"Holding on to anger is like holding on to a hot coal with the intension of throwing at another"
~Nichiren Diashonin
I have heard the call of the Goddess so strongly since I got back to New Orleans. I have been practicing Nichiren Buddhism for the past 2 years. I am so happy that I did. But She has called me back and it is a feeling down deep in my soul.
My 40th birthday is right around the corner. I have been dreading it because I feel SO unaccomplished in my life. Nothing is as I'd have hoped at 39. But I finally have turned the corner on my feelings about that. Like my grandfather used to say, "If you don't like getting old, try the alternative" My friend Willow suggested I do a banishing spell so I have a clean slate to do a spell on the new moon to bring the things into my life that I want. So I have done a very simple but powerful spell. I haven't been a practicing witch in several years so I no long have alter supplies. Plus where I am it is very difficult to do spell work. Here are the items I used:
writing paper
1 silver candle
olive oil
sea salt
lemon zest
1/2 & 1/2
a white paper plate
purple ink pen
tarot cards- the High Priestess II, 9 of pentacles, Empress III. Ace of Wands, Ace of Pentacles, 6 of swords, and The Hierophant V
I sat down and I wrote a letter of forgiveness to everyone I harbor any resentment or anger toward. It was actually not as hard as I expected it would be. (I guess once a week for 4 years with a shrink actually does pay off. Humph.) But I just let it rip, anyone or thing that I still had beef with. The Scorpio ex b/f, the airline I used to worked for, my parents, previous roomates. (And if you've read any of my posts from Feb-June, then you know that bullshit was real hard to do!) Even the individual who date raped me when I was 19 and took my virginity. I didn't even realize that was still an issue at this point in my life. Not a big one, but there is still some anger and hatred no doubt. But 20 years is a really long time to be pissed off no matter how good of a reason. It was a bit of a challenge to not be judegmental and to also assume responsibility for my part in things when needed, yet not blame myself for things that were not my fault or beyond my control. And that brings me to the most important person I had to forgive- ME! All 5 of them crazy chix in my dome! I have to banish the self-doubt, anger and negative feelings about myself, my life. It's like... it's like being an emotional hoarder. Let that shit fucking go man! Free your mind, your ass'll follow! I'm sick and tired of being prisoner to Fear and Doubt. They got ta go!
You will notice the big shiny reflection of the counter top. Normally that would drive me crazy and get cropped, but when I was taking the pix it looked just like the full moon shining down. So I kept it.
So I wrote my letters/notes. Then I selected the cards that coincide with my intention and with the energy of a Taurus full moon.
The HP II because I want to stop doubting my self and my intuition. I have more than enough life experiences at this point that I damn sure can start to have complete trust in myself! And how gorgeous is she in this deck, plus the full moon on it.
9ofP beacuse I want to be an indpendant, self-sufficient woman who has a wonder home and is secure and comfortable within her own skin. Plus this card represents the 9 disks in my back that bothered me for so long. And we all know how much I love black cats and Catwoman. This is my all time favorite 9ofP!
The Empress because she is associated with Taurus, but more so because I have never had kids because if fear and doubt. Fear of loosing my independance and personal freedom and fear of finances, another Taurus issue. Also because I recently found out that at 38 I started menopause. Are you fucking kidding me... But my gut tells me don't believe it as far as fertility. If I choose that I really want one, I will have one. I've decided I do since I have been around a baby everyday for 2 months. But that'll be in another post.
AofW- again the mom issues and creating the life I want in general and having it filled with passion and energy. And the fertility aspect. This may just be the most gorgeous AofW I have ever seen!
AofP- Taurus and money security issues. I want to remove my negative and false ideas about money and prosperty in general.
The Hierophant V Rx- Ruled by Taurus and all about following what God/Goddess direct you to do. Also about not being a slave to what society says is "right". I felt this version really captured that.
6ofSw Rx- I've made posts about how this version looks like the guy in the front is Fear and the one in back is Doubt and they are keeping this powerful creature enslaved. I want to move on to a better life and freedom from negativity. I don't ususally use Rx cards but for this spell I did on these last two because these are things I want to banish. I just took the picture right-side-up so we can see what the cards look like.
I have my silver candle burning right now as I type this out. That way I am further infusing it with my intent, which is what magick is all about. If you want to know more about casting spells, check out Rowan Pendragon's site. She is amazing and a wealth of knowledge.
*this was actually done on 11/11/11 though it is being posted a day later
I have been listening to Florence + The Machine while I have been sitting here. I love their music so much. Rabbit Heart I think is perfect for this! Because I will no longer be a rabbit-hearted girl! (Lyrics below the video.)
FLORENCE + THE MACHINE LYRICS
"Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)"
The looking glass, so shiny and new
How quickly the glamour fades
I start spinning, slipping out of time
Was that the wrong pill to take? (Raise it up)
You made a deal, and now it seems you have to offer up
But will it ever be enough? (Raise it up, raise it up)
It's not enough (Raise it up, raise it up)
Here I am, a rabbit hearted girl
Frozen in the headlights
It seems I've made the final sacrifice
We raise it up, this offering
We raise it up
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
I look around, but I can't find you (raise it up)
If only I could see your face (raise it up)
Instead of rushing towards the skyline (raise it up)
I wish that I could just be brave
I must become a lion hearted girl
Ready for a fight
Before I make the final sacrifice
We raise it up, this offering
We raise it up
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
Raise it up, raise it up
Raise it up, raise it up
And in the spring I shed my skin
And it blows away with the changing wind
The waters turn from blue to red
As towards the sky I offer it
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
This is a gift
~Nichiren Diashonin
I have heard the call of the Goddess so strongly since I got back to New Orleans. I have been practicing Nichiren Buddhism for the past 2 years. I am so happy that I did. But She has called me back and it is a feeling down deep in my soul.
My 40th birthday is right around the corner. I have been dreading it because I feel SO unaccomplished in my life. Nothing is as I'd have hoped at 39. But I finally have turned the corner on my feelings about that. Like my grandfather used to say, "If you don't like getting old, try the alternative" My friend Willow suggested I do a banishing spell so I have a clean slate to do a spell on the new moon to bring the things into my life that I want. So I have done a very simple but powerful spell. I haven't been a practicing witch in several years so I no long have alter supplies. Plus where I am it is very difficult to do spell work. Here are the items I used:
writing paper
1 silver candle
olive oil
sea salt
lemon zest
1/2 & 1/2
a white paper plate
purple ink pen
tarot cards- the High Priestess II, 9 of pentacles, Empress III. Ace of Wands, Ace of Pentacles, 6 of swords, and The Hierophant V
I sat down and I wrote a letter of forgiveness to everyone I harbor any resentment or anger toward. It was actually not as hard as I expected it would be. (I guess once a week for 4 years with a shrink actually does pay off. Humph.) But I just let it rip, anyone or thing that I still had beef with. The Scorpio ex b/f, the airline I used to worked for, my parents, previous roomates. (And if you've read any of my posts from Feb-June, then you know that bullshit was real hard to do!) Even the individual who date raped me when I was 19 and took my virginity. I didn't even realize that was still an issue at this point in my life. Not a big one, but there is still some anger and hatred no doubt. But 20 years is a really long time to be pissed off no matter how good of a reason. It was a bit of a challenge to not be judegmental and to also assume responsibility for my part in things when needed, yet not blame myself for things that were not my fault or beyond my control. And that brings me to the most important person I had to forgive- ME! All 5 of them crazy chix in my dome! I have to banish the self-doubt, anger and negative feelings about myself, my life. It's like... it's like being an emotional hoarder. Let that shit fucking go man! Free your mind, your ass'll follow! I'm sick and tired of being prisoner to Fear and Doubt. They got ta go!
You will notice the big shiny reflection of the counter top. Normally that would drive me crazy and get cropped, but when I was taking the pix it looked just like the full moon shining down. So I kept it.
So I wrote my letters/notes. Then I selected the cards that coincide with my intention and with the energy of a Taurus full moon.
The HP II because I want to stop doubting my self and my intuition. I have more than enough life experiences at this point that I damn sure can start to have complete trust in myself! And how gorgeous is she in this deck, plus the full moon on it.
9ofP beacuse I want to be an indpendant, self-sufficient woman who has a wonder home and is secure and comfortable within her own skin. Plus this card represents the 9 disks in my back that bothered me for so long. And we all know how much I love black cats and Catwoman. This is my all time favorite 9ofP!
The Empress because she is associated with Taurus, but more so because I have never had kids because if fear and doubt. Fear of loosing my independance and personal freedom and fear of finances, another Taurus issue. Also because I recently found out that at 38 I started menopause. Are you fucking kidding me... But my gut tells me don't believe it as far as fertility. If I choose that I really want one, I will have one. I've decided I do since I have been around a baby everyday for 2 months. But that'll be in another post.
AofW- again the mom issues and creating the life I want in general and having it filled with passion and energy. And the fertility aspect. This may just be the most gorgeous AofW I have ever seen!
AofP- Taurus and money security issues. I want to remove my negative and false ideas about money and prosperty in general.
The Hierophant V Rx- Ruled by Taurus and all about following what God/Goddess direct you to do. Also about not being a slave to what society says is "right". I felt this version really captured that.
6ofSw Rx- I've made posts about how this version looks like the guy in the front is Fear and the one in back is Doubt and they are keeping this powerful creature enslaved. I want to move on to a better life and freedom from negativity. I don't ususally use Rx cards but for this spell I did on these last two because these are things I want to banish. I just took the picture right-side-up so we can see what the cards look like.
I have my silver candle burning right now as I type this out. That way I am further infusing it with my intent, which is what magick is all about. If you want to know more about casting spells, check out Rowan Pendragon's site. She is amazing and a wealth of knowledge.
I have been listening to Florence + The Machine while I have been sitting here. I love their music so much. Rabbit Heart I think is perfect for this! Because I will no longer be a rabbit-hearted girl! (Lyrics below the video.)
FLORENCE + THE MACHINE LYRICS
"Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)"
The looking glass, so shiny and new
How quickly the glamour fades
I start spinning, slipping out of time
Was that the wrong pill to take? (Raise it up)
You made a deal, and now it seems you have to offer up
But will it ever be enough? (Raise it up, raise it up)
It's not enough (Raise it up, raise it up)
Here I am, a rabbit hearted girl
Frozen in the headlights
It seems I've made the final sacrifice
We raise it up, this offering
We raise it up
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
I look around, but I can't find you (raise it up)
If only I could see your face (raise it up)
Instead of rushing towards the skyline (raise it up)
I wish that I could just be brave
I must become a lion hearted girl
Ready for a fight
Before I make the final sacrifice
We raise it up, this offering
We raise it up
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
Raise it up, raise it up
Raise it up, raise it up
And in the spring I shed my skin
And it blows away with the changing wind
The waters turn from blue to red
As towards the sky I offer it
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
This is a gift
