Reading For a Client: To Trust or Not To Trust?

A client wanted to know if she should or should not trust a certain person  she knows. I used the Faulkner Tarot because it is black and white photography and my client is a very give-it-to-me-straight kinda girl. And boy did it! There isn't even a question about the answer to this!

1-3. If you do trust said person, what will be the result? 8 of swords, Queen of Wands, The Tower XVI- Dammnnn Gina! (a quote from the show Martin lmao) I mean dang. The short answer; aww HELL NO!!! But let's break this down as to why.

1. 8 of Swords- This is a sneaky, sneaky person who likes to play the victim card. I feel like if you trust her you will be giving her power or authority over you and she will use this against you and somehow make it look like you are to blame. Or if she gets caught playing her deceit, she will say that she had no choice *doe-eyed look* That she couldn't make everyone happy and she is so sorry but she was only doing what she had to. The situation was out of her hands. But that is a load of crap! This 8ofSw is saying to me that need to be very cautious who you say what to about this person or situation. She or someone else eavesdrops or reads emails or listens in on conversations when no one is aware. If you trust her, you are leaving the door wide open for her to hit you with some kind of surprise attack, and judging from the rest of the cards in this set, it will really bite you in the ass! But we'll get to that in a minute.

2. Queen of Wands- I keep feeling like this is a work situation, office politics crap. The person in question is a climber. You know, one of those who would say they would hand in your report to the boss since they are going into her office *smile like Brie from Desperate Housewives*. And on the way there, replace your quotes or spread sheet with the wrong info. Or they would answer your phone and "be sure that you get the message asap!" *Brie smile* and transpose the numbers or just never even write them down. Then go and handle the situation herself. You look like an ass, she looks like a rock star. Why? Because she A. took care of the situation and made sure the customer was happy (so the boss thinks she is so pro-active and efficient, a problem solver) and B. she just went ahead and took care of that for you since she knew you were just swamped! (aka you are an incompetent employee and she is all of those obnoxious corporate America terms that make us want to puke like "team-player" and "crew resource management" *Brie smile*  (dear God I hope this about work since I keep feeling that so strongly. Either way, do NOT trust this person!!) She fights nasty. She is smug and she is a liar. But do not underestimate your opponent! She is one very very sharp cookie! She is power-hungry and loves to be right. She totally enjoys making others look foolish so she can come out smelling like a rose. Think that chick from The Hand that rocks the Cradle or Eli Gold on The Good Wife. Or, although I love this character, Constance from American Horror Story. Vindictive, cunning, and duplicitous. Nasty!

3. The Tower XVI-  Man.... whew! Just keep one eye open at all times and steer clear of this person! Do not give them even a slight hint that you are nervous about them, that will only fuel the fire with a personality like this! This person is a predator man, very destructive. But not everyone else may see her that way. She may appear to be harmless, "oh, you know how she is. It's not big deal." Uhh... yeah, it is a very big deal! Again, that whole sweet little victim routine. They are very destructive and if you let your guard down and trust them, it will somehow be worse than what you can see right now. Something will catch you totally off guard and will blow up in your face and there will be hell to pay. Do not goad her into a battle, but like they say when you think a predator is following you or in a elevator with you to make eye contact. Don't start any fires, but let them know that you have got their number "Hi there. How are you today? I'm well thank you." *Brie smile*

If you trust this person, you will rue the day!

4-6. If you don't trust this person, what will it get you? The Lovers VI, The Star XVII, Knight of Cups- This whole set speaks to making choices based on intellect as well as gut instincts and being happier for it.

4. The Lovers VI- This card is so often about romantic relationships. So if I am wrong about this being a work situation, still don't trust her. She is a divide and conquer sort. The Lovers is ruled by the planet Mercury, the planet of communication and intellect. It is also about blending the intellect with what you are passionate about, making choices that ring true in your head but also in your heart. I feel like you already know you can't trust this person and you have had an experience or two that substantiates your suspicions. If you don't trust her, there is some relationship that will be much better for it. No matter how much someone else thinks she is harmless, she ain't! If it's a co-worker, a boss, a lover, a family member, they may be blind to this person's true nature. You aren't and I think you know why. Don't forget it.

5. The Star XVII- The Star is all about hope, faith, trust even when you can't see why. Trust your gut! I also think that there is someone else who has got your back in this situation, acts as your guardian angel, a true friend. Maybe they know how she really is and will give you heads up on things. I still would let that person do more of the talking and you do the listening though. Not trusting her will keep you safe and somehow not let your faith in someone, or something be tainted. Maybe your faith in humanity, that not everyone is out to get you and it is ok to allow certain people in. Again, go with your gut.

6. Knight of Cups- You will be much happier and have emotional contentment if you don't trust said person. Peace of mind is priceless.

7. What is hidden that you need to know?- 8 of pentacles- Ok the dang card is an office scene with a coffee cup that has the word "Boss" written on it. Again, is this a work situation? Is this chick trying to take your job, or get a promotion so she has authority over you? Or even if it isn't work related, she wants to have you at a definite disadvantage. I keep hearing that there are lies and something to do with communication that is sneaky.

8. Advice- King of Wands- Again, just keep acting like it's all no big deal, she is no big deal and she doesn't even phase you. Look her in the eye and smile when you see her *Brie* but don't make it overly obvious that you know she is a wench. She is the type who will never ever let anyone see her sweat! She is cocky and loves to be in control and she is very quick on her feet. Always keep the upper hand by doing what you need to but ignoring her. She will hate that lol. But do not let either her or this situation consume you. Stay focused on what is most important, and that is your own happiness and peace. If you let this be at the forefront of your thoughts all of the time, then she has won in all actuality. Because you know her game, treat her as no more than the annoying gnat at the picnic that she is.

I hope this is helpful and gives you the information you need to make the best choices.

My First Night In Jackson Square: Fun For Me!

I just realized I never posted the pix of the first night I read cards in New Orleans' Jackson Square. Then I realized that I've never posted any pix of myself. Just never seemed important. But I am still so tickled pink at it all! So here ya go. (yes, I just had to add at least one word in a different color tee-hee!)

 Ok, I have NO idea what the heck we were discussing that got this face LOL!!

 Willow, my new friend that I met when I went to her to get a reading a few days prior and she told me that I was supposed to be on a spirirtual path and what a wonderful idea it would be to come out and read. She and her husband Xan are the best!

 Embracing my inner High Priestess!

 I love it! I am doing what I love, am so passionate about, helping people find the answers that are right there inside yet are sometimes so deeply hidden. In New Orleans. Look at me cheesin', loving it! Fe Fi Fo Fun for me!

My stars,  before this night, I can't tell you the lat time I smiled like this. *note to Self*

Thanksgiving Day 2011

I just got in from a very full day of wonderful family and lots of great food. I saw people I haven't seen in years and it was wonderful. I got to see my precious cousin Dominique who has grown into a  beautiful young lady, and her dad Kenny who is just the best! I laughed and felt a lot of love, and I also had some folks say some smart-ass stuff to make me wanna smack them lol. But hey, it's the holidays. That is par for the course, so whatever. Overall, I had a very nice day.
But in the bottom of my stomach, at the back of my head, there was this nasty, unpleasant feeling, like a pebble in the shoe. My mom and I are at odds *fake surprise face*. She and I will never see life the same way by a long shot! And that causes a WHOLE lotta problems. But all that for another time. The point is that I'm sitting here now and feeling sad about the situation that has been the case for as long as I can remember.

So I decided to ask my beautiful Shadows & Light Oracle, What do I need to be thankful for today that I'm not seeing right now?" When I first pulled the deck out of its box, the card titled Autumn Is My Last Chance was the one at the top. I started to shuffle and after only a couple of times that card came falling out. The girl looks so lost, so sad as she stands in the mist in the woods. The mist makes me think of "getting all misty" as in crying, which I've been on the verge of for about 1/2 hour. It also makes me think of confusion and not seeing things clearly. She has on a olive-colored dress and though she is so sad, she has such a sweet face and these really pretty bat wings. To me this speaks to one of my favorite things in life, dichotomy, opposites that work together beautifully. She is saying to me that I have got to love and accept myself as I am and somehow stop worrying about what my mother thinks of me. She is so pissed, excuse me, "devastated!" that I do tarot cards. Are you fucking kidding me...!? I guess given my mother's level of intelligence I expect so much more from her and am shocked that she would say or feel something so damn stupid. Maybe it's unfair to say that how another person feels is stupid, but happens to be how I feel, for someone so well-read to be so small minded and simple. But as I look at the card, I see that this little dark angle is beautiful just as she is. Her bat wings on enhance her beauty and uniqueness. I need to be grateful that I am not like the masses, that in so many ways I am my own unique person and that is beautiful and special no matter what ANYONE thinks. Her caption reads "Please don't loose hope!" I do feel pretty hopeless right now about a lot of things. But she is saying to hold on. Which is funny because I happen to be listening to a song that has a chorus that says "dry your eyes, please don't cry, you can be strong if you just hold on". Even though the song is a totally different context, the line is really striking me now for this situation. The dark angle is holding onto a shiny red apple, reminding me I have my health, my back is SOO much better than it has been in years and that alone is more than enough to be thankful for! Now that I read the booklet I further understand that her message is that the apple is to show me that I have everything I need, so use it. Once I do, I will let go of the need for approval, shelter or rescue from others.
Thank you Goddess. Right now I am thankful for this moment of peace and clarity and for the Shadows and Light Oracle that led me to it.

Relationship Reading For a Client: Will My Ex Boyfriend and I Get Back Together?

This was a reading done via email request. The querent wanted to know if she would reunited with an ex-boyfriend.

You have a pretty nice blend of all 4 elements in this reading, so I see that given the fact that there are more swords than any other, I'd say that there was some stress and conflict. Also that communication may have been an issue. The number of wands shows me that there was/is passion, 2 cups show me that a lot of emotion or love was involved. But there is only one pentacle, so a lot of growth is needed and stability and security are issues that need to be addressed.

1. Where things are right now- 9 of Swords- Right now things are almost a dead issue and that has lead to a lot of stress. But there is something that is the corner stone of the relationship and that holds one or both of you in this. Did you all meet at church? I feel like faith, religion or spirituality was a big part of the relationship. (Somehow church was involved.) I also feel like someone was truly heartbroken and still carries that pain. It needs to be addressed and given time to heal before any progress can be made. 9's are about things coming to an end. The good thing about that though is that if you bury the ghosts of the past, you can have a fresh new start. But let go of the baggage, whatever that may be.

2. What helps or hinders the situation- 4 of wands- Time away from each other has been good. Relaxing and kicking back, enjoying the moment, not stressing is what will help things. Going out and having a good time but not putting any strong expectations on the outcome. Doing fun things that you both can relate to and enjoy, but nothing heavy or real demanding. I feel like the subject of marriage is an issue that weighs heavily and adds anxiety. Dating and enjoying the experience of each others company is what is needed here. Dinner with friends, go on Living Social or Groupon and find really cool, different and interesting stuff will help you both to really learn who each other is, yet not make anyone feel like they are under a microscope or being pressured or tested. This kind of stuff is a really good way to see past the best-foot-forward we all put on. It will show you how compatible you are. Do you enjoy the same things, are you both advernterous, or are you both home bodies? Do you like to go out to eat, or is take-out and Netflix what you both rather? Do you both enjoy meeting new people or is one of you more of a recluse who would be just fine never leaving the house. And how do you compromise if you have a different opinion or plan? Do you respect each others space and independence or is somebody co-dependent? Take the stress of and you can both see who the real person is.

3.How you see him- The Lovers VI- It's very interesting that you both got very similar cards here in a lot of ways. You both got 6's, and they are about re-establishing balance and re-organizing what you want to create. I'd say in a lot of ways you are very well-suited. You see him as husband material, a keeper not just a fly-by-night-and keep-it-movin'. A person you could grow old with, who is not afraid of commitment. Was he married before? You feel a sense of balance and mutual respect.

4. How he sees you- 6 of Pentacles- He sees you as an equal partner, someone who understands that a relationship is give and take. He sees you as a very giving and generous person who may expect a lot, but only because you damn sure give a lot. He sees that you have a lot to offer, and that you balance him out because in a lot of ways you really "get" him. He sees that ride-or die woman who may smack you upside your head when you need it, but will love and stand by him through thick and thin. This man sees your worth, he values what you bring to the table.

*clicking on the picture will enlarge in for better view of the cards*

5. What's best for you- King of Swords- Ok chick, I'm just gonna say this point blank-- what's best for you is to make a firm decision and stand by it. And that means do you want him or do you want your ex, because this card is the one that represents you ex! You've got to cut the ties you have to the ex if you want things to happen with this one. He is much more emotional that your ex. It's harder for him to bounce back after heartache, he is much more sensitive. No two ways about it, the energy of the feelings you have for you ex will create a wall between you and this man. Even though it souns like I am addressing what's best for him, it really is what's best for you. You don't want to get hurt, but you don't want to hurt anyone else. Not making a choice will keep you from really knowing what you want or seeing what is best for you . You've got to clear off your plate. If you are supposed to be with the ex, it will become evident ONLY after you let him go. Sounds ass-backwards, I know, but that's what I really feel. And you will only know if this cat is what's best for you if don't have thoughts of someone else dancing in your head.

Another thing I feel from this card is have you taken time alone without a relationship and just gotten a clear understanding of who you are and what you want. Not having to consider anyone else but what You. An extended period of time as a single woman not dating anyone and getting in touch with who you are.

6. What's best for him-The Chariot VII- He may or may not show his emotions easily, but he is very emotional. What's best for him is to have a clear direction of where he wants things to go. I feel like he is a long haul kinda guy. The emotional yo-yo, whether it's him or its you who is pulling that string, will wreck him. He needs security and affection. Someone to come home to who he can trust and feel safe with. He needs control, but not necessarily in the negative sense. In the sense that he has peace of mind because he knows his heart is in safe care.

7. Advice/Outcome- 5 of Wands- This just reiterates letting go of stressing out over the outcome, wracking your brain to have all the answers. It's gonna drive ya nuts! I still feel like getting out and being social and having fun is key. With him, but also on your own. Passion is not just in the bedroom, it's what are you passionate about in life, things that make you smile 'till your face hurts, laugh until your side is splitting! If both of you let things flow and you will really see things from a whole new perspective.

8. Bottom Line- The Fool 0- It looks like there is a definite possibility, dare I say probability of a a fresh start. This card is all about that child-like fearlessness that kids have. They take risks and are excited to do so. It is all well and good to take the experiences from the past to kind of guide you, but don't let them keep you in a box. If you can't see the forest for the trees, you will never know what wonderful things lie ahead of you. But look at the number of this card, 0: you gotta work from ground zero with a fresh new approach, an open heart and an open mind. You two may have a few challenges but the fact that you seem to respect and want to work together will go a very long way to that marriage you want being healthy and happy.

I hope this helps and gives you some insight as to what is best for you,

Relationship Reading For a Client: Will My Ex and I Get Back Together?

This is a reading I did via email for a client. Her is her request:
I got divorced a yr ago, but I want to know if my ex and I will get back together. He's dating someone right now though. 


This is the reading I sent to her via email:
First of all, I don't know if you've ever had a tarot reading before. Think of it as a snapshot of your life right now and the energies around you at this time. Everyone has free will, so either you or the other person can change things based upon what choices are made.

The first thing I notice is how many cups and fire you have in the reading. so this shows me a lot of love and a lot of passion as well. I also notice the lack of pentacles and only one sword and it is not the most positive of swords to say the least. That tells me that there are some major communication issues and that ideology or logic is in question and that there is not a solid foundation that is present. A lot of growth and nurturing needs to take place because there are a lot of security issues.

1. Where things stand right now- The Sun XIX- Well for you to have the question you do, this is a most auspicious card. The cards want to start talking about focusing on the bright side. It seems that there is a lot that is positive and to be hopeful for. It reflects that at one point there was a lot of happiness and joy. But that healing and growth needs to take place.

2. What helps or hinders- 10 of Cups- Wow, again such a positive card, the card of the happy family and marriage. The fact that you both want the emotional support of a relationship is what is in your favor for reconciliation. But my eye is also drawn to dark woods in the background. Did something happen before you guys got married that is still an issue because it wasn't dealt with or brought to the light?

3. How you see him- 2 of Cups- You see him as the yin to your yang, as your true mate that you want to have a very deep connection with. The person you want to share your ideas and feelings with, but in a very deep and profound way. You see him as your rock, your strength. Like maybe you are opposites in many ways but that is a big part of what attracts you to him. 

4. How he sees you- 4 of Cups- I feel like he doesn't really see the gift he has in you, your unshakable loyalty. You are ride or die, 100% committed and your love is so pure. I question whether or not he realizes how lucky/blessed he is to have that. What issues from his past again are hanging over him and causing him to be distant and detached. He may need to get out of his own head so much and realize that not everything can be planned out and followed like a business plan. And in all fairness to him, what things did you do when you where dating and first fell in love that you stopped doing? The things that attracted him to you and made him want to get to know more about you and made him excited and feel that passion.

5. What's best for you? 5 of Cups- It's like what's best for you is to let go and move on. If things have a chance to be worked  out, you need to take care of you and do a lot of healing. It is imperative that you gain a sense of independence. So that both of you know that you want him, not that you need him. I think you feel like that would be dishonoring your strong sense of commitment, but that will actually prove it. You have to be committed to yourself first. And stop beating yourself up. Take responsibility for what you should, but stop beating yourself up! Whatever you did or maybe that you didn't do is gone and over. All you can do is start from this moment and move forward. But you can NOT continue to beat yourself up! Nor let anyone else beat you up for anything! You have to move on and let go if there is any chance at reconciliation. Because he has GOT to respect you more.

*click on the picture to enlarge it*

6. What's best for him- King of Wands- I feel like he needs to grow up in a lot of ways. It can be hard to balance work, home, wife, friends, other family, hanging with the boys, ect. But if he wants to be in a marriage, he's going to have to start to work on it. And work itself cannot be his scapegoat for everything. Is he a work-a-holic? Does he have the Peter Pan syndrome? What is he not facing or want to deal with or put his energy into? What's best for him is to re-define what he is truly passionate about in life and what success really means to him.

7. Advice/outcome - 9 of Swords- There is a consistent theme of not facing something and ghosts from the past that need to be faced and put to rest. Something that keeps one or both of you extremely stressed and  literally gives you nightmares that wakes you up at night. It's time to face the demons of the past or they will continue to haunt you, both individually and separately. And with any other relationships that may come in the future. I think counseling or spiritual advice will really benefit you all. The power of prayer can do amazing things, but again, human beings have free will. So it's up to us what we choose to do, or not do. This card says to me that if there is a chance of a new beginning, there has got to be a definitive ending. The loss of a relationship or marriage is just like a death and so a period of mourning and all of the steps that go along with that are necessary for healing to begin. And anger and acceptance are part of that process.

8. Over all Bottom Line- Judgement XX- This is the card being used to sum up all of the rest of the reading. It says to me that there is a good chance that reconcilation is possible. But a lot of very hard work is needed here, it won't be an easy road. This is known as the card of second chances, the do-over card I call it, taking things to the next level. But it also means that a lot of courage is required and a lot of healing is required if there is a chance to reconstruct this marriage. And I say reconstruct and not rebuild here because a whole new foundation needs to be established, a completely clean slate to work from. Some huge emotional situation needs to be overcome. This is the Archangel Gabriel giving the call to you both. It's time to wake up and choose what response you want to give to this call, what you want out of your lives, separately and as a couple. But I am coming back to that 2 of cups. This card is about PARTNERSHIP, not just a relationship. If two people are not working together toward a common goal, it's just a relationship, not a partnership. And if both of the partners are not on the same page of what they want to get out of being together then you are not working together. Prayer is talking to God. Meditation is being quiet and still long enough to listen to the answers. Find time to be alone and light a white candle and start writing a letter. To God, to yourself and to your ex-husband. Get your feelings out on paper. Then come back to it and read it after 3 days. I feel like your answers will be in that writing.

Sending you love, healing, and prayers to you. Please feel free to give me your feedback

xoxox

Rabbit Heart in a Taurus Full Moon

"Holding on to anger is like holding on to a hot coal with the intension of throwing at another"
~Nichiren Diashonin

I have heard the call of the Goddess so strongly since I got back to New Orleans. I have been practicing Nichiren Buddhism for the past 2 years. I am so happy that I did. But She has called me back and it is a feeling down deep in my soul.

My 40th birthday is right around the corner. I have been dreading it because I feel SO unaccomplished in my life. Nothing is as I'd have hoped at 39. But I finally have turned the corner on my feelings about that. Like my grandfather used to say, "If you don't like getting old, try the alternative" My friend Willow suggested I do a banishing spell so I have a clean slate to do a spell on the new moon to bring the things into my life that I want. So I have done a very simple but powerful spell. I haven't been a practicing witch in several years so I no long have alter supplies. Plus where I am it is very difficult to do spell work. Here are the items I used:

writing paper
1 silver candle
olive oil            
sea salt
lemon zest
1/2 & 1/2
a white paper plate
purple ink pen
tarot cards- the High Priestess II, 9 of pentacles, Empress III. Ace of Wands, Ace of Pentacles, 6 of swords, and The Hierophant V

I sat down and I wrote a letter of forgiveness to everyone I harbor any resentment or anger toward. It was actually not as hard as I expected it would be. (I guess once a week for 4 years with a shrink actually does pay off. Humph.) But I just let it rip, anyone or thing that I still had beef with. The Scorpio ex b/f, the airline I used to worked for, my parents, previous roomates. (And if you've read any of my posts from Feb-June, then you know that bullshit was real hard to do!) Even the individual who date raped me when I was 19 and took my virginity. I didn't even realize that was still an issue at this point in my life. Not a big one, but there is still some anger and hatred no doubt. But 20 years is a really long time to be pissed off no matter how good of a reason. It was a bit of a challenge to not be judegmental and to also assume responsibility for my part in things when needed, yet not blame myself for things that were not my fault or beyond my control. And that brings me to the most important person I had to forgive- ME! All 5 of them crazy chix in my dome! I have to banish the self-doubt, anger and negative feelings about myself, my life. It's like... it's like being an emotional hoarder. Let that shit fucking go man! Free your mind, your ass'll follow! I'm sick and tired of being prisoner to Fear and Doubt. They got ta go!

You will notice the big shiny reflection of the counter top. Normally that would drive me crazy and get cropped, but when I was taking the pix it looked just like the full moon shining down. So I kept it.

So I wrote my letters/notes. Then I selected the cards that coincide with my intention and with the energy of a Taurus full moon.
The HP II because I want to stop doubting my self and my intuition. I have more than enough life experiences at this point that I damn sure can start to have complete trust in myself! And how gorgeous is she in this deck, plus the full moon on it.
 9ofP beacuse I want to be an indpendant, self-sufficient woman who has a wonder home and is secure and comfortable within her own skin. Plus this card represents the 9 disks in my back that bothered me for so long. And we all know how much I love black cats and Catwoman. This is my all time favorite 9ofP!
The Empress because she is associated with Taurus, but more so because I have never had kids because if fear and doubt. Fear of loosing my independance and personal freedom and fear of finances, another Taurus issue. Also because I recently found out that at 38 I started menopause. Are you fucking kidding me... But my gut tells me don't believe it as far as fertility. If I choose that I really want one, I will have one. I've decided I do since I have been around a baby everyday for 2 months. But that'll be in another post.

AofW- again the mom issues and creating the life I want in general and having it filled with passion and energy. And the fertility aspect. This may just be the most gorgeous AofW I have ever seen!
AofP- Taurus and money security issues. I want to remove my negative and false ideas about money and prosperty in general.

The Hierophant V Rx- Ruled by Taurus and all about following what God/Goddess direct you to do. Also about not being a slave to what society says is "right". I felt this version really captured that.
6ofSw Rx- I've made posts about how this version looks like the guy in the front is Fear and the one in back is Doubt and they are keeping this powerful creature enslaved. I want to move on to a better life and freedom from negativity. I don't ususally use Rx cards but for this spell I did on these last two because these are things I want to banish. I just took the picture right-side-up so we can see what the cards look like.

I have my silver candle burning right now as I type this out. That way I am further infusing it with my intent, which is what magick is all about. If you want to know more about casting spells, check out Rowan Pendragon's site. She is amazing and a wealth of knowledge.

*this was actually done on 11/11/11 though it is being posted a day later

I have been listening to Florence + The Machine while I have been sitting here. I love their music so much. Rabbit Heart I think is perfect for this! Because I will no longer be a rabbit-hearted girl! (Lyrics below the video.)

FLORENCE + THE MACHINE LYRICS

"Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)"

The looking glass, so shiny and new
How quickly the glamour fades
I start spinning, slipping out of time
Was that the wrong pill to take? (Raise it up)

You made a deal, and now it seems you have to offer up
But will it ever be enough? (Raise it up, raise it up)
It's not enough (Raise it up, raise it up)

Here I am, a rabbit hearted girl
Frozen in the headlights
It seems I've made the final sacrifice

We raise it up, this offering
We raise it up

This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight

I look around, but I can't find you (raise it up)
If only I could see your face (raise it up)
Instead of rushing towards the skyline (raise it up)
I wish that I could just be brave

I must become a lion hearted girl
Ready for a fight
Before I make the final sacrifice

We raise it up, this offering
We raise it up

This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight

Raise it up, raise it up
Raise it up, raise it up

And in the spring I shed my skin
And it blows away with the changing wind
The waters turn from blue to red
As towards the sky I offer it

This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight

This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight

This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife?
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight

This is a gift

Birthday Message for a Friend

Someone asked me to do a reading based on the question: What does the Goddess want me to know for my birthday?" I used the gorgeous Shadows & Light oracle cards. Here is what the Goddess had to say:

1. Ghosts From the Past- Make peace with the past, whomever hurt you or you have hurt, past mistakes ect. Let it all go. Forgiveness is key for you to move on, it is what is causing you apprehention about being yor true self. No more fear of the past or of being your true self that you know you are meant to be.

2. The Witch At the End of the World ( my fav card in the deck!) Again the same theme of endings and new beginnings, no more delay, change is eminent. Do not be afraid, you are protected and much better things will come from this change.

3. Fairy of the Highlands- the time for truce is over. You may not want to fight, hope for things to just be ok, But she says you have to go kick some ass b/c someone is fucking with you and not resepcing you, you need to set very clear boundaries, cut ties with those who have mistaken your kindness for weakness. Do not back down!


I have noticed this deck seems to want me to add up the numbers on each card and come up with the sum. So I added 42+45+20 = 107 = 8. So I felt like She wanted me to grab the card from a traditional tarot deck that corresponds with the number 8, thus Strength VIII. (I know, I know. For some folks it's Justice. I see Justice as XI. And no, I do not care what is drawn/written on the card, not one little bit. So no, I didn't accidentally write the wrong number. I wrote what I associate Strength as, what works for me, what my guides and intuition tell me is right for Me! Do what works best for You) I felt drawn to the ultra gorgeous Tarot of Vampyres. 

You have to acknowledge your own personal power and harness it. The roses say to me that you need to present yourself in such a manner that other see your beauty inside and out, but also see that you will defend and protect yourself. It also says to me that you may get a better result if you don't look at things from the perspective of right vs wrong or good vs bad, but rather cause and effect. That removes 
judgement or blame on others as well as yourself.


*by the way, don't ask me why the color isn't taking right now lol 

Relationship Reading: Chuck and Sparkle

A friend asked me for a reading on a love interest. I decided to try Rhiannon's relationship spread using her deck the Faulkner Tarot. She has a fabulous YouTube video on how to do it. This spread involves a lot of cards, 16 of them. I had a hard time trying to figure out how I was going to take picture of the cards. Should I break it up with several pictures in groups? I chose not to and to do a shot of the entire spread so we could actually see the cool way she lays the cards out. I just put it in the middle of the reading. If you click on the picture it will enlarge it so you can see the cards in more detail.

1-3. What does Sparkle bring into the relationship? Well, all three cards are swords, so right off the bat that tells me that Sparkle is very stressed about realtionships and that she may need to work on her communication skills. Perhaps she can be a bit cold or use her words as weapons. First card is the 9 of swords- aka "the nightmare card" which reiterates the stress and often times actual nightmares. Being right next to Justice XI this shows her recent divorce is still very fresh in her mind. It seems she was in a relationship that was extremly painful and her heart is still very heavy. Next to it is the 4 of swords, the card that says you need to rest and take care of yourself. All together, this group is telling me that she needs to take time to heal from a whole lot of nasty shit from the past that still haunts her. Letting go of old ghosts that still haunt her. Everything is energy and the energy of her past relationship or her ex is still clinging to her spirit, which makes all the sense in the world. Even though we know it's best to leave a situation it doesn't take away the pain. Right now, I see her bringing a lot of old wounds and a need for self-care and nurturing. It's great to see she has learned to set boundaries, but I fear she has set up walls.

3-6. What Chuck brings to the reationship? He seems to bring a lot more emotion and openness than Sparkle, but he still has his own apprehention and fear. The first card is the 3 of cups. I think Chuck wants a good healthy relationship, commitment, something where he feels safe and supported, but also fun and happy times they can share together. The next card, the Ace of Swords, shows he is still scared a bit shitless but wants to take the plunge, break out of his comfort zone. Is he afraid of loosing his personal freedom if he gets into a relationship? And this next card is the Queen of Cups. Who is she? Is she the woman from his past who may have been emotionally manipulative? Did she not treat him as an equal or does he have some "mamma's boy" tendencies?

7. How Sparkle sees Chuck- Page of wands- Chuck seems like his ass is a whole lot of fun! She sees him as wild, adventurous, and sexy as hell! Chuck really makes her all tingly in naughty places lol! She sees him as a break from the monotony of life and a fresh new start.

8. How Chuck sees Sparkle- 6 of Swords- This makes me think that the Qof C we jsut saw is someone from his past. He sees Sparkle as moving on to a less stressful time. Someone he can do fun and romatic things and who will appreciate him for it. But he also sees her as hiding something. He sees that wall she has up.

9. How did Sparkle first see Chuck? When they first met, what did she think? - The Hanged Man XII- She saw him as a very strong possibility she wanted to pursue, but she saw his apprehention, his need to take things slowly and in his own time. I like how this shows that she has learned from her past to see a person as they are, not who she wants them to be.

10. How did Chuck see Sparkle when they first met?- 2 of pentacles- He saw her stress and trying to find her footing and balance in her life. He saw she needs to take things slowly as well. I also think he saw that she is the type of person who is such a giver and that she gave so much of herself in the past yet never had it balanced out with recieving from her ex that she is just tapped out at the moment and needs to continue working on her own needs. I like that, it shows he thinks about others and not only himself.

11. What are Sparkle's fears that could block this relationship? 9 of pentacles- Well Chuck ain't the only one who fears loosing his independence huh. The 9ofP is all about someone who has worked long and hard to get to wear they are. A person who has learned to love themselves and is very independant. They like the company of others, yes, but they do not need anyone else! Her fear of loosing herself in the relationship in another person could block thngs.

12. What are Chuck's fears?- Knight of Cups- I think he fears getting all caught up in the romance of it and I also think he fears rejection. Is there a shy aspect of Chuck? Or is it again that QofC from his past who kicked his ass emotionally and made him insecure? This man needs a lot of emotional reassurance.

13. Outside influences in Sparkle's world- The Lovers VI- I feel this goes back to her divorce since this card often has to do with marriage. It also has to do with choices and balancing the head with the heart. Are there issues other than the ones already mentioned that are major choices in Sparkle's world that are making her have to choose what road to take?

14. Outside influences in Chuck's world? The Knight of Pentacles- Is work or money making and planning for the future in a slow methodical way a major factor in his world that would infuence him? Or does he see that this relationship would be a lot of hard work and he is trying to go very slowly to see if it's worth it. Not in a cruel way or that he is seeing Sparkle in a negative light, just a mature assement of of his life and what is best.

15. Outcome- 5 of swords- I hate to say it, but I have to be honest in my readings. The 5ofSw is just a nasty card that really doesn't have a good side to it. I see the two of them just rubbing eachother the wrong way and things getting nasty and stressful, bringing out the worst and not the best in each other. The 5ofSw is about gossip, and shit-talkin', and empty victories. Shit hits the fan and the gloves come off and people fight unfairly.

16. So I jsut had to check another card to see if there was anything else we could find out. I did the card at the bottom of the deck which sums it all up, the bottom line of it all.--Damn... 10 of Swords. I hate like hell to say it, but it does not look very promising to say the least for this relationship. 10ofSw is another one of the most nasty cards in the deck. It shows starting over, but from a place of a lot of pain and stress and emptiness. Which I guess kind of comes full circle from the first cards we laid out to begin with.

. 

Living Tarot Phone Class- Intuitive Reading Level 1

If you have not checked out Ferol's page on FB called Living Tarot, may I suggest you do so. She is such a wonderful and talented reader who is so passionate about helping others cultivate their skills. I know I have grown leaps and bounds over the past few months from doing the exercises she posts most every night for us to participate in with the most unique and fascinating questions. She will be doing a series of phone classes on intuitive reading starting Sunday Nov 13 @9:00-11:00 pm EST and go through Dec 4. The fee is jsut $80 for all 4 of the 2 hour long classes. Or here is the link that takes you directly to the event page for the class.  I am so excited to be able to have this opportunity!

I think the cards I'd have to choose to represent this are  8 of pentacles  flanked by the Ace of Wands and The High Priestess II and chose my gorgeous Tarot of the Vampyres and fire/earth/water make for a very good set up for elemental dignities. The central theme is the 8ofP, learning, education, fine tuning your skills. The AofW is a new opportunity with regard to somthing you are passionate about or are expending energy on and it is full of promise to give birth to a glorious new creation. And my beloved HP II in this deck has her book of shadows levitating in front of her. She is the keeper of esoteric knowledge, wisdom that can only come from life experience, which is how we cultivate our intuition.

I am torn on whether Ferol is the Queen of Cups or Pentacles, but I'm going go with the Queen of Pentacles and chose thee version from my Sweet Twilight. She is so nurturing, patient and sincere. She has a very grounding effect and she gives so much encouragement yet helps us find our own answers ourselves. I so look forward to the day I can meet her in person.

Should I Drive Today?

I didn't realize that my drivers license has been exprired for quite some time now and I'd forgotten to renew it. Well I figured I'll just do the limit or 5 miles below and if I should get stopped I'll just play dumb or play the girl card. (don't act like you haven't played the girl card and won't again lol!) I heard my guides tell me clear as day "don't drive today". I was going to blow it off but then I remembered my cousin's b/f told me to be really careful. We are like 45 min outside of New Orleans and there are so many little towns where the speed limit changes from 35 to 50 to 45 to 55 then 45..... WTF?!?!  They are just setting you up for failure! And that they could actually put me in jail for that! And being a black woman out here??? Shhhit! But jail, that is beyond extreme to me! I mean for real!?? Fucking jail?? It's a piece of plastic that needs two of the numbers that make up the year to be changed! It's not a damn DUI due to a fifth of Kettle One and a lit blunt! And from the state that has DRIVE THROUGH DAQUARI STANDS!! That's a frozen beverage with rum and you choice of additional alcohol!!!  Are you kidding me!?! 


 Then I heard, "Ok tarot reader, go pull a card.  So I did.


This is what everyone who reads means when they tell you to listen to your guides and your intuition and they will speak to you." So I ask, "Should I drive today, will it be ok?"--- 4 of Swords. I was like dang, ok. But let me just pull 2 more out of habit. The fucking 3of Sw and The Tower  XVI for Goddess' sake!!! I kept my ass out of any driver's seat that day and didn't drive today. May not tomorrow either lol! 

Yes, I'll have my arse on a plane next week to give the state... excuse me, the common wealth of PA their $60. Yes, 60 freakin' dollars because I have a motorcycle endorsement! Damn thieves! But the staying out of jail?? Priceless!

I Popped My Cherry!

I DID IT!!!
 I did it damnit all to hell! I FINALLY carried my ass down to the French Quarter (FQ) to Jackson Square (JSq) and read cards!
I was so nervous, but I finally made up my mind because it was just before Halloween and what better time  and place for Goddess sake!?! New Orleans, LA in The FQ, on Halloween! If not then, WTF man! I went to my cousin's room and told that ballsy Leo chick to kick my ass. And she did lol! I had no idea how the frick I was gonna get me and all my shit from A-B. It hit me, *ding* use your rollerboard flight attendant! So I packed up candles, put newspaper and prayer in and around the glass holders, my pillow, blanket, cards inscence, 3 decks of cards, and pretty cloths for my table, shoved a wad of bread and a Motrin 800mg down my gullet, slapped on my screaming whore red MAC Russian Roulette lipstick and rolled on out the door. My cousin had gotten the cloth fold up chairs out for me. I threw it all in the back of his beat up pick up truck his wife The Leo named The Green Goblin and carried my ass to the store to get a table. I'd looked it up online, called and they said they had it. I drive to the FQ and decide to go to pay to park so I knew I'd find a  space. I knew I could not have even the slightest thing be even a remotely possible reason for me to punk out! I drag my shit to JSq and start to set up and stop short. WTH.... The freakin' table is  SO NOT the one I saw online!! It barely came as high as my knees and was like 1' X 1'! Was this intended for a 3yr old's tea party?! My heart sank a bit, but I was just so proud I had even got this far. I was jsut about to pack up when the husband, Xan, of the nice couple I have become friends with comes over and is looking at me like WTH is that LOL? He then goes over and Willow, his wife who gave me a wonderful reading a couple of weeks ago and encouraged me to come out there, was so kind and let me use one of her tables! They are the nicest people, I'm really happy to be building a friendship with them! Long story short, no sooner than I lit the candles did a woman come and sit down. I was so so nervous, that I was too nervous to remember I was nervous LMFAO! I ended up doing 3 readings. I'd set a goal of leaving by midnight and not without $100. Well, by 11:30pm, I had exactly $100! I'm so pissed I forgot to take pix of my first big night because I had a ball! I've done readings before, but not anything like this. This was the most brave I may have ever been about my tarot career. I'm still in shock. I have had the most f*kd up stomach flu so I haven't been back yet. But on Oct 30, 2011, (the birthday of my mother who would so not approve- tee-hee-hee!) I popped my tarot cherry LMFAO!

So my inner "Yeah But....." is all like, "well... what if that was just a fluke and you totally suck next time hmmm??"
So my I'm going to pull some cards to address that. I will use my Faulkner Tarot since all 3 peeps chose that one out of the 3 decks I had to choose from. (I just knew someone would want The Tarot of Vampyres on Halloween for Pete's sake, but nope)

This is so direct and to-the-point it's as ridiculous as I am about being such a chicken-shit LOL! We got 2 Major arcana and one face out of 3 cards. The elemental dignites are water/water/air. Which in this reading I'd say are perfect; intuition and emotions mixed with logic and communication. Bam.

1. How do I need to see myself as a professional reader now that I did this?- Queen of Cups- This is water of water. She is the nurturer, the compassionate woman who's intuition is almost always spot on. If you ever wanted a card to represent who you are with regard to anything in the psychic realm, other than the mighty High Priestess Herself, this is it!


2. What is blocking me from seeing myself that way?- The Hanged Man XII- The first thing that came to mind was the word " bullshittin'!" As in wasting time, hanging out, not being direct and waiting until I'm under the gun to do shit while I'm all stressed out. This card is ruled by Neptune. Many of us involved with the spiritual side of life tend to not be successful because we get stoned on the big pink smoke machine and glitter of the esoteric like a bunch of 1930's jazz musicians. We just float along and don't remember that time is money, so use one wisely and you will create more of the other one! --- Omg--- It's 00:10 and someone's alarm clock jsut went off, surely by accident, but while I am looking at this card! Talk about your wake up call! Wake up and get my shit together! Treat this as the real profession it is and not like a hobby to pass the time!

3. What card should I focus in whenever I start to doubt mySelf as a professional reader?                         The Magician I Ruled by Mercury, planet of speed and communication. Card that is the Godsmack of a golden opportunity. It says you have everything you need right at your hot little hands to create the result you want. Just focus, believe with every fiber of your being and make the shit happen. It means an amazing new job opportunity. I have amazing chemistry with people more often than not. I make them feel at ease and not judged and am very easy to talk to. I see the path and the bend in it. I don't know where this will take me, but if I don't keep moving I'll neer find out. And the brightness is almost like I'm really outside in the sunshine. There is the path, the boat, the bridge; this will all lead to numerous opportunities that far reach what my narrow vision can see right now. It will take work, but it will be SO worth it!