Tonight I pulled out a deck I haven't used in quite a while, my Dark Angles deck, and drew The Hanged Man XII Rx. (I just pulled this card upright in for a post I made last week!) see a graceful, black-winged angel soaring through the night sky. (Yet another sign I need to get back to being a flight attendant...) Her hair billowing freely overhead and the most peaceful look on her face as a beam of moonlight illuminates a path just for her in a sea of darkness. This says to me that in the darkest of times there is always hope, that The Goddess speaks and guides us when we pause to hear Her voice while meditating. Let our emotions be our indicator as to wether or not we are on the path that leads to emotional healing and joy. There is a rope at her waist tethering her to an unseen source. Something about this card makes me think of The Dark Knight series, both the first and third installment when Bruce Wayne has to face his greatest fears and literally as well as figuratively climb out of a pit of despair and darkness.
[after seeing the dead bodies of the special forces men hanging from the cables of Gotham Bridge shown on TV, we see Bruce doing sit-ups in his cell, the blind prisoner says something in his own language the other prisoner translates]
Prisoner: He says the leap to freedom is not about strength.
Bruce Wayne: My body makes the jump.
Blind Prisoner: Survival is the spirit. The soul.
Bruce Wayne: My soul is as ready to escape as is my body.
Blind Prisoner: Fear is why you fail.
Bruce Wayne: No, I'm not afraid. I'm angry.
[Bruce carries on doing sit-ups]
[later Bruce attempts to climb the prison wall again, but a rock slips under his hand and he drops smashing into the wall, as he dangles on the rope unconscious he dreams of when he was a young boy and had dropped down the well and his father coming to rescue him]
Thomas Wayne: Bruce, why do we fall?
[we then see Bruce waking up with start in his prison cell]
Blind Prisoner: You do not fear death. You think this makes you strong. It makes you weak.
Bruce Wayne: Why?
Blind Prisoner: How can you move faster than possible? Fight longer than possible? Without the most powerful impulse of the spirit. The fear of death.
Bruce Wayne: I do fear death. I fear dying in here while my city burns with no one there to save it.
Blind Prisoner: Then make the climb.
[Bruce laughs dryly]
Bruce Wayne: How?
Blind Prisoner: As the child did. Without the rope. Then fear will find you again.
[as Bruce packs supplies folds into a makeshift pack]
Prisoner: Ah, supplies for your journey? Oh, that's...that's wonderful, that's...
[as Bruce walks out of his cell he hears the other prisoners chanting the word "deshi basara"]
Bruce Wayne: What does that mean?
Prisoner: Rise.
[as Bruce moves to climb the wall, the tattooed prisoner offers him the rope, but Bruce puts up his hand]
Bruce Wayne: No.
[Bruce starts climbing the wall, the other prisoners gather beneath and continue chanting as they watch, as Bruce gets to the precipice suddenly a bunch of bats circle above him, Bruce then makes the jump to the other ledge and manages to grab hold of the edge, the other prisoners cheer as Bruce climbs to freedom]
[at City Hall building, Fox watches as Stryver gets dragged upstairs by Bane's men]
Stryver: There's been a mistake! Take...take me to Bane! I wanna see Bane!From The Dark Knight:
Alfred Pennyworth: Took quite a fall, didn't we, Master Bruce?
Thomas Wayne: And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.
Alfred Pennyworth: Why bats, Master Wayne?
Bruce Wayne: Bats frighten me. It's time my enemies shared my dread.
From Dark Knight Rises:
[after seeing the dead bodies of the special forces men hanging from the cables of Gotham Bridge shown on TV, we see Bruce doing sit-ups in his cell, the blind prisoner says something in his own language the other prisoner translates]
Prisoner: He says the leap to freedom is not about strength.
Bruce Wayne: My body makes the jump.
Blind Prisoner: Survival is the spirit. The soul.
Bruce Wayne: My soul is as ready to escape as is my body.
Blind Prisoner: Fear is why you fail.
Bruce Wayne: No, I'm not afraid. I'm angry.
[Bruce carries on doing sit-ups]
[later Bruce attempts to climb the prison wall again, but a rock slips under his hand and he drops smashing into the wall, as he dangles on the rope unconscious he dreams of when he was a young boy and had dropped down the well and his father coming to rescue him]
Thomas Wayne: Bruce, why do we fall?
[we then see Bruce waking up with start in his prison cell]
Blind Prisoner: You do not fear death. You think this makes you strong. It makes you weak.
Bruce Wayne: Why?
Blind Prisoner: How can you move faster than possible? Fight longer than possible? Without the most powerful impulse of the spirit. The fear of death.
Bruce Wayne: I do fear death. I fear dying in here while my city burns with no one there to save it.
Blind Prisoner: Then make the climb.
[Bruce laughs dryly]
Bruce Wayne: How?
Blind Prisoner: As the child did. Without the rope. Then fear will find you again.
This dark angel is here to show me the lesson Bruce Wayne had to learn is key to my growth and moving forward through this (and any future) dark time in my life. Fear has to be used as a fulcrum as we find that delicate balance of it either paralyzing or empowering us. In order to do so, I must face it and respect its power but not let that keep me prisoner because it has power over me. This is where my true freedom lies.
This version of The Hanged Man Rx shows that I have had to make some extreme sacrifices, learn to have patience, be far more flexible than I knew I could and to be at peace with the fact that as shitty as it is, this is the place I am on my journey through this thing called life. The moonbeam reminds me of the Bat-Signal. Sometime I have to fight my own battles, but sometimes I have to call on forces far more seasoned and indomitable than I am in this human form. I'll take this a confirmation that my ancestors, angels, Orhsias and Lwa that I've petitioned for help are fighting on my behalf. The number 12 breaks down to a 3. It reminds me to have patience and treat mySelf with love and kindness, nurture mySelf as I am growing and things are coming together. Sometimes I have to be put in very VERYuncomfortable positions in order to see things from a more useful perspective. This elegant, winged ballerina is letting me know it won't be long before I experience the bliss of freedom. Yet I can't focus on that end because it is experiencing each present moment that allows me to actually move ahead.
Something moved me to pull the card at the bottom of the deck, which for me sums up a reading or is the bottom line of what it is all about. I got The Tower XVII. How perfectly apropos.
My fortune cookie I got tonight.
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