Keep Tryin'

If you have followed my posts for any period of time then you know I am pretty much a strait shooter, so much to the point that I am quite often crass. I'm ok with that. I feel like there is a time and a place for everything. When I created this blog, I kept saying that I just wanted one place in the world that was really, truly mine. Where I could be 100% Me, the good, bad, ugly and in between. Not get caught up in what others think or expect of me. Although I have a very strong sense of propriety, especially in public or formal settings, I can't do fake or bullshit. I am also a terrible liar. But I realize that I so often lie to and b.s. myself-- gp figure. Capricorns have a really bad tendency to do the ignore-it-it will-go-away/ostrich thing. I tend to ignore when things are bad. Hell, I even ignore things when I think they could potentially be bad! That's why I am so horrible about checking my voicemail. I may go a month and not check it. So often it is bad or less than pleasant news. But I don't have the luxury of time to waste any longer. I'm 40 now, Phase II has begun. I always say, if I could just get out of my own way, God only knows how far I'd go.
When I do daily draws I usually ask the question what do I need to know today? But it popped in my head to start asking a different question; "What can I do to empower myself today?" Since my Tarot of the Vampyers is so brutally honest with me, and since I was feeling tough enough for brutal honesty, I asked her. I did my Rockstar Reading (center card is the front man, the two are the backup singers) Here is what she said:

Rx 8 of Skulls - The first thing I heard was "hard-headed". Astrologically this card is the sun in Virgo. It is reminding me that I need to be methodical and pay attention to details. (I am SO not a detail type person!) The whole list making thing goes a long way with me. Virgos are organized and need structure. Of course this card would be Rx for me! Because I really do feel like an underachiever. I get all motivated, but then I loose my steam. Why is that? I really cannot express how much I do not like that about myself.

 4 of Knives - I swear to you, I saw this card in my mind before I pulled it. Today it is telling me not to overdo it since today is the first day I haven't wished for death because of the flu. I notice how the girl is looking at the Rx 8ofSk, as if to say even though I need to chill and still give my body a chance to finish recuperating, I still need to focus on how to address the points that card has made. Focus on its message, but NOT stress! I can't get all wound up and start spinning out on the hamster ball that is anxiety. Maybe I should do some meditation. No, not maybe, I should do some meditation. It's as if the girl is learning from the statue how to calm herself and be still. I can feel the wind blowing through her hair as I look at the card. Maybe I should use this card for meditation.

Rx Prince of Chalices - Oh Lord, these cards are so honest with me it hurts lol. He is reminding me of how I tend to get all emotionally wound up about things, then don't follow through with the necessary action to make my dreams a reality. Then I'm all mopey and depressed like Debbie Downer. Knights go on quests, this one on quests to fulfill his heart's desires. Rx, his ass is just sitting around like Eeyore, "Oh Poo, m'tail fell off..."

I guess all I can do is keep trying. No matter how many times I fail, including when I fail to even try. I have to accept myself without judging mySelf, yet still be honest with mySelf. *sigh* Not easy. But I am determined to keep trying. Hell, it's all I can do huh.

New Moon in Aquarius Spread

I thought I'd try a New Moon Spread. I found this one from a Google search that took me to a blog I'd never seen. It uses the four directions and Spirit to tap into how to best use the energies at this time. It is a new moon in Aquarius.

New Moon in the North - 10 of wands - Don't take on more than I can handle, and damn sure what is not mine. I also see the wands in her hands like weights. I need to work out and build my physical strength. I also need to somehow stop stressing about money. It looks like her eyes are looking down at the next card.


New Moon in the East - The Wheel of Fortune - Brainstorm new ideas. Aquarians just love to plan. I need to write out lists and set  plans into motion about the direction I want things to go in. I see the noon phases above her head. Since this is a new moon spread I really think something significant will happen by this time next month. I think I will make new connections with people who will help spin the wheel in my favor.

*Sorry about that flash. Click on photo to enlarge*

New Moon in the South - 9 of swords - As soon as I pulled the card I heard "Quit being such a scaredy-cat!" This is the nightmare card and in this position it is reminding me that when I give in to anxiety and fear the way I so often do, it keeps me stuck, trapped. I need to use my fears to my advantage and feed the flames of creating the things I desire.

New Moon in the West - 7 of wands - I need to put myself and my own needs first.  I have got to realize that this does not make me selfish!! It makes me smart and a person who values and loves herSelf. It will also make me happier.

New Moon at its Core - King of Wands - If I tap into this new moon in Aquarius energy I can really make some serious headway. I can find success in the things I am passionate about and that will inspire and energize me. Look at how confident and brave this King is. I can hear The Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz say "Courage!" which ties right back in with the message from the 9ofSw in the south.

What are you hoping for in next month or so? Do any of you have a New Moon spread you like?

Happy Birthday to Me and Merry Christmas to You! 12/25/10

I wanted to make another post, but I am fighting a cold, and I intend to win! So I will just leave you with some pretty pictures as my Birthday and Jesus', as well as Christmas come to an end today. I pray all of you had a wonderful holiday, whatever you celebrate. I wish you all health, wealthy, and true joy!

~Magickal Graphics~

~Magickal Graphics~

~Magickal Graphics~

~Magickal Graphics~

No Rain On My Birthday Eve

Today is Dec 24th. Tomorrow is my birthday. I really wish I was more excited about this. Right now, I really am not.

I decided to do two birthday spreads. This first one in this post I found on a ladies blog from a Google search with those two key words.

1. Body and Health - 6 of wands- The butterflies coming from under her hat remind me of how I have been thinking of the transformation I have made with regard to the issues with my back. I really believe that transforming my mindset has gonna very long way in my healing it. And look at how happy she is, feeling on top of the world and proud of what she has done or overcome. This card is telling me that my ass needs to get back on the workout wagon! It gives me so much more energy and vitality. It seems it will be very important to me accomplishing the things I want to, starting with feeling accomplished lol!

2. Mind and Intellect - 3 of swords - I have had several very painful experiences that broke my heart this past year with regard to friendships. But I see how big the person's heart is on the card and that he still shows it proudly. Though he guards it a bit, he is has by no means locked it away. He put a Band-Aide on the wound, but that's not what he is focused on, nor the three swords. He is focused on the three candles. To me they are faith, hope and clarity. His skirts look like a patchwork quilt. My experiences are all what make up the fabric of my life. Some positive, some crappy, but all serve a purpose. I have a bit more healing to do, and the quilt also says to me that I need to  do a bit more work on taking care of and nurturing mySelf. His somber countenance reminds me that though I do a very good job at keeping the daemon of depression at bay, I need to be sure to keep my thoughts positive. Thoughts become words, become actions. become results. Free ya mind, ya ass'll  follow.

3. Heart and Relationships - The Empress III- This is such a lovely version of this card. I notice that there is a lot of green - healing and growth. And being the archetype of the mother, this makes all the sense in the world to me give the situation with my mother and the healing that is slowly taking place with us. The little blue eggs in the nest on her head make me think of my precious little 7 month old cousin Kade. I have never really liked babies. Sorry if that sounds mean or harsh, but I don't. Too much hollering and pooping but other than that, what do they do? Who are they? But this kid won every inch of my heart! He has changed my mind a lot about babies in general. More specifically about me wanting one (?!?!?? yikes!) In terms of the future, does this mean that I will have one within the next year?? If I'm gonna do it it damn sure needs to be soon! At 09:45- exactly 7 hours to the minute from now, I shall be 40.  I ain't no spring chicken LOL! And I just love the skulls on her dress!  So me! Reminds me of this site I tripped over called Baby Goth. OMG!! The coolest kids clothes ever man!

4. Spirit and Evolution - Page of Wands- I freakin' love this interpretation of the PofW! He is happy as a clam! (or a happy bunny) and wants to announce it to the world! I need to remember that HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE. I have been hearing that phrase in my head for several days now. Even though I have always been a very optimistic, 1/2 full kinda gal, I have fought depression for a long time. Again this shows that I need to be mindful of my thoughts and take action to work toward things that will bring me true joy, not subjective happiness. This bunny is doesn't give a poop what anyone thinks! He totally makes me think of one of my favorite videos ever with little girl is in the bumble-bee costume and is searching for other bees like her. I can never remain down after I see that video! He is telling me to live for mySelf and inevitably others will   benefit and be happy. He wants me to be excited about life and get out and experience it! This is Phase II! Stop  bullshittin' and do all the thongs my souls is crying out for me to do and experience. There is NO MORE TIME LEFT TO GIVE IN TO FEAR! Glad I  took the financial risk and bought those flight lessons for my birthday. This bunny rabbit totally took flight lessons! Skydiving too! And he is not afraid to toot his own horn. Self confidence is not being pompous. It is pride in ones acquired wisdom---- where the hell did that come from LOL!? No idea, but I like it!

5. Special Birthday Wish from The Goddess - 10 of wands- Wowwww. She said, put my burdens down! Stop giving myself more work by stressing and working harder not smarter. That way I won't be so overwhelmed and fearful of living life to the fullest. She is also saying that I need to learn to say "No." much more often. And stop feeling driven to explain why all the time. Just politely but simply, "No." I take on too much, don't have a plan, and get burned out. Stop that She says.


I am really liking the Joie de Vivre tarot more and more. It had just the right blend of honesty mixed with its gentility that I need today on Christmas/My Birthday Eve.

First Reading with Joie de Vivre Tarot

Two days ago I got one of my birthday presents to Me from Me, the Joie-de-Vivre deck by Paulina Cassidy. You all know how much I love my dark decks, but I need one that is a little lighter, a little softer. It's got a zany, fun, child-like feel to it, yet still has slight touches of the macabre. The fine, wee little details are not something that I usually go for, so I've been a little unsure about it. But the more that Kiki posted with it, the more I wanted it. So I went through and started to familiarize myself with each card last night. Then this morning I decided to take it for a test run. I decided that for now I will not read Rx with this deck. I set the very clear intention of asking the deck, "What can you tell me about this morning?" Since I'd only been awake about 2 hours, this was asking it to be pretty specific. The first thought I had was about the horrible cramps/stomach pains I was having at that moment. (Uhh, wth? No cycle, but cramps?? Are you kidding me!?) I wondered if The Chariot VII would show up.  It is ruled by the sign Cancer and is associated with the stomach in readings that deal with health. If it gave me the Chariot, I knew we were a perfect match and that communication between us would not be a problem. Here are the cards I pulled:

1. The Chariot VII- LOL! Disco! We have a connection folks!  And notice how she is holding her lower abdomen and looking very disgruntled, just like I was lol!

2. Queen of Cups- I had thought about my mother this morning and the beautiful birthday card she sent me that I read again when I woke up. She is a Scorpio, Queen of Cups.

3. Ace of Cups- The card of renewed love and healing. Again, the Mom situation. Letting me know Arch Angel Raphael is working his magick. And this card is so beautiful. Just looking at it makes me feel soothed and peaceful and safe. The little faerie has her lotus blossom to pour her healing water out into Source. Something about her reminds me of Tori Amos.  She also makes me think of how when doing a spell, you call in the Quarters, the guardians from each cardinal direction. She looks like the perfect vision of the Keeper of the West. And the lotus flower reminds me of the Nichiren Buddhist law of cause and effect. Nam-Myho-Renge-Kyo. The very short interpretation means dedication to the mystic law of the simultaneity of cause and effect  through sound. Renge means lotus flower. It represents cause and effect since it is one of the only flowers that has seed and bloom at the same time. The easiest way to sum all this up is that it is a reminder to me that I can NOT change anyone, starting with my mother. I can only change myself. Choose to act and not react. When you change from the inside, your environment and all that exists it  on the outside will change. I am changing the dynamic between us by the fact that I have chosen to not react, but to choose how I act. Very hard, but I think will be very beneficial.

4. 5 of Wands- I pulled the card at the bottom of the deck and had to laugh out loud! I am NOT a morning person!! I was awakened at 8:15 by my two little cousins being SO loud and arguing! I was upstairs doing the reading. The were downstairs, directly below me!

5. 8 of Swords - the very last thing I thought of while I was shuffling was how there have been so many things holding me back from completely committing to the move to New Orleans. Several things that were stressing me out and I kept over analyzing and thus had me trapped in the fear of making the wrong decision, but there is only one thing now that is still holding me hostage. I think this is crystal clear that the Joie de Vivre is listening to me and speaking with crystal clarity!

Leave Behind, Move Toward Re: Scorpio Mamma

This afternoon I asked "What do I need to leave behind? What do I need to move toward?" I felt drawn to my Deviant Moon Tarot (I so need to do an interview with it and give Lisa a proper thank you. Slacker, I am)

Leave Behind- Empress III Rx- I have only used this deck two or three times since I got it. If I had any questions about how well it will connect with me, those are gone. This is crystal clear that the issue with my mother and I is the answer to the question. I am very slowly, but at long last coming to accept and trust that stressing over things DOES NOT HELP! GUILT DOES NOT HELP ANYONE OR ANYTHING! In fact, it makes things worse if anything. If you knew how much hair has fallen out of my head due to stress your jaw would hit the ground. My doctor's did. This card is telling me that the unhealthy situation of emotional control has got to end. (For the love of God I am 39 years old for 3 more days! Really??) I have  prayed on this and made it part of my Yule Celebration to bring healing and shed light on how we can best have a positive, healthy, happy relationship. Now, I have to trust and allow that to happen and not worry. Easier said than done. Damn Scorpio woman. Agh!

Move Toward- Ace of Pentacles Rx - The first thing I noticed was the pentacle in the dragon's hand. I have wondered why it is Rx when the card is upright?? Pentacles are growth and stability. The pentacle is upright, but only when the card is Rx. I feel like this is saying to me that sometimes things have to happen bass-akwards in order to turn themselves around. This will be a long and ongoing process of healing our relationship. We love each other more than words can say, but we are very very different people who tend to rub each other the wrong way. It makes both of us very very sad. The dragon represents how scary this is for both of us, as well as how scary we can both seem. The dragon's hands on the pentacle say to me to hold onto my faith. I did a spell on this, Let it go and let the Goddess do her work. (Dear God, my mother would drop dead if she heard those words. After she killed me lol. Oye vey)

Bottom Line- Temperance XIV - This card is total confirmation that this deck will speak to me very clearly and that I need to spend some time getting to know it better. The lovely blue angel is pouring her healing love into the bowl. That makes me think of a momma's chicken soup when you are sick. I always see the angel on Temperance as the Arch Angel Raphael, the angel of healing. And he is letting me know that the other cards are confirming how I need to handle this and that he is at work and hear for me and for her. Thank you dear Raphael so very much.

Does anyone else who is a grown woman have Mamma issues?? Please feel free to comment if you have any words of wisdom. I could use all the support I can get on this one. Thx

Yule 2011 Spread

I decided to do a Yule reading and found an interesting spread on YouTube. I made a of of my own modifications since I do not have a Goddess oracle or my Universal Goddess Tarot with me. It is mean to reflect from now until Feb 2, which is Candlemas.



1. Elemental power that is accompanying me? - Rx Page of Coins- Earth is the element. Today marks the transition from autumn to winter, a time of the final harvest to the time of harsh endurance. Reading tarot out in the square is toughest now. The weather keeps people away. It will rain for the next several days here, which totally sux because I sure was hoping to make some very much needed cash. And I haven't heard back from the lady who wanted me to work a party of the 30th. So I am stressing money and times are very harsh right now. I hope that the girl's had on that pentacle means that money will be forth coming and being Rx means keep my head up because the element of earth is with me, so security may be hard to see but it is present. Or will be soon.


2. What is most important lesson form recent past?- 7 of swords- This says to me that I have been through some very stressful times, but I always land on my feet. Do not let anyone or anything steal my joy.

3. Central theme of Yule Night- Rx Queen of Wands- Tonight is about me facing my fears and focusing on how this night of rebirth is an opportunity to reignite my passion about my life, my tarot business for example. Especially as I am about to turn 40 in 4 days. I'm calling it "Phase II".

4. What do I leave behind now?- 2 of swords- I leave behind indecision. (God I hope so!) This card always makes me think of New Orleans and Mardi Gras. It is telling me to leave the fears I have about committing to moving back here to NOLA. My emotions are keeping me from getting a grip on how to best take action.

5. What will be born anew?-  Ace of Cups- Gotta love this! I think it is actually speaking to several things. I think it means as I am starting to love myself more and love this Phase II I am opening myself to being able to receive and give love. Until very recently it has been a real long time since romance was on my mind. I think a new romance is headed my way. I also think that healing and a new way for my mother and I to relate to one another will be "born". I sure hope so.

6. Which present do I receive now?-  The Star XVII- Oh wow!! What a magnificent card! Hope and lightness of my spirit. My angels are with me and will guide me. I just did an amazing mediation I learned from Rowan and I know I was interacting with so many loved ones on the other side, including my dad, my grama, and so many of my pets. My beloved German Shepherd Sasha who died when I was 13, my cat Kat who was the most awesome, coolest cat ever. He died in my arms when I was like 21 or so. Spunky, Autumn, Missy, Jr., Vixen. So many of my pets throughout my life. My Grama, Maddie was her nick-name (pronounced Mo-dey. It's Creole speak, don't ask lol) told me how much she loves me and always asks God to protect me and asks the angles to watch over me. She also to me to tell that to my cousin Dana. And my dad gave me the biggest hug and let me know that everything is going to be alright. He really wants me to move to NOLA. Seeing and actually feeling the presence of all of them so clearly was truly a wonderful present! Thank you!!

7. Which present do I give the world?-  The Chariot VII Rx- Uhh... Huh?? ...... I think it is telling me that the best gift I can give the world is for me to focus in nurturing my own Self. To be decisive in the direction I want to take my life and set that course on my souls GPS. STOP TRIPPIN' ABOUT HOW I AM GOING TO GET THERE! Just set the destination firmly in my mind's eye and the road will be shown to me. I also think it is saying I will be doing some serious traveling in June with regard to what gift I have to offer the world. Hmm...

8. & 9. Which major arcana forces stand by my side now?-  The Lovers VI and The Chariot VII- Ok, so you think the Chariot is trying to tell me something lol? I think the Lovers is speaking to that AofC and speaks very much toward the fact that I want to get married to someone with whom I am extremely compatible. That will happen because I have given a lot of thought on how to make better choices. I have been feeling that whoever "he" is, He is not far away at all. And this second Chariot says again that travel in this time period is definite. If I get The World XXI then I know for sure and it will be international. To stay focused! It's like his bow and arrow is pointing back at the Lovers, like one hell of a kick-ass Cupid lol.

10. Under which Ace does this time period stand?- Ace of Cups Rx-

11. What Ace does that the Universe wants to alert me to? - Ace of Wands- Get yo shit together with your tarot business damnit woman! And send out a few more flight attendant resumes!

12. Message from the Goddess via Shadows & Light Oracle- The Angel of Time #40 ~ "Working to hard!"- This deck always speaks to me with numerology and this tough chick is #40, the age I will be on Christmas. At first I was like, "Uh working to hard?? Is she kidding me?" Then I read the booklet. In short, she said I need to spend way less time on the computer, meditate, do yoga and eat right. And she said to "do this Now!" 

December 21st Blessings

Blessed Yule, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza, Happy Chanukah, Happy Holidays to you all and your loved ones!







Magickal Graphics





~Magickal Graphics~

I Just Wanna Fly

I just bought myself a birthday present for mySelf. On Christmas Day I will turn 40. I'm having very mixed feelings about that. I am not where I had hoped I'd be in life by the time I hit 40. Not by a long shot. I made the determination a few weeks ago that I would not go into the second half of my life with the same crap that has held me back in the first half. So I get this notification from Groupon for an amazing offer. (Groupon is a deal-of -the-day company with offers specific to a particular local area. Anything from manicures to getting your house painted to local attractions and they are most often really great sales). Well I see a deal a few days ago for something I have always wanted to do for as long as I can remember, but never really thought I'd get to do. A total Bucket List kind of thing. Flight lessons! A 3 hour orientation and lesson for only $120! Now I know damn well I can't afford this. So for the past week I have gone back and forth on whether or not to do it. With 40 min left to take the deal or not, I whipped out my Tarot of the Sweet Twilight and asked for her advice. 

*(Uh.. as I am now proof reading this, I just noticed it was 40 min left to decide on my 40th b/day present!)*

1. If I do get it- 10 of swords- At first I was like WTH?! Then when I studied the picture, I saw the sweet little angel with two ponytails kneeling in the graveyard looking at a crypt and holding 3 roses. The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon. When you fly an aircraft, keeping an eye on the horizon is extremely important. In fact, there is a gauge in the cockpit called the virtual horizon. The sun climbing up to push back the night sky said to me that this was a time for me to awaken to the life I truly want to live. Ever since I was a little girl who wore ponytails, I have wanted to fly, hence becoming a flight attendant. When I was 7, my dad could point to an aircraft and ask me if it was a C-130, an F-16 or an F-21 and I could tell him. And at about 14, I decided I wanted to skydive. I figured if I could do that, what could I possibly have to ever fear again in my life! As I looked at the card, I thought about when the King of Swords went skydiving. (Even if there were not this specific person who this card represents, i would still associate the KofSw with a pilot or anyone in aviation.)  The person who went up in that plane was NOT the same man who came back down. I mean when you watch the video, you see the total transformation in the depth of his eyes. His soul came to life. The 10 of swords is about a definitive ending. It's time for me to bury all of the fears, and there are many, that have slowly been killing my spirit for so long. If I go ahead and buy this, among other things, it will be facing the fear of not having enough money to do the things in life I need to as well as want. It will be an amazing entrance to Phase II.

2. If I don't get it- 5 of chalices- The first word that always comes to my head when I see this card is "regret". And look at this girl. Just laid out, asleep/drunk. I'm not a drinker, but I do battle depression and sleep is my go-to drug of choice. I look at the card and it's like those stars are moving past. Like the world, time,  is moving on, but the girl in her blue (aka sadness) dress is obviously not participating. The ocean is right there, tide rising. She may just drown in her sorrows and not eve be conscious of it until it's too late. No one can save her but herSelf.

3. Additional information- 2 of chalices - I usually say "Advice" for this position, but tonight I heard in my head, "additional information". This card is saying for me to do what I love, what makes my heart sing. The caduceus says to me that this will be so very healing for me.  But I am also wondering if there is some major romantic situation which will come out of this somehow. Or maybe it's just saying do what I truly love. But then I look at the last card...

4. Card at the bottom of the deck- 4 of wands- Hmmm... I really do wonder if this will somehow lead me to finding that special someone I do not yet know, but that I want to marry. Like, will I start taking flight lessons on a regular basis and meet some cat who also flies while I'm taking a little trip somewhere?? Either way, doing this will give me a lot of satisfaction and a reason to celebrate and rest easier knowing I listened to that fire in my spirit. And I a right at home in an airplane! (Lisa, I know you are cringing at the thought reading this LOL!)

I had to ask once more, so I turned to my Oracle of Shadows & Light. She gave me #11 The Dried Flower Fairy

Yes, I did purchase it lol. I have until April 18, 2012 to use it, so I will let you all know when I do. *smile*

You know my thing is to add a music video at the end of most of my posts. That is because I usually hear songs in my head when I am reading cards. I'm sure you can guess what song obviously came to mind for this reading. But when I went to look for the video, I couldn't find the original, real one done by Sugar Ray. In looking for it, I found an even better one that is just perfect for this! 

Interview with My Tarot of Vampyres

I am long overdue to interview this incredibly gorgeous deck. When I first saw it was being created a few years ago, I knew I had to have it. Of all the vampire decks out there, none of them really grabbed me like this one. So I am using the spread I first saw the lovely Lisa do on Tarotize. But I put my own little spin on it by shuffling twice. The first time I asked the deck to show me who it actually is by announcing itself with the first court card I pulled.

1. Who are you in the court? Prince of Knives- Wow. I saw this card in my head as I was  shuffling. And to be honest, I really didn't want it. And lo and behold, here it is and now it makes all the sense in the world to me.  I've read that the Knight of Swords is associated with Gemini, and I just cleansed all of my decks in the Gemini full moonlight last night, with special attention placed on this one. After making a certain post I made a few weeks ago, some nasty and out of the ordinary things occurred. It took me over a week to connect the dots, but I realized two critical things: A. I was reminded the hard way that it is imperative to create a protective circle (whatever that means for you. Ask your angles for protection, chant Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo, see yourself in a protective halo of white light, whatever. Just hold in your heart the intention of protection and cleansing) when doing readings that involve others. Especially when you know for an absolute fact that you are pulling the energy of a very angry, nasty, bitter, vengeful, pissed person. I mean come on, what the hell did I expect?? And 2. Ya gotta cleanse your decks from time to time, but most especially after a reading like that. So what does the card have to say?

I tell it like it is, no B.S. And I will speak to you with crystal clarity, as you have already noticed Krysten. You so love dichotomy and you have got it with my Gemini essence, hence the pale pink rose in one hand and the bloody dagger in the other. I cut right to the heart of the matter and sometimes that can get a bit messy. Gotta break a few eggs if you're gonna make an omelette Love. But I am also very loving and compassionate, and passionate about what I am here to do for and with you. I am one of the decks who will force you to think in ways you have not yet been challenged to do with other ones. I've already got you to take Ferol's advice and give a go at reading Rx cards. Not to worry, I will give you very clear messages that you will hear in your mind. Do not doubt when you hear them, I am telling you now that yes, it is me speaking. I want you to look up information on crows and owls. Also those night birds you have seen and heard in the wee hours. It is not a coincidence you have seen so many of them lately. My role is to help you to have the courage to look into the Shadows of Life and yourself and to help others do the same, to face the truth no matter how frightening it may appear at first. Remember, it is always darkest before the dawn. I will show you how to thrive regardless of the conditions. I will shed light for you to find your way.

...........Wow.
I mean really, what more need be said? But let's go ahead and see anyway.

2. Tell me about yourself. What is your most important characteristics?~ 8 of Skulls- I will teach you to become the phenomenal reader you already are, but close your eyes to seeing yourself as. I will work magick for you if you trust me. No killing time with me. Everything will have purpose and meaning that I tell you.

3. What are your strengths as a deck? ~ Rx 3 of Grails- I will stimulate your heart and your mind, force you out of your comfort zone and make you a much stronger reader. Like Hanibal said, "Look inside yourself Clarice" I will make you and your querents find the answers that are within you, but in nontraditional ways. Be forwarned, I will expose vulnerability. My strength is in teaching you to trust me and yourself.

4. What are your limits as a deck? ~ The Moon XVIII- I am only limited by your cutting yourself off of your intuition. I'm not a "by-the-book" kinda gal, pun intended. My limits are answers that don't reflect what your gut tells you to say. Don't try and force me to read in conventional ways. I don't and I won't, it's not who I am. I do what I feel like doing. You should too. Notice what images you are drawn to. Oh yeah, and you know it is not a coinscidence that we came togther in New Orleans, The Crescent City.

5. What are you here to teach me? ~ 10 of Knives- Uh, first, notice the woman's pendant is the Gemini glyph? Just reminding you of that Gemini full moon you cleansed me in and the first card you just pulled. I am here to teach you to stop being victim to the tragedies that have occured in your life regardless of how extreme and life-altering they were. Get busy living, or get busy dying, but do something instead of just lying about like some sort of helpless damsel in distress. I'm a Vampyre. There are reasons why you are so attracted to my kind. We don't die, we are reborn and transition into a completely new way of looking at and experiencing the world. So this birthday that is approaching that you are so overwhelmed by, use it to resurrect your life and learn to truly live the Life you truly want, that your soul is dying without. Being damned is a state of mind you can choose to no longer partake in.

....... ok. You did say you were painfully honest, but damn! Ouch!!

6. How can I best learn from you, how can we best collaborate? ~ Rx Daughter of Grails- (You are killing me with the Rx. Not that you give a damn, I know) - Don't detach from your emotions and get caught up in your head when you read with me. And be patient. Show the same compassion with yourself that you show others. Retreat from the craziness around you and spend time alone with me and so we can meditate together.


7. What is the potential outcome of our relationship? ~ The Hermit  IX Rx- We will bring to life very non-traditional readings. You know that I am not the deck for the average bear. But for those who are willing and who are ready, we will lead the way to hidden wisdom. I will bring out a very wise, old sage within you and we will show beauty to others in the most unlikely of places. That is all I can say at this time, because my dear, you have no idea the depth and magnitude of the places I will take you if you choose to follow me.

Thank you my beloved Vampyre, Prince of Knives

Umm... ok. That was real deep....

Chloe's Thank You to Sixx:A.M.

I just saw sweet little angel Chloe's thank you to Sixx:A.M. on Dj Ashba's FB page. I am so happy to have been touched by this beautiful, courageous angel. 

For Chloe It's Sixx A.M.

I have been in love with Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue for about 25+ years. But the more I learn about him, the more I love him. One of the many things that makes me hold him in such high regard is his passion for helping teenagers who are suffering,  run-aways in particular. In 2008 he founded a charity that works with Covenant House called Running Wild In the Night. They provide everything from legal services to drug treatment to transitional living services, as well as  a music program since that was his primary outlet as a troubled kid. Having been a run-away himself he is all about being an advocate for any child who is in trouble or suffering.

So when I was puttzing around on FB today I saw a post he made of a video a very special young lady made on YouTube for the song that his side project Sixx A.M. wrote titled " Skin". She touched his heart and many others in a very deep place. I could go on for days about the songs that Sixx A.M. creates and how deep and meaningful the lyrics are, (I may have to do anther post in him/them...) and this song is definitely no exception. I am still, (yes even after all of the media attention) completely shocked with this whole bulling situation in our society. Have there always been bullies, of course. But what is happening today is just beyond anything I can ever remember seeing.

For years he was the quintessential Knight of Wands; hot, sexy, wild ,crazy, animated, the life of the party and totally fearless dare-devil. Also for his amazing business skills. .But Nikki has well and truly grown into the title of King of Wands For one, he is a Sagittarius. (what is it about Sag men that drives me wild!? Oh yeah... Everything! lol). He still lives his life with such a lust for it.  He is very charming, and on Dec 11 he will turn 55 and his ass is just as sexxxy as it was in 1987! He is passionate about everything he does, but like every Sag I have every known, he is passionate beyond words about protecting kids and making sure they feel loved. I swear the more I know about him the more I love him. 

So I am posting two videos for the same song. I want to share with you this video that this precious little girl named Chloe made and sent to him as well as a video that someone else created to speak out against children being harassed and bullied. I will warn you, both are absolute tear jerkers, so you may want to know that before you watch them. But I am creating this post because this has got to stop. Awareness is the first step. And I want to make sure that children who are victims, especially little Chloe who was so raw and honest and courageous in making this video, get heard. She is truly an inspiring little girl. I see her as the Page of Wands, a fearless little leader who is full of potential and has a mischievous spark in her bright eyes and and the power to create much needed change. My heart is sending you so much love and healing sweetheart.

 *Yes, it is the same song. I am intentionally posting two videos of the same song because each one is so powerful and special, as are the lyrics*

The Janet Boyer Situation

Ok, so if you are in any way involved in the tarot community, then surely you are no stranger to the very public situation with regard to Janet Boyer and the extremely disturbing material she has written and  published. I had no idea that she had ever written or said anything ugly about anyone until last week. Now have I known of her for many years and assumed she was a very well respected name in tarot who has written a number of books. I guess she does a lot of reviews and prides herself on being known as a very tough reviewer. But I had never heard anything negative about her. Actually, I'd never really heard anyones opinion one way or the other about the woman until about a week and a half ago. I was on one of my favorite FB pages (I honestly don't remmeber which one right now) and a lady I'd never heard of named Abella asked a question with regard to getting people to either visit your blog or to make comments on it, or something like that. (As you can tell there is a bit of paraphrasing going on, but I will make it obvious if I am directly quoting anyone) The next thing I know Janet Boyer made some really fucked up comment to the effect of Abella being stupid and therefore no one would be interested in anything she had to say. My mouth fell open, and I thought to myself what a harsh way of joking she had. Surely she was not serious...? Long story short, it became quite clear that no, she was not joking and several people came to Abella's  defense, one of whom I'd love to meet one day. I think his name is Jordan. Mannn, he lit into her ass like a firecracker on the 4th of July!!! And he was very smart about it by putting out there certain facts that Janet Boyer could have used against him. (Smart cookie Jordan! Disarm the bully and they don't have any ammunition. I know I'd never want to get cussed out by you lol!) I responded how surprised I was that anyone would make such a hurtful and uncalled for comment, then just sat there with my mouth still hanging open catching flies. The shit was going down in that thread of comments!

Ok long story short, I then was made aware that as bad as this was, it was nothing in comparrison to other things she has said about various members of the tarot community, in particular Donnaleigh de LaRose of Divine Whispers and the Blogtalk radio show Beyond Worlds . Things that are ridiculous, insane, dare I say, evil and most probably illegal. And she made said these things public knowledge in a book she wrote!
Look, we all have had people we didn't like. Hell, maybe even hated.  But putting pen to paper to graphically express your visions of murdering someone, at a damn tarot convention (?!!), who is a real person and not a fictional character (maybe if she ahdn't used a variation of her victim's real name she could have possibly argued it was a work of fiction and not personal desires journaled and published)  and then going on to describe defecating on the body of said murdered individual while hanging her ass over the lady's grave is some not only fucked up, it is homicidal and I'd venture to say illegal.
I've done about 3 readings on this. I wanted to make sure that the Tarot was talking, not me projecting my own opinions, which I admit, are pretty strong. I intentionally used two different decks that are both considered "dark" so as to not show any bias. I even did each row based on alphatetical order of their names. Hell, I even used reversals (Rx) which I almost never do!
I used Ferol Humphrey's 5 Card Commentary spread.

Row A = Donnaleigh
1.  Short answer: Ace of Pentacles~  Well Donnaleigh, I'd have to say that my suspicions about the legality of this issue are correct and you will be having some financial compensation headed your way, not that any amount of money is worth all of this hell. It also shows how scary and huge of a beast this all is for you to have to slay.

2,3, and 4. Long answer: Queen of Wands Rx, The Tower XVI, The Magician I, 7 of swords Rx: Please don't let this turn your creative process upside down or drain you of your vibrant energy that is so bright and the reason so many people are so drawn to you. Hold on to what is sacred to you and know that you are leading the way for others in this situation. I do wonder with that Tower if there are more unpleasant surprises headed your way unfortunately. I suppose a nasty court case would explain that. And you clearly have been under fire by some very nasty blows. But you are an extremely intelligent woman who has everything you need to fight back, cut through all this shit and get your life back. And again I see money. And a lot of people as you know have rallied around you in support.

5. Advice: 7 of swords Rx~ My advice though is to please be cautious, which I think you know. The 7of Sw is often called the "sneaky bastard" card. There is something or someone I think who is not trustworthy or feeding Janet information.

Row B= Janet Boyer
1. Short answer: 10 of Scepters Rx

2,3, and 4 Long answer: Judgement XX, 3 of Grails, Ace of Grails Rx~ Janet I'd have to say that it is about to be judgement day for you lady and it looks like a fiery pit awaits. You dug your own grave. This card for me also means re-thinking ones career or a second chance at a career you always wanted. I'd say a new line of work may be the way to go since you have burned most of your tarot bridges. The 3ofC says to me tht jealousy and wanting to be the center of attention got you into a lot of this trouble, Being next to the Rx AofC I wonder if she have a drinking problem. At the very least it shows she does not know how to play nice with others.
5. Advice: 10 of Knives Rx~ Damn lady. Another 10 that is Rx. With swords being about communication and also conflict, this again shows me the death of your writing career. I also feel like she is going to play the innocent victim. And the Gemini glyph of the woman's necklace makes me think of severe bi-polar issues.

Though I am just making this post, I decided early on to take a stand and did so in several FB posts. And I am proud to say many others whom I like and respect did so as well, in particular Lisa of Tarotize and Hannah of Tarotmantica, and the lady who writes the really cool 78 Notes to name a few. As a Capricorn, bullying, injustice and cruelty are things I have always spoke out against. Even as a kid in grade school when other kids where picked on. I even went toe-to-toe with my Adv Foreign Policy teacher in high school for picking on another student. I can't stand a mean asshole. But you ain't seen a meany until you have encountered an unstable,  pissed off, vengeful, mean Scorpio who talks openly about killing somebody! (And I am actually speaking from personal experience with one of them. Dear Jesus you have no idea the level of crazy those people can reach) Oh hell no! So for these reasons, I am choosing to boycott Janet Boyer. I personally feel this bitch is crazy as a shit-house rat and want no parts of her.

But the good that I can say that has come out of this madness is getting to meet and know so very nice people. Unfortunately it happened because of all this.


*if you are not comfortable with harsh language, you may not want to watch Eminem's video that follows. But I think the lyrics couldn't be more perfect.*

Can't Wait to Get My Hands On This!~ New deck from Tarot Dame!

I'd like to make you guys aware of a new self-published oracle deck that will be available to us soon and I can not WAIT to get my hot little hands on it! I'm sure all of you are familiar with the Tarot Dame. She is a wonderful reader who has an amazing blog where she does daily draws and cameos a new deck each week. I have learned a lot from reading her blog and am happy that I can now say I think of her as more than just a fellow reader but as a friend I just haven't met face-to-face yet lol. Well wasn't I shocked when I saw her post the other day that she has been working on this gorgeous new creation. The images are already speaking to me loud and clear and I am so excited to know when the deck will be available!

It makes me think of The Magician I. This card is all about a golden opportunity that has come your way and you have to jump on it. I have chosen the Magician from the Dark Angels Tarot. I love how even though he has all of the tools at his disposal that he needed to manifest a specific desired result, even he is in awe as he watches it unfold. I'm sure this whole process has been a magickal progression for her as she brought her vision to light and it is now a reality.

Please head over to her blog and you can see several of the cards and you will see a link to email her so she can get a good idea of how much interest there is in it as she is doing a limited amount.

Congratulations Kiki!!!