3 Cards, All 3 Are 10's

I'm so tired, but I had to ask the cards about a situation. I wrote an email today and the very very short version of the story is that I  told certain someone today that I needed to distance myself from him because I feel more for him that he feels for me or is capable of showing. I was a big girl and made sure that I was very honest but not all "girl' and melodramatic and doing the emotional blackmail crap. So I asked the cards just now what is going on with him in light of that. I tried a little trick Rhiannon taught me where as to imagine a huge sailors rope coming from around me and crossing in a figure 8 and looping around him to feel his energy. (If you try this always be sure that at the end of the reading you are doing, imagine a huge pair of scissors cutting the rope and free the connection. You do not want to remain pulling and carrying around another's emotions like that! It's not healthy for either party.) Since there is such a strong bond between us, this was not at all hard to do with him. I instantly felt sick to my stomach and very heavy and confused. I used my Universal Goddess deck which is one of my very favorite decks and became the one I used for readings about him or us. Here are the cards:
 10 of Swords, 10 of Pentacles, and The Wheel of Fortune X

3 cards, all 10's. WTF.

An ending, a new beginning, and a cycle that continues. The 10 of Pentacles shows what I want. I'm 39, no kids and never been married. He's 37,  has 3 kids and is an amazing single dad. I want to get married. To him?? Not sure, but I at least want a serious, committed relationship with him to find that out. I love how warm and inviting the Japanese goddess Ben Satien is and that's what I want. A warm home filled with love and family and friends. We both love to have people over and eat and hang out. And this card is about family and legacy. I told him today that "I am not happy with how my life is going and that at 39 I need to get my head out of my ass and get my shit together". 10 of Swords shows how we both feel in a lot of ways. I'm not at all a victim in this, but I am sad because I don't want it to be this way. Take note of the gold ring in the water. He's sad because to quote the LWB "I am the innocent victim of a cruel curse. I am alone, afraid and desperate in this gloomy forest." Now though he would never in a million years say this, it describes a lot of what he feels. In addition to other personal issues, he is an Iraq War Veteran. That kinda says it all. And then there is The Wheel X. The those white flowers Arianrhod has floating about makes me think of how I threw caution to the wind by being extremely upfront in telling him what I did without any expectation. Hope? Yes, but no expectations. I live as the complete east coast and he one the complete west. If I were still a flight attendant, this would be totally workable. But as of the foreseeable future, I'm not one. She looks so free, and there is a certain freedom from taking the weight off of myself by being so upfront. The Wheel of Fortune is about karma and fate and the ups and downs of life. We have had many many ups and downs and there is an extremely strong karmic connection between us. One way is the fact that his mother who is on the other side talks to me so often. But I had to say what I did today. And I feel like those flowers are saying "let the chips fall where they may". The blue of her dress says be at peace with whatever happens.

I wonder what getting three 10's means!? I know 10's are all about starting over, re-generation. For me they are also about a transition. I see 9's as an ending, and 1's as a new beginning, but 10's as that in between phase of regrouping and transition from one phase to the next. Kinda like Purgatory for Catholics. And I am tired of feeling like I'm in limbo with this cat.

The bottom card is one that I so very often get with him, the 9 of Wands. (So we have three 10's and one 9......) I absolutely love this interpretation of this card! It is by far my favorite 9ofW in any deck. It is the goddess of the winter solstice, Angerona. The LWB says it so beautifully, " Silence is the mother that never asks questions but welcomes you silently between her benevolent arms when you are tired and uncertain." How beautiful is that. And since he lives in Portland, those evergreens covered in snow are so fitting. The snow on the wooden fence post to symbolize the rods is like telling him it's ok to stop fighting, lay down your arms, the war is over my baby. I see myself posed as Angerona is, welcoming him home, not asking pointed questions or forcing him to discuss anything, though I know he needs to free himself of the pain in his soul. And most of all, not judging, just greeting him with acceptance and love.

As far as E.D. , there is one


For shits and giggles, I decided to turn over another card. Don't you know it was the King of Wands. He's a Sag.

Celtic Cross Reading for Penelope Garcia

Synchronicity never ceases character to blow my mind lol.

So ya know I love myself some Criminal Minds (just about as much as Dexter I may have to say, and believe you me that is saying a hell of a lot!!) And  ya know how a freakin' adore the character Garcia. (I recently did a post on her and another character Morgan to interpret The Lovers VI card). The show is about FBI agents who do criminal profiling. So I was thinking that I should profile the characters I love so much since I want to make a list of them from various books, tv shows, and movies to apply to all 78 cards. Then today I found this fantastic teaching tool from Tarot Eon that blew me away! (link will be below) It sounds like it is gonna help me take my tarot skills to a whole 'nother level. And I'll be dog-gone if he doesn't use the word "profile". He basically says to create profiles on imaginary clients. You can also use people from the media, but Doug says that kinda goes against the whole point, which is to use your imagination. But I'm gonna go ahead and do it this way first as he advises you take a lot of time to create each profile and I just wanna get started. I am one be all fired up about something and then just flake out on it. But you want to act like it is a real live client who you are reading for.

Penelope Garcia
Very highly skilled computer expert. So good she hacked into the federal governments computers. So they took advantage of her skills in stead of imprison her and she works with a team of FBI criminal profilers called the BAU-Behavior Analysis Unit. Mid 30's and lives in a 2 b/r apartment in N.E. DC. She often shops in DuPont Circle and Commander Salamander and can be found at Eastern Market scoping out the most awesome vintage stuff on any Saturday she can possibly have time off to get there.

Though she is a total tech geek, she does believe in readers and astrology.

She's married to her work like all of her co-workers and they are her family, but she would love to be married and have a family to come home to. She needs as much normalcy as she can get.

She has a very deep emotional and romantic connection to her co-worker Derek Morgan, but they both choose to not act on it. Partially because of the conflict of interest at work where they are part of a team who saves many lives and can not be compromised, partially from their own fear of each other. From the outside, they are total opposites in every single way. Inside, they are as much alike as any two people can possibly be. They are two sides of the exact same coin and couldn't possibly be better matched. She

She needs to have as much around her that helps her escape from the horrifying realities she faces at work, so she dresses in an over-the-top whimsical fashion that is a cross between goth, vintage and her own very bright and fun style.

She's an extremist at everything. At being fun, outgoing, charming, witty, intelligent, compassionate, loving, loyal, and nurturing.

She easily connects with others and makes them feel safe with her warm and inviting, comical demeanor, yet feels safest from behind a computer screen. Her childhood was a rough one bouncing from one foster home to the next. She shields herself emotionally with her intellect and very sharp wit.

She is the best at her job and she knows it. She's absolutely beautiful yet has no idea of it. She is like a ball of sunshine with moon beams shooting out and a circle of stars sparkling in orbit.

So let's just say I gave her a general reading. I'll do the Celtic Cross spread, but the way my first actual teacher Glenda does it. Sorry that I will have to show the cards out of positional order. Lord and Lady I can not wait to have a scanner. So here's me, as Garcia's trusted reader that she sees a few times a year.

I chose the Gill Tarot because of it's bright fun colors and of the decks I have with me, this one seems like one she'd choose. If I had Tarot of the Sweet Twilight  I'd have chosen it. The majority of cards are either fire or water. A lot of passionate emotion, and thus at odds with herself on a lot of things. This shows how strong your are to not give in to impulses, but is it at the expense of your happiness? I do see all four elements are present so I think you are doing a decent job of balancing all of this. Three Majors are present, so we need to look at the karmic patterns that keep replaying in your life.

1. Where the cards want to start talking: 10 of pentacles-  It seems you've been thinking a lot about your future and wanting to something of value to leave behind. I'm looking at that QofC and the 3 of cups plus the AofW.... Girly I gotta ask if your pregnant??! No you say? Are you SURE!? Cause if you're not, you may want to use some serious birth control. In fact if I were you, I'd use two or three forms from the looks of these cards LOL! But anyway, Did you get a pay raise? Cause I see that as a possibility. That 10ofP says to me how happy you are at your job, and what a ray of sunshine you are around there in spite of all the darkness you guys are submerged in. You give so much of yourself and bring a lot of healing to everyone around you. 


2. What's is either helping or hindering the issue in question one: Queen of Swords- Even though you are not this particular Queen, she is such a strong part of you of you since you have Gemini rising. *I'm making that up* She is who you are at work, all tech and super-duper brainiac. This is you sitting at your desk and that mouse pad and keyboard is your weapon of choice. The pen is mightier than the sword lol. Again that bright yellow background showing the bright light you are that. Your presence is so powerful to make everyone around you better at their job because you take away the doom and gloom. Your contagious joy is like the voice of reason when you all are constantly analyzing situations that are so dark and seem to make no sense whatsoever. And this makes the people who sign your paycheck inclined to make sure you are well compensated because they know how much you deserve it and how much they need you. 


3. What is root of the issue: Queen of Cups- I gotta come back to this baby issue. I think you are missing JJ a whole lot since she left the team. I think you are also thinking about when she had the baby. That 6ofP keeps calling me back to it. It's like you are the unconditional love that is a constant give and take that she and her son share. Both of you are such mammas at heart who nurture everyone on the team. You are a woman who's life is so based on logic and tangible results, yet in this card your emotional side seems to being looking into that cup and feeling empty, yet she is surrounded by so much water. 


4. Recent past: Ace of Wands-  In the resent past you had some bright ideas in how to spend your birthday a few months ago. Oh you took that knitting class you wanted, how cool! I think you've also been thinking about some other bright ideas I'll touch on in a min LOL!


5. What's on your mind": 6 of pentacles- This card is about give and take, exchange of money. Oh you went to one of those clothing swap things, how was it?? I hear they are so cool! You say you got lots of great stuff huh, more of your rainbow colors you love to wear. I know you can't wait for the warm weather so you can go down to Eastern Market.  You should give Suzette a call and meet up with her there. Maybe you guys can go for lunch and swap stuff because you know she has some awesome really fun pieces of costume jewelry. I think that raise will come in the next 6 weeks.

6. What's possible in the near future: 4 of wands- Now... on to those other bright ideas I mentioned LMAO. Ok Chippy. In one reading you got the AofW, 4ofW, 3ofC, and The Hierophant!??!! I mean can we say "Married With Children"?!! Now let's stop faking moves, because it's just you and me here. I know how you feel about him and how he feels about you. You know the cards show what is most likely to happen based on what is going on in your life  at this time and if you continue to do things the same way. Well I say keep on keepin' on because I see that 10ofP as what you will have to leave the children you and Derek will have LOL!! There looks like there will be a whole lot to celebrate! 


7. What you don't want: 7 of wands- I see this card as what you don't want because doing "the right thing" sux. It's like that hooded cloak is how you have to cloak your feelings for Derek and vice-versa.


8. What's in your environment: King of Swords-  I think this is both a person and a situation. How is Hotch doing? I know he puts on a good front because he is the team's leader, but he is still hurting so much from his wife's murder. I also see that this means your pay raise will also mean they are expecting more from you, as if that were possible! Oh yeah, that's right. You did start working with the other team on Suspect Behavior huh.

9. What you do want: Hierophant V-  Again, since The Hierophant is the pope, and I see the AofW and the 4ofW so screaming marriage. And stop denying it woman, I'm your damn tarot reader LOL! And don't think that the icing on the cake of that King of Cups went unnoticed LMAO. But this card is also about your highest guide speaking to you and telling you to get real with yourself. As many shades of grey as there are in life, some things are black and white. Hang on a sec. Let me check something I saw online earlier.....Aha! This lady has such a great site!! She is awesome here's what she has to say about that staff that he is carrying:  'Nuff said Penelope! LMAO

"Alchemy is rife with Tarot symbols including the staff which represents polarity sulfur (male) and quicksilver (female) in alchemical iconograpy. This symbol also infers the union of of opposites woth the goal harmonization and  transformation."

*this was a direct quote from an amazing reader who's site I will put a link for called Tarot Teachings*

10. Outcome if things stay as they currently are: (this is done as a story line with 3 additional cards) - King of Cups, Temperance XIV, 3 of cups, The Moon XVIII- So we top it all off with that Scorpio man's card at the end. Like the king is pictured here on King of Cups, Derek tries so hard to be so controlled and even,  but that man is all raw emotion. And those fish just show me how his subconscious mind constantly goes back and forth with how he feels. And next to it we have Temperance XIV. It shows that patience you both exhibit given the situation. It also shows me that you are his angel that  gives him hope in the middle of a constant shit-storm. Didn't you tell me that after that  incident where he drove that ambulance with the bomb to save everyone and it was you on the phone who gave him the route to get to a safe space for when it went off, he said,  "Woman, you are my God-given solace"? And there you are,his angel under that rainbow. And this card also represents inter-racial couples ya know. HelloOOo! The 3ofC shows the the joy that is possible when you two get together, drinking champagne at your wedding. And that baby! Now The Moon XVIII  at the end shows me that you two will get together, but still keep it under wraps for as long as you can. But the emotional pull between you two is to strong to be denied or hidden for long. And that if you two let this slip through your fingers you will have the deepest of regrets.

This was so much fun to do! The Tarot Eon's blog has taught so much about letting go of my issues of "am I gonna do it right?" and the "rules" you are "supposed to" follow. I have got to remember that tarot is all about using our imagination to tap into the subconscious mind. The only rule is to not get caught up in rules. The only "wrong"way to read cards is read from a place of doubt and insecurity.