Light a Fire Under My Ass

So I've got a major dilemma and very, very little time to figure it out. So I decided to keep it simple for once, and just use two cards and assign positions today:

First thing I notice is the elements fire/air. They are a work perfectly together. And it shows that I need shit to happen on the quick, no time to waste. (I've wasted quite a bit...I know... Me?! Shocking huh...lol)

1. What do I need to do? Page of Wands
Pages are all about communication and the Page of Wands is the one who makes sure it gets done sooner rather than later. He's energetic and enthusiastic. But I notice that this page is chillin' just sittin' back playing his guitar. Wth?....He's telling me to stop sitting on my ass like I have all the time in the world cause I don't! Make calls, contact folks via internet, make moves Girl! Chop-chop! And don't be dumb and not use my gift of gab and charm. I often feel like that's cheesy and shady. Which if used in a cheesy or shady way, it would be. When used as the gift that I have, it's not. I suck at a whole lot of things. Talking to people and being warm, sincere and engaging ain't one of them! So do that! I think him sitting and looking relaxed is to tell me not to stress no matter how stressful things are. Be calmly confident, yet aggressive.

2. Best course of action to make that happen? Queen of Swords
I mean look at her! She is clearly one not to be messed with who is not taking not for an answer! And I never noticed before that she is tied to a burning stake! Yet this chick is sooo not scared!! (I ain't scurred! lol) She looks like all hope is lost but she is so not thinking about that! She is devising a plan, a strategy, as is so characteristic of QofSw. She is determined, focused and courageous. She reminds me of a witch burning at the stake (still blows my mind that was really done to people!) I think I may need to do a little candle magick. The moon right now is waning and in Gemini, one of the signs that represents this Queen. It's a good time to do magick that removes blocks with regard to communication, making a plan, being assertive, focused, direct and determined and cutting out all the bullshit while doing it. The asp at her third eye makes me think of Isis. I've got to keep my thoughts positive and clear as to the result I want, NOT think about what I don't want or am afraid of happening.

There are no other people on the card; she knows that no one is around to pull her out of the hot seat, she's got to save herself this time. Being afraid or not focused will lead to her detriment. She's got a fire lit under her ass. Even though I can see no way of her getting out of this, the look on her face just screams, "Oh yeah?? Watch me!!"

A Message From the Goddess Rhiannon

So I asked my guides and angels, "What do you want me to know right now?" (I am so sorry for the crappy picture! Scanner/printer gods, hear my plea! lol) Since I am supposed to have been at the gym, the first things that this says loud and clear is to get off my ass and put it on the EFX lol. I really do not like to exercise, but  the benefit can not be denied. Mental clarity as well as physical action, swords. This is the Goddess Rhiannon. So this is now telling me a couple of other things. First, I needed a refresher on Her, so I found some cool info at this site, http://www.goddessgift.com/goddess-myths/celtic_goddess_rhiannon.htm  The author summed Her story up like this: The story of the Celtic goddess Rhiannon reminds us of the healing power of humor, tears, and forgiveness.  The goddess Rhiannon is a goddess of movement and change who remains steadfast, comforting us in times of crisis and of loss.

I definitely am still in a time of crisis and lots of changes I need what's interesting is that when I did my morning prayers, I specifically focused on accepting and welcoming change and that needs to change with my thoughts and attitude. So a Swords card makes all the sense in the world and even more so this particular one now that I have learned even more about Rhiannon.

The other thing this says is that I need to pull out my Faulkner Tarot, which was actually gifted to me my Rhiannon Faulkner herself. I am planning to go to Washington DC this weekend to do some professional readings, please pray that scheduling goes off without a hitch so this can actually happen. It's a big step for my scaredy-cat ass, so wish my luck lol! I will make sure it is one of the decks I bring.  Also that I need to take her up on her offer to be an approved instructor for her deck.

How Can I Co-operate With God/Goddess

I was at a blog I think you should all check out, Tarotize.com. The lady's name is Lisa and she had another blog, Tarot Healing, that has taught me a lot and been so inspirational.  Today I  found a great spread she created and I'm going to try it. I absolutely love the title of this! I mean when you think about it, isn't that where a lot of our troubles stem from? The lack of understanding and thus lack of co-operation on our part?

HOW CAN I CO-OPERATE WITH GOD/GODDESS?

1. General answer to the question: Wow...let's just start off with a bang here lol. The Fool 0. The basic answer I need to focus on is that I need to trust in the limitless power of The Divine, and thus my own limitless power! Trust that everything will be great and that is what I will pull to me. At first the wolf looks so scary, but I just heard that saying the old folks use, "God protects babies and fools!" And now I am realizing that the child has the wolf on a leash! The child is in control, NOT the wolf!! Trust that I am more powerful than my fears and then I can harness them and train them to behave the way I see fit. This way, I don't have to act foolishly, but can have that lack of fear and total confidence that children have when facing a new adventure. You can not kill your Shadow self no matter how much you dislike it. But once you lovingly accept that you must co-exist with it, you can transform it and use it to your advantage. The baby is not focused on the wolf now, but on that beautiful rose, new life, hope, beauty, creation, and it's like the rose is bending down for him to grab. The red color and that the child is firmly seated is making me think of how much I need to do energy work on my root chakra. The color for it is red and it represents knowing that one has a right to be here and is safe, that the Universe supports you.

2. When I'm alone: Choose to face my fears, and start with the really scary ones first. The Lovers VI is ruled by Mercury who rules communication and speed, which just went retrograde until the 28th  and tht tells me a few things.A) Again a sign that blogging is good for me. 2. I need to continuously, actively choose to keep my thoughts positive and be clear and direct in my prayers. If I'm sending mixed messages to the Divine, I guess all I could get would be mixed results.  3)Don't get too caught up in my own head as I tend to do and do NOT see mySelf as a fcking powerless victim. True, I've got some scary and overwhelming shit to deal with. But either deal with it or it's gonna deal with me! The knight coming down from the sky makes me think I need to ask Micheal the arch angel for help. Been getting a lot of signs about angels lately,

3. When with friends and family: Another Major Arcana, wow! And my beloved High Priestess II. She is telling me to stay true to mySelf and trust my own intuition. No matter how wise and sincere those who love me are, I have GOT to listen to and trust my own inner Goddess!! This card never ever leads me astray.

4. In my professional life: Are you serious, another Major!? lol! I SOOO have to get my resume' out to more airlines and do some readings for others! Again, the whole babies and fools theme, and also be brave and stop going round and round in a maze of confusion that gets me nowhere fast. Breakout of my own self-imposed prison and go for it. The Sun XIX is as "yes" as you'll ever get to any question! Yet ANOTHER reminder that I will be hugely successful in both areas IF I get my shit together and go for it. The one child holding the other child's make me think of my biggest supporters these days, Suzette, Marjorie, Ray and my dear friend in the UK, Karen. xoxox

5. Around those who are negative or try to thwart my efforts: ......You've GOT to be kidding me.... I swear to you I shuffled well and no, I have not been doing anything with only majors lately that would explain this.... Justice XI This tells me that others will always be judging me, but I can NOT listen to that crap. The beam of light as she looks upward tells me that it's not what anyone other than The Divine thinks. I just watched The Town, again last night. Such an amazing movie! This card is reminding me of how Doug's best friend Jim was such an sad and judgmental asshole. He didn't want Doug to succeed because he didn't want Doug to do more and grow to be a better person because of his own insecurities. They came from a place where honor was the law of the land, but it became a very twisted and unjust weapon that people used against each other. But Doug had finally grown and learned from his mistakes, and they where some huge ones. There are a lot of parallels to be drawn, but I know this card is telling me SO clearly that the friendships I have recently lost where no longer healthy and it was time for them to end. Just like Doug, I don't want to blame, judge, or punish others for  how they choose to live their lives, it is not my place and it is not healthy for anyone. Karma is very efficient, She does not need my help. Just for me to keep being true to mySelf. Honor and being a true friend has to start within your won self first.

What an amazing reading this was! And this many majors is a neon sign I need to come back to often and take head. Thank you Lisa for sharing this spread. 

RIP Sweet Amy Winehouse

I just now heard that Amy Winehouse is dead.... WTF.... I am surprised at how upset I am, but I can't seem to stop crying. My heart is so broken. Last night I drew a card from my Faulkner deck before I went to bed to see what today may hold. Needless to say I was not pleased when I got The Tower. And here it is. A beautiful, talented-beyond-words, 27 year old woman who's life was snuffed out like a candle flame. I fucking hate drugs. I hate what they do to the people who take them and to those of us who love them.

        * Please note, many tarot readers feel that predicting death is highly unethical. I tend to agree, as we are human. Though it works through us and is in us, we not God/Goddess/The Divine. Each and every human we may read for has free will  as does each and every human they come in contact with, and that is a huge part of why card eadings are not set in stone or an exact science. Can one see how The Tower applies in this situation? Sure. This is an extremely shocking event that has come out of the blue today and has been extremely upsetting. But to predict actual mortal end of life, it would take a hell of a lot more cards than just this one. And again, as the scripture says, we know not the hour. So my advice, do not ever predict physical death. If you truly feel a client is in danger, THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK and choose your words VERY carefully!! Like saying that you see they need to be sure to lock their doors and don't take foolish chances while driving or walking alone, or swimming, or they need to go to a medical doctor for a check up, ect. In my opinion,do yourself a favor and don't do it.

Night of The Dancing Flame

I woke up this morning and saw something walking sideways on the window screen..... I knew I needed coffee, but damn. Then I realized that this was not just caffeine deprivation, but that a very large  moth was trapped in between the window and the screen. Now as nocturnal of a creature as I am I could only imagine what a true creature of the night was going through, trapped in an east-facing window, the direct sunlight burning it and acting like kryptonite on the poor thing, or like sunlight to a Vampyre! So I opened the window and patted on the screen and the poor night angel fell down on its back on the window sill. I realized time was of the essence for her because she was almost dead. I got a papertowel and it grabbed hold and I placed it in a cup. Then I cut a piece of yarn and dampened it with water so it had food and drink and went downstairs and put her outside. I was so afraid she was dead, but then she let me help her on her feet. I think she will be ok, I sure hope so.

So the question of the day is what is the message to me in all of this? I went to a site that a very cool and knowledgeable lady named Avia Venefica has, http://www.symbolic-meanings.com/ to read over the symbolism of moths. Wow does she have a ton of great info! (Btw, I only just realized last night that all of the time I have spent adding links to the end of posts and NONE of them seem to have EVER taken...WTF man. Anyone who can let me know what I'm doing wrong, or how to---shit I don't even know the proper computer speak....to make it so when you click on words it takes you to another page, like it does when you type in www. I would SO appreciate it!!!)

So as I was getting the night flyer ready to be released, a few things came to mind. How I too hate feeling trapped. How I have always hated morning but a learning to embrace it since I have to get up early anymore. How I FINALLY set up my new blog last night (YAY ME!) that will be public and this winged lady of the night confirms the name I have chosen for it. How breathtakingly gorgeous the moon was last night!!! Huge, full, and orange, like a picture of Gotham City. How she made me think of vampires, creatures I love so much. How when I was a flight attendant I always tried to work red-eyes. I knew I had to use my Halloween Tarot which was a very special gift from a wonderful lady I met in the French Quarter 2 years ago on what proved to be a very special night. I wonder if any Sword cards will come up since moths have to do with air and because in this deck they are on the face cards. Let's see...

6 of Imps(wands), 8 of Bats(air), Queen of Imps(wands)

The first thing that strikes me is the elemental dignities- Fire/Air/Fire-  Whatever I think of or imagine happening will happen because of what is motivating me. Less talk, more action though. The 8 of  Bats catches my eye first and this is how I feel in a lot of ways, and how my moth friend was, trapped. To me it looks like bats are tyring to help the woman get free from the extreme limitations holding her back from the safety of her home in the background. And look at where she is! Talk about between a rock and a hard place man! Just like the moth was. And today those strips of white are not the usual cloth I've always seen them as, but feel like toilet paper. Surely she can just bust through that, or she can fall into the water so it can just dissolve where she can swim to shore or her bat friends can carry her back to dry land. Like my moth, sometimes we need a little help to escape awful situations before we can gain our freedom and independence. I've been made very aware of angles lately. Another elemental creature of the realm of Air. And Black Cat is already helping---follow my intuition. Once she removes the paper from her eyes, she will see that everything around her is awesome! The 6 of Imps is victory an the Queen of Imps is the woman who can do what 10 people can do with style, grace and laugh the entire way. It's like the little imp from the 6 who held Black Cat is bringing her hope and joy in the form of that sunflower. My moth was here to keep me inspired to not give up.
Now, the card at the bottom is The Lovers IV. Since I am having to make posts from my phone and someone else's computer, loading photos is a pain in the ass lately! So it may or may not get pictured. (I took a picture of Lady Moth after I had taken her outside so lets see if I can post it. Maybe she can bring my ass a scanner lol. Corse, I do have MUCH bigger needs these days lol!) A brief description is that a  woman is laying in her bed, Black Cat over her head, and a Vampire is coming in her window. She seems quite shocked, yet quite calm and he looks very excited. Her German Shepherd is looking at her, not him, and not barking, just very calm. Ok...with regard to the question at hand, the bottom line is that Lady Moth was sent or maybe even drawn to me. The candle on her night table says this, and reminds me not to get distracted. And she is reminding me I have to use my intuition (Black Cat) to guide me toward the right choices. Change is something that I have never liked, but this says that this is a time for drastic change, a whole new way of life. It will be very different, maybe scary. But change is happening and if I allow it to, it will transform my very stagnant way of being into a life of true happiness.

This card also makes me think of an old flame, for a lot of reasons. The moth to a flame metaphor, which is exactly how it was when said person and I met. In New Orleans. A man who loves Vampyres as much as I do. Who walked in on the very night and in the same bar while I was talking to the woman who gave me this very deck of cards. Who is an Aquarius, or in this deck, the King of Bats. Which has a huge moth that has lit on his throne just above his head.--- I won't even get into the other signs I have had in the past few days including today with regard to him..... wtf man.

Full Moon in Capricorn 7/15/11

Tonight is a full moon and She is in Capricorn. If you have any issues with regard to career/work, security issues of any kind, loyalty, money, being tenacious, or knees and teeth, this is the time to light a candle and say a prayer while focusing your intent on resolving those situations with the best possible outcome.

Since I am a Capricorn, I'm going to have to take my own advice on this. But it will have to be tomorrow. Now, it's time to lay it down and catch some Zzzz's.....

I Walked Into the Lion's Den

 I am happy to say that I have my paws on a few of my decks again. Today I used my Lo Scarabo deck to ask my guides what I need to keep in mind today. Here's what I got:

4 of Swords, Ace of Cups, 9 of Swords

The first thing I notice is the elemental dignities. 2 air cards separated by one water-- don't let emotions keep me from remaining focused and keeping a clear head. Considering all that is going on, this makes all the sense in the world. The demise of friendships is not something to be taken lightly and is obviously a very emotional situation. But I have to not let the hurt, pain, or love, and damn sure not the confusion get me off track. The AofC in the center shows how much emotion is involved and with that nasty ass 9ofSw it demonstrates the severe pain and hurt. And I do think the pain is not just what I feel, but one of  the other parties in this crap feels also. So often the other side of hate and nastiness is love and hurt, and that helps me to be logical about the VERY unpleasant and nasty situation that occurred yesterday. Man....them bitches set my ass UP! (If you've been following this blog since the beginning, the real short version is that I went to get my things yesterday from Helen. Since I don't have a car to move my things, I have had to wait until someone else could make time to help me. I get there, and don't you know Nancy is there! Total set up, my ass unknowingly walked right into the lions den!! Let's just say, it could have gotten a lot uglier than it did, but it was NOT pleasant to say the least!) That 9ofSw is known as the nightmare card and I did have several of those last night. I notice that both sword cards have people with their eyes closed. On the 4ofSw it says that I  need to meditate when it is time to regroup and center myself so I can regain my strength and keep a clear mind to learn the wisdom I need to gain from this situation. The eyes being closed on the 9ofSw shows me that I have got to face my fears and not be bullied or allow ANYONE, including me, to make me feel like shit!! If if I am cornered, keep my wits and be strong. There my be some bloodshed  because sometimes you've GOT to fight. That lock and key on the floor and the fact that dude is in a prison cell makes me see that this was a situation I really did need to get out of.

Having an ace and a 9 says a lot too. Aces, or 1's, are new beginnings and 9's are endings, completion. This says to me that as much as it hurts and I hate loosing friendships, this really is for the best. That whole thing about some people are only in your life for a season . I won't say what part of me thinks, which is that maybe we never were friends. And that AofC reinforces what I have been learning through all of this. That this a huge new opportunity to love myself unconditionally! Conditions on love has a lot to do with how this all got so nasty, but I'll save that for another post. But doubting myself and my own power to change my circumstances is a lot of how I put myself in this situation. It also is reminding me to keep my heart open and not let this turn me into a jaded, closed person. The other thing this triad of cards says is that a lack of clear communication can cause disaster in even the most loving relationships. But if you are not clear with what you tell your own self, how could you possibly be clear in what you convey to others?? And I honestly think that this is one of the major reasons that shit went to hell in a hand bag.