A friend asked me to do a reading for her. She has the desire to start writing again and wants to know what the cards have to say about her perusing this as a career. I know she really likes the Sweet Twilight so I have chosen that deck for her reading.

What is your greatest strength as a writer? -  7 of pentacles -  Ok, how cow, the first thing I notice right off the bat is that all of the cards except one are pentacles! So I definitely see this having the very strong likelihood of being a viable career choice that will bring financial reward.
 I see this card saying that you have a gift  of strong character development. You know how to step aside and allow your characters to  tell you who they are, not just you create them. You can see the whole of the story in advance. It's like you are able to write so that there are details in chapter 1 that you remember, but have no idea what an integral part of the story they are until chapter 9, or book 2.
I see you writing stories where your readers will love all of your characters, not just the main character. Each of them will be very dynamic and have their own unique personality and style of self-expression. And when you put all of those unique personalities into one creative work, it will be like this card. A cast of crazy characters that form one cohesive unit. I see the one cat in the middle with the polka-dot hat, looking all sullen and so deep inside his own head. Is your main character very heavy and dark, a very unique individual in some way? And I see the girl with the guitar looking over at him sympathetically. Is there one person who really "sees" that character? The only one who is allowed inside? Or is this you and a particular person who is one of the special few who is allowed to knowing you on a very deep level?

How can you enhance that? - Rx Queen -  You need to nurture the gift you have for writing. The huge moon or pearl is behind her. So before you can do that, you have to truly see it how gifted you are. How much wisdom and life experience you have. Both from your own personal experience as well as your keen powers of observation. How you might be sitting somewhere silently, perhaps even unnoticed,yet you are taking in every detail. I also feel like your dreams will give you so much to assist in your writing. Find out what flower essence and crystals helps with dreams.
I also see this as saying that you need to create a designated time and space that is exclusively for your writing. This queen is earth of water. If you wish to manifest tangible results, you must nurture the process as well as the part of you who is the gifted writer. You will be tapping into some deep emotions and that part of you will need know she is in a safe environment to be so vulnerable and to work through the heavy emotions. The pearl says that the greatest irritations or sore spots are what will lead you to create a beautiful piece.

What weakness do you need to address if you wish to pursue this as a career? - Knight of Pentacles - I heard "being out of your element". He is the Knt of P, but he is flying, over water. He is not grounded. Is he not comfortable with who he is? Or is it where he is? Does this come back to not having the proper environment to nurture your creativity? And he is looking back behind him. You need to move past the fear or previous criticism. You can rebuild after the emotional wipe out you experienced.
I also feel like this is reiterating that need for a secluded, safe place to navigate through your emotions that may be turbulent and run quite deep.
Another thing I feel this card is saying is that you have to find a way to not be discouraged if this takes longer than you'd like. Enjoy the process in and of itself, not just the vision of a specific outcome.

How can you turn that weakness into a strength? - The Wheel of Fortune - The first thing I heard is "take that leap of faith". I feel like this is saying you need to do healing work with your root chakra. Heal money issues/poverty consciousness and feeling safe in the world. That no matter what happens the Universe will support you. And with this card and so many positive ones around it, Lady Luck is on your side. You may want to look into what stones or crystals you can work with to balance all of your charkas.  The Knt of P has to do with the root chakra, so for that one, ruby, garnet, obsidian, and hematite come to mind.

What is the first step to making your dream a reality? - 9 of swords - Spending time alone to clear your head. Healthy self-analysis is a benefit of charkra work. Meditate. Again, the theme of what your dreams have to tell you. Do you want to write horror stories that scare the crap outta people like Wes Craven lol?Pray for your angels to make you aware of negative thoughts and doubts that will cut your connection to your creative side. I'm not if depression is an issue for you or not, but there is a lot of fear of the worst case scenario. You have to find a way to remove yourself from negative people or situations. I also see this as saying that you have to see yourself as being completely worthy of having your dreams become a beautiful reality. It's saying to me that you need to make a declarative statement to The Universe. State exactly what you want, don't ask.

Blessings to you my friend. I can't wait to see your name on my iPad or Kindle!

New Moon in Aquarius Spread

I thought I'd try a New Moon Spread. I found this one from a Google search that took me to a blog I'd never seen. It uses the four directions and Spirit to tap into how to best use the energies at this time. It is a new moon in Aquarius.

New Moon in the North - 10 of wands - Don't take on more than I can handle, and damn sure what is not mine. I also see the wands in her hands like weights. I need to work out and build my physical strength. I also need to somehow stop stressing about money. It looks like her eyes are looking down at the next card.


New Moon in the East - The Wheel of Fortune - Brainstorm new ideas. Aquarians just love to plan. I need to write out lists and set  plans into motion about the direction I want things to go in. I see the noon phases above her head. Since this is a new moon spread I really think something significant will happen by this time next month. I think I will make new connections with people who will help spin the wheel in my favor.

*Sorry about that flash. Click on photo to enlarge*

New Moon in the South - 9 of swords - As soon as I pulled the card I heard "Quit being such a scaredy-cat!" This is the nightmare card and in this position it is reminding me that when I give in to anxiety and fear the way I so often do, it keeps me stuck, trapped. I need to use my fears to my advantage and feed the flames of creating the things I desire.

New Moon in the West - 7 of wands - I need to put myself and my own needs first.  I have got to realize that this does not make me selfish!! It makes me smart and a person who values and loves herSelf. It will also make me happier.

New Moon at its Core - King of Wands - If I tap into this new moon in Aquarius energy I can really make some serious headway. I can find success in the things I am passionate about and that will inspire and energize me. Look at how confident and brave this King is. I can hear The Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz say "Courage!" which ties right back in with the message from the 9ofSw in the south.

What are you hoping for in next month or so? Do any of you have a New Moon spread you like?

Relationship Reading For a Client: Will My Ex Boyfriend and I Get Back Together?

This was a reading done via email request. The querent wanted to know if she would reunited with an ex-boyfriend.

You have a pretty nice blend of all 4 elements in this reading, so I see that given the fact that there are more swords than any other, I'd say that there was some stress and conflict. Also that communication may have been an issue. The number of wands shows me that there was/is passion, 2 cups show me that a lot of emotion or love was involved. But there is only one pentacle, so a lot of growth is needed and stability and security are issues that need to be addressed.

1. Where things are right now- 9 of Swords- Right now things are almost a dead issue and that has lead to a lot of stress. But there is something that is the corner stone of the relationship and that holds one or both of you in this. Did you all meet at church? I feel like faith, religion or spirituality was a big part of the relationship. (Somehow church was involved.) I also feel like someone was truly heartbroken and still carries that pain. It needs to be addressed and given time to heal before any progress can be made. 9's are about things coming to an end. The good thing about that though is that if you bury the ghosts of the past, you can have a fresh new start. But let go of the baggage, whatever that may be.

2. What helps or hinders the situation- 4 of wands- Time away from each other has been good. Relaxing and kicking back, enjoying the moment, not stressing is what will help things. Going out and having a good time but not putting any strong expectations on the outcome. Doing fun things that you both can relate to and enjoy, but nothing heavy or real demanding. I feel like the subject of marriage is an issue that weighs heavily and adds anxiety. Dating and enjoying the experience of each others company is what is needed here. Dinner with friends, go on Living Social or Groupon and find really cool, different and interesting stuff will help you both to really learn who each other is, yet not make anyone feel like they are under a microscope or being pressured or tested. This kind of stuff is a really good way to see past the best-foot-forward we all put on. It will show you how compatible you are. Do you enjoy the same things, are you both advernterous, or are you both home bodies? Do you like to go out to eat, or is take-out and Netflix what you both rather? Do you both enjoy meeting new people or is one of you more of a recluse who would be just fine never leaving the house. And how do you compromise if you have a different opinion or plan? Do you respect each others space and independence or is somebody co-dependent? Take the stress of and you can both see who the real person is.

3.How you see him- The Lovers VI- It's very interesting that you both got very similar cards here in a lot of ways. You both got 6's, and they are about re-establishing balance and re-organizing what you want to create. I'd say in a lot of ways you are very well-suited. You see him as husband material, a keeper not just a fly-by-night-and keep-it-movin'. A person you could grow old with, who is not afraid of commitment. Was he married before? You feel a sense of balance and mutual respect.

4. How he sees you- 6 of Pentacles- He sees you as an equal partner, someone who understands that a relationship is give and take. He sees you as a very giving and generous person who may expect a lot, but only because you damn sure give a lot. He sees that you have a lot to offer, and that you balance him out because in a lot of ways you really "get" him. He sees that ride-or die woman who may smack you upside your head when you need it, but will love and stand by him through thick and thin. This man sees your worth, he values what you bring to the table.

*clicking on the picture will enlarge in for better view of the cards*

5. What's best for you- King of Swords- Ok chick, I'm just gonna say this point blank-- what's best for you is to make a firm decision and stand by it. And that means do you want him or do you want your ex, because this card is the one that represents you ex! You've got to cut the ties you have to the ex if you want things to happen with this one. He is much more emotional that your ex. It's harder for him to bounce back after heartache, he is much more sensitive. No two ways about it, the energy of the feelings you have for you ex will create a wall between you and this man. Even though it souns like I am addressing what's best for him, it really is what's best for you. You don't want to get hurt, but you don't want to hurt anyone else. Not making a choice will keep you from really knowing what you want or seeing what is best for you . You've got to clear off your plate. If you are supposed to be with the ex, it will become evident ONLY after you let him go. Sounds ass-backwards, I know, but that's what I really feel. And you will only know if this cat is what's best for you if don't have thoughts of someone else dancing in your head.

Another thing I feel from this card is have you taken time alone without a relationship and just gotten a clear understanding of who you are and what you want. Not having to consider anyone else but what You. An extended period of time as a single woman not dating anyone and getting in touch with who you are.

6. What's best for him-The Chariot VII- He may or may not show his emotions easily, but he is very emotional. What's best for him is to have a clear direction of where he wants things to go. I feel like he is a long haul kinda guy. The emotional yo-yo, whether it's him or its you who is pulling that string, will wreck him. He needs security and affection. Someone to come home to who he can trust and feel safe with. He needs control, but not necessarily in the negative sense. In the sense that he has peace of mind because he knows his heart is in safe care.

7. Advice/Outcome- 5 of Wands- This just reiterates letting go of stressing out over the outcome, wracking your brain to have all the answers. It's gonna drive ya nuts! I still feel like getting out and being social and having fun is key. With him, but also on your own. Passion is not just in the bedroom, it's what are you passionate about in life, things that make you smile 'till your face hurts, laugh until your side is splitting! If both of you let things flow and you will really see things from a whole new perspective.

8. Bottom Line- The Fool 0- It looks like there is a definite possibility, dare I say probability of a a fresh start. This card is all about that child-like fearlessness that kids have. They take risks and are excited to do so. It is all well and good to take the experiences from the past to kind of guide you, but don't let them keep you in a box. If you can't see the forest for the trees, you will never know what wonderful things lie ahead of you. But look at the number of this card, 0: you gotta work from ground zero with a fresh new approach, an open heart and an open mind. You two may have a few challenges but the fact that you seem to respect and want to work together will go a very long way to that marriage you want being healthy and happy.

I hope this helps and gives you some insight as to what is best for you,

Relationship Reading For a Client: Will My Ex and I Get Back Together?

This is a reading I did via email for a client. Her is her request:
I got divorced a yr ago, but I want to know if my ex and I will get back together. He's dating someone right now though. 


This is the reading I sent to her via email:
First of all, I don't know if you've ever had a tarot reading before. Think of it as a snapshot of your life right now and the energies around you at this time. Everyone has free will, so either you or the other person can change things based upon what choices are made.

The first thing I notice is how many cups and fire you have in the reading. so this shows me a lot of love and a lot of passion as well. I also notice the lack of pentacles and only one sword and it is not the most positive of swords to say the least. That tells me that there are some major communication issues and that ideology or logic is in question and that there is not a solid foundation that is present. A lot of growth and nurturing needs to take place because there are a lot of security issues.

1. Where things stand right now- The Sun XIX- Well for you to have the question you do, this is a most auspicious card. The cards want to start talking about focusing on the bright side. It seems that there is a lot that is positive and to be hopeful for. It reflects that at one point there was a lot of happiness and joy. But that healing and growth needs to take place.

2. What helps or hinders- 10 of Cups- Wow, again such a positive card, the card of the happy family and marriage. The fact that you both want the emotional support of a relationship is what is in your favor for reconciliation. But my eye is also drawn to dark woods in the background. Did something happen before you guys got married that is still an issue because it wasn't dealt with or brought to the light?

3. How you see him- 2 of Cups- You see him as the yin to your yang, as your true mate that you want to have a very deep connection with. The person you want to share your ideas and feelings with, but in a very deep and profound way. You see him as your rock, your strength. Like maybe you are opposites in many ways but that is a big part of what attracts you to him. 

4. How he sees you- 4 of Cups- I feel like he doesn't really see the gift he has in you, your unshakable loyalty. You are ride or die, 100% committed and your love is so pure. I question whether or not he realizes how lucky/blessed he is to have that. What issues from his past again are hanging over him and causing him to be distant and detached. He may need to get out of his own head so much and realize that not everything can be planned out and followed like a business plan. And in all fairness to him, what things did you do when you where dating and first fell in love that you stopped doing? The things that attracted him to you and made him want to get to know more about you and made him excited and feel that passion.

5. What's best for you? 5 of Cups- It's like what's best for you is to let go and move on. If things have a chance to be worked  out, you need to take care of you and do a lot of healing. It is imperative that you gain a sense of independence. So that both of you know that you want him, not that you need him. I think you feel like that would be dishonoring your strong sense of commitment, but that will actually prove it. You have to be committed to yourself first. And stop beating yourself up. Take responsibility for what you should, but stop beating yourself up! Whatever you did or maybe that you didn't do is gone and over. All you can do is start from this moment and move forward. But you can NOT continue to beat yourself up! Nor let anyone else beat you up for anything! You have to move on and let go if there is any chance at reconciliation. Because he has GOT to respect you more.

*click on the picture to enlarge it*

6. What's best for him- King of Wands- I feel like he needs to grow up in a lot of ways. It can be hard to balance work, home, wife, friends, other family, hanging with the boys, ect. But if he wants to be in a marriage, he's going to have to start to work on it. And work itself cannot be his scapegoat for everything. Is he a work-a-holic? Does he have the Peter Pan syndrome? What is he not facing or want to deal with or put his energy into? What's best for him is to re-define what he is truly passionate about in life and what success really means to him.

7. Advice/outcome - 9 of Swords- There is a consistent theme of not facing something and ghosts from the past that need to be faced and put to rest. Something that keeps one or both of you extremely stressed and  literally gives you nightmares that wakes you up at night. It's time to face the demons of the past or they will continue to haunt you, both individually and separately. And with any other relationships that may come in the future. I think counseling or spiritual advice will really benefit you all. The power of prayer can do amazing things, but again, human beings have free will. So it's up to us what we choose to do, or not do. This card says to me that if there is a chance of a new beginning, there has got to be a definitive ending. The loss of a relationship or marriage is just like a death and so a period of mourning and all of the steps that go along with that are necessary for healing to begin. And anger and acceptance are part of that process.

8. Over all Bottom Line- Judgement XX- This is the card being used to sum up all of the rest of the reading. It says to me that there is a good chance that reconcilation is possible. But a lot of very hard work is needed here, it won't be an easy road. This is known as the card of second chances, the do-over card I call it, taking things to the next level. But it also means that a lot of courage is required and a lot of healing is required if there is a chance to reconstruct this marriage. And I say reconstruct and not rebuild here because a whole new foundation needs to be established, a completely clean slate to work from. Some huge emotional situation needs to be overcome. This is the Archangel Gabriel giving the call to you both. It's time to wake up and choose what response you want to give to this call, what you want out of your lives, separately and as a couple. But I am coming back to that 2 of cups. This card is about PARTNERSHIP, not just a relationship. If two people are not working together toward a common goal, it's just a relationship, not a partnership. And if both of the partners are not on the same page of what they want to get out of being together then you are not working together. Prayer is talking to God. Meditation is being quiet and still long enough to listen to the answers. Find time to be alone and light a white candle and start writing a letter. To God, to yourself and to your ex-husband. Get your feelings out on paper. Then come back to it and read it after 3 days. I feel like your answers will be in that writing.

Sending you love, healing, and prayers to you. Please feel free to give me your feedback

xoxox

Relationship Reading: Chuck and Sparkle

A friend asked me for a reading on a love interest. I decided to try Rhiannon's relationship spread using her deck the Faulkner Tarot. She has a fabulous YouTube video on how to do it. This spread involves a lot of cards, 16 of them. I had a hard time trying to figure out how I was going to take picture of the cards. Should I break it up with several pictures in groups? I chose not to and to do a shot of the entire spread so we could actually see the cool way she lays the cards out. I just put it in the middle of the reading. If you click on the picture it will enlarge it so you can see the cards in more detail.

1-3. What does Sparkle bring into the relationship? Well, all three cards are swords, so right off the bat that tells me that Sparkle is very stressed about realtionships and that she may need to work on her communication skills. Perhaps she can be a bit cold or use her words as weapons. First card is the 9 of swords- aka "the nightmare card" which reiterates the stress and often times actual nightmares. Being right next to Justice XI this shows her recent divorce is still very fresh in her mind. It seems she was in a relationship that was extremly painful and her heart is still very heavy. Next to it is the 4 of swords, the card that says you need to rest and take care of yourself. All together, this group is telling me that she needs to take time to heal from a whole lot of nasty shit from the past that still haunts her. Letting go of old ghosts that still haunt her. Everything is energy and the energy of her past relationship or her ex is still clinging to her spirit, which makes all the sense in the world. Even though we know it's best to leave a situation it doesn't take away the pain. Right now, I see her bringing a lot of old wounds and a need for self-care and nurturing. It's great to see she has learned to set boundaries, but I fear she has set up walls.

3-6. What Chuck brings to the reationship? He seems to bring a lot more emotion and openness than Sparkle, but he still has his own apprehention and fear. The first card is the 3 of cups. I think Chuck wants a good healthy relationship, commitment, something where he feels safe and supported, but also fun and happy times they can share together. The next card, the Ace of Swords, shows he is still scared a bit shitless but wants to take the plunge, break out of his comfort zone. Is he afraid of loosing his personal freedom if he gets into a relationship? And this next card is the Queen of Cups. Who is she? Is she the woman from his past who may have been emotionally manipulative? Did she not treat him as an equal or does he have some "mamma's boy" tendencies?

7. How Sparkle sees Chuck- Page of wands- Chuck seems like his ass is a whole lot of fun! She sees him as wild, adventurous, and sexy as hell! Chuck really makes her all tingly in naughty places lol! She sees him as a break from the monotony of life and a fresh new start.

8. How Chuck sees Sparkle- 6 of Swords- This makes me think that the Qof C we jsut saw is someone from his past. He sees Sparkle as moving on to a less stressful time. Someone he can do fun and romatic things and who will appreciate him for it. But he also sees her as hiding something. He sees that wall she has up.

9. How did Sparkle first see Chuck? When they first met, what did she think? - The Hanged Man XII- She saw him as a very strong possibility she wanted to pursue, but she saw his apprehention, his need to take things slowly and in his own time. I like how this shows that she has learned from her past to see a person as they are, not who she wants them to be.

10. How did Chuck see Sparkle when they first met?- 2 of pentacles- He saw her stress and trying to find her footing and balance in her life. He saw she needs to take things slowly as well. I also think he saw that she is the type of person who is such a giver and that she gave so much of herself in the past yet never had it balanced out with recieving from her ex that she is just tapped out at the moment and needs to continue working on her own needs. I like that, it shows he thinks about others and not only himself.

11. What are Sparkle's fears that could block this relationship? 9 of pentacles- Well Chuck ain't the only one who fears loosing his independence huh. The 9ofP is all about someone who has worked long and hard to get to wear they are. A person who has learned to love themselves and is very independant. They like the company of others, yes, but they do not need anyone else! Her fear of loosing herself in the relationship in another person could block thngs.

12. What are Chuck's fears?- Knight of Cups- I think he fears getting all caught up in the romance of it and I also think he fears rejection. Is there a shy aspect of Chuck? Or is it again that QofC from his past who kicked his ass emotionally and made him insecure? This man needs a lot of emotional reassurance.

13. Outside influences in Sparkle's world- The Lovers VI- I feel this goes back to her divorce since this card often has to do with marriage. It also has to do with choices and balancing the head with the heart. Are there issues other than the ones already mentioned that are major choices in Sparkle's world that are making her have to choose what road to take?

14. Outside influences in Chuck's world? The Knight of Pentacles- Is work or money making and planning for the future in a slow methodical way a major factor in his world that would infuence him? Or does he see that this relationship would be a lot of hard work and he is trying to go very slowly to see if it's worth it. Not in a cruel way or that he is seeing Sparkle in a negative light, just a mature assement of of his life and what is best.

15. Outcome- 5 of swords- I hate to say it, but I have to be honest in my readings. The 5ofSw is just a nasty card that really doesn't have a good side to it. I see the two of them just rubbing eachother the wrong way and things getting nasty and stressful, bringing out the worst and not the best in each other. The 5ofSw is about gossip, and shit-talkin', and empty victories. Shit hits the fan and the gloves come off and people fight unfairly.

16. So I jsut had to check another card to see if there was anything else we could find out. I did the card at the bottom of the deck which sums it all up, the bottom line of it all.--Damn... 10 of Swords. I hate like hell to say it, but it does not look very promising to say the least for this relationship. 10ofSw is another one of the most nasty cards in the deck. It shows starting over, but from a place of a lot of pain and stress and emptiness. Which I guess kind of comes full circle from the first cards we laid out to begin with.

. 

Follow If You've Been Down the Same Road

So I saw a post on Craigslist for an apartment. I had seen it last week but I dragged my feet and didn't act on it so I thought in my indecision it was gone. I saw it just now and was like, "wow...is this a second chance??" So I whipped out my Faulkner Tarot and did a 3 card. First row is the pros of taking it, the second is the cons:

Row 1: 9 of Swords, 3 of wands, 0 The Fool
....Ok...this is pretty damn clear...Hello Krysten!! 9ofSw is the nightmare card, and I had one last night. Taking this place will end the insane amount of stress that being in limbo is causing. The sleeplessness, the nightmares, the clenching my teeth which leads to my hair falling out of my damn head (lovely!) and the endless tape recording of thoughts reminding me of how fucked up things are. The graveyard scene on this card says to put those ghosts to rest. I'm not really living right now, just kinda existing, floating from place to place, like a ghost. The church window shows I need to go inside a safe place. (Like a permanent place of residence...ya think!) The 3ofW shows a deal has been made, there is a fair exchange. Funny, yesterday I kept hearing the phrase "fair exchange is no robbery". The Fool 0 is all about taking a risk. He has no fear, he makes the decision to take a leap of faith and he goes for what he wants. He has trust that his experience mixed with the love of the Universe will lead him down the right path. The bright sky and the rainbow stands out most to me-- good luck from out of the blue. I think the Fool also means a house move as the Brits say. The elemental dignities work great in this trio. Fire is flanked by two air cards. The fuel needed to take action, make decisions, is present to feed and strengthen my will.

Row 2: Page of Pentacles, Queen of Swords, The Chariot VII
Again, the glaringly obvious....the Page of P shown here is adorable little Lola in reality, but the cards are telling me that I know EXACTLY who she is in this reading...ME. My inner child! I'm supposed to be the QofP but I'm not acting like a mature, responsible adult,  but like the scared little girl who loves to get lost to fantasy, just like Lola in her princess gown and feather tierra as she hides from the world behind her wand. The wand also says I have exactly what it takes to create the magick I want to occur in my life, but like the Buddhist proverb says, "A sword in the hands of a coward is useless." Which is exactly what the QofSw is thinking as she looks back at the Page. The QofSw is a very bold, direct, balls-to-the-walls decisive woman. She cuts through the shit and keeps it moving! And The Chariot shows the back and forth time and time again I've been  doing will only continue. Hell, it literally shows it! Philly to New Orleans! The constant moving from pillow to post I've done the since last Nov! And when I think of elemental dignities, this poor QofSw is in utter hell in this position. She is trapped between earth that won't budge and water that is too wishy-washy! And together those two are just making mud!

Ok....time to call the guy about the place. And get over the fear of him thinking I'm a total flake and telling me to kiss off. Which is really just my Shadow sides opinion of me huh....

I Walked Into the Lion's Den

 I am happy to say that I have my paws on a few of my decks again. Today I used my Lo Scarabo deck to ask my guides what I need to keep in mind today. Here's what I got:

4 of Swords, Ace of Cups, 9 of Swords

The first thing I notice is the elemental dignities. 2 air cards separated by one water-- don't let emotions keep me from remaining focused and keeping a clear head. Considering all that is going on, this makes all the sense in the world. The demise of friendships is not something to be taken lightly and is obviously a very emotional situation. But I have to not let the hurt, pain, or love, and damn sure not the confusion get me off track. The AofC in the center shows how much emotion is involved and with that nasty ass 9ofSw it demonstrates the severe pain and hurt. And I do think the pain is not just what I feel, but one of  the other parties in this crap feels also. So often the other side of hate and nastiness is love and hurt, and that helps me to be logical about the VERY unpleasant and nasty situation that occurred yesterday. Man....them bitches set my ass UP! (If you've been following this blog since the beginning, the real short version is that I went to get my things yesterday from Helen. Since I don't have a car to move my things, I have had to wait until someone else could make time to help me. I get there, and don't you know Nancy is there! Total set up, my ass unknowingly walked right into the lions den!! Let's just say, it could have gotten a lot uglier than it did, but it was NOT pleasant to say the least!) That 9ofSw is known as the nightmare card and I did have several of those last night. I notice that both sword cards have people with their eyes closed. On the 4ofSw it says that I  need to meditate when it is time to regroup and center myself so I can regain my strength and keep a clear mind to learn the wisdom I need to gain from this situation. The eyes being closed on the 9ofSw shows me that I have got to face my fears and not be bullied or allow ANYONE, including me, to make me feel like shit!! If if I am cornered, keep my wits and be strong. There my be some bloodshed  because sometimes you've GOT to fight. That lock and key on the floor and the fact that dude is in a prison cell makes me see that this was a situation I really did need to get out of.

Having an ace and a 9 says a lot too. Aces, or 1's, are new beginnings and 9's are endings, completion. This says to me that as much as it hurts and I hate loosing friendships, this really is for the best. That whole thing about some people are only in your life for a season . I won't say what part of me thinks, which is that maybe we never were friends. And that AofC reinforces what I have been learning through all of this. That this a huge new opportunity to love myself unconditionally! Conditions on love has a lot to do with how this all got so nasty, but I'll save that for another post. But doubting myself and my own power to change my circumstances is a lot of how I put myself in this situation. It also is reminding me to keep my heart open and not let this turn me into a jaded, closed person. The other thing this triad of cards says is that a lack of clear communication can cause disaster in even the most loving relationships. But if you are not clear with what you tell your own self, how could you possibly be clear in what you convey to others?? And I honestly think that this is one of the major reasons that shit went to hell in a hand bag.

Summer Solstice Reading 6/21/11

Today is the summer solstice, or as many would call it, Mid-Summer. It is the longest day of the year, when the sun is at its zenith, and marks the first day of summer. Mid-Summer has a lot of energy that goes with it. It is a great day to focus on healing, prosperity, relationships, fertility, finances and ways of creating happiness and joy. So I decided to ask the cards what message they have for me today.

I must say....not real pleased at first glance man! WTH?! Ok, lets take a closer look and see what to make of this.

9 of Swords, The High Priestess II, and the 5 of Swords
The E.D. are air/water/air, which to me makes fog. I will need to keep clear head and not let my emotions make me confused. A bit of a task for me ya know.

The only card that makes me feel any kind of positivity is the High Priestess, my favorite card of any deck. But next to these two janky cards, I just don't know! I think She is trying to tell me that I have GOT to follow my own path and stop stressing about what others think of me! My life, my choices, my call to make. I have to turn inward to find the way that is best for me. I have to learn to trust mySelf. 9ofSw is the nightmare card, and I kinda remember having a few the other night. 5ofSw is such a nasty card! And being next to the HP I wonder if it is a woman who is talking shit and causing dissension with regard to me. Unfortunately I can see where that is totally possible right now. It could also be my own mind. As the tag line for this blog says, "There are 5 chicks in my head and all of them have way too much to say. These are their stories." So it could be the nonstop chatter in my own mind that keeps me so stressed and in a state of fear and doubt. Uncle Al is attacking this poor man on the card. Is that just me attacking me?? And is it the 5ofSw in my head that is keeping my inner HP from being able to have a voice and show me the path to my own feminine power that I can never seem to stay on? Quite probable, but I drew one more card to see if I could get a bit more clarity, and the 8 of Cups came up and the 10 of Pentacles is on the bottom. This takes me back to the possible shit-talking female. I may be moving again and, and it may not be under the best conditions. 

8 of Cups, 10 of Pentacles 

Crap.

This is SO not anywhere near what I was expecting, but I guess the cards tell you what you need to know, whether you like it or not. 

NOT!!!