Tonight's card is just ultra fucked up given the news I received a few days ago.
I'm in the UK for a few months. I made went to great lengths to make sure my dog was well cared for while I'm gone. Long story short, I found out she hung herself. How you ask? Good question. Because that would mean I'd know why the fuck she was outside in the summer in New Orleans in the first damn place after making it abundantly clear she could not be since she has a thick, all black coat. And more over, why in the hell was she on a got damn leash, tied up when she has two very large backyards to fun and play in since my neighbor opened the fence between our yards!? I don't feel like talking about it at all, so I won't go into anymore detail except to say that I had my ex boyfriend who is still a very close friend (if you follow this blog, yes, Joshua and I are great friends lmao. Whoda thunkit!?) go around to check on her since my neighbor was ignoring my phone calls. In the middle of lying saying she was fine, another neighbor comes up and says, "yeah, that's so messed up that dog hung herself".
So this card, The Hanged Man XII, that I've never had a hard time with is now what the Devil and the Tower once used to be for me, a the worst card in the deck to get. Right now it reads like the two of them plus the 9 of swords, 10 of swords, 3 of swords, Judgement and Death. I want the rename it "The Hanged Innocent Belgian Shepherd" . I see the coins falling out of his hand. I've lost something more precious than gold. I thought she was in safe hands. Nope. She's in the ground and the afterlife. I pray she can forgive me. And that I can too.
I love you Selene. I'm so very sorry.
Like that can fix anything. Ha.