This deck doesn't really speak to me, but it's my emergency deck that actually belongs to my "wife". I almost always have at least one deck on me at any given time. Tonight is not one of those times. So here I am, with... Well, the box just says "Tarot", so please do not ask me the name of it. If you read Dixie's blog, you know she uses it and it seems to speak clearly to her. Any damn way, I got the Ace of Pentacles. A hand, appearing out of the pitch darkness, has a pentacle in its grasp. Is it accepting or offering it? Not quite sure, but all around are 9 dandelions floating about. I say I just need to continue truly believing that the things I've been wishing to manifest into my physical reality will do just that. And when it does, express my gratitude and take joy in being able to share the wealth with my loved ones.
This card is from the Hanson-Roberts deck, which is the very first tarot deck I ever owned. I've drawn the Ace of Pentacles. A beautiful pink and purple sky gives way to a huge golden pentacle, surrounded by white lillies with bright green stems. All if this gives me the feeling of a bright future on the financial front. The thing I often get when I see the star of the pentacle on the AofP is that keeping priorities in perspective by honoring Spirit and my own personal spirit is important. I'd also say getting the Ace of Earth on the second day on the new year and just after the New Moon in Capricorn is an auspicious sign. And today was one of th best days I've had financially in a very long time and for that I am most grateful! Maybe because of the catchy little tune I've been singing that I heard in a prosperity meditation, "Money is comin' to me!" The great thing about the AofP is it bodes well for creating security and stability that has far reaching effects. Thank the Goddess!
Ok, so if you are in any way involved in the tarot community, then surely you are no stranger to the very public situation with regard to Janet Boyer and the extremely disturbing material she has written and published. I had no idea that she had ever written or said anything ugly about anyone until last week. Now have I known of her for many years and assumed she was a very well respected name in tarot who has written a number of books. I guess she does a lot of reviews and prides herself on being known as a very tough reviewer. But I had never heard anything negative about her. Actually, I'd never really heard anyones opinion one way or the other about the woman until about a week and a half ago. I was on one of my favorite FB pages (I honestly don't remmeber which one right now) and a lady I'd never heard of named Abella asked a question with regard to getting people to either visit your blog or to make comments on it, or something like that. (As you can tell there is a bit of paraphrasing going on, but I will make it obvious if I am directly quoting anyone) The next thing I know Janet Boyer made some really fucked up comment to the effect of Abella being stupid and therefore no one would be interested in anything she had to say. My mouth fell open, and I thought to myself what a harsh way of joking she had. Surely she was not serious...? Long story short, it became quite clear that no, she was not joking and several people came to Abella's defense, one of whom I'd love to meet one day. I think his name is Jordan. Mannn, he lit into her ass like a firecracker on the 4th of July!!! And he was very smart about it by putting out there certain facts that Janet Boyer could have used against him. (Smart cookie Jordan! Disarm the bully and they don't have any ammunition. I know I'd never want to get cussed out by you lol!) I responded how surprised I was that anyone would make such a hurtful and uncalled for comment, then just sat there with my mouth still hanging open catching flies. The shit was going down in that thread of comments!
Ok long story short, I then was made aware that as bad as this was, it was nothing in comparrison to other things she has said about various members of the tarot community, in particular Donnaleigh de LaRose of Divine Whispers and the Blogtalk radio show Beyond Worlds . Things that are ridiculous, insane, dare I say, evil and most probably illegal. And she made said these things public knowledge in a book she wrote!
Look, we all have had people we didn't like. Hell, maybe even hated. But putting pen to paper to graphically express your visions of murdering someone, at a damn tarot convention (?!!), who is a real person and not a fictional character (maybe if she ahdn't used a variation of her victim's real name she could have possibly argued it was a work of fiction and not personal desires journaled and published) and then going on to describe defecating on the body of said murdered individual while hanging her ass over the lady's grave is some not only fucked up, it is homicidal and I'd venture to say illegal.
I've done about 3 readings on this. I wanted to make sure that the Tarot was talking, not me projecting my own opinions, which I admit, are pretty strong. I intentionally used two different decks that are both considered "dark" so as to not show any bias. I even did each row based on alphatetical order of their names. Hell, I even used reversals (Rx) which I almost never do!
I used Ferol Humphrey's 5 Card Commentary spread.
Row A = Donnaleigh
1. Short answer: Ace of Pentacles~ Well Donnaleigh, I'd have to say that my suspicions about the legality of this issue are correct and you will be having some financial compensation headed your way, not that any amount of money is worth all of this hell. It also shows how scary and huge of a beast this all is for you to have to slay.
2,3, and 4. Long answer: Queen of Wands Rx, The Tower XVI, The Magician I, 7 of swords Rx: Please don't let this turn your creative process upside down or drain you of your vibrant energy that is so bright and the reason so many people are so drawn to you. Hold on to what is sacred to you and know that you are leading the way for others in this situation. I do wonder with that Tower if there are more unpleasant surprises headed your way unfortunately. I suppose a nasty court case would explain that. And you clearly have been under fire by some very nasty blows. But you are an extremely intelligent woman who has everything you need to fight back, cut through all this shit and get your life back. And again I see money. And a lot of people as you know have rallied around you in support.
5. Advice: 7 of swords Rx~ My advice though is to please be cautious, which I think you know. The 7of Sw is often called the "sneaky bastard" card. There is something or someone I think who is not trustworthy or feeding Janet information.
Row B= Janet Boyer 1. Short answer: 10 of Scepters Rx
2,3, and 4 Long answer: Judgement XX, 3 of Grails, Ace of Grails Rx~ Janet I'd have to say that it is about to be judgement day for you lady and it looks like a fiery pit awaits. You dug your own grave. This card for me also means re-thinking ones career or a second chance at a career you always wanted. I'd say a new line of work may be the way to go since you have burned most of your tarot bridges. The 3ofC says to me tht jealousy and wanting to be the center of attention got you into a lot of this trouble, Being next to the Rx AofC I wonder if she have a drinking problem. At the very least it shows she does not know how to play nice with others. 5. Advice: 10 of Knives Rx~ Damn lady. Another 10 that is Rx. With swords being about communication and also conflict, this again shows me the death of your writing career. I also feel like she is going to play the innocent victim. And the Gemini glyph of the woman's necklace makes me think of severe bi-polar issues.
Though I am just making this post, I decided early on to take a stand and did so in several FB posts. And I am proud to say many others whom I like and respect did so as well, in particular Lisa of Tarotize and Hannah of Tarotmantica, and the lady who writes the really cool 78 Notes to name a few. As a Capricorn, bullying, injustice and cruelty are things I have always spoke out against. Even as a kid in grade school when other kids where picked on. I even went toe-to-toe with my Adv Foreign Policy teacher in high school for picking on another student. I can't stand a mean asshole. But you ain't seen a meany until you have encountered an unstable, pissed off, vengeful, mean Scorpio who talks openly about killing somebody! (And I am actually speaking from personal experience with one of them. Dear Jesus you have no idea the level of crazy those people can reach) Oh hell no! So for these reasons, I am choosing to boycott Janet Boyer. I personally feel this bitch is crazy as a shit-house rat and want no parts of her.
But the good that I can say that has come out of this madness is getting to meet and know so very nice people. Unfortunately it happened because of all this.
*if you are not comfortable with harsh language, you may not want to watch Eminem's video that follows. But I think the lyrics couldn't be more perfect.*
"Holding on to anger is like holding on to a hot coal with the intension of throwing at another" ~Nichiren Diashonin
I have heard the call of the Goddess so strongly since I got back to New Orleans. I have been practicing Nichiren Buddhism for the past 2 years. I am so happy that I did. But She has called me back and it is a feeling down deep in my soul.
My 40th birthday is right around the corner. I have been dreading it because I feel SO unaccomplished in my life. Nothing is as I'd have hoped at 39. But I finally have turned the corner on my feelings about that. Like my grandfather used to say, "If you don't like getting old, try the alternative" My friend Willow suggested I do a banishing spell so I have a clean slate to do a spell on the new moon to bring the things into my life that I want. So I have done a very simple but powerful spell. I haven't been a practicing witch in several years so I no long have alter supplies. Plus where I am it is very difficult to do spell work. Here are the items I used:
writing paper
1 silver candle
olive oil
sea salt
lemon zest
1/2 & 1/2
a white paper plate
purple ink pen
tarot cards- the High Priestess II, 9 of pentacles, Empress III. Ace of Wands, Ace of Pentacles, 6 of swords, and The Hierophant V
I sat down and I wrote a letter of forgiveness to everyone I harbor any resentment or anger toward. It was actually not as hard as I expected it would be. (I guess once a week for 4 years with a shrink actually does pay off. Humph.) But I just let it rip, anyone or thing that I still had beef with. The Scorpio ex b/f, the airline I used to worked for, my parents, previous roomates. (And if you've read any of my posts from Feb-June, then you know that bullshit was real hard to do!) Even the individual who date raped me when I was 19 and took my virginity. I didn't even realize that was still an issue at this point in my life. Not a big one, but there is still some anger and hatred no doubt. But 20 years is a really long time to be pissed off no matter how good of a reason. It was a bit of a challenge to not be judegmental and to also assume responsibility for my part in things when needed, yet not blame myself for things that were not my fault or beyond my control. And that brings me to the most important person I had to forgive- ME! All 5 of them crazy chix in my dome! I have to banish the self-doubt, anger and negative feelings about myself, my life. It's like... it's like being an emotional hoarder. Let that shit fucking go man! Free your mind, your ass'll follow! I'm sick and tired of being prisoner to Fear and Doubt. They got ta go!
You will notice the big shiny reflection of the counter top. Normally that would drive me crazy and get cropped, but when I was taking the pix it looked just like the full moon shining down. So I kept it.
So I wrote my letters/notes. Then I selected the cards that coincide with my intention and with the energy of a Taurus full moon. The HP II because I want to stop doubting my self and my intuition. I have more than enough life experiences at this point that I damn sure can start to have complete trust in myself! And how gorgeous is she in this deck, plus the full moon on it. 9ofP beacuse I want to be an indpendant, self-sufficient woman who has a wonder home and is secure and comfortable within her own skin. Plus this card represents the 9 disks in my back that bothered me for so long. And we all know how much I love black cats and Catwoman. This is my all time favorite 9ofP! The Empress because she is associated with Taurus, but more so because I have never had kids because if fear and doubt. Fear of loosing my independance and personal freedom and fear of finances, another Taurus issue. Also because I recently found out that at 38 I started menopause. Are you fucking kidding me... But my gut tells me don't believe it as far as fertility. If I choose that I really want one, I will have one. I've decided I do since I have been around a baby everyday for 2 months. But that'll be in another post.
AofW- again the mom issues and creating the life I want in general and having it filled with passion and energy. And the fertility aspect. This may just be the most gorgeous AofW I have ever seen! AofP- Taurus and money security issues. I want to remove my negative and false ideas about money and prosperty in general.
The Hierophant V Rx- Ruled by Taurus and all about following what God/Goddess direct you to do. Also about not being a slave to what society says is "right". I felt this version really captured that. 6ofSw Rx- I've made posts about how this version looks like the guy in the front is Fear and the one in back is Doubt and they are keeping this powerful creature enslaved. I want to move on to a better life and freedom from negativity. I don't ususally use Rx cards but for this spell I did on these last two because these are things I want to banish. I just took the picture right-side-up so we can see what the cards look like.
I have my silver candle burning right now as I type this out. That way I am further infusing it with my intent, which is what magick is all about. If you want to know more about casting spells, check out Rowan Pendragon's site. She is amazing and a wealth of knowledge.
*this was actually done on 11/11/11 though it is being posted a day later
I have been listening to Florence + The Machine while I have been sitting here. I love their music so much. Rabbit Heart I think is perfect for this! Because I will no longer be a rabbit-hearted girl! (Lyrics below the video.)
FLORENCE + THE MACHINE LYRICS
"Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)"
The looking glass, so shiny and new
How quickly the glamour fades
I start spinning, slipping out of time
Was that the wrong pill to take? (Raise it up)
You made a deal, and now it seems you have to offer up
But will it ever be enough? (Raise it up, raise it up)
It's not enough (Raise it up, raise it up)
Here I am, a rabbit hearted girl
Frozen in the headlights
It seems I've made the final sacrifice
We raise it up, this offering
We raise it up
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
I look around, but I can't find you (raise it up)
If only I could see your face (raise it up)
Instead of rushing towards the skyline (raise it up)
I wish that I could just be brave
I must become a lion hearted girl
Ready for a fight
Before I make the final sacrifice
We raise it up, this offering
We raise it up
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
Raise it up, raise it up
Raise it up, raise it up
And in the spring I shed my skin
And it blows away with the changing wind
The waters turn from blue to red
As towards the sky I offer it
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
The first thing I thought of when I saw the first card was my sister in Atl who I have been visiting. It's the Chinese goddess NuKua (my sister is half Chinese). The 8 of Pentacles is all about learning, education and promotion. As I looked at the picture I thought of how I taught her about Nichiren Buddhism. Also how much I have learned about my life while I have been here and how much she has taught me, especially about the amazing, unbreakable bond we have after almost a lifetime of friendship. Of how she helped me to pull myself out of the nasty mud of depression I was in, and put up with my crazy ass and still loved me through it . So I decided to look up some more info in NuKua and will add a link to that. Thalia Took, creator of The Goddess Oracle Deck, said, "She is the tempering influence that calms situations and brings level-headedness." (I have been watching the creation of this deck for years and can NOT WAIT for it to be complete so I can be one of the first to purchase it!) This really sums up how my sister has helped me deal with the craziness that has just unfolded in my life. I also notice the huge bright light that looks like a portal that the people are walking into as they leave Her. It says to me that I am leaving ATL to walk into a very bright future.
The next card says the choice is mine, the 2 of Swords. It also says not to be angry with my old room mate, to choose to bury the hatchet that I literally have been feeling with the stabbing pains between my shoulder blades. Also not to forget the lessons learned and to make much better choices about my life. The presence of earth cards and an air card shows I need to not be so fixed and be more flexible so I can take decisive action, something I suck at.
The on the bottom of the deck says the bottom line is to see how very fortunate I am and actually have always been throughout my life in so many ways no matter how dark things may have been and to be grateful for all the many blessings I have been given and the good fortune I have created.
Also how very fortunate I am that my sister found me after all these years!!! Aces are all about new beginnings, and we have a whole new beginning to our relationship. And I have a whole new beginning to my life. The A of P is all about something firmly rooted that continues to grow and prosper and produce tangible results that are quite valuable.
This woman's quilting I found on Flickr is so beautiful and I really like her interpretation on the Goddess NuKua.
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