his eyes. His soul came to life. The 10 of swords is about a definitive ending. It's time for me to bury all of the fears, and there are many, that have slowly been killing my spirit for so long. If I go ahead and buy this, among other things, it will be facing the fear of not having enough money to do the things in life I need to as well as want. It will be an amazing entrance to Phase II.

2. If I don't get it- 5 of chalices- The first word that always comes to my head when I see this card is "regret". And look at this girl. Just laid out, asleep/drunk. I'm not a drinker, but I do battle depression and sleep is my go-to drug of choice. I look at the card and it's like those stars are moving past. Like the world, time,  is moving on, but the girl in her blue (aka sadness) dress is obviously not participating. The ocean is right there, tide rising. She may just drown in her sorrows and not eve be conscious of it until it's too late. No one can save her but herSelf.

3. Additional information- 2 of chalices - I usually say "Advice" for this position, but tonight I heard in my head, "additional information". This card is saying for me to do what I love, what makes my heart sing. The caduceus says to me that this will be so very healing for me.  But I am also wondering if there is some major romantic situation which will come out of this somehow. Or maybe it's just saying do what I truly love. But then I look at the last card...

4. Card at the bottom of the deck- 4 of wands- Hmmm... I really do wonder if this will somehow lead me to finding that special someone I do not yet know, but that I want to marry. Like, will I start taking flight lessons on a regular basis and meet some cat who also flies while I'm taking a little trip somewhere?? Either way, doing this will give me a lot of satisfaction and a reason to celebrate and rest easier knowing I listened to that fire in my spirit. And I a right at home in an airplane! (Lisa, I know you are cringing at the thought reading this LOL!)

I had to ask once more, so I turned to my Oracle of Shadows & Light. She gave me #11 The Dried Flower Fairy

Yes, I did purchase it lol. I have until April 18, 2012 to use it, so I will let you all know when I do. *smile*

You know my thing is to add a music video at the end of most of my posts. That is because I usually hear songs in my head when I am reading cards. I'm sure you can guess what song obviously came to mind for this reading. But when I went to look for the video, I couldn't find the original, real one done by Sugar Ray. In looking for it, I found an even better one that is just perfect for this! 

Relationship Reading For a Client: Will My Ex Boyfriend and I Get Back Together?

This was a reading done via email request. The querent wanted to know if she would reunited with an ex-boyfriend.

You have a pretty nice blend of all 4 elements in this reading, so I see that given the fact that there are more swords than any other, I'd say that there was some stress and conflict. Also that communication may have been an issue. The number of wands shows me that there was/is passion, 2 cups show me that a lot of emotion or love was involved. But there is only one pentacle, so a lot of growth is needed and stability and security are issues that need to be addressed.

1. Where things are right now- 9 of Swords- Right now things are almost a dead issue and that has lead to a lot of stress. But there is something that is the corner stone of the relationship and that holds one or both of you in this. Did you all meet at church? I feel like faith, religion or spirituality was a big part of the relationship. (Somehow church was involved.) I also feel like someone was truly heartbroken and still carries that pain. It needs to be addressed and given time to heal before any progress can be made. 9's are about things coming to an end. The good thing about that though is that if you bury the ghosts of the past, you can have a fresh new start. But let go of the baggage, whatever that may be.

2. What helps or hinders the situation- 4 of wands- Time away from each other has been good. Relaxing and kicking back, enjoying the moment, not stressing is what will help things. Going out and having a good time but not putting any strong expectations on the outcome. Doing fun things that you both can relate to and enjoy, but nothing heavy or real demanding. I feel like the subject of marriage is an issue that weighs heavily and adds anxiety. Dating and enjoying the experience of each others company is what is needed here. Dinner with friends, go on Living Social or Groupon and find really cool, different and interesting stuff will help you both to really learn who each other is, yet not make anyone feel like they are under a microscope or being pressured or tested. This kind of stuff is a really good way to see past the best-foot-forward we all put on. It will show you how compatible you are. Do you enjoy the same things, are you both advernterous, or are you both home bodies? Do you like to go out to eat, or is take-out and Netflix what you both rather? Do you both enjoy meeting new people or is one of you more of a recluse who would be just fine never leaving the house. And how do you compromise if you have a different opinion or plan? Do you respect each others space and independence or is somebody co-dependent? Take the stress of and you can both see who the real person is.

3.How you see him- The Lovers VI- It's very interesting that you both got very similar cards here in a lot of ways. You both got 6's, and they are about re-establishing balance and re-organizing what you want to create. I'd say in a lot of ways you are very well-suited. You see him as husband material, a keeper not just a fly-by-night-and keep-it-movin'. A person you could grow old with, who is not afraid of commitment. Was he married before? You feel a sense of balance and mutual respect.

4. How he sees you- 6 of Pentacles- He sees you as an equal partner, someone who understands that a relationship is give and take. He sees you as a very giving and generous person who may expect a lot, but only because you damn sure give a lot. He sees that you have a lot to offer, and that you balance him out because in a lot of ways you really "get" him. He sees that ride-or die woman who may smack you upside your head when you need it, but will love and stand by him through thick and thin. This man sees your worth, he values what you bring to the table.

*clicking on the picture will enlarge in for better view of the cards*

5. What's best for you- King of Swords- Ok chick, I'm just gonna say this point blank-- what's best for you is to make a firm decision and stand by it. And that means do you want him or do you want your ex, because this card is the one that represents you ex! You've got to cut the ties you have to the ex if you want things to happen with this one. He is much more emotional that your ex. It's harder for him to bounce back after heartache, he is much more sensitive. No two ways about it, the energy of the feelings you have for you ex will create a wall between you and this man. Even though it souns like I am addressing what's best for him, it really is what's best for you. You don't want to get hurt, but you don't want to hurt anyone else. Not making a choice will keep you from really knowing what you want or seeing what is best for you . You've got to clear off your plate. If you are supposed to be with the ex, it will become evident ONLY after you let him go. Sounds ass-backwards, I know, but that's what I really feel. And you will only know if this cat is what's best for you if don't have thoughts of someone else dancing in your head.

Another thing I feel from this card is have you taken time alone without a relationship and just gotten a clear understanding of who you are and what you want. Not having to consider anyone else but what You. An extended period of time as a single woman not dating anyone and getting in touch with who you are.

6. What's best for him-The Chariot VII- He may or may not show his emotions easily, but he is very emotional. What's best for him is to have a clear direction of where he wants things to go. I feel like he is a long haul kinda guy. The emotional yo-yo, whether it's him or its you who is pulling that string, will wreck him. He needs security and affection. Someone to come home to who he can trust and feel safe with. He needs control, but not necessarily in the negative sense. In the sense that he has peace of mind because he knows his heart is in safe care.

7. Advice/Outcome- 5 of Wands- This just reiterates letting go of stressing out over the outcome, wracking your brain to have all the answers. It's gonna drive ya nuts! I still feel like getting out and being social and having fun is key. With him, but also on your own. Passion is not just in the bedroom, it's what are you passionate about in life, things that make you smile 'till your face hurts, laugh until your side is splitting! If both of you let things flow and you will really see things from a whole new perspective.

8. Bottom Line- The Fool 0- It looks like there is a definite possibility, dare I say probability of a a fresh start. This card is all about that child-like fearlessness that kids have. They take risks and are excited to do so. It is all well and good to take the experiences from the past to kind of guide you, but don't let them keep you in a box. If you can't see the forest for the trees, you will never know what wonderful things lie ahead of you. But look at the number of this card, 0: you gotta work from ground zero with a fresh new approach, an open heart and an open mind. You two may have a few challenges but the fact that you seem to respect and want to work together will go a very long way to that marriage you want being healthy and happy.

I hope this helps and gives you some insight as to what is best for you,

Romance Reading

Someone asked me to do a reading on what is blocking them from true love, and requested I use my Tarot of the Sweet Twilight.  So let's see what the cards have to say:

1. What do you need in a relationship?
2. What you will bring to a relationship?
3. What behaviors or beliefs are blocking you from what you want?
4. How can you transform those things to put you on the path to get what you want?
5. Outcome if you follow the advice of card 4.

1. The Empress III- You are all about the love and passion! The Empress is ruled by the planet Venus. You love romance and need to be courted and treated like the precious gift you are, even to be spoiled. But this can NEVER come at the price of your independence. I'd also say that your...eh-hem... shall we say... "earthly desires"... Oh hell, we're all adults here! You are NOT playing about your sex! LOL You are very sensual and adventurous and sex is a huge part of how you express your love for your partner. You also need to nurture and to be nurtured in return.  But I wonder if this can lead to problems by you finding men with mamma issues. Either they are mamma's boys or they don't have good relationships with their moms and expect you to fill that role. You are extremely protective of your partner and loyalty is of the utmost importance. Not just fidelity, but let's say someone was mistreating you or being unfair. Even if you were somehow wrong in the situation, your mate had better defend you tooth and nail in front of others, and be a little careful when mentioning the situation in private as well. You are very emotional and can be a bit moody, but your love is as rock solid as Mother Earth herself, and you need a rock solid commitment.

2. 4 of Wands- This is known as the marriage card. You are looking for the real deal and are looking for a partner who will be your rock, your refuge. Again, I feel that passion is a key component and you have plenty of it given the fire of a wand card, but you will bring a lot of stability, comfort and security with it. Your partner can come to you and talk and express their deepest, inner-most feelings or fears and know they have your total attention and concern. (This also may be where you need to watch for the mamma issues. You may want to take over and fix things, in stead of letting them handling their own problems and you just stand by and support them) You also have the ability to make them feel at ease just by your presence because you are very intuitive and aware of what is going on inside of them. You make your partner feel inspired and motivated to work at creating a good relationship because you are.

3. 9 of cups- You may not be getting what you want because you may have a few unrealistic expectations. This also shows that you may tend to be extremely emotional and get swept away with the fairy tales we were all sold about what love is/should be. I'd also say a bit more inner transformation with regard to self-love needs to take place.

4. 2 of swords- Find balance between your head and your heart. I feel like you get swept away with the passion and emotion and don't always see things for what the really are and that makes you either turn cold or lash out at the other person. But before you get involved, this card is telling me you need to take a good long look at what you really want so you can make better choices. Sometimes even if we don't know what it is we want, we know what we sure as hell don't want. Write those things down in two lists and then refer back to it to make sure the choices you make in partners is in sync with your choices on the list.
    Another thing it's saying is about communication. Start working on how you communicate with others you are close to now so that you'll have better skills with your partner.  I'm wondering if you clam up when you are upset and then when your emotions get to a point you can no longer hold them in, you come on like a hurricane and slice them to ribbons with the words you use. Make sure you get enough alone time to sort through the things in your head, but don't make your partner feel like an outcast when you do. Explaining that this is crucial to you feeling even and balanced and that it doesn't mean you don't love them or that you are rejecting them will go a long way.

5. Knave (page) of pentacles- You have the strong potential to set the ground work for a solid and stable relationship. I love to see pentacles in romance readings because of they symbolize growth and strength that is long term and steady, not fly-by-night. Being a page, this also addresses healthy communication skills. If follow the advice of the previous cards, you can end up feeling confident about the choices you make and get tangible results. For some reason I feel like your mate may not fit the "norm" of who you or others around you may expect or think you should be with. But as long as you both share the same values and goals, you'll have something that is healthy and has the potential to evolve and grow.

LivingTarot: Moving Me Forward/Towing Me Back...

I have gotten more than I could have ever imagined, from doing the exercises that Ferol posts each night!  Here is what tonight's question was:

SAILING ME FORWARD TOWING ME BACK TAROT~ Shuffle while thinking "What force is sailing me forward? What force is towing me back?" Draw one card for each. Name your deck, your two cards, and tell us what you make of the answer you got. Do you agree? Is this true? What question would you ask next after this answer? Given that neither idea may really apply to your life, see what happens anyway.

I have only certain decks that I read reversed (Rx) cards. And I have't done it in a few years. But I decided to challenge myself a bit tonight, so I used my Fantastical Tarot. This is what I've got so far:

• Living Tarot Great answers! I will point out that sailing you forward is not quite the same thing as towing you forward. Those are two very different things, LOL! As is the difference between towing you back and holding you back. Those are also very different things, Celeste. Ponder that, in the spirit of fun, and thanks for joining me out here~

  17 minutes ago · 
• 
  

  Fantastical Tarot~ FORWARD- Rx 4 of Wands: There is a unicorn in a grassy valley on a beautiful starlit night with a full moon. For quite sometime I had lost the drive to create magick in my life. I've stopped having any dreams about my future because I've felt so stuck and didn't dare believe any vision of hope could come true because I have had a lot of major disappointments. But I felt a major energy shift from a place very deep inside, today actually. And that shift based in a strong desire to commit to working at creating a life worth celebrating is what is moving me forward. BACK- Rx Knight of Pentacles- Mkay, about that issue with disappointment...lol! I hold myself back because I can be so impatient and don't want to have to wait to get concrete, tangible results! When I don't get them rather quickly, I loose focus on the ultimate goal. I even trick myself into thinking I didn't even want it anyway LOL!!! (what is wrong with me!?! LOL LOL)

  16 minutes ago · 
• 

  Living Tarot 

  Sailing forward~ a force which carries us flowingly, easily. Towing us back~ pulling us slowly back through territory we have already covered. Think sailboats and tugboats, my friends, and neither of these boats are YOU! What force is sailing you forward? What force is towing you back? I mention this because we tend to think we are doing it all, and this exercise is about a force, like the difference between the Majors and the Minors. All of your answers are good and correct~ no one is wrong~ I just want you all to understand the purpose of the exercise. ;)

  12 minutes ago · 
• 

  Living Tarot So in mine, the force is an Ace, it is bigger than me, and helping me by taking me to love being offered. The Four of Cups Reversed is an impulse, maybe one which all people feel right now, which tows me backward to love I can't get.

  8 minutes ago · 
• 
  

   ‎.....hmm...gonna have to knock the cobwebs outta my brain for this one Ferol LOL! I need to think on this for a min or two...

  4 minutes ago · 

  
  

  
  

  •  I just remembered this is a two part question, wht question would I ask next? "How can I enhance the force sailing me forward/how can I transform the force that is keeping me stuck? (Am I on the right track with this part??)

    about an hour ago · 
  • 

    Living Tarot 

    Yes of course, Krysten, all of it is correct if it is what your mind and spirit generate toward the question. Don't let my clarifications intimidate you. Think of me as a kindly old fairy leading you toward Tarot wonderland, HA HA! I am not sure that the towing backward force is a stuck thing at all. It may be a transformative force on its own, more or less contrasted by the sailing forward force. I don't think we should judge these as negative and positive. I got a lot of good mileage out of attempting to resolve old loves that did not work. That force keeps pulling me back. But the force of love offered freely keeps sailing me forward. See? So your next question would be the one you feel like asking. So ask the one you thought of, and see what happens, is what I would say.

    about an hour ago ·  ·  1 person
  • 

    Living Tarot Think of your good answers provided earlier in terms of flow. Does that help? You said really good stuff, as did Celeste. I can relate to both of you! Follow your own good ideas here. Just ponder my words, and use them or don't. mwah!

    about an hour ago ·  ·  1 person
  • 
    

     

    Thank you a million times over for your patience and encouragement fairy God-Mother lol! You've helped me grow so much as a reader in the short time since I found your site and I am grateful beyond words for these exercises and for you sharing your insight!! Muwah*** :D For the last question I got: Enhance the Flow: Rx 2 of Cups... I think this speaks to the initial question about what is sailing me forward when I said committing to creating a life worth celebrating. I think I can enhance this by not harshly judging the side of myself that I call GrumpleStilskin. Her intention was to show me the things I don't want to create in my life. But I do need to divorce myself from her ideas that no longer serve me. ---- As for how to transform what's towing me back" KIng of Wands.... I may get better results if I remain motivated and am inspired to accomplish whatever I set my mind to by reminding myself that I am worthy of succeeding at making my dreams come true. Maybe if I make post-it notes and put them everywhere or Mod-Podge pictures that show what I want to accomplish I can keep that passion I loose sight of.

I Hope That I Can Have That Moment For Life

I did this reading a few weeks ago and am just now posting it.  The question was "Who Is My Husband?" I don't think I could have hand picked better cards out of the entire deck!! lmao!

1.10 of Cups- Well lets just start of with fireworks why don'tcha!! This is known as "the happy family card". It most often shows a family standing underneath a rainbow with a castle. I really like this version of the card . This deck has so many cool interpretations on the cards. The first thing that stands out is the fact that even if you want to do reversals, with this deck there really wouldn't seem like there is a negative or shadow side to it. The couple is laying down, in  opposite directions, but their heads are resting next to one another, ear to ear. I feel like who ever "he" is, we will be opposites in many ways, which is typical for me. I also see we will have a strong connection and a lot of trust. We will enjoy each other's company very much from the hand holding, but we will be very independent. For some reason, the fact that her mid-drift is showing and he is so  clothed and has his hand and his heart says that I may be more outgoing. Whoever he is, he needs to be outgoing and social damnit. 10's are all about a time of rest from the end 9's mean and the new beginnings that 1s mean. And cups are all about love, emotion, feelings. We will be home for each other emotionally, yet strong, independent individuals.

2. Knight of Wands- This Knight is all about the fire. In addition to the love and emotion, there will be a lot of passion and lust. A must for me lol. And the Catwoman mask says  a lot! tee-hee!! But two masks also say to me that there will be no pretense or lack of openness and honesty. This card tends to be very closely related to business. Will I meet him on my next job?? And it also stands for moving. Which God knows I want to do anyway.

3. 2 of Cups- This is just bananas to have pulled these cards LOL!! This card is all about a very very strong emotional bond. And again the theme of opposites comes up from how differently they are dressed. The caduceus... a doctor?? Dentist? Veterinarian?

Bottom of the deck- 4 of Wands- Wth man LMAO!? Universally known as the marriage card! I love how the couple is peacefully resting in each others arms after a long hard day at work. Or in my case, if I'm flying again, a long hard week at work lol. It's like we are chillin' on the couch and just watched an episode of Dexter and now we are talking, enjoying each other's company.

I also make note of the fact that all four cards have a picture of a couple that seems very comfortable and happy in each other's company. All of the cards are either fire or water, love and emotion or passion, energy and lust. It let's me know I need to be mindful that we both add air and earth energy, logic, communication and good problem solving skills as well and good financial planning and remaining grounded. Because I've always believed in forever. Not at all that I oppose divorce if need be, but if I get married I always planned on it being forever. And all four elements must be balanced. I know that it's not all rainbows and kittens and leather and lust. Marriage is a lot of hard work. But the overall feeling over the course of our life together is one that reflects friendship, compatibility, and respect it will be well worth it.




I fly with the stars in the skies
I am no longer trying to survive
I believe that life is a prize
But to live doesn't mean you're alive

Don't worry about me & who I fire
I get what I desire
It's my empire
And yes, I call the shots, I am the umpire
I sprinkle holy water upon the vampire

In this very moment I'm king
In this very moment I slayed Goliath with a sling
This very moment I bring
put it on everything, that I will retire with the ring
and I will retire with the crown, Yes
no I'm not lucky I'm blessed, Yes
clap for the heavyweight champ, Me
but I couldn't do it all alone, We
Young Money raised me, grew up out in Baisley
Southside Jamaica, Queens and it's crazy
cuz I'm still hood, Hollywood couldn't change me
shout out to my haters, sorry that you couldn't faze me
Aint being cocky, we just vindicated
Best believe that when we done this moment will be syndicated
I don't know,
this night just remind me of
Everything they deprived me of
P-p-p-p-put your drinks up
It's a celebration every time we link up
We done did everything they could think of
Gr-Gr-Greatness is what we on the brink of

[Chorus]
I wish that I could have this moment 4 life, 4 life, 4 life
Cause In this moment, i just feel so alive, alive, alive
I wish that I could have this moment 4 life, 4 life, 4 life ( I could have this moment x3)
This is my moment, I just feel so alive ( I could have this moment x3)

Celtic Cross Reading for Penelope Garcia

Synchronicity never ceases character to blow my mind lol.

So ya know I love myself some Criminal Minds (just about as much as Dexter I may have to say, and believe you me that is saying a hell of a lot!!) And  ya know how a freakin' adore the character Garcia. (I recently did a post on her and another character Morgan to interpret The Lovers VI card). The show is about FBI agents who do criminal profiling. So I was thinking that I should profile the characters I love so much since I want to make a list of them from various books, tv shows, and movies to apply to all 78 cards. Then today I found this fantastic teaching tool from Tarot Eon that blew me away! (link will be below) It sounds like it is gonna help me take my tarot skills to a whole 'nother level. And I'll be dog-gone if he doesn't use the word "profile". He basically says to create profiles on imaginary clients. You can also use people from the media, but Doug says that kinda goes against the whole point, which is to use your imagination. But I'm gonna go ahead and do it this way first as he advises you take a lot of time to create each profile and I just wanna get started. I am one be all fired up about something and then just flake out on it. But you want to act like it is a real live client who you are reading for.

Penelope Garcia
Very highly skilled computer expert. So good she hacked into the federal governments computers. So they took advantage of her skills in stead of imprison her and she works with a team of FBI criminal profilers called the BAU-Behavior Analysis Unit. Mid 30's and lives in a 2 b/r apartment in N.E. DC. She often shops in DuPont Circle and Commander Salamander and can be found at Eastern Market scoping out the most awesome vintage stuff on any Saturday she can possibly have time off to get there.

Though she is a total tech geek, she does believe in readers and astrology.

She's married to her work like all of her co-workers and they are her family, but she would love to be married and have a family to come home to. She needs as much normalcy as she can get.

She has a very deep emotional and romantic connection to her co-worker Derek Morgan, but they both choose to not act on it. Partially because of the conflict of interest at work where they are part of a team who saves many lives and can not be compromised, partially from their own fear of each other. From the outside, they are total opposites in every single way. Inside, they are as much alike as any two people can possibly be. They are two sides of the exact same coin and couldn't possibly be better matched. She

She needs to have as much around her that helps her escape from the horrifying realities she faces at work, so she dresses in an over-the-top whimsical fashion that is a cross between goth, vintage and her own very bright and fun style.

She's an extremist at everything. At being fun, outgoing, charming, witty, intelligent, compassionate, loving, loyal, and nurturing.

She easily connects with others and makes them feel safe with her warm and inviting, comical demeanor, yet feels safest from behind a computer screen. Her childhood was a rough one bouncing from one foster home to the next. She shields herself emotionally with her intellect and very sharp wit.

She is the best at her job and she knows it. She's absolutely beautiful yet has no idea of it. She is like a ball of sunshine with moon beams shooting out and a circle of stars sparkling in orbit.

So let's just say I gave her a general reading. I'll do the Celtic Cross spread, but the way my first actual teacher Glenda does it. Sorry that I will have to show the cards out of positional order. Lord and Lady I can not wait to have a scanner. So here's me, as Garcia's trusted reader that she sees a few times a year.

I chose the Gill Tarot because of it's bright fun colors and of the decks I have with me, this one seems like one she'd choose. If I had Tarot of the Sweet Twilight  I'd have chosen it. The majority of cards are either fire or water. A lot of passionate emotion, and thus at odds with herself on a lot of things. This shows how strong your are to not give in to impulses, but is it at the expense of your happiness? I do see all four elements are present so I think you are doing a decent job of balancing all of this. Three Majors are present, so we need to look at the karmic patterns that keep replaying in your life.

1. Where the cards want to start talking: 10 of pentacles-  It seems you've been thinking a lot about your future and wanting to something of value to leave behind. I'm looking at that QofC and the 3 of cups plus the AofW.... Girly I gotta ask if your pregnant??! No you say? Are you SURE!? Cause if you're not, you may want to use some serious birth control. In fact if I were you, I'd use two or three forms from the looks of these cards LOL! But anyway, Did you get a pay raise? Cause I see that as a possibility. That 10ofP says to me how happy you are at your job, and what a ray of sunshine you are around there in spite of all the darkness you guys are submerged in. You give so much of yourself and bring a lot of healing to everyone around you. 


2. What's is either helping or hindering the issue in question one: Queen of Swords- Even though you are not this particular Queen, she is such a strong part of you of you since you have Gemini rising. *I'm making that up* She is who you are at work, all tech and super-duper brainiac. This is you sitting at your desk and that mouse pad and keyboard is your weapon of choice. The pen is mightier than the sword lol. Again that bright yellow background showing the bright light you are that. Your presence is so powerful to make everyone around you better at their job because you take away the doom and gloom. Your contagious joy is like the voice of reason when you all are constantly analyzing situations that are so dark and seem to make no sense whatsoever. And this makes the people who sign your paycheck inclined to make sure you are well compensated because they know how much you deserve it and how much they need you. 


3. What is root of the issue: Queen of Cups- I gotta come back to this baby issue. I think you are missing JJ a whole lot since she left the team. I think you are also thinking about when she had the baby. That 6ofP keeps calling me back to it. It's like you are the unconditional love that is a constant give and take that she and her son share. Both of you are such mammas at heart who nurture everyone on the team. You are a woman who's life is so based on logic and tangible results, yet in this card your emotional side seems to being looking into that cup and feeling empty, yet she is surrounded by so much water. 


4. Recent past: Ace of Wands-  In the resent past you had some bright ideas in how to spend your birthday a few months ago. Oh you took that knitting class you wanted, how cool! I think you've also been thinking about some other bright ideas I'll touch on in a min LOL!


5. What's on your mind": 6 of pentacles- This card is about give and take, exchange of money. Oh you went to one of those clothing swap things, how was it?? I hear they are so cool! You say you got lots of great stuff huh, more of your rainbow colors you love to wear. I know you can't wait for the warm weather so you can go down to Eastern Market.  You should give Suzette a call and meet up with her there. Maybe you guys can go for lunch and swap stuff because you know she has some awesome really fun pieces of costume jewelry. I think that raise will come in the next 6 weeks.

6. What's possible in the near future: 4 of wands- Now... on to those other bright ideas I mentioned LMAO. Ok Chippy. In one reading you got the AofW, 4ofW, 3ofC, and The Hierophant!??!! I mean can we say "Married With Children"?!! Now let's stop faking moves, because it's just you and me here. I know how you feel about him and how he feels about you. You know the cards show what is most likely to happen based on what is going on in your life  at this time and if you continue to do things the same way. Well I say keep on keepin' on because I see that 10ofP as what you will have to leave the children you and Derek will have LOL!! There looks like there will be a whole lot to celebrate! 


7. What you don't want: 7 of wands- I see this card as what you don't want because doing "the right thing" sux. It's like that hooded cloak is how you have to cloak your feelings for Derek and vice-versa.


8. What's in your environment: King of Swords-  I think this is both a person and a situation. How is Hotch doing? I know he puts on a good front because he is the team's leader, but he is still hurting so much from his wife's murder. I also see that this means your pay raise will also mean they are expecting more from you, as if that were possible! Oh yeah, that's right. You did start working with the other team on Suspect Behavior huh.

9. What you do want: Hierophant V-  Again, since The Hierophant is the pope, and I see the AofW and the 4ofW so screaming marriage. And stop denying it woman, I'm your damn tarot reader LOL! And don't think that the icing on the cake of that King of Cups went unnoticed LMAO. But this card is also about your highest guide speaking to you and telling you to get real with yourself. As many shades of grey as there are in life, some things are black and white. Hang on a sec. Let me check something I saw online earlier.....Aha! This lady has such a great site!! She is awesome here's what she has to say about that staff that he is carrying:  'Nuff said Penelope! LMAO

"Alchemy is rife with Tarot symbols including the staff which represents polarity sulfur (male) and quicksilver (female) in alchemical iconograpy. This symbol also infers the union of of opposites woth the goal harmonization and  transformation."

*this was a direct quote from an amazing reader who's site I will put a link for called Tarot Teachings*

10. Outcome if things stay as they currently are: (this is done as a story line with 3 additional cards) - King of Cups, Temperance XIV, 3 of cups, The Moon XVIII- So we top it all off with that Scorpio man's card at the end. Like the king is pictured here on King of Cups, Derek tries so hard to be so controlled and even,  but that man is all raw emotion. And those fish just show me how his subconscious mind constantly goes back and forth with how he feels. And next to it we have Temperance XIV. It shows that patience you both exhibit given the situation. It also shows me that you are his angel that  gives him hope in the middle of a constant shit-storm. Didn't you tell me that after that  incident where he drove that ambulance with the bomb to save everyone and it was you on the phone who gave him the route to get to a safe space for when it went off, he said,  "Woman, you are my God-given solace"? And there you are,his angel under that rainbow. And this card also represents inter-racial couples ya know. HelloOOo! The 3ofC shows the the joy that is possible when you two get together, drinking champagne at your wedding. And that baby! Now The Moon XVIII  at the end shows me that you two will get together, but still keep it under wraps for as long as you can. But the emotional pull between you two is to strong to be denied or hidden for long. And that if you two let this slip through your fingers you will have the deepest of regrets.

This was so much fun to do! The Tarot Eon's blog has taught so much about letting go of my issues of "am I gonna do it right?" and the "rules" you are "supposed to" follow. I have got to remember that tarot is all about using our imagination to tap into the subconscious mind. The only rule is to not get caught up in rules. The only "wrong"way to read cards is read from a place of doubt and insecurity.  

H.E.L.P. Spread

I was meditating this morning, something I never do, but know full well I should on the regular. I thought about how many people are always willing to help me throughout my life. Then I thought about the fact that I need to be more efficient at helping my damn self! Then I heard my guides tell help me form an acronym for the word "help". I chose the colour yellow because it represents caution and also the element of air. Caution should be used so your thought process doesn't become clouded and you loose sight of your own power. Too bad I have for so long. Might wanna do somethin' about that 'ay??....

H=Harness...What can I do to harness my own power?
E= Emotions... What emotion would best serve me?
L=  Leave... What or who do I need to leave behind in order to help my life move forward?
P= Problems... Since life will always have it's share of problems, what problems can I transform them into benefits and how??

1. 4 of Wands- Now the first impression I get is to laugh my ass off!!! Dude has his feet kicked up on the desk just chillin'! Now I'd have to say I need to do far less of this in order to get a good result. So let's figure this out.... The 4ofW is about celebration, 4's are about stability and structure, and wands are about energy, drive, passion, desire, and work. So...I guess I need to stop stressing and  relax from all that nervous, negative energy  I so often feel inside aka "anxiety". I guess all that damn worrying keeps me from using my energy and my time to recognize and be grateful for all the many blessings I do have. And from seeing the power I have. Or all the things I am good at, or would be if I would relax about  and stop thinking I'm not good at! So I can harness my power by just learning to relax! I mean hell, look at the socks Uncle Al has on in the picture! I never noticed those before LOL, but clearly they are the sign of a person who knows how to enjoy life and have some fun, regardless of whether he is at work or not.  I am a believer in The Law of Attraction (Buddhism without actually calling it that). If I keep harping on the things that make me stressed out, that's what I'll create more of. But if I can learn to calm down and kill the anxiety and put my energy into creating ways to create a life worth celebrating, then that's exactly what I will create.

2. King of Wands- Any emotion that makes me realize I can be successful and keeps me motivated and ready to do the hard work necessary to help myself. So I'd have to say hope and happiness.

3. 2 of Pentacles-Wow, this card says some really powerful stuff to me. Leave behind the mentality of poverty! That there is only a finite amount of wealth in the world as opposed to the limitless abundance available to anyone who taps into it and decides to access it. I see Uncle Al covering his face because he just got the NSF memo on his printed receipt. Ugh, God how that sux!!! I need to have a better relationship with money and finance. If I follow the advice I just got from the KofW I can earn the money I want and need. But I still need to learn to balance and create a budget.

4. 7 of Swords- Why is she looking down at the ground and why is she walking under this ladder in the first place?? I see the wall and I just heard Pink Floyd "we don't need no education. We don't need no forced control". Hold my head high, believe in myself and be more aware of my surroundings for starters. I also need to realize that life is one huge classroom, and we never finish or quit going to school. I've got to be more shrewed and take notice of the various tools I have at my disposal. They come in the very good disguise of problems. This card is the bad luck card. I've got to be aware of what situations I have around me, because with this card, Rhiannon says "it's a nasty card where people are talking about you behind your back and out to hurt you and doing nasty stuff to you, plotting against and backstabbing you. It's about lies and half-truths. People will be bold enough to even lie straight to your face!" It's funny because that is what I am currently going through these days. So I take from it that I have to realize there will always be negative situations and hurtful people. I have to get past the pain of those nasty swords and not let those people make me act the same way in retaliation because I am hurt or angry. To those who think the have power or authority over me because of that 2ofP message, all and all I am just another brick in the wall. They are just opportunities for me to see past the dark sarcasm in the classroom.

*in the explanation of the 7ofSw, there are a lot of lyrics to the song "Another Brick In the Wall" by Pink Floyd used as a means of interpreting the card. I also notice that once again there is an abundance of fire in this reading with a little bit of air and earth it needs to burn.

Electric Feel

I had an interesting dream last night. I'm so glad to be dreaming so vividly again!! There was an older, light-skinned lady and she was tell me about her amazing life. I could hear "Rebel Rebel" in my head for real as I saw her as a young girl passing out flyers on stage while The Stones and David Bowie performed. (how crazy is it that I just saw Mick Jagger preform on The Grammys!) Her husband was in the Navy. Then I saw her yard outside and there was a beautiful rose bush full of bright coral blooms. We were in her house and my mom was in the other room. The lady and I were in the kitchen. She whispered in my ear, "I own 3 houses. A girl has to always be prepared to take care of herself. " Somehow I knew she was trying to let me know she was leaving one to me.  Then I look out the window and see a helicopter flying very low and about to crash in the front yard. I ran and saw Mom running ahead of me. We saw the pilot's face, how he was trying to remain calm but it was inevitable and it came twirling to the ground.
We see the light from the blast and we go outside, only now there isn't a yard but a dock and lots of water. The Navy and Coast Guard are there. They tell us to jump. Mom says she won't because she can swim (the woman is petrified of water in real life!) and I can't. I remember thinking "WTF didn't I take swmming lessons!!?" I see lots of rescue boats and a large bridge not far away. (Then the barking of chihuahuas in real life woke me up as they tried to attack the Jehovah's Witnesses LMAO!)

4 of Wands, Knight of Wands and 2 of Swords with the 10 of Cups on the bottom. (second time today of the 2ofSw). First thing I saw was the rainbow and heard "rainbow moment". (Since I have no scanner and the photos suck, you can't see the dam rainbow, but it's there. I'll add a link so you can see a few images and get a feel for how gorgeous the deck is.) While I was here in Atlanta I had what I have now named "a rainbow moment" which I had while talking to Jeanette and actually forming a friendship with her. We were talking about me telling this really cute but totally weird-vibe-having guy that I was not going to go out with his ass. It all translates into me learning to say No! If I mean no, to say NO and mean it and be fine with it! The happy, safe home life pictured on the 10ofC is so my new room mate's house! Her cat and dog look just like this and are the best of friends and sleep together just like that! I think it all translates into making better, smarter choices(2ofSw) and taking decisive action to live my life with passion and vibrancy (Knt of W) to have the home life and marriage I want.  The Knt of Wands is so the kind of man I want! (Still got it for one in particular but that is a whole 'nother crazy story of what will never be in spite of how he makes my heart feel. And a whole lot of other parts on me!!! DAMN the man is amazing!!! Ugghhh!! I gotta hit that at least one more time!! but this is another long story for another time.) Well, with the maturity of the King of Wands!! But this is who I want to cultivate within my own self and thus attract! This knight is the one is is like electricity! He's fun and alive and will skydive,(as pictured on the Vanessa Tarot!) have fun, a joy to be around, funny, out going, and crazy hot passionate hot sex! (Mmmm..I can see Rain from Ninja Assassin in the knight's helmet today!) To plan and execute them better so I am prepared for the unexpected shit that can change your life in an instant. Also so that when I  am old and grey I can look back with no regrets and say I have lived a wonderful life worth living and did all the things I truly wanted. And there is SOO much more I want to do!

Omg, I can't believe what song just came on Pandora!! I have got to add the lyrics so as to really make it clear how profound this is LOL!!!


Electric Feel by MGMT
All along the western front
People line up to receive
She got the power in her hand
To shock you like you won't believe
Saw her in the Amazon
With the voltage running through her skin
Standing there with nothing on
She's going to teach me how to swim

Said oh, girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl
Turn me on with your electric feel
I said oh, girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl
Turn me on with your electric feel

All along the eastern shore
Put your circuits in the sea
This is what the world is for
Making electricity
You can feel it in your mind
Oh, you can do it all the time
Plug it in and change the world
You are my electric girl

Said oh, girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl
Turn me on with your electric feel
Said oh, girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl
Turn me on with your electric feel

Do what you feel now
Electric feel now
Do what you feel now
Electric feel now
Do what you feel now
Electric feel now
Do what you feel now
Electric feel now
Do what you feel now
Electric feel now