My Dark Passenger Is Restless

I'm funny about tv. I once went 3 years and turned on the tv in my apartment a handful of times, the Phillies playoffs and World Series games becoming the exceptions. Well back in January when I was in The ATL I made up for lost tv-time like a banshee with two particular shows that I am now addicted to. Supernatural is one, but that is for another post.  I had been told by friends about a particular show that they just knew I'd love, Dexter. My beloved friend Peanut and his partner where so excited for me to watch it, they bought the whole damn series on their Apple TV. And instantly, like a moth to a flame, a crack addict to a 1/4 rock, I sat and watched ALL 5 SEASONS BACK TO BACK! Yes, 12 episodes a day for 5 days in a row! Now, I do at least have the common decency to be embarrassed, but still, I'm ok with it. Because I LOVE ME SOME DEXTER MORGAN! And Harry! And Deb, and Masuka, and Angel, and Rita, and Harrison. Hell, I even loved Lila. Well, at first. Luemen for some reason just got on my nerves. Anywho... Season 6 just premiered last Sunday and I haven't yet been able to see it and my own Dark Passenger who hungers for the show is very restless.

(The Death XIII card from Tarot of the Sweet Twilight. Doesn't the girl look just like Lila!)

If you don't know anything about the show, please be advised, it is not for everyone. It is about a vigilante serial killer. The plots and storyline and characters are so well written and complex. If you are the faint of heart or easily offended you most likely are not on this blog, but just in case, Dexter is probably not the show for you. But if you are a fan, then you know how I am longing to curl up on the couch and reconnect with America's favorite serial killer!

Romance Reading

Someone asked me to do a reading on what is blocking them from true love, and requested I use my Tarot of the Sweet Twilight.  So let's see what the cards have to say:

1. What do you need in a relationship?
2. What you will bring to a relationship?
3. What behaviors or beliefs are blocking you from what you want?
4. How can you transform those things to put you on the path to get what you want?
5. Outcome if you follow the advice of card 4.

1. The Empress III- You are all about the love and passion! The Empress is ruled by the planet Venus. You love romance and need to be courted and treated like the precious gift you are, even to be spoiled. But this can NEVER come at the price of your independence. I'd also say that your...eh-hem... shall we say... "earthly desires"... Oh hell, we're all adults here! You are NOT playing about your sex! LOL You are very sensual and adventurous and sex is a huge part of how you express your love for your partner. You also need to nurture and to be nurtured in return.  But I wonder if this can lead to problems by you finding men with mamma issues. Either they are mamma's boys or they don't have good relationships with their moms and expect you to fill that role. You are extremely protective of your partner and loyalty is of the utmost importance. Not just fidelity, but let's say someone was mistreating you or being unfair. Even if you were somehow wrong in the situation, your mate had better defend you tooth and nail in front of others, and be a little careful when mentioning the situation in private as well. You are very emotional and can be a bit moody, but your love is as rock solid as Mother Earth herself, and you need a rock solid commitment.

2. 4 of Wands- This is known as the marriage card. You are looking for the real deal and are looking for a partner who will be your rock, your refuge. Again, I feel that passion is a key component and you have plenty of it given the fire of a wand card, but you will bring a lot of stability, comfort and security with it. Your partner can come to you and talk and express their deepest, inner-most feelings or fears and know they have your total attention and concern. (This also may be where you need to watch for the mamma issues. You may want to take over and fix things, in stead of letting them handling their own problems and you just stand by and support them) You also have the ability to make them feel at ease just by your presence because you are very intuitive and aware of what is going on inside of them. You make your partner feel inspired and motivated to work at creating a good relationship because you are.

3. 9 of cups- You may not be getting what you want because you may have a few unrealistic expectations. This also shows that you may tend to be extremely emotional and get swept away with the fairy tales we were all sold about what love is/should be. I'd also say a bit more inner transformation with regard to self-love needs to take place.

4. 2 of swords- Find balance between your head and your heart. I feel like you get swept away with the passion and emotion and don't always see things for what the really are and that makes you either turn cold or lash out at the other person. But before you get involved, this card is telling me you need to take a good long look at what you really want so you can make better choices. Sometimes even if we don't know what it is we want, we know what we sure as hell don't want. Write those things down in two lists and then refer back to it to make sure the choices you make in partners is in sync with your choices on the list.
    Another thing it's saying is about communication. Start working on how you communicate with others you are close to now so that you'll have better skills with your partner.  I'm wondering if you clam up when you are upset and then when your emotions get to a point you can no longer hold them in, you come on like a hurricane and slice them to ribbons with the words you use. Make sure you get enough alone time to sort through the things in your head, but don't make your partner feel like an outcast when you do. Explaining that this is crucial to you feeling even and balanced and that it doesn't mean you don't love them or that you are rejecting them will go a long way.

5. Knave (page) of pentacles- You have the strong potential to set the ground work for a solid and stable relationship. I love to see pentacles in romance readings because of they symbolize growth and strength that is long term and steady, not fly-by-night. Being a page, this also addresses healthy communication skills. If follow the advice of the previous cards, you can end up feeling confident about the choices you make and get tangible results. For some reason I feel like your mate may not fit the "norm" of who you or others around you may expect or think you should be with. But as long as you both share the same values and goals, you'll have something that is healthy and has the potential to evolve and grow.

Mabon 2011

I am still such a witch at heart. I practice Nichiren Buddhism now, but I will always be a witch. The word "sabbath" comes from the Celtic word "sabbat". In the Wheel of the Year there are eight sabbats, or days of high celebration based on the seasons. Most years September 21st is called Mabon, but this year it will fall on the 23rd. This holiday is  the Autumnal Equinox and marks the beginning of fall and is the witch's Thanksgiving and special rituals are performed to give honor to the God and Goddess. For more information, check out Rowan Pendragon's wonderful blog. So I decided to do a spread based on the meaning of this holiday.









~Magickal Graphics~

1. Where am I now in my life?                                                                                
2. What do I need to be most thankful for right now?
3. What do I need to respectfully let go of?                                            
4. What else is still left for me to harvest?                          
5. What do I need to complete before Samhain (Halloween)?
6. How can I get the best possible results?    
      
                                                          2    

                                             4             6          5




                                                  1             3                                            
(laid out in the shape of a star)

1. King of Wands- ok, this is most definitely one of the last cards I would have thought I'd have gotten in this position because kings are all about success and accomplishment. And right about now, I ain't too accomplished or successful. But as I studied the card, I see the mirror behind the king. I am now doing a lot of reflecting on ways to create the life I want, one lived with passion and joy. As I look at this king's face, he looks kinda sad and depressed. I'm not sad or depressed now, but I dang sure am not setting the world on fire. I'm going to have to give more thought to why this card came up in this position. Maybe it means I'll get hired for the flight attendant position I applied for.

2. Queen of Swords- I think this is my trainer/physical therapist who is a QofSw/Aquarius. I am so thankful for how far she has brought me in regaining my physical health and strength!! She's an air sign, assertive and very focused and goal oriented. I know my earth sign, much slower paced behavior can drive her crazy!! She is a wonderful friend to me who has been an angel in so many ways.

3. The Hierophant V- I need to let go of worrying so much about getting things "right"!! What will others whom I see as being in positions of authority think of me. I need to let go of any guilt I feel for not being where I "should" be in my life. The yellowish-brown sky is making me think I need to do work with  my solar plexus charkra. That is the chakra of personal power.

4. 8 of pentacles- The first thing I notice is the castle wall; I need to have a safe haven, a true home for myself. For some reason the blocks looked like bones for a second. I need to continue working on strengthening my spine. The 8ofP is also about training, education. I think this shows me getting invited to go to F/A training, which would be fantastic.

5. 3 of wands- I first notice that this angle is looking back and card 4, looking back at training, and the 3ofW is about things coming together, signing a contract, a deal made, creative forces coming together. Since training is 5 weeks, I can't be finished with it by Oct 31. I notice the steps the angel is on and her beautiful clothes. I need to take all necessary steps to be ready for training. Practice interview techniques, learning the 3-letter city codes, and having a couple of interview suits. I also wonder if that means I am going to the Witches Ball in New Orleans on Halloween and I need to get my ball gown.

6.Chariot VII- Be more decisive and stop letting my emotions run me ragged. I've got to stop getting all caught up in how things are going to work out when I can't see the how and just focus on why and how awesome it will look and feel when they do.
                                          

Gitter dun!

I recently got the Dark Angels Tarot and let me tell you, not only do I love it but my guides are doing backflips! I will have to do an interview with the deck later today. Right now it's hard because in addition to the usual problem of not having a scanner, now I have the additional issue of being kinda far out so my cell reception is all but non-existent, so I can't usually upload the pics from my phone. *sigh*

So I do asked my guides what they wanted me to know today. These cards really seem to want me to do the Rockstar reading when I use them (center card is the focus, the other two support it). I got the 3 of pentacles, Ace of Swords, and 10 of swords. I laid down the 3ofP before laying the other two. The first thing I noticed was the 3 pentacles are at the top of the card and that made me hear Snoop Dogg saying, "I got my mind on my money and my money on my mind". This card is about the completion of a project and the recognition earned from doing so. This hits a few points for me. I needed to take care of some financial stuff, and had just done so before I did the cards. The angel on here has started a sculpture, but to me it doesn't look finished. And the lady in the background is like she is saying, when are yo going to finish because I want to purchase it! I need to finish setting up the FB account for Creole Moon Tarot and send out Twitter invites. Ferol over at Living Tarot just gave me a huge compliment the other night on the comment I wrote on her nightly FB question. I've had some very pressing shit to worry about as of late, like, a place to live and all, so this has made me more scattered that the usual (God and Goddess, scary!)  I need to master the art of not getting so damn side-tracked. I am the worst at not finishing projects.
The AofSw (and aside for Rhiannon Faulkner's, this deck has my favorite now) has been on my mind a lot lately. I need to do a post just on it. But this cracked me up and then even more so when I pulled the 10ofSw! I mean, can you get much more of a neon sign that you need there are things that may be very challenging or scary, but I need to see to the end, start to finish! In stead of the usual dread that goes with the 10ofSw, in this reading it just said what one of my dearest friends says when he completes a task, "Done and done!" These two cards show cutting the bullshit and getting it over and done with so you can rest without stressing that there is still more to do. Get'er dun!

Follow If You've Been Down the Same Road

So I saw a post on Craigslist for an apartment. I had seen it last week but I dragged my feet and didn't act on it so I thought in my indecision it was gone. I saw it just now and was like, "wow...is this a second chance??" So I whipped out my Faulkner Tarot and did a 3 card. First row is the pros of taking it, the second is the cons:

Row 1: 9 of Swords, 3 of wands, 0 The Fool
....Ok...this is pretty damn clear...Hello Krysten!! 9ofSw is the nightmare card, and I had one last night. Taking this place will end the insane amount of stress that being in limbo is causing. The sleeplessness, the nightmares, the clenching my teeth which leads to my hair falling out of my damn head (lovely!) and the endless tape recording of thoughts reminding me of how fucked up things are. The graveyard scene on this card says to put those ghosts to rest. I'm not really living right now, just kinda existing, floating from place to place, like a ghost. The church window shows I need to go inside a safe place. (Like a permanent place of residence...ya think!) The 3ofW shows a deal has been made, there is a fair exchange. Funny, yesterday I kept hearing the phrase "fair exchange is no robbery". The Fool 0 is all about taking a risk. He has no fear, he makes the decision to take a leap of faith and he goes for what he wants. He has trust that his experience mixed with the love of the Universe will lead him down the right path. The bright sky and the rainbow stands out most to me-- good luck from out of the blue. I think the Fool also means a house move as the Brits say. The elemental dignities work great in this trio. Fire is flanked by two air cards. The fuel needed to take action, make decisions, is present to feed and strengthen my will.

Row 2: Page of Pentacles, Queen of Swords, The Chariot VII
Again, the glaringly obvious....the Page of P shown here is adorable little Lola in reality, but the cards are telling me that I know EXACTLY who she is in this reading...ME. My inner child! I'm supposed to be the QofP but I'm not acting like a mature, responsible adult,  but like the scared little girl who loves to get lost to fantasy, just like Lola in her princess gown and feather tierra as she hides from the world behind her wand. The wand also says I have exactly what it takes to create the magick I want to occur in my life, but like the Buddhist proverb says, "A sword in the hands of a coward is useless." Which is exactly what the QofSw is thinking as she looks back at the Page. The QofSw is a very bold, direct, balls-to-the-walls decisive woman. She cuts through the shit and keeps it moving! And The Chariot shows the back and forth time and time again I've been  doing will only continue. Hell, it literally shows it! Philly to New Orleans! The constant moving from pillow to post I've done the since last Nov! And when I think of elemental dignities, this poor QofSw is in utter hell in this position. She is trapped between earth that won't budge and water that is too wishy-washy! And together those two are just making mud!

Ok....time to call the guy about the place. And get over the fear of him thinking I'm a total flake and telling me to kiss off. Which is really just my Shadow sides opinion of me huh....

Facing Fear About Another Move

The first thing I notice is that 4 outta 5 cards are water; I've got to get inspired (no wands cards), get grounded (no pentacles). At least there is one air card and it's a major. I chose to use a spread that Lisa uses on Tarotize. First card is the situation, card 2 is what's influencing it, 3 is advice or action to take, 4 is the outcome if card 3 is followed.

I have to post the pictures later unfortunately...

The 6 of cups today shows me how the girl is courageously yet calmly facing something very scary. Since this cards traditionally has to do with past emotional connections, I feel like she is telling me to think of past situations that I have dealt with scary things by choosing not to fight them but to face them head on. I have to do this like she is treating the bear. From a place of patience and calm and compassion. I tend to be very very hard on myself. The ground they are on looks like a turtle today for some reason. This is a slow process for me, but I have to keep going. And I have to do it at my own pace and not compare myself to other people who are much quicker in dealing with things. Yet the primary situation I am dealing with makes time a huge factor. It needs to be dealt with and a solution like yesterday! Or more like last week actually! The castle is so far away. I am still looking for an apartment and I am scared shitless. I ran from Hurricane Irene and ended up running to another tropical storm. I feel like this is telling me to face the fear of going back to Philly. It's really hard to look for a place there when I'm 900 miles away. Where will I sleep if I go back tomorrow?? That would be the big giant bear I have to face and what is making me very slow to want to go back.
What's crossing is Justice XI. I see the snake first and it looks like her sword has the snake pinned in place. I had a dream the other night about snakes all around me. They were however not actually hurting me physically. Again the theme of facing fears. Maybe I will find a sense of balance when I do. I see how very calm Lady Justice is and her soul is singing. Damn I wish my soul was a peace enough to sing. Her eyes are closed and she is concentrating of manifesting what her soul longs for. (This card also makes me think of a certain legal situation. Wonder if that is about to get wrapped up??)
Advice is to stop blaming myself for things beyond my control. Would I treat anyone else as harshly as I do my self? No. Balance my emotions. I see now there is a snake with a sword, but it is a caduceus here. And I notice they are on a bed. I need to get back to work with my trainer to continue to heal my back. And I do have to buy a new mattress.
The outcome seems to show a new chance for peace if I can just stay calm and ride out this storm. I see her looking ahead to something, so I will pull another card for clarity.
HA!! The 9 of Pentacles!! The card that is my ultimate goal of aside from the High Preistess and this deck has my absolute favorite version of it! It screams Independence, security, self-confidence and the financial means to take care of myself! It's like she is looking at the Ace of Cups and showing her she can do it!

Have a Magickal Saturday

Just feel like posting something and since I am camera-less at the time, I found this lovely graphic. Happy Saturday!


Magickal Graphics