Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Facing Fear About Another Move

The first thing I notice is that 4 outta 5 cards are water; I've got to get inspired (no wands cards), get grounded (no pentacles). At least there is one air card and it's a major. I chose to use a spread that Lisa uses on Tarotize. First card is the situation, card 2 is what's influencing it, 3 is advice or action to take, 4 is the outcome if card 3 is followed.

I have to post the pictures later unfortunately...

The 6 of cups today shows me how the girl is courageously yet calmly facing something very scary. Since this cards traditionally has to do with past emotional connections, I feel like she is telling me to think of past situations that I have dealt with scary things by choosing not to fight them but to face them head on. I have to do this like she is treating the bear. From a place of patience and calm and compassion. I tend to be very very hard on myself. The ground they are on looks like a turtle today for some reason. This is a slow process for me, but I have to keep going. And I have to do it at my own pace and not compare myself to other people who are much quicker in dealing with things. Yet the primary situation I am dealing with makes time a huge factor. It needs to be dealt with and a solution like yesterday! Or more like last week actually! The castle is so far away. I am still looking for an apartment and I am scared shitless. I ran from Hurricane Irene and ended up running to another tropical storm. I feel like this is telling me to face the fear of going back to Philly. It's really hard to look for a place there when I'm 900 miles away. Where will I sleep if I go back tomorrow?? That would be the big giant bear I have to face and what is making me very slow to want to go back.
What's crossing is Justice XI. I see the snake first and it looks like her sword has the snake pinned in place. I had a dream the other night about snakes all around me. They were however not actually hurting me physically. Again the theme of facing fears. Maybe I will find a sense of balance when I do. I see how very calm Lady Justice is and her soul is singing. Damn I wish my soul was a peace enough to sing. Her eyes are closed and she is concentrating of manifesting what her soul longs for. (This card also makes me think of a certain legal situation. Wonder if that is about to get wrapped up??)
Advice is to stop blaming myself for things beyond my control. Would I treat anyone else as harshly as I do my self? No. Balance my emotions. I see now there is a snake with a sword, but it is a caduceus here. And I notice they are on a bed. I need to get back to work with my trainer to continue to heal my back. And I do have to buy a new mattress.
The outcome seems to show a new chance for peace if I can just stay calm and ride out this storm. I see her looking ahead to something, so I will pull another card for clarity.
HA!! The 9 of Pentacles!! The card that is my ultimate goal of aside from the High Preistess and this deck has my absolute favorite version of it! It screams Independence, security, self-confidence and the financial means to take care of myself! It's like she is looking at the Ace of Cups and showing her she can do it!

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