Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I Walked Into the Lion's Den

 I am happy to say that I have my paws on a few of my decks again. Today I used my Lo Scarabo deck to ask my guides what I need to keep in mind today. Here's what I got:

4 of Swords, Ace of Cups, 9 of Swords

The first thing I notice is the elemental dignities. 2 air cards separated by one water-- don't let emotions keep me from remaining focused and keeping a clear head. Considering all that is going on, this makes all the sense in the world. The demise of friendships is not something to be taken lightly and is obviously a very emotional situation. But I have to not let the hurt, pain, or love, and damn sure not the confusion get me off track. The AofC in the center shows how much emotion is involved and with that nasty ass 9ofSw it demonstrates the severe pain and hurt. And I do think the pain is not just what I feel, but one of  the other parties in this crap feels also. So often the other side of hate and nastiness is love and hurt, and that helps me to be logical about the VERY unpleasant and nasty situation that occurred yesterday. Man....them bitches set my ass UP! (If you've been following this blog since the beginning, the real short version is that I went to get my things yesterday from Helen. Since I don't have a car to move my things, I have had to wait until someone else could make time to help me. I get there, and don't you know Nancy is there! Total set up, my ass unknowingly walked right into the lions den!! Let's just say, it could have gotten a lot uglier than it did, but it was NOT pleasant to say the least!) That 9ofSw is known as the nightmare card and I did have several of those last night. I notice that both sword cards have people with their eyes closed. On the 4ofSw it says that I  need to meditate when it is time to regroup and center myself so I can regain my strength and keep a clear mind to learn the wisdom I need to gain from this situation. The eyes being closed on the 9ofSw shows me that I have got to face my fears and not be bullied or allow ANYONE, including me, to make me feel like shit!! If if I am cornered, keep my wits and be strong. There my be some bloodshed  because sometimes you've GOT to fight. That lock and key on the floor and the fact that dude is in a prison cell makes me see that this was a situation I really did need to get out of.

Having an ace and a 9 says a lot too. Aces, or 1's, are new beginnings and 9's are endings, completion. This says to me that as much as it hurts and I hate loosing friendships, this really is for the best. That whole thing about some people are only in your life for a season . I won't say what part of me thinks, which is that maybe we never were friends. And that AofC reinforces what I have been learning through all of this. That this a huge new opportunity to love myself unconditionally! Conditions on love has a lot to do with how this all got so nasty, but I'll save that for another post. But doubting myself and my own power to change my circumstances is a lot of how I put myself in this situation. It also is reminding me to keep my heart open and not let this turn me into a jaded, closed person. The other thing this triad of cards says is that a lack of clear communication can cause disaster in even the most loving relationships. But if you are not clear with what you tell your own self, how could you possibly be clear in what you convey to others?? And I honestly think that this is one of the major reasons that shit went to hell in a hand bag.

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