I decided to try Lisa's Owning Your Own Epic Greatness spread. Elementally I see I am odds with myself because fear (cups) extinguishes my enthusiasm (wands). I'm not grounded enough in the mundane world of logic and cutting the bullshit (one earth, no air)
1. My greatest fear about owning my own epic greatness? - Rx 10 of wands - my greatest fear is how to break out of the prison of fear. This also shows my fear of hurting my back again. Also the fear of having to assume responsibility and getting overwhelmed.
2. Challenge to overcome this fear- My glorious Rx High Priestess II - I have to push past the boundary of indecision, that constant nagging fear of "getting it wrong". I need to trust myelf more and see myself as the powerful woman that so any others see me as. So many people are drawn to me, tell me their deepest, darkest most sacred secrets. Things that could change or even ruin life as they know it.
3. Let go - The World XXI - At first this threw me for a loop, but I realize it is the negative people or situations that are around me at times. If we are all mirrors reflecting the people in our lives, then that means those negative aspects that are within me. My being stubborn and ridged in my approach. My being focused on what why things will go wrong and not why they will go right. My ego and its many bruises. Not believing on magick, especially my own. And not celebrating my accomplishments. Anyone who mirrors this I need to remove from m orbit. Even if they are really good people that I care about.
4. New channel of support - Rx Princess of Cups - Waiting, ever so patiently, with so much kindness and love are brings in both the mundane and the esoteric realm. They are committed to supporting me in any creative, intuitive, or emotional means of expression. And to learning to have consistent inner peace, regardless of what is going on around me.
5. Leadership responsibility - Ace of Wands - Wowww. A whole new way of living and leading others from the darkness of fears similar to my own. Spiritual liberation born from creating hope.
I need to marinate on the depth of this...
But I can say that I have taken steps toward all of this in the past week. Lets see