I just bought myself a birthday present for mySelf. On Christmas Day I will turn 40. I'm having very mixed feelings about that. I am not where I had hoped I'd be in life by the time I hit 40. Not by a long shot. I made the determination a few weeks ago that I would not go into the second half of my life with the same crap that has held me back in the first half. So I get this notification from Groupon for an amazing offer. (Groupon is a deal-of -the-day company with offers specific to a particular local area. Anything from manicures to getting your house painted to local attractions and they are most often really great sales). Well I see a deal a few days ago for something I have always wanted to do for as long as I can remember, but never really thought I'd get to do. A total Bucket List kind of thing. Flight lessons! A 3 hour orientation and lesson for only $120! Now I know damn well I can't afford this. So for the past week I have gone back and forth on whether or not to do it. With 40 min left to take the deal or not, I whipped out my Tarot of the Sweet Twilight and asked for her advice.
*(Uh.. as I am now proof reading this, I just noticed it was 40 min left to decide on my 40th b/day present!)*
1. If I do get it- 10 of swords- At first I was like WTH?! Then when I studied the picture, I saw the sweet little angel with two ponytails kneeling in the graveyard looking at a crypt and holding 3 roses. The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon. When you fly an aircraft, keeping an eye on the horizon is extremely important. In fact, there is a gauge in the cockpit called the virtual horizon. The sun climbing up to push back the night sky said to me that this was a time for me to awaken to the life I truly want to live. Ever since I was a little girl who wore ponytails, I have wanted to fly, hence becoming a flight attendant. When I was 7, my dad could point to an aircraft and ask me if it was a C-130, an F-16 or an F-21 and I could tell him. And at about 14, I decided I wanted to skydive. I figured if I could do that, what could I possibly have to ever fear again in my life! As I looked at the card, I thought about when the King of Swords went skydiving. (Even if there were not this specific person who this card represents, i would still associate the KofSw with a pilot or anyone in aviation.) The person who went up in that plane was NOT the same man who came back down. I mean when you watch the video, you see the total transformation in the depth of his eyes. His soul came to life. The 10 of swords is about a definitive ending. It's time for me to bury all of the fears, and there are many, that have slowly been killing my spirit for so long. If I go ahead and buy this, among other things, it will be facing the fear of not having enough money to do the things in life I need to as well as want. It will be an amazing entrance to Phase II.
2. If I don't get it- 5 of chalices- The first word that always comes to my head when I see this card is "regret". And look at this girl. Just laid out, asleep/drunk. I'm not a drinker, but I do battle depression and sleep is my go-to drug of choice. I look at the card and it's like those stars are moving past. Like the world, time, is moving on, but the girl in her blue (aka sadness) dress is obviously not participating. The ocean is right there, tide rising. She may just drown in her sorrows and not eve be conscious of it until it's too late. No one can save her but herSelf.
3. Additional information- 2 of chalices - I usually say "Advice" for this position, but tonight I heard in my head, "additional information". This card is saying for me to do what I love, what makes my heart sing. The caduceus says to me that this will be so very healing for me. But I am also wondering if there is some major romantic situation which will come out of this somehow. Or maybe it's just saying do what I truly love. But then I look at the last card...
4. Card at the bottom of the deck- 4 of wands- Hmmm... I really do wonder if this will somehow lead me to finding that special someone I do not yet know, but that I want to marry. Like, will I start taking flight lessons on a regular basis and meet some cat who also flies while I'm taking a little trip somewhere?? Either way, doing this will give me a lot of satisfaction and a reason to celebrate and rest easier knowing I listened to that fire in my spirit. And I a right at home in an airplane! (Lisa, I know you are cringing at the thought reading this LOL!)
I had to ask once more, so I turned to my Oracle of Shadows & Light. She gave me #11 The Dried Flower Fairy
Yes, I did purchase it lol. I have until April 18, 2012 to use it, so I will let you all know when I do. *smile*
You know my thing is to add a music video at the end of most of my posts. That is because I usually hear songs in my head when I am reading cards. I'm sure you can guess what song obviously came to mind for this reading. But when I went to look for the video, I couldn't find the original, real one done by Sugar Ray. In looking for it, I found an even better one that is just perfect for this!
