Ceelo and I Say Fuck You!!!!!

This is how I feel right now. If anyone had EVER told me things would EVER come to this, I'd have called them a lying, dirty dog! I am shocked beyond words.

Making H's Wedding List

Hmm..not sure what to make of these (but that is why I started doing this, to learn how to break through the fear of "getting it wrong" or not being a "good reader". But to open up my subconscious and read the damn cards!)
Page of Pentacles, The Wheel of Fortune X and the King of Swords. When I first saw the adorable Leila who is pictured on the PofPent I saw her adorable princess dress and beautiful happy smile. The Wheel looked humongous and actually made me dizzy, and then to see Dave in his tux all = the fact that H has been sitting here making her list for her wedding guests.  The 7 of Wands is on the bottom. This reading is so exactly what is going on today lol! Most women think of their wedding day as their fairy princess day, and then there is Dave pictured in his tux is Eddie (Helen's fiance') and the Wheel and the 7ofSw is how she is feeling as she makes this list. It's a huge task to organize a wedding and her head is spinning from trying to make sure she remembers everyone and to try to keep from going overboard on spending too much money. Hence, the stressed out look on Uncle Al's face (the guy in the picture is named Uncle Al, a dear friend of Rhiannon Faulkner who created the deck) as he looks at the paper work on his desk.

Then when I think about the elemental dignities, it actually does confirm the divinitory meaning I got. There are 2 earth, 1 fire, 1 air. There is no water. Out of only 4 cards, there is one major arcana, 2 court cards, and only one pip.

The majority of earth shows me that money is a big factor even though H is pretty financially set.  The air right next to it shows the need to be pragmatic. That Princess is the inner little girl who is lost in the fantasy of it all, and pentacles need to have a set plan that they can rely on to feel at ease. That King says clear, smart decisions must be made, and a sword makes me think of how we have been saying "who's gonna make the cut" as we've been making the list knowing she has can't go over a set number of guests.  At $67  a head, some heads may have to get cut!

Hmph...and I started this off saying I didn't know what to make of these cards! LMAO

Molly had to come double check lol!

Today Was a Good Day

Ok, can't find a quite spot to do my reading LOL! But I can say for sure this is a wonderful reading lol! 8 of Wands, 3 of Wands, and 9 Cups. And the bottom card is the 10 of Cups. First thing that comes to mind is how the wands are coming up out of those dark storm clouds and into the bright sunshine and then you see in the next card how it looks like a the continuation of that scene. The Sag symbol says how lucky I am, and also that I  need to call Jacqui b/c it's been way too long since i have! For some reason the flags on the back of the ship on the 3ofW reminds me of the ones you see on a used car lot LOL. What the hell?? And the top balloon looks like an ice cream cone lol! And the 9ofC is the wish card. All that food makes me think about the fact that H (Helen) and I are going to lunch since the 10ofC in this deck is her animals and house in the picture.

When I look up the meaning of the elemental dignities I really am reminded of how powerful of a tool that can be to give readings more depth and understanding. The sites that Catherine (Tarot Elements.com)  and Doug (taroteon.com) have are so educational! I very strongly suggest if you are interested in expanding your tarot skills no matter how new or how experienced you are at tarot! (link to Catherine's site will be below this post) This is what they say of Fire/Fire/Water or Water/Fire/Fire 3 card spreads:

"These triads are moderately strong.

There’s a real desire and impetus to move forward and get things moving with this combination, but it’s really being dogged by an emotional tug, perhaps a conflict of interests; guilty feelings of putting work before love maybe? However, it’s still action over emotion.

Douglas: The central card will still have a slight influence over the client’s life. This triad brings images to mind of eagerness and enthusiasm for a project just begun but…, resistance to that project. As with most things, despite what we want to happen, things inevitably slow it down; whether that is the client’s inner emotional resistance, or the environments apathy. Overall, things move forward, but expect resistance."

This makes so much sense! (checking elemental dignities E.D. almost always  does) I do have to be mindful not to let my emotions of anger and sadness get the best of me given my current situation (water) and keep my ass in gear and moving, stay motivated and energetic (fire) NOT apathetic  about my life and the fact that this is really a whole new opportunity with a lot of possibilities!
------So not that I'm home and it os like 6 hrs later, I can see even more how the cards were talking to me. The 8ofW was because we were zipping all over today. Helen is a very zippy one lol. That card also means messages, letters, phone calls ect. often from a romantic interest. I got a really cool email from a certain someone how still makes my heart skip a beat and makes me very tingle-y in naughty places ;-D

 The 3ofW was to show how well we do get along,  I did have several moments were I truly felt so much gratitude for my life and the things I DO have. Like when I saw the man crossing a very busy street in his wheel chair. Or the homeless man on the Blvd. Or how generous H is!!! She got me the coolest, schnazy new slippers that are made like boots, furry, black and with silver sequins!! HA!! How freakin' cool are they!!!

And the 9ofC is to remind me of how my wishes actually have come true from all of this crap. I SO did NOT want to have to go back "home" and see my roomate's b/f!! We got along so well (or so I thought...) with the exception of him!!! I have been wishing to have pets, and now I live with 3 (2 of whom look like the ones on the 10ofC) and possibly 2 more yet to come LOL! I wished for a non-smoking house and always felt so guilty that my old roomate tried so hard not to smoke around me (the b/f so did not!) and H hates smoke as much as I do, so that is perfect!

I'm a very lucky girl and today was just as wonderful as these cards said it would be!

ATL-PHL: Moving Day 2/15/11

I'm on the plane right now on the way back to Philly. Today's message is  instantly clear to me. Don't worry about the things that have brought me down or could keep me in a state of depression because I have so much to be grateful for. I have created a lot of good fortune and I will be receiving a lot of it today.

I got the 4 of Cups, 6 of Pentacles, and the 9 of Wands. (very surprised there are only minor arcana.) When I look t the 4ofC today it's like I see myself seeing things that I want but I don't have. I have to believe that I can acquire anything I want, I just have to believe that it is possible, focus, and work for it. It's also saying to me that I can not sit around the house anymore, I have got to be active and go do things in spite of how broke I am right now. The 6ofP is the fact that Helen has offered for me to stay with her. And hell, I won't have to every say again that I actually live in fucking New Jersey LOL!! Ugh!!  I also feel like that may be her mamma Carol saying she wants Helen to do it. And not just Helen, but how many wonderful people who love and care about me and are so kind a gracious to me! I am one lucky ass chick!!! The 9ofW says for me to not be defensive and angry or bitter, but to use my energy to get my life on the track I want to be on.  I do have somewhere to go for now. In this deck, this card represents the Winter Solstice; it's always darkest before the dawn. That now is the time to let go and release old patterns that aren't good for me and plan for the future I want to create. 9's are about transition and wands are energy, creativity, drive, work, passion. I have a lot of hard work ahead of me, but I also have a whole lot to be grateful for.

Make An Assessment!

I just listened to my dear Rhiannon's new tarot radio show on BlogTalkRadio and one of my fellow approved Faulkner Tarot instructors, Kelley Trewin, did a wonderful show today. So I asked my guides "How can I be a better reader? I know I am meant to be one, but what do I need to do to make it a reality?" I for some reason have a hard time with reading from this deck in spite of how special it is to me. I'm not sure if it's because it's so different from any other deck or if it's because Rhiannon has offered me an amazing opportunity by the fact that she and her guide Brian selected me to be a representative of her beautiful labor of love and that makes me feel even more insecure and the self-imposed pressure to "get it right/not mess up". Now when I think about the msg I received today from my daily guidance from Neil Donald Walsh, it really makes it all come full circle that I just need to get my head out of my ass. (I will add it somewhere in the post and add his link. Scary how spot on he so often is!).

 But here is what my guides told/showed me.

Knight of Pentacles, King of Swords, Justice II

The very first thing to jump out at me was the KofSw and I heard "Be decisive and clear! Cut the shit and just do it! If you don't believe in you, who the hell else will? Make an assessment (a phrase/joke I have with a certain KofSw man!! LOL) and be direct b/c we are with you! Stand your ground with your doubting voice and don't let it just stone-wall you! You are a tarot healer, but you have to start to heal yourself first. Stop judging yourself so damn harshly!" Holy shit that's a mouthfull huh! The KntofP says I need to be more structured and that this blog will be a great way for me to do that and to learn more. About myself, my cards and my abilities. Again the message to be patient with myself. Tarot is a way of life for me, so just take my time and continue to learn and build on my skills. The Justice card, the scale on the left that looks so dark stood out first. I feel like being next to the KofSw it's saying how much all of this court crap weighs on me so heavily and how it has gotten my whole world so out of balance! So I could blame my struggle on that blocking my gift, or I can look at it as a Buddhist and how we see true happiness. That there will always be struggles and obstacles, it's up to us to look at them in a way that we do NOT let those things determine who we ARE or the quality of our life. Or how amazing of a tarot reader I am. It's all about believing in my self and my limitless potential and that I a totally worthy of success! 

The bottom card is The Hierophant V. 5's are so....."interesting" Lol! It just depends on how you look at them: A. a bunch of bullshit!! Or 2. Unique and special opportunities to make much needed changes. I really love the way Rhiannon has chosen to portray this card, very unique. She says it's like God yoking you up and saying cut the crap and get real, the time is now!" I feel like it is reminding me that God/Goddess/Spirit and all of my guides, including the people I love who are now gone are always there to help me read. Just ask them to help, trust that they always do, and most importantly trust myself and see myself as the beautiful guide for so many others that I was created to and have chosen to be. 

Electric Feel

I had an interesting dream last night. I'm so glad to be dreaming so vividly again!! There was an older, light-skinned lady and she was tell me about her amazing life. I could hear "Rebel Rebel" in my head for real as I saw her as a young girl passing out flyers on stage while The Stones and David Bowie performed. (how crazy is it that I just saw Mick Jagger preform on The Grammys!) Her husband was in the Navy. Then I saw her yard outside and there was a beautiful rose bush full of bright coral blooms. We were in her house and my mom was in the other room. The lady and I were in the kitchen. She whispered in my ear, "I own 3 houses. A girl has to always be prepared to take care of herself. " Somehow I knew she was trying to let me know she was leaving one to me.  Then I look out the window and see a helicopter flying very low and about to crash in the front yard. I ran and saw Mom running ahead of me. We saw the pilot's face, how he was trying to remain calm but it was inevitable and it came twirling to the ground.
We see the light from the blast and we go outside, only now there isn't a yard but a dock and lots of water. The Navy and Coast Guard are there. They tell us to jump. Mom says she won't because she can swim (the woman is petrified of water in real life!) and I can't. I remember thinking "WTF didn't I take swmming lessons!!?" I see lots of rescue boats and a large bridge not far away. (Then the barking of chihuahuas in real life woke me up as they tried to attack the Jehovah's Witnesses LMAO!)

4 of Wands, Knight of Wands and 2 of Swords with the 10 of Cups on the bottom. (second time today of the 2ofSw). First thing I saw was the rainbow and heard "rainbow moment". (Since I have no scanner and the photos suck, you can't see the dam rainbow, but it's there. I'll add a link so you can see a few images and get a feel for how gorgeous the deck is.) While I was here in Atlanta I had what I have now named "a rainbow moment" which I had while talking to Jeanette and actually forming a friendship with her. We were talking about me telling this really cute but totally weird-vibe-having guy that I was not going to go out with his ass. It all translates into me learning to say No! If I mean no, to say NO and mean it and be fine with it! The happy, safe home life pictured on the 10ofC is so my new room mate's house! Her cat and dog look just like this and are the best of friends and sleep together just like that! I think it all translates into making better, smarter choices(2ofSw) and taking decisive action to live my life with passion and vibrancy (Knt of W) to have the home life and marriage I want.  The Knt of Wands is so the kind of man I want! (Still got it for one in particular but that is a whole 'nother crazy story of what will never be in spite of how he makes my heart feel. And a whole lot of other parts on me!!! DAMN the man is amazing!!! Ugghhh!! I gotta hit that at least one more time!! but this is another long story for another time.) Well, with the maturity of the King of Wands!! But this is who I want to cultivate within my own self and thus attract! This knight is the one is is like electricity! He's fun and alive and will skydive,(as pictured on the Vanessa Tarot!) have fun, a joy to be around, funny, out going, and crazy hot passionate hot sex! (Mmmm..I can see Rain from Ninja Assassin in the knight's helmet today!) To plan and execute them better so I am prepared for the unexpected shit that can change your life in an instant. Also so that when I  am old and grey I can look back with no regrets and say I have lived a wonderful life worth living and did all the things I truly wanted. And there is SOO much more I want to do!

Omg, I can't believe what song just came on Pandora!! I have got to add the lyrics so as to really make it clear how profound this is LOL!!!


Electric Feel by MGMT
All along the western front
People line up to receive
She got the power in her hand
To shock you like you won't believe
Saw her in the Amazon
With the voltage running through her skin
Standing there with nothing on
She's going to teach me how to swim

Said oh, girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl
Turn me on with your electric feel
I said oh, girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl
Turn me on with your electric feel

All along the eastern shore
Put your circuits in the sea
This is what the world is for
Making electricity
You can feel it in your mind
Oh, you can do it all the time
Plug it in and change the world
You are my electric girl

Said oh, girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl
Turn me on with your electric feel
Said oh, girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl
Turn me on with your electric feel

Do what you feel now
Electric feel now
Do what you feel now
Electric feel now
Do what you feel now
Electric feel now
Do what you feel now
Electric feel now
Do what you feel now
Electric feel now 

Lessons Learned

The first thing I thought of when I saw the first card was my sister in Atl who I have been visiting. It's the Chinese goddess NuKua (my sister is half Chinese). The 8 of Pentacles is all about learning, education and promotion. As I looked at the picture I thought of how I taught her about Nichiren Buddhism. Also how much I have learned about my life while I have been here and how much she has taught me, especially about the amazing, unbreakable bond we have after almost a lifetime of friendship. Of how she helped me to pull myself out of the nasty mud of depression I was in, and put up with my crazy ass and still loved me through it . So I decided to look up some more info in NuKua and will add a link to that. Thalia Took, creator of The Goddess Oracle Deck, said, "She is the tempering influence that calms situations and brings level-headedness." (I have been watching the creation of this deck for years and can NOT WAIT for it to be complete so I can be one of the first to purchase it!) This really sums up how my sister has helped me deal with the craziness that has just unfolded in my life. I also notice the huge bright light that looks like a portal that the people are walking into as they leave Her. It says to me that I am leaving ATL to walk into a very bright future.

The next card says the choice is mine, the 2 of Swords. It also says not to be angry with my old room mate, to choose to bury the hatchet that I literally have been feeling with the stabbing pains between my shoulder blades.  Also not to forget the lessons learned and to make much better choices about my life. The presence of earth cards and an air card shows I need to not be so fixed and be more flexible so I can take decisive action, something I suck at.

The  on the bottom of the deck says the bottom line is to see how very fortunate I am and actually have always been throughout my life in so many ways no matter how dark things may have been and to be grateful for all the many blessings I have been given and the good fortune I have created.
Also how very fortunate I am that my sister found me after all these years!!!  Aces are all about new beginnings, and we have a whole new beginning to our relationship. And I have a whole new beginning to my life. The A of P is all about something firmly rooted that continues to grow and prosper and produce tangible results that are quite valuable.

This woman's quilting I found on Flickr is so beautiful and I really like her interpretation on the Goddess NuKua.